Farrago news

GOLDEN BLOOD: A Homecoming On and Off-Stage for Merlynn Tong’s Striking Singapore Family Drama

A striking treatise on grief, money, family, and whatever comes after us, Golden Blood takes its audience into the underbelly of Singapore where a dysfunctional dyad makes their way through.

 
THE PUCCINI GALA: Stealing Opera from the Aristocracy One Aria at a Time

Trigger warnings: Racism, private schools (lmao), sexism

 
LISTEN OUT…For the Call of John Summit’s Fans

Having received tickets the night before Friday’s festival, I was a bit hesitant to attend. The lineup was filled with household name American rappers, like 21 Savage, and dance music moguls, like John Summit. Having never really been a devoted follower of rap, I wasn’t sure if my techno interests were going to clash. However, Listen Out proved me wrong.

 
Home is CIPTA THEATRE COMPANY at Their BELONGING SHOWCASE

Three Shows. Three nights. Following their debut, The Last Supper, Cipta’s Belonging Showcase endeavoured to pose a resonant question to its keen audience: where is home? From Singapore to India to Australia, the Showcase brought much cheer and heartfelt joy to the Guild Theatre.

 
MOUSEATOUILLE Know Who Their Real Friends Are

[This interview was originally broadcast live via Radio Fodder on 30/08/24. The complete and unabridged interview can be listened to on Mixcloud.]

 
Magdalena Bay Are Fully Realised on the Cosmic IMAGINAL DISK

Artists like Magdalena Bay who are extremely rhapsodic about their craft must be appreciated. In the current era of rampant commodification and mass production of art, there’s intense pressure to conform to this convention to secure success. Meanwhile, the Magdalena Bay duo of partners Mica Tenebaum and Matthew Lewin sit above this expected conformity.

 
 
We’re Caught in a Trap, I Can’t Walk Out: COPPOLA'S PRISCILLA

TW: References to coercive control and domestic violence.

 
You Could Deal With Your Internalised Anger Or You Could Play VAMPYR and Kill 7 Guys With a Hacksaw

Trigger Warning: Violence, murder, small mention of chronic-illness.

I know which one sounds more fun to me.

Do you ever just want to kill a bunch of vampire hunters with a hacksaw? Slicing and dicing your way through hordes of enemies has a level of satisfaction that can almost completely restore my ruined dopamine levels. Especially after getting unnecessarily harsh marks or sitting through a particularly painful lecture.

 
BY JANE’S HAND: Ecstasy of the Lone Authoress

One summer, overtaken by a determination to better my circumstances, I enrolled in a meditation class. ‘It would help my anxiety,’ they told me, and calm the nerves I’d nurtured into adulthood. I settled into the humid room, ignored the middle aged white ladies, and endeavoured to breathe.

 
Concubines Against the Patriarchy: Xiran Jay Zhao’s IRON WIDOW

CW: discussion of addiction and misogyny, references to warfare

 
MADAME WEB: What Did We Expect?

I went into this movie as a joke, not expecting much out of it, and still found myself thoroughly disappointed. It is truly baffling how a movie this incompetently made is allowed to be shown in theatres.

 
NGV's PHARAOH: A Celebration of Ancient Egyptian Art and History

Whenever the National Gallery of Victoria holds an exhibition, I am always excited and eager to go. In the past, the NGV has curated many fantastic exhibits that have never failed to impress. So, of course I had to see the much-anticipated Pharaoh exhibit.

 
Bristle at the Book, In Awe of the Author: MWF sits with TOSHIKAZU KAWAGUCHI

Warning: Spoilers for Before the Coffee Gets Cold, mentions of misogyny, mentions of pregnancy and related death.

 
MACBETH: AN UNDOING Breathes Fresh Life into a Shakespearean Classic

Macbeth: An Undoing is Malthouse’s fresh revisionist take on Shakespeare’s classic text, reframing the story from the perspective of the original gaslighting, gatekeeping girlboss Lady Macbeth herself. The show takes bold risks that many Shakespeare purists would deem sacrilegious, as Zinnie Harris’ script and Matthew Lutton’s direction combine to create a daring retelling of a show that could easily be written off as old hat to those traumatised by VCE essays.

 
The Case for THE BEAR

With its third season, FX’s The Bear truly hits its stride.The show asserts itself as not a fleeting phenomenon, but a culture-defining and truly unique piece of television that employs its breakout success to reach new artistic heights.

 
‘DISNEY’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST’ – Something That Was(n’t) There Before

It goes without saying that ‘Beauty and the Beast’ from 1991 is one of the greatest Disney, if not one of the greatest animated, films of all time. It certainly is to me, having probably watched the VHS more times than I’ve breathed (and having watched the, um, interesting, remake as little as possible). So, hearing that the theatrical production version was returning to Melbourne again, I was excited to check it out.

 
Meet the Stella Prize Winner: ALEXIS WRIGHT's Aptly Named 'PRAISEWORTHY'

CW: Death or dying, suicide, references to Australian settler colonialism

 
Treadmills and Tasks with PONY CAM'S BURNOUT PARADISE

RISING’s website describes experimental theatre collective Pony Cam’s Burnout Paradise as “a delusional love letter to the labour, recklessness and euphoric optimism that comes before burnout.” Those clowns at Pony Cam successfully captured all of these, with an unforgettable workout that made the most of audience participation.

 
The Ecstatic Liberation of the ‘Wise Old Woman’ in Gabrielle Leah New’s RECLAIM THE CRONE

As someone who aspires towards a romantic, idealist view on life, but continually defaults to a sort of rationalist nihilism, much of my tram ride up to St Kilda to see Reclaim the Crone involved considering a sort of openness — prepping myself into a willingness to receive, or surrender to, something irrational, you might say.

 
Experiencing Komorebi Through Wenders' PERFECT DAYS

Listen to the street sweeper. Thank them for gently blowing out your dream, floating you back into waking life, like falling leaves. Look up and feel the crack of dawn softly pierce your eyes. Smell the air of the streets, still clean and unused. Surround yourself in the materiality of the world.

 
‘Girl, so confusing’: CHARLI XCX and LORDE’s exploration of female friendship

Content warning: mentions of body dysmorphia and disordered eating

 
Chocolat Revolution: Hopes, Dreams and the People

“Come with me, and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination.”

 
Aussie Psych Rock Trailblazers GUM & Ambrose Kenny-Smith Come Together on ILL TIMES

“Involve your friends in your art” is a striking statement I recently stumbled across—working with like-minded people is a reliable way to produce a labour of love and revel in fun. That’s exactly what Australian psychedelic rock pioneers Jay Watson (Pond and Tame Impala’s touring band) and Ambrose Kenny-Smith (King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard and The Murlocs) got up to when concocting their collaborative album, Ill Times.

 
MWF's First Knowledges: Innovation: The Panel I Was So Divided On I Split Into Two People

Trigger warning: This piece contains continuous swearing, discussions of colonialism, racism and academic gatekeeping, and mentions the transatlantic slave trade.

 
ESSENDON AIRPORT Chronicles Their Early Voyage

Coming off their latest performance at Collingwood’s lovely Hope St Radio (which we wrote about for the magazine), David Chesworth and Robert Goodge, founding members of the legendary Melbourne band Essendon Airport, are in good spirits.

 
SAUDI FILM NIGHT: ALHAMOUR H.A. - A Little Vapid, but by What Standard?

"What do you think of ‘The Line?’”, my friend, Ben, asks of the Saudi person sitting next to us. An oud sings out melancholically on stage. I catch eyes with the oud player. I'm excited.  

He says he doesn't know much about “The Line", so they go on to banter about sport, and how we call soccer “soccer”, and they call soccer “football”.

 
26 by MANNIK SINGH: A Reminiscent Exploration of the Self from Adolescence to Twenty-Six

Streaks of child-like wonder, bashful adolescence, angst, relationships, and the crushing realisations of adulthood, 26 by Mannik Singh is a personal project at heart.

 
A Wholesome Night with GOOD MORNING

There’s something uncomfortable about going to a concert by yourself. It’s the same feeling as going to a restaurant, the beach, or the cinema alone. All these locations carry with them the anxiety (or maybe it’s a desire) that you must be sharing them with someone else.

 
A Sunday at the Symphony

Photograph credit: Melbourne Chamber Orchestra

 
underscores Brings Her Electrifying World to the Corner Hotel

It was a real joy to discover underscores, aka April Harper Grey, was finally set to headline our continent. The San Francisco artist’s 2021 debut album fishmonger made waves in the hyperpop scene, and 2023’s Wallsocket did that more so by bending indie rock, dubstep, Midwest emo, pop punk and all the sort. We got the chance to see her fervent artistry in person, witnessing her interweaving of maximalist rocky-electro soundscapes with pensive lyrics and worldbuilding to lose yourself in.

 
RISING'S 'ONE SONG' - A Musical Test of Endurance

Photographer credit: Tamarah Scott

 
The Hypnotic ‘HEAR MY EYES: HELLRAISER’

Photographer credit: Bakri Mahmoud

 
ABC CLASSIC 100 in Concert 2024 – Counting Down the Hits

Photographer credit: Laura Manariti

 
MACBUREAU: Honestly the Most Fun I've Had Watching Shakespeare in Years

Ever wanted Macbeth to have more lesbians? What am I saying? Everyone wants more lesbians, and Melbourne University Shakespeare Company’s (MUSC) Macbureau gave Macbeth the lesbians it sorely missed, with (not-at-all pointed) critiques of university systems to boot.

 
GOODBYE JULIA: It isn’t just the personal that is political

‘Goodbye Julia’ (Mohamed Kordofani) opens with protagonist ‘Mona’ cooking in her large and kept kitchen, making breakfast for both her and her husband. Mona lives in Khartoum, the capital of Sudan. This scene begins quite lonely as Mona cuts an onion, with her husband ‘Akram’ only entering the room when Mona calls him in. Despite his presence, there is still a lingering absence in the air.

 
MY UNSOLICITED LITERARY ANALYSIS OF TAYLOR SWIFT'S TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

Arriving amidst a brief hiatus from her 154-show global phenomenon The Eras Tour, Taylor Swift’s ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ annihilated streaming records within a day of release. A whopping thirty-one tracks and two hours in length (including its surprise second half, The Anthology), Tortured Poets lives up to its title in a devastating and at times astonishing fashion.

 
METAL SKIN: Worthy of Fiendish Worship?

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of disability & abuse of disabled people

 
Well-baked Fruitcake at the Butterfly Club

Fruitcake is a sweetly satisfying original play by playwright/director Jaimee Doyle that was shown as a part of the Butterfly Club’s one act play festival in March. If you made your way down an unassuming alleyway in the CBD, much like the city’s hundreds of alleyways, to the Butterfly Club’s humble entrance from the 6th to the 9th of March, you would have been treated to an immersive story about burgeoning young love and the challenges of expeditious intimacy.

 
Men vs Books: A Melbourne Writers Festival Review

Ghost Cities and Ghost Futures: A Conversation with Siang Lu and Laura Jean McKay

 
Everything Everything and The Vaccines bring English indie rock to Melbourne

I’ve probably been listening to indie rock band The Vaccines casually for almost a decade. I’m not sure how I was first introduced, meaning it was probably through the hallowed halls of Tumblr, around 2014 to 2018. On the other hand, I confess that I didn’t know of Everything Everything until earlier this year.

 
Inside Mahmoud’s Hall: Pro-Palestine Students Continue Sit-In

On Wednesday 15 May, an autonomous group of protesters involved with the Gaza Solidarity Encampment on South Lawn initiated a sit-in in Arts West following a rally that culminated in them renaming the building “Mahmoud’s Hall”.

 
“My Body Is My Home”: A Review of Neptune Henriksen’s BEING A WOMAN FOR MONEY

When I walked into The Butterfly Club at 10pm on a rainy, mid-April Wednesday, I didn’t expect to walk out both having seen an entirely naked body and experiencing a euphoric sense of utter self-acceptance.

 
Emily Henry: A FUNNY STORY That Lacks Punch

Content Warning: Mentions of emotionally abusive and absent parents. Minor plot spoilers.

 
DEAD END COLLECTIVE’s Zany New Show Speaks Far More Than Meaning into the Flesh of UNIMELB’s Theatre

Trigger/spoiler warnings: mentions of character death and intense imagery

 
Tourist Delivers Incessant Elation on the Lustrous MEMORY MORNING

The wonder of transporting to somewhere serene is ingrained into Tourist’s output. Dom Lepore does a deep dive into Memory Morning, Tourist's new album.

 
OPINION: Join the School Strike for Palestine on April 18

Crouched on the squeaky black tiles, the young faces of students screamed the same chants, united, crying for a free Palestine. This year, Students for Palestine organised national demonstrations on the 29th of February and on the 14th of March.

 
University of Melbourne staff to vote on proposed enterprise agreement tomorrow

University of Melbourne staff are set to vote on a new enterprise bargaining agreement (EBA) after negotiations between the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) Branch Committee and University management reached a breakthrough.

 
The Origin of Evil (2022): Evil takes on a new form in this moody thriller

The Origin of Evil, directed by Sébastian Marnier is an intriguing little movie. I knew, essentially, nothing about this film but I read the synopsis and it seemed like an interesting rendition of an Agatha Christie-esque whodunnit. We follow Stéphane, a woman who reunites with her estranged family. She goes to stay with them in their manor on a small French island where everybody knows everybody. But, as she reconnects with them, she discovers that not everything is as perfect as it seems.

 
Reawakening Tragedy For Healing: A Review of SURAT-SURATNYA and MAY 1998

Two plays. Two monologues. Two real stories. One truth; corrupt governments can no longer hide their sins, and memory and healing can only be done when we face the luka (luka=wound).

 
“Starry Nights, City Lights.” - A Comprehensive Review of Melbourne’s Lighting of The Tree

Recently, the Provocative Inklings (an emerging writing group aimed at writing pieces that spark thinking and a little bit of mischief!) visited Melbourne's Christmas Tree Lighting of Melbourne. But we all had a different take on what really went down... read on for our honest review of Christmas Square!

 
Angie McMahon Grows Into Herself on Latest Australian Tour

With McMahon’s new album coming up, seeing where she goes from here will be exciting. If her quiet smoothness at Northcote was anything to go by, she’ll certainly keep growing and realise her potential as a talented artist.

 
Mount Eerie Sings About Love, Death and Empty Paper Towel Rolls at Melbourne's Max Watt's

Thirty minutes later, Phil takes the stage. It’s just him, an electric guitar in his hands with a cord running back to his amp. This is how it will be the entire show.

 
FARMING IS (not) FOREVER: An Earthy Sketch-Lecture Composite

Farming is Forever bridges sketch comedy and persuasive oration to deliver an impactful message about the environmental catastrophe wrought by the agricultural industrialisation in which we are all complicit, from Gina Rinehart’s billions to your weekly shopping list.

 
Which BookTok Romance Novels are ACTUALLY Worth It?

Romance novel connoisseur Hayley sorts the trash from the treasure.

 
PINK SLIME is beyond words

As I’m trying to write up my review for Uruguayan author Fernanda Trías’ novel Pink Slime (2023), I am drawing a blank and the only words I can think of dissatisfy me: depressing, dystopian, harrowing, tragic, and heartbreaking. They are too common, too cliche to describe a book that is neither.

 
"Get Back on the Treadmill!": Actual Success and Theatrical Failure in Pony Cam’s BURNOUT PARADISE

Coming off their ‘Best in Theatre’ Fringe win last year for Grant Theft Theatre, Pony Cam’s new show Burnout Paradise amusingly harnesses their success to explore the precarity of expectation, and the porousness of actual and theatrical failure.

 
 
Marriage as Consumption in Unspooled Theatre Collective’s ANTE/MEDEA

Unspooled Theatre Collective’s ante/medea, produced by Arky Ryall and running from Oct 10 to Oct 14 as part of Melbourne Fringe 2023, delves into Medea’s psyche.

 
OPINION — VOICE TO PARLIAMENT: Vote ‘Yes’ to Fight Against the ‘Racist No’ Campaign

The right have used the Voice to Parliament referendum to promote disgusting anti-Aboriginal racism over Labor’s proposal to establish a symbolic advisory body.

 
'Irago - 이라고 - Said So': A Multifaceted Journey of Healing and Belonging

In a world constantly in flux, where our individual paths to healing seem as intricate and varied as the human experience itself, "Irago - 이라고 - Said So" emerges as a compelling exploration of closure, transformation, and community.

 
OPINION: An open letter to Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell and Dean of Arts Russell Goulbourne

Dear Prof. Duncan Maskell and Prof. Russell Goulbourne,

We are writing to you in your capacity as Vice Chancellor and Head of School to try and resolve a grievance issue in the Faculty of Arts and the University itself. We are hoping that by raising this complaint with you informally, you will be in a position to consider the best outcomes in a timely way. This is consistent with s 5.4 of the University of Melbourne Student Complaints and Grievances Policy (MPF1066).

 
“They keep having to reapply for their own job, again and again”: Why your tutors are on strike

“I’ve always loved the ideal of the university as a place of learning, as a place of new possibilities...”

Scott, a doctoral student and casual tutor in the School of Social and Political Sciences, describes witnessing the disintegration of this ideal with “growing horror”.

Despite initial misgivings in the lead-up to the Week 6 strike, his concerns over the persistence and precarity of academic work compelled him to take part.

 
Jimmy Rees' NOT THAT KINDA VIRAL is a rollercoaster of laughs

Beloved Australian entertainer Jimmy Rees, renowned for his fame on Giggle and Hoot, kicked off his Melbourne show with a blend of nostalgia, wit and infectious laughter.

 
A FLEETING GLIMPSE at Mudfest 2023 is a triumph for student theatre

I had the opportunity to witness A Fleeting Glimpse, a captivating student theatre production that delved into the intricacies of human relationships and the pursuit of personal ambitions.

 
OPINION: "You can Stop 1, but you can’t stop us all": Why your Student Services staff are on strike

You might hear that by going on strike this week, staff are causing harm to students in delaying important processes related to their education. But those of us who work in Student Services know that it’s University management who are responsible for the crisis we find ourselves in.

 
University of Melbourne staff to strike for all of Week 10

University of Melbourne staff in the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) have called a campus-wide strike next week to force further concessions in bargaining negotiations with the University.

The branch-wide strike will start with a stop-work rally at midday on Monday 2 October and run until midnight on Sunday 8 October. During this time, NTEU members will not be running classes or doing any other work, including communicating with students or planning lessons.

 
A sit-down chat with Richard Ha, UMSU International's new President

With the UMSU International elections complete, Farrago writer and subeditor Rico Sulamet sat down with the organisation's newly elected President Richard Ha to ask some questions about his plans for the year ahead.

 
A richer student experience, but for who? The discriminatory effects of abandoning dual delivery.

