Originally published October 30, 2020 on radiofodder.com

It’s an understatement to say that our world has changed over the past year, and it hasn’t been pleasant. Our lives have altered as we have endured the highs and lows of lockdown. This had me wondering how the characters we love from fictional television universes would behave during this time. Would they be frantically emptying supermarket shelves? Breaking curfew? Refusing to wear a mask? Or even making their own masks and trying to make a profit? I have compiled a list of iconic TV characters and suggested what their lockdown experience might be…

Rachel Green – Friends

We’ll start with the character that helped revolutionise 2000s hairstyles. Lockdown would be the perfect opportunity for Rachel to pamper herself with some online shopping. I can imagine a very tall pile of packages outside their apartment door. I mean, why judge her? Who hasn’t indulged in a bit of online shopping these past months?

Buffy – Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

Buffy’s life consists of slaying vampires in the graveyard at night and either going to school, uni, or work during the day (depends on where you’re at in your re-watch – which you definitely should be prioritising!). With curfews and restrictions confining us to our homes, I’m sure the vampires of Sunnydale would be enjoying life without the slayer. But if we know Buffy, she’d probably have a plan to sneak out and slay vamps. I mean, what else would she have to do on a Tuesday night?

 Toadie – Neighbours

Now I know Toadie no longer has this hairstyle, but it makes me laugh too much not to include this picture. Maybe he would start growing out his hair and bring back this iconic look in lockdown?…we can only hope! 

But really, I’m sure he would be learning new wrestling moves and trying to keep Nell and Hugo occupied. And I’m sure at some point the residents of Ramsay Street would pop over. I mean, they all basically live under the one roof! I guarantee some of them would break restrictions.

Terry – Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There’s no doubt in my mind that Terry would have emptied all the yogurt shelves at the supermarket and would currently be living in a yogurt fort, gradually eating his way out. TERRY NEEDS YOGURT!

Eleven – Stranger Things 

Eleven would be stuck in Mike’s basement being taught how to play Dungeons & Dragons and being immensely confused by it all. She would hopefully be strengthening her powers to face whatever the Upside Down throws at the gang next. I can imagine a bat-like monster arriving…

George – Seinfeld

George would be visiting his parents when the lockdown was announced. Naturally, they would force him to quarantine with them and he would be stuck at his parents’ house, going slowly insane as each day passed. He would call and annoy Jerry often, begging Jerry to break him out. Of course, Jerry would be living out his dream of running around his apartment dressed up as Superman, loving life! George’s parents would probably never let him go.

Homer – The Simpsons

I’m 100% sure that Homer wouldn’t even be aware of the pandemic happening. If he did (by some miracle) find out and understood what it meant, he would most likely try and eat a bat to reverse the virus, in a Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror turn of events. Us mere mortals just can’t argue with Homer’s logic.

Marcia Brady – The Brady Bunch

Marcia would most likely be sitting in front of her mirror, combing her hair. Things wouldn’t be any different to her life pre-lockdown, to be honest. Marcia–forever the narcissist. 

Michel – Gilmore Girls

Although he may not make up the iconic duo that is the Gilmore girls, Michel’s sass and disinterest has always made him a favourite of mine! I’m sure he would be exercising profusely to accumulate his daily steps and avoid weight gain. With the lockdown – and I’m guessing temporary closure of the Inn – Michel would be thrilled by the opportunity to avoid interacting with others. He would also be secretly missing his endless banter with Lorelai and Sookie. 

Raven – That’s so Raven

Raven would surely be building her fashion empire and designing a line of new ‘lockdown’ clothes! I’m hoping that she would be in lockdown with Chelsea and Eddie where they would be getting up to their usual antics. Raven might be having visions about them needing to go undercover (because when don’t they?) to save an Uber Driver from delivering contaminated food. 

Lex – Smallville

Drawing on Lex and Clark’s ‘friendship’ from the first 4 seasons (the best ones), I imagine that they would be stuck together for lockdown, either at the Kent Farm or in Lex’s mansion. Clark would naturally be worrying about accidentally revealing his powers and Lex would definitely be trying to figure out why his friend is always mysteriously disappearing and saving the day.