This is an election year. A desperate time for everyone in this vast and empty country, but especially for those men and women in cheap polyester suits and $10 haircuts whom we call politicians. Soon, the more reflective among the nation will plunge into a miasma of despair, out of which, there is no clear path.

Julia Gillard does not speak for me, and neither does her party of scumbags who I voted for. I doubt they speak for many among our generation at all. She is lowdown swine with fewer honest convictions than a snake, and her party is populated by jabbering, frightened, reactionary fools who will betray her whenever they think they can get away with it. They have presided over criminal human rights abuses, with regard to the treatment of refugees, that befit a terrifying regime such as Iran or Donald Trump’s secret prison island/toupée factory, not a supposedly liberal democratic nation. They have also continued to deny the rights of gay couples to join together in the contract of mutual misery that is the institution of marriage, despite, according to Galaxy polls, a 64% majority of the population being clearly in favour of it.

Labor are the closest thing to the good guys that we have in this horrible year of 2013, only because the alternative is so much worse. An alternative that is a ball of bigotry and misogyny pressed into the shape of a man and thrust into poly-cotton, backed by a party espousing the views of old white men with hearts full of hate.

The politics of this nation leave me uninspired and depressed, and it’s not because I’m too busy playing on an iPhone, masturbating over reality TV shows, trying to find the right pair of skinny chinos, or whatever other condescending obsession they want to charge our entire generation with. They fill me with hatred and anger, because I am not represented, and all I hear from their greedy speech holes is the same old bullshit designed to trick people who can’t understand four syllable words into providing their ignorant support. Vote Labor. Vote Liberal. They’re both selling the same outdated version of the Australian dream anyway.

We have been failed by them and our views ignored like poor children dying in the bush, so why should we care? When there is no real cogent debate what is the point of arguing with the rotten punks? Gillard was a lawyer and Abbott was a Rhodes scholar. That should mean something. Surely they can do more than just sling bitchy insults, accuse each other of destroying the economy and pretend to embody some cliché about the ‘Aussie Spirit’.

Maybe they don’t think the nation is intelligent enough for real policy. Could they really think so little of the nation they wish to lead?

They are power people, their hearts consumed with the passion for control, rather than for helping others. We are hearing the same argument we’ve heard in the past against women’s rights, Indigenous rights, and African-American civil rights, just this time it is homophobes and religious zealots pushing their hatred, instead of racists and misogynists. I’m sure many of them probably fulfill those categories too, but they have lost those battles. Why are we letting them keep fighting this one?

The only reason to vote in September is to keep that slimy rat-man out of office. What an inspiring thought. We should be better than this.