With the days of strict lockdowns and cautious safety measures seemingly behind us, the University of Melbourne has implemented a return to full on-campus learning for all undergraduate and most postgraduate courses.

For many students, however, this is still not possible; they have spoken out about the difficulties of returning to campus, and their need for online teaching options.

 
The American private equity giant buying up our local pubs

Have you noticed that something hasn’t quite been the same about your favourite pubs since the pandemic? Perhaps the pints are costlier, the menu has changed, the staff’s smiles appear forced and there’s a certain soulless swankiness pervading the room? Chances are that the pub has been quietly snapped up by new owners.

 
Normalisation of Unpaid Trials: How Melbourne’s Casual Job Market Exploits International Students

Shivani, 21, moved from India six months ago. In April, she was called in for her first casual job at a kebab joint on Flinders Street.

The marketing graduate was asked by the owner to do 12 hours of unpaid trial shifts before being potentially hired at $18 per hour—$3.38 below the minimum wage then.

 
Daniel Andrews Resigns as Victorian Premier

Daniel Andrews will step down as Victorian premier effective tomorrow afternoon, resigning from parliament after nearly a decade in power.

In a surprise press conference on Tuesday, flanked by his ministerial colleagues, Andrews said that his decision to leave parliament had crystallised only recently, explaining that the demanding nature of his job had taken a toll on his wellbeing.

 
Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss: 2023 UMSU Elections, Explained

Preliminary results for the 2023 UMSU Elections are in, and we now have a good idea of what the union will look like for the next twelve months. Spoiler alert: not much has changed.

 
2023 UMSU Election Results Live

Check back throughout the night for the results of this year's UMSU elections!

 
2023 UMSU General Election Guide

Your guide to the 2023 UMSU General Election is here! Read all about the candidates and their vision for your student union in 2024. Check your student email for your voting link, and don't forget to cast your vote during election week, 4-8 September 2023.

 
On Dreading Netflix's Upcoming Depp v. Heard Documentary

A few weeks ago, Netflix announced its new documentary, Depp vs. Heard, set to premiere later this month. The promises made were lofty: to re-examine the trial, to analyze the mass hysteria it provoked online, and more philosophically, to “question the nature of truth and the role it plays in our modern society”, whatever the fuck that means. Upon seeing the trailer, which I could barely get through, all I could think was: Oh God, not again.

 
Equitable Contraceptive Responsibility: Pioneering Gender-Neutral Contraceptive Solutions

If it takes two to tango, why does only one have to suffer? There should be more safe and effective methods available for men so that we can all equitably share the contraceptive responsibility.

 
Budgeting Bootcamp: A Student’s Guide to Mindful Spending

What justifies inadequate dedication of thought to important commitments? Must you stand atop a mountain of communicable wealth? Or perhaps, on the flip side, be a naked soul—a literal naked being without offerings that might interest the common human?

 
Bimbofying the Inner West: VIGILANTONIE at Mamma Chen’s 11/08

Vigilantonie probably isn’t going to get us out of the cost-of-living crisis, but at least she gives you something fun to listen to while you’re waiting for your Centrelink to come through.

 
FRANCES HA 10 years later: perhaps there is much more to adulthood.

As the Barbie (2023) wave swept over Australia, ACMI’s tribute to its director Greta Gerwig’s remarkable career from her early mumblecore indie days feels almost nostalgic while offering a refreshing perspective.

 
Beauty Myth-Busting in MONUMENT at Red Stitch

Developed through the INK playwright program and now in its world premiere season at Red Stitch Actors’ Theatre in St Kilda, Monument documents the strictly 90-minute appointment between PM Edith (Sarah Sutherland) and make-up artist Rosie (Julia Hanna) in real-time as they prepare for Edith’s acceptance speech, her first public appearance as leader of the country.

 
GUYS AND DOLLS by Antipodes Theatre: a revival of the classic musical with a modern tweak

Broadway’s classic musical Guys and Dolls (1950) gets a delightful and immaculate revival in this production by the Antipodes Theatre Company.

 
“We’ve botched this campaign”—NUS calls for a student led 'Yes' campaign in Voice referendum

The National Union of Students (NUS) is calling for a more grassroots approach to the ‘Yes’ campaign for an Indigenous Voice to Parliament after a heated debate at June's Education Conference (EdCon) forced Labor students to concede that the party “[has] botched this campaign.”

 
Sony's GRAN TURISMO Movie Fails to Make it Across the Finish Line

With David Harbour, Orlando Bloom and Archie Madekwe taking on the roles of Jack Salter, Danny Moore and Jann Mardenborough respectively, the movie, on paper, looks pretty good. However, much to my disappointment, it did not deliver a satisfying story with nail-biting racing sequences that the countless trailers and promotional materials had promised. Instead, the movie was filled with choppy editing, horrible pacing and questionable dialogue.

 
COPENHAGEN DOES NOT EXIST Another Tired Tale of Male Gaze Surveillance

While no doubt dripping in intrigue, Copenhagen Does Not Exist (2023) attempts to spin a retelling of the story of a missing mysterious girl, but results in a finished product that is best described as an unintentional fulfilment of Mulvey’s theory.

 
The Coquette: Reclamation or Self-Fetishisation?

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

 
MTC Musical BLOOM Shines a Light on the Struggles and Triumphs of Aged Care

From its poignant premise and exceptional portrayal of characters by a talented ensemble to its evocative lighting design, Bloom has captured hearts and minds and, hopefully, sparked conversations about the challenges faced by seniors in our society.

 
Union House to become new Science Building; six buildings to be demolished in new Estate Master Plan

Union House is set to become a new Science Building and several Faculty of Arts and FMDHS buildings will be redeveloped amongst sweeping changes announced in the University of Melbourne's Estate Master Plan.

 
LADY BIRD at ACMI: There's Just Something About Greta Gerwig

Gerwig’s solo directorial debut Lady Bird has become more or less a staple for contemporary indie cinema. It's a comedy-drama with all the classic coming-of-age tropes–jealousy and conformity, awkward sexual firsts and existential dread–that Gerwig makes so distinctively hers.

 
Notice of Election: UMSU Annual General Election, 4th–8th September 2023

Notice is hereby given of the 2023 University of Melbourne Student Union annual student election. This is your chance to help shape the future of the Student Union!

 
THE COLLECTED REGRETS OF CLOVER: : A heartwarming read perfect for cooler weather

The Collected Regrets of Clover follows Clover Brooks, a death doula, as she lives in her late grandfather’s apartment in the bustling city of New York—the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. She’s been dealt a brutal set of cards: her parents passed away when she was just six and her grandfather, who had taken on the role of her parents, passed away when she was older. Death, as is expected, has permeated every aspect of her life.

 
Unveiling the Layers of Batman's Hill and Melbourne's Urban History

While doing the Melbourne Urban History subject this February, one site, Batman’s Hill, caught my attention. It is a site that has floated in and out of Melbourne’s urban consciousness since colonisation. The various activities, narratives and interpretations associated with Batman's Hill shed light on its historical use, its role in the commemoration of John Batman and its appropriation by urban planners in the Docklands precinct.

 
NUS joins EROC, Fair Agenda to call for national taskforce to prevent sexual assault on campus

The National Union of Students (NUS) has joined with sexual harm advocacy groups End Rape on Campus (EROC) and Fair Agenda to call for an independent taskforce to address universities’ failures to prevent sexual assault and sexual harassment (SASH) on campus.

 
Chey Jordan Talks Gigs, Growth and His New Single 'narcissist'

Radio Fodder's Olivia Ryan catches up with indie artist Chey Jordan in support of their first Melbourne gig & new single 'narcissist'.

 
A Compelling New Production of Michael Gow’s AWAY at Theatre Works

Away at Theatre Works is both moving and, at times, muddled. The play’s fractured final sequence moves rapidly from holiday destination to Meg’s classroom for the new school year, forfeiting some narrative conclusions. However, Stephen Tall’s powerful operatic voice and a striking tableau provide a strong culmination, vindicating this poignant production.

 
Live, Love, Laufey: A Fun Night of Jazz Serenade

With tickets selling out minutes after going on sale, it’s safe to say there were more than a few excited guests for singer/songwriter Laufey’s (pronounced ‘lay-vay’) debut tour of Australia. Having her first single reach #1 on Icelandic Radio at only 21 years of age, this budding ‘jazz pop’ artist recently held two concerts in Melbourne, and I was among 75 or so lucky ticket holders.

 
HEAR MY EYES take GOOD TIME to another level at RISING

The Safdie Brothers’ bank heist-gone-wrong film Good Time, the latest edition to the HEAR MY EYES performance series and part of Melbourne’s RISING Festival, is transformed into an all-encompassing experience of the senses with a new soundtrack performed live by Big Yawn and Teether.

 
"I am merely a disciple of her gospel": Weyes Blood at RISING

“Last time I was here, it was March 2020” says Weyes Blood (Natalie Laura Melling) to the crowd that Thursday night. A chuckle from the audience follows this–in recognition, mostly–as she shared how she would wash her hands and face multiple times a day to avoid getting sick. She responds with deadpan delivery, “I guess you could say a lot has changed”. Her 2019 song from her album Titanic Rising, ‘A Lot’s Gonna Change’ starts playing, with a cheer from the audience.

 
DAYDREAM: The Future of Australian Indie Music?

Australia isn’t exactly an indie rock capital. For us, indie rock evokes one of two images: skinny dudes with long hair trying for some spacey Tame Impala-esque psychedelia or private school kids in wife-beaters playing up their Australian accents for pub-rock anthems. Daydream is here to offer an alternative vision of what Australian indie can be.

 
Great Songs, Alright Execution: Winnie Lane Launch OZONE at the Bergy Bandroom

Melbourne-bred indie rock band Winnie Lane make headlines in the Bergy Bandroom! This indie band sought to redefine themselves after a change in band members  and allowed audiences on the night of the 8th of June to experience a never-heard EP for the first time.

 
Farrago’s Must-Watch Anime of the Summer: A Season of 2nd Seasons

As the northern hemisphere starts getting hotter, a new season of anime is about to be released. Welcome to Farrago’s Must-watch Anime of the 2023 Summer Season! This is a list of some of the upcoming anime coming this season, which ones you should watch or which ones to avoid. These are just my opinions and they definitely hold the absolute truth.

 
Writing Back to Music: Interview with Eddie Ink on new ‘Daydream’ album and celebration of sobriety.

Harrison interviews Eddie Ink on his latest classic blues album 'Daydream at Nightime', a celebration of his sobriety and the organisations "which caters for people on the edges of society".

 
EUPHORIA is Entertaining, But Fails to Reach a High

Ultimately though, it can’t be denied that Euphoria is a beautifully crafted work. Sure, it’s probably not going to start a revolution anytime soon but I still enjoyed being drawn into the meandering conversations of its characters and listening to its musical offerings. Its attempts to undermine capitalist ideology is certainly admirable but in the end, I just cannot shake the feeling that it can’t put its money where its mouth is.

 
SATYAGRAHA: An Emotional Truth Lacking the Right Force

Satyagraha (“The Truth Force”) was held as a one-night exclusive opera performance at Hamer Hall on Saturday 13 May. Curated by influential composer Phillip Glass and supported by a star-studded cast, including Indian-born tenor Shanul Sharma as Gandhi, high expectations were set for this opera from the very first brochure advert. For my first opera experience, I went in blind, with limited expectations.

 
The Writers Strike: What is it and What it Means for You

On the 1st of May 2023, which also happens to be international labour holiday May Day, the Writers Guild of America (WGA) announced a strike.

“We have not reached an agreement with the studios and streamers. We will be on strike after the contract expires at midnight,” the WGA announced.

 
Hearth Theatre and the Lasting Relevance of DEATH OF A SALESMAN

Hearth Theatre does an incredible job in retelling one of the most important plays of the 20th century–a play where, given the cost of living and inflation affecting us all in the modern day, the notion that we are “worth more dead than alive” has never been more unsettlingly fitting.

 
Not Easy Being Teens: Moth Soars at Theatreworks

Two-hander productions demand a lot from their performers. They’ve got to be able to play a variety of characters, keep the audience’s attention, give 100% without a single break. After seeing the show however, I can think of no two actors more up to this task than Noviello and Ansell, who demonstrate a skilful balance of pathos and comedy in their respective roles.

 
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is Overwhelmingly and Absurdly Fun

The game is, above all, fun to play. Because the world is so open, every player is going to have a different experience with the game, so you might as well have fun with whatever the game throws your way. Why worry about playing “correctly” when you can lose yourself in the ridiculousness of the world of Zelda?

 
"Did you know that Liam Neeson pees his pants a lot?": DAN CROWLEY at MICF

Dan Crowley’s debut show Fantastic. Great Move. Well Done, Dan (FGMWDD) at the 2023 Melbourne Comedy Festival skirted the lines of farce and satire, refusing to easily reconcile itself.

 
Seven suspended, but no action on clubs or colleges: UniMelb 2022 Sexual Misconduct Report released

The University of Melbourne has released their 2022 Sexual Misconduct Report, revealing that four staff members have been removed from the University after being found to have committed serious misconduct, but the report remains absent of any actions to combat sexual assault in clubs and residential colleges.

 
Three months on from the Türkiye-Syria earthquakes, communities are still reeling.

On February 6, a powerful 7.8 magnitude earthquake hit southeast Türkiye and northwest Syria, resulting in over 50,000 deaths, 130,000 injured, and millions displaced in a sub-zero winter. A fortnight later, a third 6.4 magnitude earthquake struck, resulting in an additional 308 casualties. Three months later, the situation remains dire.

 
Black metal shoegazers Deafheaven playing Melbourne’s Max Watt’s in May

Blackgaze heavyweights Deafheaven are returning to Australia for the first time in over four years for a national tour of our major cities, including two Melbourne headliners at Max Watt’s on May 31 and June 1.

 
“It has felt deliberately slow”: UniMelb staff strike for secure work, fair pay as bargaining stalls

Hundreds of staff from the University of Melbourne walked off the job for a half-day strike last Wednesday, calling for better pay and job security amid protracted negotiations over a new employment contract.

 
A Fantasy Romance, Minus The Romance: THE ISLES OF THE GODS Review

When I first picked up this book, it’s safe to say that the blurb had me expecting a YA romance like never before, set in a fantasy world filled with action scenes and displays of magic that would awe. What I ended up getting, however, was a lukewarm romance (at best) and action scenes that, while fast-paced and intriguing at times, were watered down by bad pacing and a lack of build up.

 
Lara Ricote’s ‘GRL/LATNX/DEF’ is Wild, Shocking and an Absolute Must

Lara Ricote’s latest show, ‘GRL/LATNX/DEF’, is an absolute comedic marvel. Describing her show as one for people who can relate to being hard of hearing (“in the ears mostly”), Latinx or just anyone “who is or knows a girl,” Lara manages to masterfully cover all bases, delivering a show that is somehow incredibly niche but capable of making a diverse audience laugh uncontrollably as she sings about ovarian cysts, kidney theft and “stupid” younger siblings.

 
One Little Thing Can Go Wrong… Sally McKenzie’s WAY Shows You How

WAY, written and performed by Sally McKenzie, is a thought-provoking piece in its use of live performance, video, and audio elements. I wasn’t expecting the screen to compliment the performance so well.

 
“Online Self-Paid Internships”: a Springboard Or a Trap?

Once again, it’s time for Heng Xu, a Chinese international student studying at the Australian National University, to remind her internship supervisor to send her feedback about the work she submitted three days ago.

 
NTEU Staff Strike – Show Your Support!

At 11am tomorrow, Wednesday 3rd May, hundreds of University of Melbourne staff will be walking off the job to demand job security and a pay rise to keep up with the rising cost of living. UMSU supports this action and encourages students to join in the strike by not going to class. Students should instead attend the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) rally.

 
OPINION: High Rents, Low Wages: Fight against the cost of living crisis!

Workers and students are facing a colossal cost of living crisis. While the official rate of inflation is 7%, the rising costs of essential items are much higher. Staple foods like cereals are up by 12%, and dairy is up a staggering 15%. The housing crisis makes this much worse; a whopping 331,000 households are in rental stress, and unit rents in capital cities have skyrocketed by 22% in just the past year.

 
Mainstream Pop: The Gatekeeping of Sexual Desire

A Case Study on Sam Smith’s ‘I’m Not Here to Make Friends’

 
Chinese international students continue online studies despite government ban

Recently returned Chinese international students are choosing to continue their studies online, over concerns about their level of in-person English proficiency. This is despite the Chinese Government's announcement in January it would no longer recognise foreign qualifications completed virtually.

 
Ben Stevenson's RATBAG: A MICF Meditation on Losing Those Who Shaped You

Ratbag is a show about Stevenson’s late mother, who seems to be what I can only describe as a wonderful and complex woman, and that is a testament to Stevenson’s performance and comedy. Stevenson uses the formula of dropping a shocking revelation a quarter into his show in an attempt to add gravity to the jokes made earlier and to provide depth to the rest of the show. Few can do this well, but Stevenson made this his own in what can only be a bravo.

 
Late penalties banned as UniMelb NTEU begins industrial action

The National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) has today taken the first steps in a campaign of protected industrial action against the University of Melbourne, initiating a ban on members applying late submission penalties to their students’ work.

 
Hannah Camilleri’s Assorted Sweet Treats: LOLLY BAG a sketch stand-out (not stand-up) at MICF

Though she darts occasionally into the wings to retrieve a wig or dressing gown, Camilleri fearlessly transitions between characters in plain view of the audience with the quick addition or subtraction of a jumper, a moustache, a hat, etc. This regression to elementary stagecraft will remind you of the dress-up box at home, but it’s all the material needed by a comic who has mastered solo stage performance.

 
Geelong Gallery Host the Work of Australian Art Great Clarice Beckett in New Exhibition ATMOSPHERE

Although Atmosphere is Clarice Beckett’s first major public exhibition held in the Geelong Gallery, her name is synonymous with the understanding of modernism in Australian art. I didn’t know any of this going into the exhibition but I came out a lot more knowledgeable about this history.

 
MFF PayPal Pay in 4 Closing Runway: An Inclusive Runway, But Not Really

To put it simply, the show was well-done in both curation and execution, but this one oversight has definitely soured the show for many (myself included).

 
Burton Brothers thrill with a taste of Vegas

Delight and incredulity may well describe the show as a whole. Vegas Residency is costumed as a show about two brothers at Vegas; at its heart shines all the fun and creativity of local theatre, delivering borderline absurdist moments and a whole lot of joy.

 
Silly Sketch Comedy is Alive in Brendan Wan’s Yummy Yummy Cha Cha

The advertising copy promises that “if you're looking for political satire, cathartic comedy about the Chinese-Australian experience or observations on modern life – this is not the show.” And it isn’t! Wan, who has previously appeared across broadcast radio and television, delivered an hour of sketch-PowerPoint-musical comedy where he slipped between personas with ease.

