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In 2014, Farrago wants to reignite debate. Do you disagree with something you’ve read in the magazine? Think the university or UMSU could be doing things differently? Or perhaps you’ve got something nice to say? Every issue, we will publish your wittiest tweets, your rantiest Facebook messages, your most insightful website comments, and your most provocative letters.

FAILING FOR FOOD

Thanks for making me fail my exams.

Instead of studying at the end of last year, I spend two weeks running around trying to buy everything from your “Exam Junk” article. Misty’s Diner is in Prahran, so I went there first for the Reese’s Pieces Thickshake. Then I got distracted on Chapel St!

Next was the potato chips, which your article says I could buy from Costco. But I had to get a membership from there first, and by the time I did that, I was so hungry I ate all 907 grams of the giant bag of chips.

The Béchamel sauce was easy enough, down at Woolworths. But all it did was make me feel too sick to study.

So I decided to calm my stomach down with some sweet treats. I ran around the city to collect salted caramel spread, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and marshmallow dip. And all of that just made me worse. I spent the last few days before my exam sick in bed from eating all that junk.

Now I have to repeat Microeconomics. All because of you, Farrago. Thanks.

Bernice Parker

I HEART FARRAGO

I love Farrago’s design, humour and quality. The best thing about it is that it gives our student community a unified voice.

I’d love to see more diversity in the creative section of the mag. Since our community is wonderfully diverse, I think we should have all kinds of genres displayed regularly. But most of all, keep up the amazing work and let’s keep submitting!

Rachel Ivell

STANDING UP FOR WHOM?

Just as Tony Abbott asked Australia to “Stand Up for Real Action”, Stand Up! has deceived the electorate here at Melbourne University. UMSU’s new President and Secretary, each elected with over 50 per cent of the primary vote, are not providing responsible and representative governance.

Stand Up! made a promise to expand services on campus, including BBQs and activities, as well as enhancing their role at non-Parkville campuses, notably the VCA.

The budget moved by this duo at Students’ Council ignores this promise to their voters by slashing department budgets—including Wom*n’s, Queer, Environment, Education, and Welfare (just to name a few)—in order to send an extra $15,000 to the National Union of Students.

When asked by Students’ Council to justify this increase, NUS President Deanna Taylor could not explain why an increase in affiliation was necessary.

Declan McGonigle and Sam Donnelly owe all students an apology for ignoring their mandate.

Stood Up by Stand Up!

$5.2 MILLION

Hello My dearest Friend

Note that this information is real. It is not a joke.

I am contacting you so that we can agree on the legal transaction of $5,200,000.00 U.S.dollars which was left in the bank by my late client. Please reply

Barrister Ali Saleeq

LETTUCE TO THE EDITOR

I hear this year’s Farrago is going to start ripping off the mX. Simon

Young people don’t smoke anymore. The Melbourne Uni smoking ban hurts staff more than students. Denise

Yes, smoking does contribute to cancer in some individuals, but not every smoker develops cancer—this is false advertising of a sort that would not be allowed by private businesses, yet is acceptable by government entities. Jonathan

Nannyism is officially at unimelb! Anna

I picked (Farrago) up once but it was all poems and stuff. Nick

The ABC is the second most corrupt media organisation in this country. The first is Farrago. Tony

The 2014 editors are boring. I can’t be bothered tweeting this year. @FarragoWatch

Can’t believe they made Kevin Hawkins an editor. Melbourne Uni’s biggest troll has no place in my favourite magazine. Kevin