 
Notice of By-Election

Notice is hereby given that nominations will open at 12 noon on Monday April 3, for the following positions:

Indigenous Representative on Student Council
Southbank Campus Representative on Student Council
Members of Indigenous Committee (5 positions)
Southbank Campus Committee (3 positions)
Burnley Campus Committee (3 positions

 
Aiden Willcox and Isaac Haigh Deliver Hysterical Jazz Tunes and Mummy Issues in Latest MICF Show

'Songs from the Heart in the Hole of my Bottom' is painfully funny, so funny that moments of awkwardness in which you are usually the only one left laughing are eradicated, because the whole audience is similarly struggling to break free from the frenzy.

 
Pageant Legends The Beryls Dazzle in Latest MICF Show 'Cattle Call'

It may be a “silly little show”, but it has the audience effortlessly under its spell from the outset; a spell that doesn’t break at any point throughout their hour-long set, even as we’re standing together singing a ballad from the perspective of “decrepit old nuns.”

 
Gabbi Bolt Delights with Bright, Oddball Comedy 'Odd Sock' at MICF

But taking my seat and watching as a brightly coloured Gabbi Bolt stumbled through the curtains before taking a seat behind her electric piano and declaring herself “fucking unhinged,” I knew I was in for a fun 60 minutes.

 
 
Urban Oasis: The MFF's Celebration of Multiculturalism

The Urban Oasis runway was a standout during the fourth day of the PayPal Melbourne Fashion Festival (MFF). Being the spotlight show of the night, it assembled a remarkable cast of leading and emerging First Nations designers. From newly established brands to fashion mainstays, everything was truly a celebration of distinctive Australian talent.

 
Mystery in a Blimp and Elsewhere: Mysterious and Marvellous Meta-Theatre

“Where the fuck am I?” is the first mystery of Mystery in a Blimp and the first words Hershall (Gabriel Partington) utters when he awakes in the Bluestone Church Arts Space. The answer is simple this time, but don’t settle down–you will be asking yourself “Where the fuck am I?” many times in the 80 minutes to come.

 
OPINION: Melbourne Student Forum must amplify student voices, not undermine them.
A purple graphic with hands holding thought and speech bubbles. The words "UMSU ASSEMBLIES" and "BY

The University of Melbourne has announced the establishment of a new Melbourne Student Forum (MSF), which is intended to be a focus group that will listen to student voices. However, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) has expressed concern about the MSF and its potential impact on student representation and democracy at the University.

 
Western Australia set to review public university structure
A photo of the University of Western Australia's Student Hub building. It has a glass base and latti

The Western Australian state government will conduct an independent review into the state’s universities to “consider how structural change could strengthen the local university sector and delivery for students,” reopening debates around a potential merger of the state’s universities.

 
“Women’s rights are human rights”: Iranian women fight on for International Women’s Day campus rally
Two women stand in the centre of the image holding signs that say "WOMEN'S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS"

Protesters gathered at South Lawn in support of Iranian women on International Women’s Day on Wednesday March 8, as part of a larger global “Campus Rally for Iran.”

 
"Politically motivated intimidation": Bail conditions removed after midnight raid on UNSW activist
Cherish Kuehlmann stands in the middle of a street as a female police officer arrests her. A police

UNSW Education Officer Cherish Kuehlmann has accused NSW Police of using “politically motivated intimidation” tactics after her restrictive bail conditions on a charge of aggravated trespass were overturned by the court.

 
Separating the 'Tár' from the Tár-tist… and vice versa

Wildly successful orchestra conductor Lydia Tár (played by Cate Blanchett)’s life falls apart when a woman she presumably had a romantic relationship with—then blacklisted from the industry—commits suicide, and abuse of power accusations cascade. Tár (2023), directed by Todd Field, is a character study that morphs into a psychological thriller, exploring what happens to a woman defined by her art form when the industry turns its back on her.

 
Notes on a Scandal: Conversations and Reflections on Gary Newman’s 'The State of the Union'

'The State of the Union' is a fascinating dive into the insular world of student politics by covering the 2003 student election at the University of Melbourne, one of Australia's most prestigious universities. Twenty years on from when the documentary was released, it remains a testament to what happens when politics gets ugly. If one was to compare it to the contemporary world of student politics, one can't help but wonder how much has changed.

 
Sex, Scarecrows and Stardom: Mia Goth Proves She Really Is “a Star” in Ti West’s Latest Film, Pearl

The film therefore serves as the remedy for Pearl’s unfulfilled aspirations, a manifestation of the powerful stage presence she never got the opportunity to showcase, shedding light on a slasher villain who will go on to define the genre through a performance that will likely, in turn, define Goth’s career.

 
All Style & No Substance: MFF'S Power Runway Missing that Spark

International Women’s Day is a recognition of the power possessed by all women, not just those that wear sparkly dresses.

 
OPINION: The climate is getting worse. Join the climate strike on March 17!
A pink banner with the words 'National Climate Strike, UniMelb Contingent, 12:30PM March 17 South La

Join the Melbourne Uni contingent to the national climate strike - 12:30pm Friday March 17 @ South Lawn, Parkville campus.

 
Living (2022) is lovingly sentimental–if familiar

Living is lovingly sentimental–in its performances, as well as the themes and messaging that existed in Ikiru. It would have been a feat not to do a remake well. But Living is unfortunately too safe and doesn't dare to push far enough beyond its distinctive Britishness to stand alone. It is too neat and smooth to delve into the messy reality of human existence tackled by the original. It is simply the British Ikiru and, as lovely as that is, it is all it ever can be.

 
Oscars 2023 Deep Dive: Predictions & Picks for the 95th Annual Academy Awards

The 2023 Oscars will hit our screens at 1pm (AEST) on Monday the 13th of March! In this deep dive, I’ll take you through the context and characters populating each category, who missed out, who’s predicted to win, who I think should win, and some outside films and performances that weren’t nominated but probably should have been (if the Academy were a little more adventurous).

 
I’ve stopped drinking at 20, and it upsets everyone around me

There’s no doubt that alcohol is at the centre of our social lives, especially for young people. Catching up with someone involves “going out for a drink”, the end of the week calls for “Friday drink trolley”, and most celebrations include champagne or big nights out. So when I stopped drinking 6 months ago, I was prepared for a change in the way I engaged in social environments. What I wasn’t prepared for was a change in the way everyone around me behaved.

 
Night Ride (2020): Oscar Nominee for Best Short Sends a Good but Patronising Message

In places where strangers congregate, like on a tram, it’s easy to dismiss others as stand-ins, mere figures who happen to be standing around us. But what do we do when these strangers need a connection? What happens when bystanders just stand by when someone is in need?

Night Ride, directed by Eirik Tveiten, poses this question to the audience.

 
My Year of Dicks (2022): A Rare Moment of Sincerity

My Year of Dicks is unabashed in its use of cliche that it creates something wholly original, a film brimming with sincere love for its form. It is a rare diamond in a trough of pessimism that you cannot help but hold dearly in your heart.

 
In Missing (2023), the Camera Sees Everything

Missing (2023), the standalone sequel to Searching (2018), takes the current society's roadblocks for thrillers (connectivity, technology, high-tech security) and uses them as the main plot device to hammer home the lack of privacy in our world: FaceTime screens idle on the laptop, smart watches, Ring doorbells and CCTV cameras to live feeds of popular tourist spots.

 
Melbourne's Jim Alxndr on new EP ‘Feels Worth Living For’ & life's nuances told through music

Radio Fodder speaks to Melburnian indie artist Jim Alxndr in support of his latest record 'Feels Worth Living For', his creative process and how it's a "reminder that life is cooked and amazing and just so rich”.

 
The modern-day classroom: A recipe for solitude

Traveling a million miles to study in another country alone is hard. What’s harder is adapting to a dying classroom culture when easy, effortless, and abundant friendships are the only thing you need to get through it.

 
Review: The Mousetrap, at Comedy Theatre

Indeed, it is easy to forget about worldwide disaster once you are in the grip of a classic murder mystery, no matter how typical the “whodunnit” formula becomes.

 
Universities unlikely to be prosecuted under Victorian wage theft laws

Although Victoria’s first criminal case of wage theft is set to be heard in February, experts say tertiary institutions are unlikely to be criminally prosecuted under the state’s recently legislated Wage Theft Act. Selina Zhang reports.

 
Netflix Lighting and the Death of the Director in 'Wednesday'

There aren’t a lot of directors’ styles that someone who only casually engages with film will recognise more than Tim Burton. There is a lot to critique about his work—especially his casting choices—but there is no doubt when people describe a Tim Burton film as a “Tim Burton film”, that they are accidentally leaning into auteur discourse.

 
Hidden Gems & Summer Surprise: A Playlist of Radio Fodder’s Top Summer Releases

For Radio Fodder's debut playlist for 2023, here are the hidden gems of the summer that still take us by surprise.

 
Review: ‘Virginia’ at La Mama HQ

Showing at La Mama HQ from the 14th to the 26th of February is acclaimed Irish writer Edna O’Brien’s Virginia, a compelling portrait of the intimate life of modernist author Virginia Woolf (Heather Lythe).

 
Fair Work Ombudsman takes UniMelb to court for alleged underpayment, “serious contraventions” of en

The Fair Work Ombudsman (FWO) has initiated fresh legal action against the University of Melbourne over the alleged underpayment of casual staff in the Faculty of Arts. Joel Duggan and Elizabeth Browne report.

 
Fair Work Ombudsman takes UniMelb to court for alleged underpayment, “serious contraventions.”

The Fair Work Ombudsman (FWO) has initiated fresh legal action against the University of Melbourne over the alleged underpayment of casual staff in the Faculty of Arts and the creation of false or misleading records. Joel Duggan and Elizabeth Browne report.

 
Who's who in the stupol zoo? NatCon '22: Explained

For the next four days, Josh Davis and Joel Duggan will be bringing you all the shouting, scabbing, and paper-scoffing from the conference floor, all the way out in the idyllic suburban paradise of Waurn Ponds.

 
From Tumblr to TikTok: a Reckoning with Toxic Trends

Picture this, it’s 2014, and you’ve just turned thirteen. You’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of teen YouTuber content. You binge-watch Bethany Mota and Meredith Foster when their usernames were still Macbarbie07 and StilaBabe09, and are convinced that a can of chalkboard paint and a hoard of EOS lip balms would solve all your pre-teen problems.

 
The Psychology Behind Procrastination

Why do you always leave your assignment to the last minute even though you promised yourself you wouldn't do that again? It's 10 am, and you have a massive assignment due at 11.59 pm that night. Have you started? Well, no, not yet, anyway.

 
Why does PTV hate students?

One of the big policies at this year’s student elections was a promise to expand the free tram zone, championed by the Rebuild ticket. It was an ambitious proposal that raised eyebrows and raised questions (namely, “how do you plan to do that?”), but it got at something that students care about: the fact that our public transport system does not work for us.

 
Studio Ghibli: Retrofuturism and the Technological Sublime

For a Japanese animation studio that has mastered the art of wholehearted storytelling in children’s films, Studio Ghibli has never refrained from exploring socio-political ideology in its films. Themes such as ecology, feminism, cohabitation, religion, war, and capitalism frequently appear in several films such as Ponyo, The Tale of Princess Kaguya, Spirited Away, Whisper of the Heart, Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, My Neighbour Totoro and many more.

 
That Last Neon Night
Two faces at the top and bottom of the page, trailing duplicate heads and shooting out red lines.

The pink, spherical Neon Galactic was in a dim rest stage at the moment, and hung, low and shallow, in the sky.

 
Cults on Campus: How They’re Targeting Students
A spindly, long-fingered purple hand reaches towards the shoulder of a person in a green jumper.

Running into cults isn’t uncommon in Melbourne.

 
The Reel Life Assessment
A vibrant cartoon illustration of two crying friends, a test paper between them breaking to pieces,

You fill in the blanks with your best friend’s complete name—written repeatedly over grade school friendship slam books.

 
The Woman in the Well
A woman in a grubby blue dress, submerged in water, half smiles from the bottom of a stone well.

Time stops passing like it does in the outside world and instead sort of hangs in the air, stale and inert.

 
micro city
A row of distorted grey faceless people on a street before green trams and purple city buildings.

People with multicoloured veins and swollen bellies sleep on the streets, recover from back-alley surgeries in gutters.

 
The Creature in the Thicket
A silver mermaid, submerged in dark water, faces an enchanted clearing among trees and weeds.

She blinks away frantic winged water boatmen. Their dead, waterlogged bodies litter the surface like jewels.

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition Six 2022
Abstract blue-and-black lines and shapes surround the playful bubble text 'satire in brief'.

Progressive Arts Student Suddenly a Devout Monarchist Right Before Their Assessment Due Date

 
Flash Fiction Edition Six: Nostalgia
An ink-pen-sketched person sits and looks into an abstract haze of fluorescent warm colours.

blockbuster became liquorland / asphalt corner grew up / it doesn’t know i still have a child inside

 
angel sonnet
An old television emits a purple substance into the air, through which fall blue-orange people.

rollercoaster rides through sparkling / synths sounding there’s a big black sky / over my town

 
The Exhibit Must Be Cleaned On Sunday
A marble statue which, from the upper torso, turns to a woman, arms above a flower-crowned head.

my pearled gaze / will watch that haze mark the soul / will watch it puncture
thirty hollow men

 
Give Up, the Ghost
A person with long hair and a dress reaches towards a childlike creature in an oversized jacket.

“A move from the first house to the twelfth.” He paused to read. “If you acquiesce, you’ll have strange times.”

 
A Grave for Smoke and Mirrors
An outlined transparent child sits before a hazy grey empty fireplace in a dark room.

So I write this elegy not / for them; / but for the spaces left in the dust on my mantelpiece

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: Jamming and Vibing Ourselves out of a Sticky Situation
A pattern of liquid-like hot pink and orange ghost shapes, layered with white fruits and stars.

Witch jail sure gets boring. Fortunately I will be released soon—but not before they take my ability to do magic!

 
the little prince
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's Little Prince sits atop a glowing grey moon, surrounded by stars.

i imagine the patter will sound like a baptism. / or at least, it will sound.

 
wishing on a plucked eyelash
The side of a large, gnarled green tree with a swing hanging from it, surrounded by bright stars.

can you still remember / when we all stepped / in, and left our / shoes be- / hind / ?

 
lethe
A child with long purple hair leans against a tree, holding a teddy bear, surrounded by stars.

she liked to make me dance / led me soapy / to the balcony / i grew up thankful, violet-haired

 
<b>glowstick</b>
A glowing green jaw clamps on a hand, surrounded by red and blue barbed wire, bubbles and fish.

the marrow vibrates verbena, neon pink, the cast of sickly skyscrapers and long drives during witching hour.

 
A W.I.P. Around the Workshop: Character voice, style, and points of view
Three pairs of eyes, becoming gradually larger, containing images of water, people and hands.

How do we as writers create a character’s voice that is interesting and engaging, relatable and likeable?

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition Five 2022
A watercolour painting of colourful, outlined, overlapping shapes, splodges and flowers.

Twitter Realises That Elon Musk Is Actually That One Flaky Friend We All Have

 
Solace, Solange
A pastel drawing of a bed, a lamp, and two entangled blue silhouetted bodies at the edge of a sea.

My breast is wet / with wine and droops / like a greyhound’s tongue / The nipple expectant as / pursed lips

 
at the edge of memory
A lone house, two petrol pumps, a smoking car and a few scattered sheep before a purple-grey sky.

a gentle woodsmoke trails to / where the grass is frozen silver / at the edge of memory / on the edge of town

 
January 26th
Two tall trees with a red ribbon tied to a branch, before a grey-blue sky, wattle at their feet.

I am from yelling, barking, laughing / I am from european birch outside my window / I am from stiff wool skirt

 
North of the Swan

There’s a duality to conversation around that Country; a space imagined as both sublime, and ugly.

 
Mercutio
Outlines of thorny vines on a dark background. An arrow pokes through, dripping blood.

But I would deify the wanton flesh / And drink the carnal poison to avoid / The cherub’s arrow pointed at my chest.

 
Femme Fatale
An outstretched hand on red silk, clutching a string of pearls coming loose and dripping blood.

A charlatan’s promise: a tongue edged with rust / has a way with its words that bewitches the mind.

 
I woke up with vertigo, and now I can't get up
A vivid, swirling collage: a hand with red-blue nails, spilling pink liquid, broken car parts.

twirling of colours of / red and blue and black and blue / aurora would weep if she saw this

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales from Late-Stage Hospitality—The Dying Venue
A close-up drawing of a bar, with rows of bottles and two staff members standing and smoking.

She often wondered at what point the owner would concede. The place had mortal wounds and it was simply a matter of time.

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: The Future Is Yours, the Future Is Cheese
Five polaroid pictures on a string: a cheese platter, cemetery, broomstick, cauldron, and owl.

Time for cheese to truly do its thing! I am now going to show y’all how to do the impossible: stop time.

 
ana/tomise
Two pairs of lips glow red in the dark. A bottom lip meets another’s upper lip, producing sparks.

god is pretty god is a real hunk / dressed in all black / god thinks i’m sexy i know it / like / bitter sugar burn

 
monday morning
A person with pink and blue clothes on a black-and-white city street, a red bus on the road.

blue wells– / a billion hues / I know you, without knowing you.

 
Snowdrop
Snow falls on a small bush and a wheel leaning against the base of a tree before a grey brick wall.

Winter is here. / Waifs and mudlarks turn angels in the snow, so / Our little joke goes.

 
Lustrous
A bright light shines out from behind a purple curtain. On the right wall are pink crucifixes.

When lustre dripped / from my fingers / they blanched like it was blood.

 
Bitter Preserved
A pattern of shiny lemons with protruding ends, leaves wedged between them.

I felt as though there were tens of rows of nipples staring out from the shelf by my right ear.

 
Ordinary Phenomena: Mosquito Bites
A bright pink cartoon car on a hill under a pink night sky. To the left are text icons with emojis.

He’s a handsome thing, with a glowing smile that softens his sharper, more intimidating edges.

 
Don’t Go Down to the Basement: Why We Shouldn’t Enjoy Horror… and Why We Do Anyway
A sketch of a scared person with monsters under their bed, and cobwebs and ghosts in their room.

Writing horror represents a mastery of controlling and releasing tension.

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition Four 2022
A waving cartoon cactus wearing a broad-brimmed hat, red bandana, and red glasses.

Vegan Destroys Entire Democratic System by Refusing Democracy Sausage

 
One-Sentence Westerns
A bright pink horse with a blue mane before a purple sunset. Its smiling rider wears a pink hat.

She rode off into the sunset: just a girl and her horse, and a saddlebag full of gold.

 
Flash Fiction Edition Four: Redemption
A femme person on a white horse, seen from the back, in a desert scene under a soft sunset.

I am the cowboy, the not-so-lone ranger marching through the smoke, triggered by intuition, my personal firing range.

 
Farrago State Election Policy Comparisons #5: Arts and Events

What do the parties and candidates say about arts and events in Victoria?

 
Farrago State Election Policy Comparisons #4: Policing and Legal Reform

What do the parties and candidates say about policing and legal reform in Victoria?

 
Farrago State Election Policy Comparisons #3: Housing

What do the parties and candidates say about housing in Victoria?

 
State Electorate Profile: Melton

Dominique Jones gives you the rundown on one of the most interesting contests in this election.

 
Farrago State Election Policy Comparisons #2: Energy

What do the parties and candidates say about energy in Victoria?

 
The Running Inn

He was staying alone at the inn for two more nights. The waitress was rushed and mistook his calmness for arrogance.

 
These Hands
A pattern of plants, feathers, and two hands, one with fingers closing in and one reaching out.

with the palm reader lines / surging upwards with vitality, / landing on half-moons that / disappear when pressed.

 
Melbourne Gardens: Haiku Series
Coloured drawing of three small, plucked native Australian plants floating across the page.

Dewy fractals spill / from stone-white cherubine mouths, / fall gently downwards.

 
Eulogy
Pink cowboy boots kick up from the bottom of the image, framed by cut ropes and pastel splashes.

the awkward dawn stretch. / the minute before when / he ain’t a man, just / a matchflame within someone’s reach.

 
The Doña
A mournful femme person sits at sunrise in a patterned green shawl, framing the illustration.

And I am clean, / by this squat brick stack I am clean. / As aluminium-scuffed rust / am I clean.

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales from Late-Stage Hospitality—The Bathroom Stickers
A collage of vibrant stickers, some related to bands or pop culture. At the centre is a large eye.

Everything was familiar to him ... It was well-loved, like the spine of a book read dozens of times.

 
rodeo clown
Liquid-like purple and green swirls with an abstract, sketched blue hand/foot in two corners.

the lamb, suckling on the statue of liberty / closes its fist / against girlhood / against desert kingdoms

 
Farrago State Election Policy Comparisons #1: Health

What do the parties and candidates say about healthcare in Victoria? Farrago's resident policy wonk Benjamin Cronshaw reports.

 
Sick Paddock
A windswept field with silhouetted trees and rocks on the horizon, beneath a pastel sunset sky.

The cow’s wail wafts ghostly / in life. In death, / it breathes on the air, / odourless, a clean tongue.

 
Group Ticket Voting in the Victorian State Election – Whose Preference is it?

Above-the-line voting? Below-the-line voting? Group voting tickets? Preference-whispering? Abbey Saxon breaks it down.

 
State Electorate Profile: Brunswick
A street perspective of Sydney Road in Brunswick, on a slightly cloudy day.

Abbey Saxon gives you the political rundown on Melbourne's most (in)famous inner-northern suburb.

 
Wow, it’s the Victorian State Election! Wait, what are we voting for again?

Two elections? In one year? Thalia Blackney is here to let you know what you're voting for on the 26th, and how the Victorian state election actually works.

 
Dating App Armageddon

I’m in bed on Hinge. I scroll through a couple of photos on a profile and then hit the cross in the bottom left corner. My thumb is so accustomed to this that I don’t even have to look down to find it—just scroll and tap. Scroll and tap. Profiles blur together, faces become unrecognisable. I shudder: is this normal? Or is this doing irreparable damage to my brain? Probably both.

 
Empathy and Entropy: Mobile Gaming’s Advertising Dystopia

We are deep within the entropy of hyper casual mobile gaming. New apps are uploaded every single second, often as previously created games just with a new colour scheme. The creative bankruptcy of these developers is increasingly obvious, so how do they lure people in to download their apps?

 
The Aesthetics of Animal Crossing: New Horizons

The Animal Crossing franchise’s cosy aesthetics and relaxed gameplay have enjoyed wild popularity, especially since the release of their newest title, Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the Nintendo Switch. For the uninitiated, the premise of Animal Crossing is simple: you are a friendly town resident with friendly animal neighbours, and you are free to fill your days with decorating, gardening, fishing, catching bugs, and generally just leading an idyllic and idle life.

 
Robots and Lawyers: What Being ‘On the Spectrum’ Really Means

In this final column, I want to have a look at a few examples of some stories on screen and in literature that seem to play into stereotypes about autism only to subvert or otherwise complicate them in interesting ways. I will mainly draw on the opening episode of the aforementioned Netflix series, and the first book in the wonderful The Murderbot Diaries series written by neurodivergent author Martha Wells.

 
Ordinary Phenomena: Birdmen in Flight
Glowing green-and-blue outline of twisting rollercoaster tracks, a green bird flying above.

The crowd trickles in and out of lines, lips dulcet and candied, breaths loud and permeating.

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition Three 2022
A row of buildings silhouetted against a swirly textured and blurred purple background.

Ormond College Student “Too Poor” to Pay for Uber Home

 
Moonflower
White and black outlines of flowers and plants, dotted with eyes, on a dark grey background.

Focus on the earth as if it is the one moving. Are you falling away? Is it rising away from you? Physics says it’s both.

 
After Dark
A silvery person tumbles into red swirls and silhouetted bottles, hands pulling at their legs.

Neon lights groan to life as they crawl out of hiding. Leaning in from the edges, their eyes slide across your body.

 
The Untethering
A watercolour painting of an old woman deep in thought, holding a teacup with a rose on it.

Is it the toasted sugar kisses? / Or when we waltzed in the kitchen / To spring’s symphony?

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: Clearing the Brain Fog
A half-smiling Selena Sparklemoon, with blue braids and pink sunnies, sips from a purple mug.

I’m running on empty, and my noggin’s got nothing. It’s a condition you are likely all too aware of: brain fog.

 
That Much Is Known
A man and faceless woman sit in a car under a starry sky, bathed in a silver-blue glow.

“She had light, auburn hair and perfect teeth.” He saw her projected onto the screen of the cold-smoked car window.

 
Against the Hurries, Against the Waits
An illustration of a tram stop framed by telegraph lines and birds. Two people sit on the bench.

and I wonder, / is this my first lesson in buoyancy / against the cavalry of weeks?

 
summer in fitzroy
A row of silhouetted buildings in various shades of purple, before a soft sunrise.

Summer slips through the air, greasing the asphalt and flushing skin pink.

 
When we were teenagers
A grey owl in front of a starry blue night sky, with galaxies and stars spilling out of its eyes.

We were the smell of each other, the glandular oil, the acned sweat, the small of the neck smooth and vaguely feminine.

 
nitrous oxide love machine
Two silvery hands cradle a ladybug.

my body blooms / though not so much my body / as much as my liver / or maybe my stomach

 
final girls
Girls in red tutus, the front carrying a baseball bat, run through rows of purple fields at night.

our final girls have heaven now / botox, cloud houses, miniature ponies, swimmer’s bodies

 
Ordinary Phenomena: Snakeskin
A mystical pastel illustration of a sunset with golden-pink clouds over a glistening sea.

You feel her trace the moles carved into the shallow of your skin like they’re constellations.

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales From Late-Stage Hospitality—The Staff Drinks
Two characters, with purple and orange skin respectively, embrace in front of a chaotic party scene.

Echoes of the universe outside passed, barely perceptible, into the world of their intimacy.

 
The ‘VAPE NATION’ To Sad Girl Pipeline: How Melbourne’s Vaping Epidemic Is Fuelling Mental Illness

If you live in Melbourne—or anywhere really—you’ll be aware of the rise of disposable vapes and their many enthusiasts. Whether you’ve taken it up yourself, or simply walked through billowing clouds of lush ice on Chapel Street, there is no doubt that IGET, HQD, Vaporlax and Puff Bar have well and truly settled down in Melbourne.

 
“Giving It All Away” (to him): Analysing Phallogocentrism in Helen Garner’s Monkey Grip

Bitches love Monkey Grip. And by bitches, I mean me, and every other indie kid and/or English/Creative Writing major in the greater Melbourne Area. But we have good reason.

 
A Message to the Uni Gods: Change Your Extension Policies

Extensions, huh? You can’t really get through uni without needing one at least once, but boy do they make it an absolute fuckfest of a process. The professor becomes judge, jury and, in the event your pleas are insufficiently desperate, executioner.

 
When ‘Less Is More’ Is Too Much

Those of us who have been subjected to feminine beauty standards will remember with some contempt the ‘Instagram makeup’ look of 2016. Pomaded, arched brows, full coverage foundation, and cheekbones painstakingly carved out of setting powder were the daily uniform. I stewed in envy when I overheard a girl in my 10th grade English class mention that she woke up at 4 AM to get the look down every day like it was nothing, just what was expected of her—her duty.

 
Loving/Hating DALL-E

I’m fidgeting in a swivel chair as we wait for Craiyon, formerly known as DALL-E mini, to spit out images for the text prompt: “philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre wearing a green crochet bonnet, photorealistic”.

 
Can Electronic Music Still Conjure the Future?

It became apparent to late writer Mark Fisher that around the mid-2000s, electronic music as a genre had failed to produce a new innovation. In the time since, electronic music failed to progress past tropes and stylings that had already been explored in the twentieth century. To some, this may simply sound like the bemoaning of an older generation that “music just isn’t as good as it used to be.”

 
Who is the Cool Girl? The evolution of coolness in a culture that thrives off impermanence.

We’ve all seen her, in some way or another, in some time or place. The illusive walk, the ethereal mystique, the silent charm that draws you in. The internet calls her the “cool girl”, but really, it seems to be increasingly more difficult to try and pin down the qualities that make her “cool”.

 
Abortion in Australia

As of September 2021, abortion practices have been legalised under Australian law nationwide. It’s been a long journey, from the criminalisation of all abortion through the 1861 Offences Against the Persons Act; to the Menhennit Ruling 1969, which legalised abortion only in cases of physical and mental necessity; to the removal of abortion from  the Crimes Act 1900 through the Abortion Law Reform Act 2019.

 
The College Captain to Green Hair Pipeline

I loved high school. I loved my teachers and my friends. I loved immersing myself in my subjects and my role as College Captain. I loved the validation of a productive workshop session with a teacher or a good grade. I loved the awards ceremonies and the public acknowledgement that, academically, I was thriving.

 
WHY AM I CRYING OVER 18 YOUNG MEN?

But just like that.

After 20 years of nothing but constant support.

This is how the North Melbourne Football Club treats me.

 
Women in Muscles

I’ve been working out since I was in my early teens. Not always consistently, and very rarely well, but I grew up with a very conscious desire to either get in or stay in shape. But, as far as I knew, being ‘in shape’ just meant doing cardio. And lots of it.

 
A Love Letter to the Seventies

I can still remember where I was the first time I heard ‘Everything I Own’ by Bread. I remember who with me at the time and what the sun felt like as it streamed in through the window in the backseat of my mum’s car. I remember the instant love I felt for it, the sadness in knowing that I might never find a song that made me feel the same way, and the gratitude for how lucky I was to have stumbled across a song I knew would be a special part of my life forevermore after that first listen.

 
“Dare to Struggle, Dare to Win”: A History of the Green Ban

You may have heard recently that the Curtin Hotel is closing down. An iconic pub, a popular live music venue and a go-to watering hole for Melbourne unionists for the past century — thrown to the dogs because it was unable to sustain itself financially through the pandemic. However, all is not lost for the Curtin, because the unions of Victoria are set to declare a ‘green ban’ on the pub’s demolition.

 
Isekais Suck

Isekai: a blight genre that consistently plagues seasonal anime releases. As a genre, it tends to be about as trashy as it can get. And yet, its everlasting presence suggests that somebody out there is consuming this stuff in enough quantity to sustain the entire market.

 
What’s Missing in Incel Discourse?

I’ll be honest, it’s been real weird watching incel manosphere stuff enter public consciousness from its isolated internet origins. Before, I’d been watching interviews with incels and browsing through their subreddits much like watching a car crash, inevitably ending in the subreddit getting banned for sexism (big surprise).  Now ‘incel’ gets used synonymously with ‘sexist dudes’ whilst we have ironic sigma male memes riffing off manosphere-phrenology.

 
University of Melbourne Farmers’ Market Closes for Rest of 2022
A photograph of Farmers' Market stalls outside the MSD.

University of Melbourne students are devastated by the cancellation of their beloved Wednesday Farmers’ Market.

 
"VCA & MCM pay your staff": Chalk Protests Splashed at Open House Tour
The words 'VCA &amp; MCM PAY YOUR STAFF' written in chalk on a footpath with splashes of water on it

Chalk protests reading “VCA & MCM pay your staff” were splashed with water during an Open House Melbourne tour.

 
UMSU’s SSAF Funding up in the Air as University Imposes Hefty Rental Charges
A photograph of the new Student Pavilion building

The University of Melbourne Student Union will be required to pay the University almost $400,000 in property outgoings.

 
How Many Campaign Posters Can One Electorate Take?

Historically, posters have long been used as an art form to persuade readers on a whole range of positions. Think Uncle Sam demanding you enlist into the army or Rosie flexing her muscles encouraging us girls to help with the war effort. Suppose there’s one skill I’ve mastered studying history and politics for this long; it’s the ability to overanalyse the purpose and message of these posters.

But are they actually effective?

 
How Micro-Trends Are Ruining Our Consumption Habits

Let me set the scene: you are deep in the last of Melbourne’s 2021 lockdowns, sitting on the couch scrolling through TikTok when you see someone wearing a fresh, cool, unique piece of clothing. Envisioning how trendy you would look if you wore it too, you rush to Google, locate and secure the item on an impulse. However, in the time you spend waiting for Australia Post to deliver it to your door, you have seen the item worn by 56 different people, on 4 different social media platforms.

 
The War on Misinformation: TikTok Edition

Since TikTok exploded, its effects on music (look at the GRAMMYs nominations), clothes (search up OOTD) and trends, in general, have been seen everywhere. It is the world’s fastest-growing social media app used by more than 1 billion people worldwide with roughly 7.38 million Australian users. With half of its users under 30, TikTok is central to many lives.

 
Bon Appétit and Me: A Breakup Story

We spend days on end scavenging for books, reading Letterboxd reviews, and creating shopping carts that are never purchased, only to discover that the author is a TERF, the film’s director has been accused of sexual assault, and the clothing brand relies on unpaid labour—or in my case, that Bon Appétit magazine, creator of the binge-worthy YouTube series “Gourmet Makes,” has exploited its workers of colour.

 
Capitalism and the Crisis

Capitalism—the economic system that manifests in the free market, structural wealth inequalities and the pursuit of economic advancement at all costs—meets crisis—a moment of surging conflict, of irrepressible chaos and change. What could possibly go wrong?

 
An Obituary To My White Canvas Sneakers

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you are forced to throw out your favourite pair of shoes. No amount of duct tape, superglue or staples can keep them together anymore. And as much as these shoes have become a part of who you are, deep down you know. It’s time to move on.

On that note, it is with a heavy heart that I announce that on February 17, 2022, I had no choice but to discard my white canvas sneakers.

 
Baby Botox, Social Media and Our Fear of Ageing

The pervasive desire for “preventive” cosmetic procedures within the younger generations was brought to my attention during a recent visit to the dermatologist. My doctor expressed her concern for children as young as fifteen, most of whom were accompanied by a guardian of legal age, who were coming in to request facial fillers or body augmentations, such as lip and cheek fillers or rhinoplasties. Why are such young individuals seeking such procedures?

 
Offaly Delicious: a more holistic diet

In Australia, we live plentifully and can choose whatever cuts of meat we desire most. Our socio-economic conditions do not ask for rationing or a major rethink of our diets. The only major impact on our diets in recent memory has been the failure of supply chains during COVID-19 to give consumers what they want. Selecting offal is a choice, not a necessity—but it should be considered as much as our chicken breasts or pork chops.

 
The Pram Factory: A Retrospective

It’s been 42 years since the demise of the Pram Factory. Still, the legacy of that shambolic factory-turned-warehouse-turned-theatre continues to loom large in Carlton's history and Australian culture.

The Pram Factory was an alternative theatre that operated in Carlton through the 1970s. It was the home of the Australian Performing Group (APG), an experimental ensemble that sprouted from La Mama Theatre before setting up shop at The Pram in 1970.

 
Presidential Candidate Profile: Hibatallah (Hiba) Adam
A purple graphic with large block text, 'UMSU ELECTIONS: PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE DEBATE'.

Meet Hibatallah (Hiba) Adam (she/they), a second-year Juris Doctor student, and the UMSU presidential candidate for ‘Community for UMSU’.

 
The Motivation Behind World Leaders’ Public Congratulations for Prime Minister Albanese

As the news of Prime Minster Albanese’s election spread across the world Saturday night, the customary congratulations from Australia’s allies rolled in, wishing the new PM and his Labor cabinet well for the future.

 
Hey—did I see you at Collingwood Yards last week?

Collingwood Yards: 35 Johnston Street, Collingwood, embedded in Melbourne’s inner-northern suburbs. A series of vast brick and concrete structures pushed up against a narrow footpath, rimmed by neon lights—a new, surprising and innovative community arts space. Somewhere along the way, Collingwood Yards became synonymous with a particular crowd—bleached-cap wearing, bike-riding, Savers-shopping young people—leading to plentiful Instagram discourse poking fun at the Yard’s regulars.

 
Filling Up the Static: Rocket, magic and Big Thief’s Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You

In the song “Time Escaping”, the opening bars of percussion clatter reluctantly into view, as if someone’s dropped a pair of sticks down a slightly confused slope. You can hear Adrianne Lenker sigh and cough a little; then, a second rhythm, overlapping. The first time I heard it, I felt turned around and faintly bewildered. They were going somewhere I wasn’t sure I’d be able to follow.

 
Dear Diary: The PM's Retrospective Journal

Dear diary,

I’m tired of the city life, summers on the run, people tell me I should stay, but I’ve got to get my fun.

 
Driving Stick

My brother is trying to teach me to drive a manual car; we go around and around the empty lot down at the local high school. When I was younger, my band teacher taught us a trick on the snare drum, where you throw the drumstick in the air and catch it again without interrupting the drumbeat. He said if you have the coordination to do this, you have the coordination to drive a manual car.

 
Review: Mothering Sunday (2021)

‘Mothering Sunday’ (dir. Eva Husson) is a period drama in the most unconventional sense – both the viewer and the characters hardly know what time and era they’re supposed to be in.

 
Column: Futility and the beauty of devastation in Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight is a behemoth in the indie games’ scene, lauded worldwide as “the Metroidvania to end Metroidvanias”. Created by the Adelaide-based Team Cherry, it follows the adventure of the unnamed Knight as you explore the wretched ruins of the underground kingdom of Hallownest.

 
Column: Aesthetic Representations of Neurodivergence and Mental Illness

Representations of neurodivergence in fiction rarely invite the viewer into the perspective of characters who experience the world differently. Instead, they portray the world through the lens of the oft-neurotypical creator watching from the outside. I want to look at a few examples of narratives where the aesthetic choices made by the writer or director puts audiences in the head of the neurodivergent protagonist, thus allowing viewers to experience their unique mindset and empathise with them

 
Review: 9 to 5 the Musical

Nearing completion of its first run at the State Theatre in Arts Centre Melbourne, 9 to 5: The Musical has had no trouble enticing audiences with the lure of Dolly Parton and a stage cast of beloved Australian performers. Unfortunately, this success isn't enough to overlook the glaring problems of a half-baked story lacking real depth.

 
On Holding

The wind pulls my hair / out from behind my ear / onto my face and so I set down / my book and push my hair back

 
The Well

Now its blue-grey rocks were pocked and waterstained, and a wooden board covered the opening.

 
The City of Light
A sketched city framed by mountains, with a sunset backdrop. On a cliff, a red figure holds a torch.

The City of Light gets brighter and brighter / As they wait for the King’s arrival

 
A WIP Around the Workshop: Modern Mythology—Creating Our Own Lore

What about the tales now whispered in apartment buildings around a bowl of popcorn at 2am? Will they too become myths?

 
A Name for a Monster
An illustration of a crying Medusa reaching out towards a falling warrior who's just turned to stone

“Medusa!” he yells. “Gorgon medusa!” Frightful ruler! Greek words, easy on his tongue. All these heroes are Greek.

 
Jan 27 (Hardly Working)
An ink drawing: a mass of small, leaf-like shapes crossed with grey and green root-like lines.

Mud-caked and defeated / we rove over a country choked / into submission.

 
Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns plastered with protest posters, been a part of tutorial discussions (particularly within the Arts faculty), socialised with fellow students–this statement needs even less justification. Yet, UniMelb’s most far-left political group, Socialist Alternative (SocAlt), seems to be its most hated.

 
Material Girls—a source of liberation or an excuse for overconsumption?

The so-called “Material Girl” lifestyle is a phenomenon that has circled TikTok ForYou pages since November 2021. The hallmarks of this trend—be it a brightly coloured Telfar bag, a pair of $900.00 Airpods Max or a head-to-toe Lululemon ensemble—assure us that ultimately, shopping can be empowering and wealth is equal to success. However, with the rising criticism of overconsumption, we are left with the question: does an ethical version of a “Material Girl” exist?

 
No, You’re Not in Your Fleabag Era

In a world overwhelmed by praise and adoration for characters such as Phoebe Waller Bridge’s Fleabag and those in the Sally Rooney literary universe, it can be difficult to distinguish redeemable, commendable behaviour from the not-so. Written so eloquently and with such realistic qualities, myself and others, particularly female, audiences and readers have found it refreshing to gravitate towards such characters, identifying with their flaws and feeling the weight slowly slip off our shoulder

 
Rating the Past: How Classification Shaped Us All

As a generation of media consumers, we have, in one way or another, encountered the Australian Classification and Ratings System. You know, that little prohibitive green/yellow/blue/red/black box in the corner of the DVD or video game case you had growing up? Chances are that since you turned 18, you haven't given those ratings much thought. After all, they hardly apply to you anymore, or maybe they never did (especially for the more rebellious readers).

 
In Defence of Science Fiction

When you think of science fiction, what comes to mind? Aliens? Sheldon Cooper? That trope where a condescending male character spews scientific jargon, only to be asked to repeat themselves “in English, please”? Space as “the final frontier”?

 
Why the Face? The Role of the Face Cam in Constructing Parasocial Relationships.

We operate in a time where attention is a commodity, dispensed by live streamers and ravenously sought after by audiences. Livestreaming culture has been struggling with obsessive audiences for years now –  this video from 2020 is an excellent description of how these cultures came into being. While there has been extensive writing on parasociality from podcasting and live streaming before, few discuss how these bonds are constructed.

 
Lines in the Sand: The Pride and Rivalry of Australian States

Upon learning of my Southern derivation, the inevitable question would follow: “What’s there to do in Adelaide?”  One way or another, every Australian capital city has come to embody an archetype. If Australia were a John Hughes film, casting each capital city would be easy.  Somehow, Adelaide has a reputation for being a hopelessly provincial pseudo-city trapped at the arse-end of Australia.

 
New Year
An illustrated pattern of red and pink flowers mimicking an embroidered style.

January air is amniotic. / February will come like a birth or excision.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 10(22) + 11(22)

While everyone was in Europe, I was in council.

 
to: life.
A white sketched outline of a femme-presenting person lying asleep on their back, overlaid on an ima

to wring a dry cloth / on cracked soil / under the ablaze sun.

 
Virgil's Eclogue I
An illustration of sheep in a green pasture. In the background are hills, between which an orange su

Tityrus, you recline beneath a screen / of spreading beech and dwell upon the woodland / muse with slender reed

 
Busting
A digital illustration of fragments of a watermelon bursting out from an orange, galaxy-like spiral

The watermelon dwarfs the little fridge it’s displayed on, green rind overtaking white plastic.

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition One 2022
A grey-blue banner littered with floating, disembodied human faces wearing a variety of fun and stra

Student who submitted timetable preferences during their “new year, new me” phase now holding back tears in 8am tute.

 
Labor’s latest climate bomb shows we need to fight for climate justice

The media have adopted a wait-and-see approach towards the new Labor government, particularly concerning the climate.

 
Column: M. Night Shyamalan and the Ableist Myth

Director M. Night Shyamalan has become something of a joke among film fans. Following the smash success of The Sixth Sense in 1999, he briefly became Hollywood’s golden boy, gracing the cover of Newsweek magazine in 2002 along with the moniker “The Next Spielberg”. Yet, he fell just as quickly, releasing a series of commercial and critical flops that destroyed the goodwill he had accumulated with his first three major features.

 
Column: The Tiny Blue Car

Round white headlights. An even rounder exterior. Metallic blue doors and black rubber tires. Scratched but intact side lamps. Worn fabric seats, peeling at the sides to expose yellow foam. Seven-year-old Chathu stared at the unfamiliar object, a tiny blue second-hand Nissan Micra with headlamps and grills that gave it the curious face of a two-year old child. “It’s our new car,” her father said proudly, the beams of the sun glinting off his bald head mirrored in the smile he gave her.

 
The Ironies of the ‘Public House’

My interest in the contemporary Melbournian pub began with an expensive Northcote parmigiana. 

As I tapped my card to facilitate the transfer of $26 from my bank account to the EFTPOS machine, I found myself wondering whether a pub meal was always this expensive. Sure, the cost of a chicken parmigiana must cover the price of ingredients, and the labour of preparing, cooking and serving the meal.

 
“We won’t go back”: Thousands in Melbourne Protest in solidarity against overturned Roe v Wade

Thousands of people took to the streets of Melbourne’s CBD on Saturday, protesting in solidarity against the overturning of the landmark Roe v Wade ruling by the US Supreme Court.

 
Australian Election Breakdown #2: By the Issues

Ben's back: electric boogaloo.

 
'Nepo babies' and white feminism: the '22 Teal Independents

Are these women just manifestations of white feminism who were brought forward on the premise of climate change and transparency?

 
Review: Six the Musical; Production, Creative Direction & Legacy

Six, possibly one of the most important musicals of our generation, has finally arrived in Melbourne, after originally being set to reign over the Comedy Theatre’s stage two years ago, before delays due to COVID-19. Six is the brainchild of students Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss, who created the glitzy pop musical across 10 non-consecutive days in the hopes of providing a platform for the musical talents of their female friends, and to rewrite how women are being portrayed in theatre.

 
Vivid from Inspiration | Blackout Poetry Competition, Third Place
An illustration with a black background. Across the image are scattered white music notes, a star, a

it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact moment that ignited creative expression. the movement began further blurring the answer

 
Students' Council Round Up: 9(22)

Burnley goes ham with motions.

 
Review: Susanville by The Chamber of Susans

We sent two Farrago writers to an improv show. They gave us different reviews.

 
“I’m ready to be something for you”: Carla Geneve, performing, and music-making

Just a song into the concert, she tunes her guitar and within moments, a string breaks.

 
So it’s the Federal Election Today… How do I Actually Vote?

POV: you're realising why you should have made that list of preferences.

 
Explainer: What you need to know about the preferential voting system

So, first question—why do we have preferential voting, and why does it matter?

 
A (disassembled and underwhelming) conversation on voting Greens or Labor (w/ Adam Bandt)

It has come to my attention that even in a country with preferential voting, ideology and voting preferences don’t always align as one (me) might assume.

 
Profile: Jerome Small, Victorian Socialists Candidate for Calwell

Victorian Socialists candidate Jerome Small is up for Calwell this coming Federal Election. He spoke to Farrago about climate policy, labour rights, and the challenges for Victorian Socialists in the upcoming election.

 
Previous PMs Pick Sides as the Election Race Heads into the Homestretch

Here is a brief summary of where six former Australian Prime Ministers stand in the 2022 federal election.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #7: Health

What do the parties and candidates say about healthcare in Australia?

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #6: Indigenous Affairs

What do the parties and candidates say about the Uluru statement or other policies to support Indigenous Australians?

 
A Contemporary National Anthem
A photograph of the Australian Parliament House at night

Australians, all / I do not believe that the colour of one’s skin determines whether you are disadvantaged. / Let us rejoice / It wasn’t a particularly flash day for the people on those vessels, either.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #5: Gender Equality

How are each of the parties doing on gender representation? And what are their records and key policies on gender equality and women's safety?

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #4: Defence

What do the parties and candidates say about national security issues?

 
The LinkedIn Industrial Complex

I have attempted to make a LinkedIn profile twice in my life.

 
The Cost of Space Travel

I am named after the first woman in space, Valentina Tereshkova. This is usually my go-to “fun fact about myself” I have tucked away for the first week of uni classes; a simple and easy answer to most ice-breaker questions.

 
Hey hey hey, it’s time to recap the Kooyong Leaders Debate piece

Poor Selina, she had to watch the whole debate.

 
The Memes of the 2022 Election (so far)

Allegra gives us her opinions again!

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #3: Housing and Homelessness

With the rising housing market, renting, or buying a house has been increasingly unaffordable or precarious for many Australians.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 7(22)

Fighting? In your Students' Council? It's more likely than you think.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #2: Education

What do the parties and candidates have to say about education or supporting students?

 
Can Independents break the addictive appeal of voting habits?

There’s an element of excitement to a candidate not tied to a party line. I quite like the idea of voting Independent. It is empowering.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #1: Environment and Climate

This week we are looking at Environment and Climate Change.

 
The Comforts and Criticisms of Cottagecore

What comes to mind when you read the word “Cottagecore”? Is it images of flowing streams, thatched roofs and knitted cardigans? Or is the word utterly foreign to you? Unlike its contemporary counterparts, Cottagecore looks toward the past and embraces it. It takes aspects from a bygone era and repackages them to appeal to the present day.

 
Gender Hiring Quotas in Australia’s Workforce

The pay gap between men and women in Australia’s workforce averages 14.2 per cent, according to the 2021 Census. This figure represents the weekly discrepancy between men’s and women’s earnings in full-time work, accounting for careers and industries all across the board. Not ideal, but hey—it could be worse, right?

 
No One is Above the Law

Novak Djokovic. World No. 1 tennis player. His whole saga about trying to enter Australia without being vaccinated made global headlines. It turned out almost like a soap opera. He was initially refused entry despite having a permit, for which he successfully appealed. Yet the government once again rejected his entry, so he appealed once more but ended up being deported. Various news outlets either condemned or condoned Australian laws. So, what happened?

 
Staff Writer Film Recommendations: The Criminally Underrated Films You Would Die For

We all have those films that we watch and think, ‘why doesn’t everyone watch this movie all the time?!’ Perhaps it’s fallen by the wayside in the decades since it was released, or is an un-streamed masterpiece slowly being forgotten? So, here are the criminally underrated films we would die for from the Non-Fiction Staff Writing team at Farrago.

 
The Myth of Cisyphus

They keep words from children, so I had no name for what I was until puberty had finished with me. This language is narrow, and strains under even a little stretch. We confuse the plural pronoun, confuse it more when we apply it to flesh. For my part, I have a body that doesn’t announce itself: one of those faces that carried adolescence into the third decade, and hair long for a boy but short for a girl. If I were to pass a pair of strangers, I could be Man to one, and Woman to the other.

 
The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off-campus.

 
Review: Operation Mincemeat (2020)

Along with the atrocities of the Second World War came a total distrust of how we as humanity can communicate with each other. In that vein, Operation Mincemeat opens with the idea that there is a ‘seen’ war and a ‘hidden’ war. This duality between seen and unseen, between trust and distrust, and ultimately between hero and villain, is perhaps what this biographical war drama truly aims to showcase – and it achieves this to varying degrees of success.

 
Review: Dice Paper Role 'Myths & Legends', MICF 2022

You don’t have to be a “nerd” to enjoy good ol’ role-play

 
Gender and Self-Expression in the Time of the Plague

An underreported side effect of the pandemic has been the effect of widespread insecurity on people’s sense of self. In their 2021 study, researchers Gibbons and Thorton found that the changing social environment of the pandemic allowed people to “experiment with how they express their identity”. With this widespread focus on self-improvement throughout the pandemic, it is perhaps unsurprising that an increased number of young people have experienced qualms about their gender identity.

 
Hot Cocoa and Hot Cannibals: Snuggling Up with the Slasher

“That’s sweet,” a friend of mine said when I told her.

“It is,” I replied. “It’s the kind of sweetness you sometimes get with kids that’s somehow even sweeter for the tang it has of morbidity,

 
An ‘exorcism of perfection’, Beige Bitch forces us to confront the mediocrity within us all

Emily Carr presents a one-woman tour-de-force, a beautifully blunt exorcism of unrealistic expectations as captivatingly honest as it is tumultuously hilarious. Nominated in 2018 for Best Comedy at the Melbourne Fringe Festival for her work QUEENZ and performing regularly with the Mystery Radio Theatre Company, this is her debut solo show. And what a show it is – Emily Carr presents Beige Bitch with such infectious energy and charisma, taking her audience on a journey through carefully crafted

 
Review: Empathy Training, MICF 2022

Should our mistakes define us? The dogmatic dominion of ‘cancel culture’, perpetuated by its re-tweeting apostles, has spread from social media fodder to become ubiquitous in real-life relationships. In Brendan Black and Martin Chewell’s play Empathy Training, shown at the La Mama theatre as a part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, this contemporary philosophy of ‘cancelling’ is pulled apart and prodded in comically genius and thought-provoking ways.

 
Review: Happening 'L’événement' (2021)

Audrey Diwan’s Happening is a simple film. Set in 1960s Paris, the story focuses on heroine Anne Duchesne (Anamaria Vartolomei), who leads a seemingly unremarkable life as a 20-year-old student trying to pass her entrance exams for university. The costumes, setting, and actors themselves are unglamorous, almost plain. When one thinks of it, it’s almost strange that Diwan’s no-frills approach is directed toward the magnanimous subject of abortion. This, however, may be the point.

 
Younger Siblings
A digital illustration of the Archibald Fountain in Hyde Park, with a smiling sun, a pathway, a tree

The conversation continued like a river, energetically rolling on before slamming into rocks and getting redirected.

 
On the Tip of the Tongue
An illustration of an open mouth with a spider inside and a kernel of popcorn trapped in its web. Th

Kasey lifted the bottom of her mask just enough to slip a popcorn kernel onto her tongue for Winona to nibble on.

 
A Screen is Not a Room (But it Might be a Door)
A fantastical digital sketch of a blond masculine-presenting person, face full of frustration, leani

It was the third consecutive night of video calling when I decided I’d had enough.

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales from Late-Stage Hospitality - The Bar Fight
A white line artwork on a black background, depicting a crowd of distorted, abstract people on the l

The nightclub on Collins Street had no official cloakroom, and the alcohol-saturated crowds began shedding their jackets: dancing with silk over their arm, a sleeve dangling by their knee.

 
Enrol to Vote Now!

Come 21 May, every eligible Australian will go to the polling booths and cast their vote in the Federal Election. However, you must be enrolled to vote.

 
Review: Hope and Change in It Snows in Benidorm

Written and directed by Isabel Coixet, It Snows In Benidorm is as unreasonably beautiful in its imperfections as it is refreshing in its film elements, despite the dull and reclined protagonist we are introduced to. This is an exhilarating masterpiece, from the quirky and mysterious characters that populate its woefully dreamy world to the ever-transient scenes at the beach to the unique sectioning of the film into ten types of weather.

 
STI AWARENESS MONTH: 28% of young Aussies are skipping essential sexual health checks

Young Aussies are being significantly under-screened for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), with sexual health assistant app “Geni” reporting that 28 per cent are skipping out on essential sexual health checks.

 
Getting Versed in the Metaverse

In an hour-long video released in October 2021, Mark Zuckerberg expounded about what the rebrand of Facebook Inc. envisioned for the Internet’s future, discussing innovative ideas and concepts in the realms of entertainment, education, business, and—surprisingly—privacy.

 
The Dark Side of New Religious Movements

Jane, whose name has been changed to maintain her anonymity, was raised in the spiritual tradition of Falun Gong. It is one of many new religious movements (NRMs) that emerged from the Qigong boom of late 20th century China. The PRC’s policy of state atheism had seen many traditional religions wiped out. Still, qigong was accepted because it was considered a form of Chinese medicine that used meditative exercises to refine one’s health.

 
The Feminist Wave Construct

Where do we learn to be feminists? How do we learn to be feminists? For many of us, it’s not as simple as picking up a book by Virginia Woolf or attending a university lecture on gender studies. And yet, these are some of the stereotypes by which we have come to qualify feminist identification. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with studying feminist literature, or attending feminist lectures, but such academic resources should not be the only means of ‘learning’ feminism. Here's why.

 
Crypto-masculinities

I encounter the bitcoin boy far later than most others. His devotion to the world of bitcoin makes him easy to poke fun at and he is quickly compacted into an unflattering archetype. Over time, bitcoin boy becomes easy to spot in both online spaces and real-world interactions. Over time, bitcoin boy also becomes wealthier.

 
Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

 
"Nothing has changed!”: On the Global Climate Strike

We knew of this crisis in the ‘70s, and these strikes began in 2018. A whole pandemic has occurred, a generation of strikers have graduated, and we still haven’t had meaningful climate action, let alone justice.

 
Felicide Friday

They don’t look anything alike. They’re simply two cats, existing separately but parallel in my mind.

 
pink cadillac (in memoriam)
An illustration of a bright pink cadillac in front of a small petrol station in the middle of the de

car crash simulation straight out of heaven / and you, in the driver’s seat (Jesus take the wheel!)

 
Rattle
An illustration of femme person with blond hair and a shining diamond engagement ring. She appears d

“A ring is a promise,” Evangeline’s mother told her as she sat upon her knee.

 
Through a Window
A illustration of an ornamental castle window, with fairy tale vibes, pictured from the inside. The

Sweetness wasn’t alone / When it flew out your window, / For some dusty sorrow hung soon after.

 
A Lighthouse
A fantastical lighthouse shining through layers of clouds and swirly lines. The lighthouse is pictur

I’ve been drowned / By my own brother. Tonight / He comes from a sailor’s grave / With a makeshift lantern.

 
Earthworms
A haphazard pattern of sketched leaves and stars on a dark grey background. On the right side of the

Earthworms / don’t have eyes, but they have light— / sensitive receptors in their skin. Especially their front end.

 
Ordinary Phenomena: The Elephant's Call
A digital illustration of a young femme person sitting alone in the carriage of a train, riding thro

The invitation comes as a surprise; somehow it always does.

 
Will The DJ Be Automated?

The late music industry lecturer Ed Montano wrote in 2010 that “the DJ will always have a role in club culture”. More than a decade later, technological advances have fully digitised the DJ’s tools, prompting the idea that the DJ themselves could soon be digitised. An automated, artificially intelligent DJ could be an easily achievable cost reduction for venues— so why hasn’t the DJ been automated?

 
A Viet-Aus. Experience: Why The @#$! Was My Grandmother Talking About Donald Trump?

I know, I know. We’re literally a whole year and an ocean away from the Trump administration. Really, this is something I had forgotten about—at least—until I realised that I stopped having to manoeuvre family interactions around it. Thinking back on it, it was a bizarre experience seeing as how before 2019, anything resembling “politics talk” from my grandmother was unthinkable.

 
Never See Your Favourite Artists Live

Never See Your Favourite Artists Live: A Concert Review of Lisa Mitchell’s ‘Zombie’ Single Launch at the Corner Hotel

We arrive at the bustling Corner Hotel band room, bee-lining for the gap at the front. The crowd is a mix of: 1. other twenty-something girls who have grown up on a diet of Missy Higgins, Charlie & Lola, The Rainbow Magic Series and hand-me-down stripey-toe socks and 2. the cool parents responsible for introducing them to Albury local indie-pop songstress, Lisa Mitchell

 
In the Deep End: Public Swimming Pools in Colonial Australia

Australia is a hot place. Semi-tropical New South Wales is especially so. In 1965, very few people could afford to build their own swimming pool. The public pool was more than a quaint site of pre-adolescent fun but a public necessity. Public pools also belonged to that collection of spaces which formed the social fabric of a country town. For white patrons at least, they were neutral grounds on which to meet. For others, they became a battleground.

 
A Goodbye to Union House—and a glance into the future for Union House Theatre

For those of you who have been keeping up with the University’s updates, you may be aware of the upcoming Student Precinct that is currently reaching its final stages of construction.

 
Groove Tunes: Creating accessible space in music for people living with a disability

A live music event that promises to be entirely accessible and inclusive for people living with a disability is attempting to change the music landscape for attendees and artists alike.

 
Your guide to combating Test cricket mansplaining

What the fuck is Test cricket and why is it so complicated?

 
Students Demand More Support in Student Life Programs

With the prospective return to on-campus life in 2021, students have called for more variety and non-academic elements in the Student Life programs to better support first-year undergraduates.

 
Snow Medical cuts ties with the University after inaction on gender and racial diversity

Australia’s largest philanthropic donor to medical research Snow Medical has suspended the University of Melbourne from their Snow Fellowship program.

 
“Karrinjarla muwajarri—we call for ceasefire.”

On 9 November 2019, Warlpiri man Kumanjayi Walker was shot three times dead by police officer Zachary Rolfe. He was only nineteen.

 
Feminism and the home in Steph Markerink’s Domesticated

Union House’s George Paton Gallery (GPG) is currently home—in the truest sense of the word—to curator Steph Markerink’s exhibition Domesticated.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 4(22)

I walk a lonely road...

 
Finding Sense in the Cinema Again

You’re in a large room filled with many seats. To avoid any confusion, you made sure to get into your assigned seat early, or maybe you arrived right on time. Other people filter in and walk past you trying to find their row. The lights seem to be dimming, but you’re also not sure if they are. You may call this place the cinema, the movie theatre, the silver screen, or the pictures. What happens next has the power to profoundly affect you— if you allow it.

 
ET, Phone My Home (Please)

One night in August 1993, Kelly Cahill awakens from a lapse of unconsciousness, unable to recall the events that had taken place just minutes beforehand. Her life was about to change forever.

On a night some 29 years later, mostly untouched by the story of Kelly Cahill and her legacy, I sit watching ‘Paul’ with my mum, pondering what my dad has always told me about the extra-terrestrial happenings in the area in which we live, and yet feeling entirely detached from it.

 
down with capitalism

over the past few years, i’ve witnessed friends, family and now even myself fall victim to a sickening trend. 

what started (i can only assume) as a simple grammatical mistake, has since taken over the entire internet. but maybe, this disturbing phenomenon is actually for the best.

 
Interview: Julius Black on Experimental Alt-Pop Sophomore EP, “Together We Go Down In The Dark”

Soft, dark and haunting. Kiwi artist Julius Black is back on the alt-pop scene with his latest EP, “Together We Go Down In The Dark”, an episodic visage of one’s descent into a toxic love-induced madness.

 
Dear Diary: The PM's Retrospective Journal

It has been a big few weeks, my worst New Year’s ever.

 
VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignored multiple reports which detailed alleged sexual and racial harassment by a male student as far back as 2019.

 
Eternals, A Review by FASFAS

Marvel has released another action-packed, complex and thrilling film, and with it, we have been given another piece of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) puzzle.

The first instalment of the Fantasy and Science Fiction Appreciation Society (FASFAS)'s review column, 'Eternals'

 
Column: Unwriting the hero's journey in Chicory: A Colourful Tale

On its surface, Greg Lobanov’s Chicory: A Colourful Tale is the poster child for escapist video games. Chicory is a colouring book turned video game, complete with Zelda-inspired puzzles, Metroidvania elements, and fun side-quests… all of which combine to create a disarmingly devastating commentary on what we are taught to want, as opposed to what what we actually need.

The first instalment in Aries' column, 'Unwriting the hero's journey in Chicory: A Colourful Tale'

 
Column: A Whole New World

8351 kilometres and two planes later. A sudden loss of heat and humidity. Hands nervously twisting together. Breathing hitched and shallow. Six-year-old Chathu looked out at her new classmates, her eyes slightly shielded by a heavy black curtain fringe. A sea of children stared at her; seated together, their heads looked like a patch quilt; every shade of brown, red and yellow.

The first instalment of Chathuni Gunatilake's column, 'A Whole New World'

 
The Coffee Pot

The old percolator makes about a mug and a half.

 
A Farrago Family Dinner with Busted Chops

Performing with Busted Chops is like drinking a shot of fireball and eating a pineapple.

 
Review: Drama School by Alistair Ward

In Drama School, the question of what it means to be a good actor ultimately becomes an inquiry into what it means to live a fulfilling life.

 
Review: Studio 666

Gone are the days where rock bands were such an IP in and of themselves that they warranted their own movie. That is precisely why Foo Fighters' Studio 666 stands out as an unburdened and creatively absurd project amidst the current rising sea of mass formulaic media.

 
Review: Sumodo ~ The Successors of Samurai, Japanese Film Festival 2022

Despite being the national sport of Japan, sumo remains relatively unknown to the western world. Director Eiji Sakata seems to have taken this lack of familiarity as a challenge, with Sumodo - The Successors of the Samurai offering an intricate introduction to sumo through its history and place within modern Japanese culture.

 
Review: It's a Summer Film!, Japanese Film Festival 2022

A trio of cinema-loving schoolgirls that we know only by their quirky codenames—Barefoot, Kickboard and Blue Hawaii—cobble together a ragtag production crew to create a samurai film. Only, they find out mid-production that one of their crew members is a time traveller from a dystopian future where their beloved films are banned, no less. A premise like this demands heart, spunk, and energy by the truckload, and luckily, It’s A Summer Film! delivers without fault.

 
Divestment for Dummies: An UMSU Enviro Guide

Care about the environment but don't know what to do? Don't worry, 2022 UMSU Environment OBs Chelsea Daniel and Zach Matthews are coming to the rescue.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 3(22)

Giddy Up! Yeehaw! Second council! Already losing my brain!

 
Review: The Silent World That Won’t Stop Talking, Nico Lim’s Daring Debut

On 13 February 2020, Nico Lim posted on his Instagram account @_flashpoetry, for the first time. This post signalled the beginning of a new project; an attempt to break down his hesitancy to share his creative work. This demolition of his caution hardened barriers manifests itself in The Silent World That Won’t Stop Talking, Nico’s debut poetry collection.

 
RAs initiate class-action lawsuit against UniLodge

UniLodge will be facing a class-action lawsuit initiated late last year by multiple residential advisors (RAs) working with Adero Law. The lawsuit accuses UniLodge and partnered universities, including the University of Canberra and the University of Sydney, of wage theft and exploitation.

 
Review: Barrikade, Transitions Film Festival

Acclaimed German photojournalist David Klammer’s new film is taking the documentary world by storm. Awarded best documentary at the Snowdance Independent Film Festival, Barrikade was also selected to be screened at the Kassel Dokfest, SUNCINE Film Festival, and Portland EcoFest, to name just a few. Released in 2021, Barrikade depicts the lives of German climate activists who built and occupied treehouses in the Dannenrod Forest to protest its clearing for the construction of a new motorway.

 
I Came, I ‘Sa’, I Cried: Parvyn launches debut album

All eyes are glued to Parvyn as the gleaming stage lights make a disco ball of her gold sequined choli, and she welcomes us to the unveiling of Sa, an album about love and family, betrayal and anxiety, written during the pandemic.

 
Addressing the Opinion Piece: “The GSA is Rushing Through Structural Changes...”

GSA General Secretary Lily Day writes a response to an opinion written about the GSA's proposed structural changes.

 
Anti-vaxxers: A Lost Cause?

Have you ever encountered an anti-vaxxer? Perhaps a family member, a friend or even online? Encounters with an anti-vaxxer, whether it is in person or online, tend to leave people frustrated, however, exploring the psychology behind the anti-vaxxer mentality may be the key in learning what you can do to influence vaccine-hesitant people.

 
Review: The Ants and the Grasshopper, Transitions Film Festival

Raj Patel’s new documentary gets its title from an Aesop’s fable. In the fable, a fiddle-playing grasshopper approaches some ants asking them to lend him some food. The ants ask why he has no food of his own, to which he replies that he’s been too busy playing the fiddle to grow and stockpile crops. The ants, rather dispassionately, are disgusted by the grasshopper’s laziness, and leave him to starve. This theme of abandonment is the launchpad for Patel’s documentary.

 
Review: A.rtificial I.mmortality, Transitions Film Festival

For the first time last week, I yearned for immortality. I stared at the unread books on my shelves, the pages collecting dust; I thought about the seas I’d never cross, the countries I’d never visit; I mourned the conversations I’d never have, the things I’d never learn.

 
Review: Bottom by Will Hudson, dir. Gavin Roach

The curtain of Willy Hudson’s Bottom rises and falls with Beyoncé. As theatregoers take their seats, “Love on Top” plays on a loop, affirming protagonist Willy’s devotion to his pop idol— as if the monstrous cut-out mood-boards weren’t enough. Running just shy of an hour, Bottom explores the various illusions and expectations inherent to that all-too-important third date. After all, he hasn’t yet been asked that dreadfully reductive, crushingly inevitable question: “Top or botto

 
Review: Run dir. Gavin Roach, a One-Man Show Starring Ben Stuart

Gavin Roach’s one-man show, Run, is an endearing, unique and impressive piece of theatre that bravely lays itself out completely bare to its audience. It can’t hide, and it doesn’t try to.

 
OPINION: The GSA is Rushing Through Structural Changes That Will Crush Student Democracy

On 5 February, a blog post appeared on the website of the Graduate Student Association (GSA) announcing major plans to reshape its structure and amend its constitution. Obscured by a number of seemingly innocuous changes is a proposed transformation that would impose serious limits on student activism, and should be of concern to all graduate students.

 
Review: The Shy Manifesto

Written by Michael Ross and directed by Gavin Roach, the Australian premiere of The Shy Manifesto opened in Melbourne as part of Midsumma Festival. British playwright Michael Ross has enjoyed a string of accolades in the UK, including being shortlisted for the 2014 Off West End Adopt a Playwright Award.

 
The Recipe for Loving My Chinese Parents

The recipe for loving my parents is complex. It is the product of countless mental notes from years of trial and error and several mishaps. The golden step to avoid getting scalded, you ask? Greasing your pan with several layers of patience.

 
What does 2022 have in store for club life?

The UniMelb Italian Stallion is writing for Farrago. Welcome to 2022.

 
Cosmic Medicine

Who didn’t love the Science Works Planetarium as a kid? The universe in high-definition above our pig-tailed and bowl cut heads; the hush that fell over the domed room as they lowered the lights; the dancing red pointer they used to describe stories in the stars.

Science Works isn’t quite so popular among senior high school students.

 
NUS condemns increased university funding announced by Morrison Government

The National Union of Students (NUS) have condemned the Coalition Government’s new research funding project which will see a $1.6 billion increase in university funding for “projects with high potential commercialisations” in fields that are deemed high priority by the Government.

 
University of Melbourne removes LSAT as entry requirement for Juris Doctor

The Melbourne Law School (MLS) has permanently removed the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) as an entry requirement for all Juris Doctor (JD) applicants from 2022 and beyond

 
Interview: Dekleyn’s latest single ‘Save My Name’ and the future of their sound

Formed in 2017, Aussie duo Dekleyn are no strangers to the music industry. Having amassed over 5 million streams on Spotify over the last 3 years, the two have made a name for themselves in the realm of memorable, irresistibly catchy and skilful songs. Inspired by the beat from their 2021 single ‘Over Again’, ‘Save My Name’ is a heartfelt song that delivers a sincere yet uplifting emotional narrative through the duo’s reliable roots in electronic pop.

 
Review: Love, Hate and Fixation in The Hating Game

“Hating someone feels disturbingly like falling in love with them,”

Bookending the opening monologue, this quote astutely summarises the narrative of the screen adaptation of Sally Thorne’s bestselling novel, The Hating Game. The film follows Lucy, played by Lucy Hale, and Josh, played by Austin Stowell, as they toe the oh-so-narrow line between love and hate, falling predictably in the former.

 
DeVil DAWNS DIOR

Last year Cruella made a reappearance on screens in a live-action origin story of the fur-fashioned fiend. The film captures the transformation of the villainess—a brash, quirky but sagacious maverick, and the humble but twisted beginnings which induce her maniacal traits.

 
Interview: Will Hyde on the powerful, visual world of his sophomore EP ‘nothing ever changes’

Every so often, an artist comes around with an almost supernatural ability to capture the mutability of adolescence in their work. will hyde does exactly this, weaving a powerful, emotional story of youth throughout his sophomore EP ‘nothing ever changes’. The EP combines singles released previously as ‘chapters' with new unheard tracks, narrating a journey of growth and acceptance that serves as a testament to will hyde’s growth and maturity as an artist.

 
Collaboration, creativity, and the power of a collective: alum reflect on student media

Aeva and Allie caught up with three former Farrago contributors to look at their lives after student media.

 
“The archives are haunted!”: The Titwitchez are back with Hagademia

COVID-19 has attempted to stop the arts industry at every turn but queer comedy coven, The Titwitchez, have no fucks to give. In their latest production Hagademia, they have to face much more with a looming deadline and sexy hauntings.

 
Managing footy and full-time study: Farrago sits down with Ellyse Gamble

Farrago reporter Patrick Sexton sat down with Western Bulldogs player Ellyse Gamble to talk about how she managed the commitments of full-time study and footy, as well as what the future looks like for AFLW players studying at a tertiary level as the League looks to expand.

 
International students finally allowed to return to Australia

After 21 months, international students can finally return to Australia.

 
FarraGoes to NatCon '21: A Guide

What is NatCon? Jo doesn't know but Max does!

 
Federal government to slash university debts for rural and regional nurses and doctors

The federal government has announced a new scheme which will wipe the university debts of nurses and doctors who work in rural, regional, and remote areas.

 
“Shame on you, Duncan!”: Students and staff rally against casualisation at Melbourne University

University of Melbourne staff and students rallied outside Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell’s Parkville mansion yesterday in opposition to the University’s growing casualisation of teaching staff.

 
OPINION: In the Morrison Government, Students Deserve No Second Chances

In a sequel nobody asked for, the Student Learning Entitlement will return in 2022. This will limit how long you can study in Commonwealth Supported Places (CSP) before you either pay the full, exorbitant fees or pray for a FEE-HELP loan.

 
 
 
 
 
Students and staff say no to the Robert Menzies Institute

Students gathered on South Lawn yesterday to protest the opening gala of the Liberal-backed think-tank Robert Menzies Institute (RMI).

 
Staying Alive (CWC Video — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
In case of emergency (rearrange as required) (CWC Video — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
a pinter moment (CWC Video — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Grocery Shopping (CWC Photography — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Untitled 2 (CWC Photography — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Don't I look like a tree? (CWC Art — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Bog Ravens (CWC Art — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
 
 
OAK

 
Birdman: Review

I had a nasty experience with this film, which came naturally as I saw it the same day that Millicent and I had our first fight. I suppose it was always coming. She’s been speaking to me less and becoming increasingly passive aggressive. She has an elitist demeanour, and I’m only now realising that she’s been judging me. I finally confronted her about it, and the argument quickly spiralled into chaos. Insults were hurled, and some of my contraptions were damaged. It started off[...]

 
Farrago

—circa 1989

 
OPINION: Why students should protest the opening of the Menzies Institute on November 18

The grand opening of the Robert Menzies Institute will come to Parkville campus this November 18 in the form of a conference and gala dinner on campus. The Menzies Institute is a Liberal Party think-tank masquerading as a Prime Ministerial library being set up in the Old Quad by the Menzies Research Centre (MRC) and the University of Melbourne. The Institute will shape campus life...

 
TITWITCHEZ SCHOOL OF TITCRAFT AND BOOBERY: A Raunchy and Raucous Celebration of Gender

Content warnings: Mild sexual content, allusions to transphobia, allusions to familial issues.

 
Yet Another Thing We Got Before GTA VI: The Vulnerable Brilliance of GRAND THEFT HAMLET In MIFF 2024

Trigger warning: Brief references to suicidal ideation, blood and violence. Trigger warning: Brief references to suicidal ideation, blood and violence.

 
AS THE TIDE COMES IN: A Poignant Meditation on Mundane, Daily Moments on a Climate-threatened Island

Wind rustling through fields of grass; deep thunder; water, gushing along a shore. We see in a low, still wide shot, a man dragging a hose over a hill, seeming to be draining one section of water to another.

 
The Profound Quietness of BLUE SUN PALACE In MIFF 2024

Constance Tsang’s first feature-length film Blue Sun Palace follows the lives of Chinese migrant workers in Queens, in the aftermath of tragedy in a massage parlour. Tsang mediates themes of exile and loneliness are mediated through a quiet, expertly cool direction. The film’s quietness is slow, tactful, and unassuming. You are punched in the gut before you know to look for the fist.

 
Everyone is Welcome at RISING’s ‘SHOUSE COMMUNITAS’

Right across from the colourful, shining “RISING” lights pinned onto Flinders Street Station, stands “Victoria’s most visited sacred place”, St Paul’s Cathedral. What is usually a sanctuary for quiet reflection and prayers, became the setting of an awesome celebration and coming together of community.

 
LE VOURDALAK: A Friendly* Reminder That the Horror Genre is Built on Violent Prejudice

*It was not a friendly reminder, I am Very Uncomfortable™.

 
Story of Kunning Palace: So Good It Was Released Almost a Year Ago & I Still Can’t Shut Up About It

My brainbox will not shut up about Story of Kunning Palace, so if you haven’t watched it, you should, and here’s why!

 
The Bridal Lament哭嫁歌: Song of Love and Loss

When you think of weddings, you immediately picture an atmosphere of joy: flowers, parties and good wishes from family and friends. Even if there will be tears, they will most likely be a sign of joy and happiness. But, have you ever heard of a bridal lament?

 
Tech-bro Psychotherapy: The Unintentionally Funny but Worthwhile Experiment of DIVINITY

I’ll start with a disclaimer that when I signed up to review this movie I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. The Fantastic Film Festival line-up appeared on the Farrago slack channel, and as I watched the opportunities for other films dwindle within minutes, I took a plunge and thought the title “Divinity” sounded pretty cool—“I like films that explore themes of religion,” I thought—no time to look up what it was about.

 
Which 2024 Horror Movies Should Survive Your Chopping Block?

Content Warning: References to Blood, Death or Dying, Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Violence

 
HOMESHAKE Concocts a Remedy for Distress on HORSIE

Throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks is what HOMESHAKE is all about. The long-time musical project of Peter Sagar transcends mere pleasant, unattentive listens; Sagar’s bedroom pop-adjacent sensibilities mirror his headspace during recording. Where his livelier and more celebrated releases such as 2017’s Fresh Air ooze with jovial indietronica and alt-R&B, Horsie is Sagar’s second release in 2024 following March’s CD Wallet, and a continuation of the latter’s heavier approach.

 
A Hypnotic Dance with YVES TUMOR at RISING

There’s very little we know of Yves Tumor. With aspects of their identity, like their birth name and age, being punctuated by mere question marks, Tumor is not only private but has cemented themself as a rising enigmatic star. If anything, they further prove it with their otherworldly debut in the Melburnian landscape of the Forum.

 
The Torturous Cringe of The Tortured Poets Department

From its very public conception, The Tortured Poets Department (TTPD) was an incredulous embarrassment. Following Midnights' album of the year win, Taylor Swift subsequently announced TTPD’s impending release date at the Grammys, eclipsing Annie Lennox's performance calling for a ceasefire in Gaza directly after.

 
Total Snoozefest: A Review of RISING’s 8/8/8: REST

If you happened to be drunkenly stumbling home past the Arts Centre in the witching hours of a cool Saturday morning you may note the serenity of the scene. Empty streets, only an Uber or two on the road. You certainly would not guess that just a few floors down a large group of strangers nestled in blanket hoodies are awake witnessing what can only be described as a fever dream.

 
“I Brought All the Instruments on Stage with Me”: ANDREW O’HAGAN at the MELBOURNE WRITERS FESTIVAL

Reading is an inherently solitary practice – it’s one of the main reasons why I enjoy it so much. But reading is also a largely social practice, with the themes and ideas in a novel becoming the source from which socio-political discourse can be generated.

 
Avatar: The Last Airbender (Netflix’s Version)

My favourite episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender is “The Ember Island Players”. It's not a particularly important episode. It’s the re-cap; little plot, mostly jokes, a good time before the epic four-episode finale. That’s not why I love it.

 
PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK: A marvellous debut from Barkly Theatre

CW: Violence, references to settler colonialism in Australia

 
Polarising Palates: A Review of RISING’s FOOD

Melbourne’s RISING Festival has returned for a fourth helping, serving up a delectable range of shows for its 2024 iteration. For those with a more adventurous palate, the festival presents FOOD, an “intimate dinner party performance” presented by American illusionist Geoff Sobelle.
The show’s hook? A giant table with plates and cutlery where the audience sits, while Sobelle performs the show as the establishment’s garçon, doing everything from taking fake orders to pouring wine.

 
Fassion 4 Passion Tells the Audience What We Already Know

When people make fun of people from Melbourne, there are a few recurring motifs in the jokes made via Facebook comments or Instagram reels:

Oat milk (depending on the age group),
Protesters (depending on the suburb),
Greyhounds (see both above),
And thrifters. The op shoppers. The secondhand fiends.

 
A Conversation with PAUL WILLIAMS

Paul Williams, star of Taskmaster NZ and a comedian in his own right, has been in Melbourne performing his new show Mamiya 7 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (check out the review here!). I had the chance to talk to him about his experience with stand-up, Taskmaster NZ, his opinions on vanilla ice cream, and his back-up career options.

 
"Brown women truly can do it all": BROWN WOMEN COMEDY at MICF

Unapologetically brown and delightfully besharam, Brown Women Comedy is back better than ever at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

 
Oz Xmas Comic-Con was the Christmas Miracle of 2023

Oz Xmas Comic-Con is a weekend long event held at the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre (MCEC). This was the convention’s second Christmas themed event. I attended their debut Xmas convention last year which was held at the Melbourne Showgrounds. I was relieved to find out it was not there this year because I found the Showgrounds to be too far removed from the city, so this year's event location was perfect and only a few minute walk from the bustling atmosphere of the city.

 
SPIDER-MAN 2: A Frustratingly Great Game

Now, after a solid 26 hours and 100% completing the game, was it worth it?

Yes, but it is also way more complicated than that.

 
THE SCARLET SUN's closing night a murder-mystery student theatre show-stopper

Four Letter Word Theatre’s original murder mystery musical comedy The Scarlet Sun is a fast, frenetic and hilarious production that showcases the talent of the University of Melbourne’s student performers with its impressive stagecraft and exciting musical storytelling. Their closing night performance was an event where everything fit together perfectly.

 
IRAGO is a daring journey of sound and dance unveiling the human condition

Irago 이라고 - Said So, performed at Kensingtown Town Hall from 13-14 October for Melbourne Fringe, is a contemporary dance piece that sets out as an exploration of closure, transformation, and community in a constantly changing world.

 
Baking Bread Children

Vulnerable child dough meets its parent(s).

 
NIGHT SWEAT at Fringe is a confident, confusing look at what it means to sleepwalk

Michelle McCowage shows us what it's like to sleepwalk.

 
Notes on Ferguson’s Set Design in Armfield’s DEATH OF A SALESMAN

Teaching student Sean gives the rundown on how the latest Melbourne production of 'Death of a Salesman' provides a vision for rethinking education's role in society.

 
Grindcore Good Enough to Risk a Concussion For: NAPALM DEATH and WORMROT at The Croxton 9/09

This was the first time I had experienced something resembling fear in the mosh, that oh-shit-if-I-don’t-go-easy-I-could-actually-wind-up-in-hospital-with-serious-injuries kinda fear which I have to assume is known chiefly to skaters, footballers and anyone who partakes of the various Melbourne party drugs that we all know are predominantly methamphetamine.

 
THE EIGHT MOUNTAINS (2022) is an ode to the beauty of male friendship

Adapting Paolo Cognetti’s novel, The Eight Mountains (Le Otto Montagne) begins with an ode to friendship and expands to a love of life in the face of being pulled away from what we love.

 
Why is Hollywood on strike?

Hollywood is all over the place right now. When the Writer Guild of America went on strike in May this year, it was pens down for any movies, TV shows, late-night and variety shows in Hollywood.

 
OPPENHEIMER is a Chilling, Brilliant Character Study that Lands Among Nolan's Best

Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer is a stark and brilliant character dissection of J. Robert Oppenheimer, the father of the atomic bomb

 
TALK TO ME: Goon of Fortune meets gouging out your own eyes

But that’s not Talk To Me (2023) by Aussie brothers (and YouTubers) Danny and Michael Philippou. The tone of Talk To Me is immediately established within a minute of the film’s start as we are struck with psychotic violence amidst a quintessentially Gen Z Aussie high school party. It’s intriguing, I can’t wait to see what’s going on. At first, I was worried because the horror came so early I wondered “How can it get worse from here?!” But it does. Continually.

 
CHAMELEON Plays with Imitation and Identity for a Warm, Insightful Show

The one-of-a-kind, one-man production Chameleon, starring the vibrant and charismatic Stewart Reeve, was truly a feast for the ears. Playfully toeing the intertwining line between standup comedy and musical, Reeve showcases his talent for vocal mimicry; calling to the helm a myriad of unmistakable voices and sounds identical to their originators, a performance at which an audience can do nothing but marvel; and of course, laugh.

 
How LITTLE WOMEN (2019) foreshadowed Greta Gerwig's creative evolution

All this happened, and more, as I found myself sniffing in moments of nothingness, wondering if I was more of a Jo or a Meg. However, in the wake of Barbie-mania, I left the cinema with a thought I wasn’t expecting. I couldn’t help but wonder how Little Women foreshadowed Gerwig’s move into the IP adaptation style of filmmaking unfolding before us.

 
Failing students back on HECS “at the first possible opportunity", says interim Accord report

Labor’s Federal Education Minister Jason Clare has committed to abolishing the 50% pass rate rule that currently prevents failing students from accessing HECS-HELP support as part of a suite of other higher education reforms designed to make the sector more equitable.

 
Oceanique: The Western Australian Twinduo that is the future of Australian folk.

Radio Fodder chats with indie folk duo Oceanique in support of their release show for debut album 'Would the Light Hold Me'.

 
NUS calls for National Duty of Care for University Students

The National Union of Students (NUS) is calling on the federal government to legislate a “National Duty of Care” at Australian universities, making tertiary institutions legally responsible for supporting and protecting student wellbeing.

 
TANZ at RISING: A Spectacle of Effort

TANZ pinpoints the subtleties of individual taste by putting everything on the table. There is a freedom begat by this intense exposure, which demands that you think something–anything–of it. You must consume everything or leave (or, occasionally, faint). And you must own your choice: you can walk out of TANZ, but everyone will see you do it.

 
Don’t Forget Lizzy Grant: Radio Fodder Reviews '...Ocean Blvd'

Radio Fodder Reviews Lana Del Rey's 'Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd' and its reflective breath of fresh air.

 
Navigating Chronic Dissatisfaction: Interview with Anna Smyrk on new EP ‘Cortisol and Blue Light’

Radio Fodder speaks to Anna Smyrk on their latest indie & dance EP, ‘Cortisol and Blue Light’, the feels of reconnection, and letting go of "thinking that everything is going to be great and perfect"

 
Tannhäuser – The slow-beating heart of German Romantic Opera

Tannhäuser, one of Richard Wagner's most acclaimed works, stands as a captivating testament to the composer's mastery of the opera genre. With its sweeping score, poetic libretto and compelling characters, this four-act opera takes, or rather attempts to take, its audience on an unforgettable journey through themes of love, redemption and the eternal struggle between passion and purity.

 
"I'm more here for the shoegaze": DEAFHEAVEN at Max Watt's 31/05

Deafheaven are often decried as “hipster black metal” for their amalgamation of the genre-trademark banshee shriek with the dreamy guitarwork of shoegaze: “blackgaze". To the credit of their critics, our first observation upon entering Max Watts was that this crowd did lean toward the “lanky dudes in My Bloody Valentine shirts” side of the hipster-black metal spectrum. “I’m more here for the shoegaze” were the words of one audience member.

 
THE GUEST: A (mostly) seductive dive into the world of the rich

The Guest is a fun and delicious dive into the lives of the affluent in a way where you don’t feel the need to envy them. It will curb your appetite for a scoop into the luxurious and excessive upper class with stunning and entrancing writing, as well as your desire to glimpse snapshots into the raw human experience. However, do not expect to connect with the characters in a meaningful way or climactic points in the plot.

 
Is ‘Baby J’ Enough to Save John Mulaney’s Likeability?

While I loved Mulaney for his pristine suit collection, his old-timey charm and, of course, his dog, Petunia, it was the way he spoke about his former wife, Anna Marie Tendler, that made his stage persona so endearing. So when that persona shattered, and the person I had decided he was was challenged, I was left confused, disillusioned and frustrated that he did not live up to the characterisation I attempted to enforce on him.

 
Nick White’s MICF Show GROW UP a Rundown on TikTok Humour

Nick White’s show Grow Up is a testament to the value of figuring out who you are and where you fit in the world. Or so he says. It is an overall funny and entertaining show but, unfortunately for this reviewer, overwhelming in its TikTok vibes.

 
Bursting at the Seams: FLESH DISEASE Struggles to Find Focus

Flesh Disease, staged at La Mama HQ, is many things. It’s a theatre performance, it’s a movement piece, it’s poetry, it’s a rumination on the lives of women and the trauma, memories and craft groups that colour those lives. At times, however, this wide scope muddies the waters, leading to a work that, while powerful, struggles to find any strong point of focus.

 
The GRIM in Ellen Grimshaw

As a sketch comedy, Grim commits to a single, multifarious act that titularly admits itself a derivative of its creator, Grimshaw, whilst proliferating a variety of imitative facades. Where stand-up panders the effect of the real, Grimshaw unapologetically rejects her claim to reality, embracing the effect of the fictive.

 
“Stand up, fight back!”: Students fight for climate justice in National Day of Action rallies
Students crowd together outside the steps of the State Library of Victoria holding banners that say

“When the air we breathe is under attack, what do we do?! Stand up, fight back!”

Student protesters gathered at the University of Melbourne’s Parkville campus to fight for climate justice on 17 March, led by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Environment Department as part of a wider National Day of Climate Action.

 
MFF's National Graduate Showcase: Clothes, Creativity and Panache

Watching a designer’s early-career work is an absolute privilege, which is exactly what this show was. From reimagining materials to re-envisioning household items, the designs were marvellous. We had picture frames, umbrellas and tents, among other things, serving as a focal point for the dresses and somehow everything translated well in the designs.

 
Aston By-Election Breakdown

If you weren’t fatigued enough after the federal and state elections of 2022, get ready for yet another political contest as the federal seat of Aston goes up for grabs once again. On April 1st, it’ll be April Fools for one of our major parties, as Alan Tudge passes the torch to a debut MP.

 
The fantastical realm of Italian superstition

When one thinks about Italy, art, history and of course food come to mind. However, there is so much more that lies beneath this rich culture. For the past seven months I have immersed myself in la dolce vita (the sweet life) and unearthed the unique realm of Italian superstition, a practice I didn’t realise is deeply embedded in their cultural norms.

 
'An Ostrich Told Me the World is Fake' (2021) Asks: Are We All Claymation?

This film isn’t subtle; it is hard to miss this glaring metaphor if you’re someone who has ever encountered a metaphor before. But anything that emphasises the work put into claymation and balances light-heartedness with the cruel realities of life is always worth a watch. An Ostrich achieves this, bringing a smile to the face with its charm despite the overwhelming pessimism of its message.

 
Are Robots Destroying our Education System?

As a child I thought that an AI apocalypse would look like a scene from Blade Runner or Wall-E. I did not predict that the greatest threat artificial intelligence presented to society would surround academic integrity.

 
The Quest for Intimacy in Lonesome (2022)

Lonesome doesn’t create a world to get lost in, but it is a movie to look at lovingly. A welcome addition to queer narratives surrounding the cowboy, if you’re willing to move past a few stumbles.

 
Radio Fodder’s Top 10 Releases of February

View Radio Fodder's curated playlist for the month of February 2023.

 
Review: Cherry, Midsummer Festival 2023

You are twelve years old in your childhood bedroom. Nobody understands you. You pull out your pink iPod Nano and press ‘play’. Katy Perry asks, “do you ever feel like a plastic bag?”

 
Memes and the Absurd: Modernity’s Opium of the People

On Youtube, there’s a video of author Patricia Lockwood reading her piece, The Communal Mind, at the British Museum. It’s witty, insightful, and unlike many written pieces about the internet, a completely immersive, self-aware, and nuanced piece of writing. You can watch it here. Just as a preface, I’ll be similarly carrying on in her absurd and confusing style, in some sort of a post-modern exploration of the internet and the meaning of life.

 
Vedic Hymn 121
The grey text 'Vedic Hymn 121', surrounded by soft clouds, a moon, a tree, a lantern and a book.

Cyberpunk fluoros, / And past it all… noise / noise and buzzing. / Who is the god we homage with our oblation?

 
College Admin

content warnings: sexual assault

 
Makeover Reality TV and its Gen Z’d, Aestheticised Reincarnation

I explicitly remember the excitement I felt in 2009, getting home from school, turning on the TV and tuning into ‘60-minute makeover’, ‘What not To Wear’, or something else of the like. As I perched on the edge of the couch in an anticipated fixation, I was eager to see how the “ugly duckling” or “fashion nightmare” at the beginning of the episode, was transformed into a new, prettier, more fashionable person at the conclusion of the show.

 
Spectacular Now: Self-Image, Social Media, and The Curse of Main Character Syndrome

Nowadays, it’s hard to find an image—whether online or in print—whose intended purpose isn't to promote an item or an idea. With the number of social media users exponentially increasing each year, companies and individuals wishing to capitalise on this growth have found new ways to garner frequent and continued patronage. By tracking user interactions and interests, new media algorithms generate a unique experience for each user.

 
Hippies, Conservatives, and Rock n' Roll

What was the soundtrack of your teen years? Mine was classic rock and its many derivatives. I don’t know what did it for me. Perhaps it was the wailing guitars, thundering drums, hammering baselines, and audacious vocals that felt especially electrifying to a fourteen-year-old Catholic schoolgirl. I fell quickly down the rabbit hole, collecting dusty old records that could trigger an asthma attack, and plastering my bedroom walls with the faces of bygone bands.

 
The Extraordinary Effect of #BookTok

#BookTok has had a significant influence on the sales of physical books and has disrupted the publishing industry. According to the NPD BookScan, which tracks the number of books sold, print book sales have increased by 9% from 757.9 million in 2020 to 825.7 million in 2021, the highest since they started tracking in 2004. NPD BookScan said, “no other form of social media has ever had this kind of impact on sales.”

 
The Plates I've Made: Three Vignettes on Dishes and Their Social Lives
An intricate painting of a bowl of mussels, pumpkin ravioli, and a cut loaf of banana bread.

We circuited between food and the erotic, making promises to roast pumpkins and burn butter for each other.

 
A W.I.P. Around the Workshop: Exposition Exposed
Two mirrored scenes of people in a blue living room: a TV flashes words at one, and the other reads.

The call’s coming from someone called ‘Plot-Critical Caller’, so unfortunately you have to answer.

 
Bird Hunting
A surprised-looking cartoon astronaut in a blue-and-purple suit, holding a card with a bird on it. I

“Now available,” the ad said. “Bird collector cards in every ZipFresh Ready Meal. Collect them all!”

 
triptych for elvis / i want to swallow my own piss
Three faceless outlines of Elvis performing distinctive dance moves.

on stage in honolulu / the music driving upwards out of his crotch / his arms knives cutting through the air.

 
The Mistreatment of Amber Heard
A drawing of Amber Heard pasted over newspaper clippings and translucent outlines of flowers.

You heard she deserved it. You p u l l e d her a p a r t taking her words and / spitting!! / on her!

 
Timesickness
Three blue-green silhouetted people, seen from behind, reach towards a red sun in a purple sky.

We believe their aim is to (re)militarise time, to make it politically explosive. This stance opposes Ministry policy.

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales from Late-Stage Hospitality—The Retiree
Four oil pastel drinks in various glasses, one green and the rest red, before a blue background.

She lingered on that final word. Every part of the restaurant felt like it was screaming at her: “Experience me!”

 
Ordinary Phenomena: Dog Days and Everydays
A smiling femme person in a yellow blouse drinking coffee alongside a dog with a puppuccino.

You give yourself experiences as gifts, letting your inner child sit in the space of your cerebrum.

 
Opening Night
Red, blue and green spotlights crossing and overlapping on a dark stage

LIGHTS! / camera! action! / theres something about staring at the sun the white burns
/ when they flash rhythmically

 
Edition Four: Satire-in-Brief
A waving cartoon cactus wearing a broad-brimmed hat, red bandana, and red glasses.

Vegan Destroys Entire Democratic System by Refusing Democracy Sausage

 
stone statues don't cry
To the left is Michelangelo's David, and to the right is a headless person tied down by an anchor

This glasshouse gallery has no ceiling, / and the blood of my callouses is / slicked, like hot oil paint on its walls.

 
pithecus
A person holds hands with a skeleton in a glass case, which they’ve smashed open with a hammer.

four feet of bipedal beauty, she follows a strict diet and is practically skin and bones—minus the skin.

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: A Happy Hearty Meal for a Great Big Adventure

I must confess, I’ve been finding myself bone-tired lately, and sluggish as a mealworm without a meal.

 
Bull Man
A glowing green cowboy silhouette crawls up a hill, reaching for a blue bull at the top.

Lights blurred like trailing spit. I fell hard. But I queued again. Be the cowboy, I thought. It wasn’t my thought.

 
god fucked me last night

god fucked me last night / or was it you? i couldn’t tell you apart / from my position on the floor.

 
Myki Fare War between the Liberals and Greens

With a daily full-fare ticket for metropolitan bus, train, and tram rides climbing to $9.20, struggling students have to allocate more budget to public transport. Vanessa Chan evaluates the public transport policies of Labor's two main rivals, the Liberal/National Coalition, and the Victorian Greens.

 
Two dogs on a yellowed, upturned plate
Two sad-looking dogs huddle together in a field of yellow wheat under a dark, cloudy sky.

Father / talks to the fields like talking to you, / tills the soil like knowing you.

 
The (Para)Social Network

While some of these investments can be harmless—like the celebrity crush Pinterest board I have been cultivating since I was 13, and the radio show that spawned from these romantic infatuations—the inhumanity of other parasocial behaviours of mine has recently reared its ugly head. So, where do you draw the line? And why do I have a sickening feeling that I’m only going to end up ignoring it?

 
Really, this is how we’re ending things? A Guide to Series Finales

It’s no surprise that when our beloved TV shows come to an end, we’re left bereft. We’re left standing there, more awkward than a contestant on The Bachelor who didn’t receive a rose, unsure of what happens next and trying not to make a scene.

But what’s the best way to end a show? How can you call off the relationship but still stay friends without the stressful will-they-won’t-they of Ross and Rachel?

 
One-Sentence Fairy Tales
Black-and-white art of two foxes in a forest, dressed in silk, playing the mandolin.

When my incisor wobbles—pulls— falls, I slip it under my pillow, and wake to a bed full of pansies.

 
One-Sentence Nightmares
Black and blue buildings with windows lit, a cat in one. A shadow-monster emerges from a grate.

I peeled off my mask and my face came with it, layer upon layer until nothing was left but an empty void.

 
A W.I.P. Around the Workshop: The Entangled Character
A glowing blue sketched outline of a face and hand on the dappled surface of water.

We are constructing a character together as the words appear on the page right now. The character is a version of me.

 
She the Sea
A wave striped with shades of dark blue. Its white crest curls, and bubbles rise within it.

The water in those submerged vessels / once was in the sea. Just like / I once was a particle in my grandmother

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales From Late-Stage Hospitality—The Frozen Margaritas
A birds-eye view of two glistening, pink margarita glasses, each with a tiny person inside.

Summer always comes shyly to Melbourne, where patches of sun peek between weeks of dismal skies and harsh wind.

 
fourteen things I found in my notes app, in no particular order
A abstract, geometric sketch of a naked femme person traced with a highlighter-yellow glow.

I’m very drunk on the 109 tram right now and the sunset is so pink behind all the houses it looks like a green screen

 
“Change the Age”: Report Published on Centrelink’s Failure to Mitigate Youth Poverty
Black poster with the NUS logo and orange text: 'Locked out of Youth Allowance’

The NUS has condemned the Australian government for “failing hundreds of thousands of 18 to 21 year-olds".

 
God Fashioned Into Woman The Rib

For a young Greek hero to prove himself, there was one thing he had to do. I’m not talking about slaying monsters, sleeping with enchantresses, or kidnapping royal daughters. From Hercules to Theseus to Bellerophon, the stories of Greek heroes share one interesting overlap: each of them proved themselves by battling an Amazon warrior and emerging victorious.

 
Review: Book of Love (2022)

Book of Love is a bizarre film. Some of the choices made in its production turn what would have been a predictable rom-com with a clever premise into a truly unusual watch.

 
DEIFIED - A Review, Melbourne Fringe Festival 2022

“Performance art is so gauche!”

 
Joss Whedon: Fuck you

And so, from the bottom of teenage Sophie’s heart—fuck you, Joss Whedon. We’ve got it from here.

 
Presidential Candidate Profile: Conor Barnes
A purple graphic with large block text, 'UMSU ELECTIONS: PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE DEBATE'.

Meet Conor Barnes (he/him), the UMSU presidential candidate for the brand new ticket of ‘Rebuild’.

 
Under the Apple and the Pear: Of Edwardian Arts and Kusama Yayoi

As I read several tediously long articles to alleviate the boredom of isolation, I came across one describing the life and artwork of Kusuma Yayoi. An acclaimed Japanese artist, her most significant achievement seemed to be having entered herself into the psychiatric ward of a Tokyo hospital. The words used are "psychiatric ward," but they might as well have been "mental asylum", "lunatic asylum", or "bedlam". Search though I did, not one description of her artwork caught my notice.

 
Sad Girl: The Soundtrack of an Era

Music made by melancholic women is nothing new. The 1950s’ darling, Billie Holiday, has been credited with the popularisation of the ‘torch’ song, a sentimental ballad for unrequited love. Folk singers like Carole King and Joni Mitchell rose in the 60s and 70s. The 90s saw the surge of Fiona Apple, who remains a key figure in the Sad Girl genre today.

 
The Panchatantra: A Life Kit

My brother is trying to teach me to drive a manual car; we go around and around the empty lot down at the local high school. When I was younger, my band teacher taught us a trick on the snare drum, where you throw the drumstick in the air and catch it again without interrupting the drumbeat. He said if you have the coordination to do this, you have the coordination to drive a manual car.

 
Column: Mango Friends

“Would you like to play with us?”

These words were to become the earliest memory of friendship seven-year-old Chathu would remember from Australia—the first time someone had offered to be friends with her after she had begun her new life abroad.

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition Two 2022
A cartoon person painted with the Russian flag scowls at an upset person as the Ukrainian flag.

Israel Recognising Ukraine’s Sovereignty Proves No One Knows the Definition of Irony

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: Making Fiction Come to Life!
Selena reads a book from which pastel bubbles fly, forming an image of her lying with a femme lover.

Maybe I could even change the very course of events and add a whole new level of spice to my favourite works of fiction!

 
“Where’s the essay, OP?”: TikTok is ADHD Culture, Tumblr is Autism Culture

It is a truth universally acknowledged—at least among those in the know—that different neurotypes will naturally gravitate towards different social media platforms.

Before taking a deep dive into cyberspace, let’s backtrack a little and start with the basics of neurotypes and the neurodiversity movement. The term ‘neurotype’ arose out of the neurodiversity movement, the founding ideology of which was kickstarted by Autistic Australian sociologist Judy Singer in 1998.

 
The Rise of Eco-anxiety in Generation Z: How Climate Change is Affecting our Mental Health

In a world constantly bombarded with news about floods, earthquakes and bushfires, it is no surprise there has been a rise in eco-anxiety over the past few years.

Are you someone who has difficulty falling asleep because you are constantly thinking about the impacts of climate change, or do you feel a sense of doom at the rising sea levels? Have you ever felt that fear as if you were on a sinking planet and there is nothing you can do to save it? If so, you may have experienced eco-anxiety.

 
Happiness is a Warm Gun: Firearm Culture at Home and Abroad

Last month in America, the gun manufacturer Remington reached a legal settlement with the families of those who lost their lives in the 2012 Sandy Hook Massacre. $73 million will be shared equally amongst the families who took Remington to court, hoping to establish their legal culpability for the massacre. This settlement is not, of course, adequate compensation for what these families have lost.

 
I No Longer Want to be That Girl: A Deconstruction of Wellness Culture

The emergence of that girl culture is one of the internet's best-kept secrets. As the poster child of wellness and productivity, that girl will never be spotted without a matcha latte or some plant-based drink in her hand. Apart from said drink, her other trustworthy companions might include her $65 yoga mat and a black Moleskine journal for morning reflections.

 
Orbits
A slightly blurred, as if to appear three-dimensional, digital artwork of planets and stars. Two pla

The sun brines in a sticky chicken broth / watching one to eight float in her belly

 
Ordinary Phenomena: Fireflies in the Suburbs
An illustration of a street lamp with a triangular beam of light illuminating a circle on the ground

It's suburban living, the sparks from the blistering street lights competing with nettled crickets

 
Like a Snake Eating its own Tail: BPD, Non-Binarism and TikTok, a Tarot Reading

Sometimes, we get complacent. Even with things we care about.

A couple of months ago, at twenty years old—already seven years into my gruelling mental health journey—I was diagnosed with ADHD, generalised anxiety disorder, OCD and PTSD by a psychiatrist. As you can imagine, broadcasting this on a platform like Farrago—with a readership that I actually have to interact with—is pretty fucking terrifying.

 
Films for the Directionless Twenty-Something Year-Old

Film Recommendations from Farrago’s Non-Fiction Staff-Writing Team (and Ivan).

 
Data in the Dark: a look at COVID corruption

As far as rich, highly vaccinated countries are concerned, Omicron is a relic of yesteryear. With pandemic restrictions fading as cases continue to plummet, for what feels like the hundredth time in the last two years, a select few dare to dream of returning to an almost-forgotten state of interconnectivity "post-Covid." However, the catastrophic moral failures of the pandemic should not slip our collective memory anytime soon.

 
Grandmother Rose | Blackout Poetry Competition, Second Place
A dark-red-and-white illustration of a teacup in front of a teapot with leaves and flowers coming ou

She bends slow, steady, tense my emotions. She could always read the inevitability of my future.

 
i | Blackout Poetry Competition, First Place
An illustration of a disembodied torso, with a background of blue glued tinfoil on the left side and

o will my heart ripple as i float in the night, on the wind like everything is u n I

 
A quick recap of marginal Chisholm

If you are under 25, Chisholm is probably identifiable to you by Zero Mode in the suburb of Box Hill and Glenny Kebabs in Glen Waverley—other than these two joints, there’s really not much else happening there.

 
“Old umpires just strip and don’t give a shit”: The AFL’s need for systemic gender equality change

To fully realise gender equality, the AFL, local footy leagues and fans must reflect on their contributions to the unsafe culture experienced by report participants.

 
You’re not that guy pal, trust me: politicians and sports

The sporting field is home to many of Australian politicians’ greatest gaffes. Yet they keep coming back—why?

 
Farrago’s definitive guide to coffee on campus.

Our campus has a surplus of cafés throughout its buildings and hidden in little pockets. Many of these have changed since 2019, with notable favourites the Brew Sisters (a moment of silence for my triple shot flat white for $3.50

 
After years of neglect, is Labor’s promise of cultural policy enough to save the Australian arts?

It’s always a good sign when one party announces their cultural policy five days before the election and the other party doesn’t have a cultural policy at all.

 
Major parties with no plans to fix the housing market this election

Ultimately, until the toxic politics of homeownership are tackled in direct and unabashed fashion, there can be no expectation that this housing crisis will be resolved.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #8: Democracy and Integrity

What do the parties and candidates say about improving democracy and trust in politics?

 
Growing Up a Misogynist: how I learnt to overcome my internalised misogyny and love Taylor Swift

Then the song comes to a slow fade and your heart rate increases as you anxiously await the next song. Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble. The cute boy’s relaxed nonchalance contorts into a look of disgust, and you panic to ensure he knows you’re not like the other girls singing along. You could never like Taylor Swift and you think it’s stupid that these other girls do.

 
IN DEFENCE OF IGNORANCE

Social media is brimming with cultural commentary, political movements and aesthetic infographics. The belief is that if you are not up to date, then you don’t care. It is purported that if you are not informed, then you are part of the problem. I want to challenge this misconception. The expectation imposed on us today is that we should all be arriving at some final destination of intellectual enlightenment. This is, of course, a fictional destination. Today, I will provide you with a defence

 
TikTok on the Historical Clock

To understand the effect TikTok is having on the way pop music is being written, it is worth looking at what a TikTok hit actually is—a more complicated proposition than it might appear. A song that becomes a hit on TikTok often finds subsequent chart success; if the artist is a relative unknown, major label interest is often quick to follow. But all this is happening after the fact of its initial virality—and it isn’t the artist that goes viral, nor even the song itself.

 
Bedrooms: a reflection of our journey growing up

Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… ah, crap. It’s 2010. Once again, your nine-year-old self has lost track of how many glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling you've counted in a bleak attempt to fall asleep. Skip to 2022. Your twenty-one-year-old self still counts the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. This time around, most of the stars have fallen off. Your earphones are blaring Royals by Lorde, and you relive the peaceful days of being twelve.

 
Formula One returns: ‘sometimes it takes removing a mark to leave one’

The black and papaya liveries of the McLaren racing team showcased the sport’s first Indigenous sponsor, DeadlyScience.

 
Teal Independent Monique Ryan No Longer the Underdog in Kooyong

As the 2022 election draws closer, so too does the contest between the two candidates, in what Frydenberg has admitted will be the "fight of [his] political life".

 
The “Filipino GBF”: Puzzle Pieces of a Rich Filipino History

Again, the question popped up. If gender fluidity was present in the Tagalog language and the pre-colonial Philippines, why then do the majority of the older generation Filipinos lean towards homophobic mindsets?

It’s simple, really.

Colonisation.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 6(22)

Do people outside UMSU read these?

 
Review: Anthony Locascio’s ‘Don’t Call me a Wog’!, MICF 2022

It’s opening night. Ten minutes before the show, Andrew Locascio pokes his head through the ruby-velvet curtain. With a cheeky grin to his awaiting audience, he says, “don’t worry guys, the show’s purely rhetorical”. Assured that this wasn’t one of those awkward audience participation situations, the atmosphere felt tangibly at ease. Before even beginning his show, Locascio had managed to dispel discomfort - and he maintained this throughout the evening.

 
Union House Theatre is back with Nora: A Doll’s House.

Union House Theatre (UHT) returns to campus this week with Stef Smith’s Nora: A Doll’s House, a radical retelling of Henrik Ibsen’s classic A Doll’s House, and a crucial and relevant tale about women’s rights throughout the last century.

 
Review: Tom Mac at the Gaso

Mac truly knows how to craft a great set and create a beautifully intimate, yet energetic atmosphere. If you have an interest in Australian folk rock, I’d highly recommend checking out his music.

 
A WIP Around the Workshop: Magical Realism - A Genre of Defiance
A collection of red, green and white outlines of objects on a black background, beside the edge of a

When people find out that I write, their inevitable first question is: “What do you write?”

 
Pay for a Pandemic
An excerpt from 'Pay for a Pandemic', a found poem, with a beige-orange gradient background. The tex

we’re in another stage / we have to live with this / this virus / it’s a test / someone's always going to pay for it

 
We, the Fleas
An illustration of a tree and a headstone on a sharp cliff to the right, and roots that become snake

My best cursive sits on a headstone / We wear name tags to bed / As if the death-nurse does not know us

 
May It Please The Court: What The Law Gets Wrong About Sex

Almost universally, female sexual pleasure is de-centred and depicted as a lesser counterpart to male sexual pleasure. This phenomenon manifests in the orgasm gap between heterosexual women and men—a study found that only 6% of women orgasm every time they have sex, yet it remains the expectation that sex isn’t over until a man cums. A gendered perception of pleasure has leeched into all facets of daily life.

 
Review: The Duke (2022)

I am calling it: this is the best feel-good film that I have had the pleasure of watching for as long as I can remember.

Olivia Ryan's review of 'The Duke' at Cinema Nova

 
Students' Council Round Up: 5(22)

I walk... a very lonely road...

 
Da Budget Breakdown

To dorks like me, the federal budget is like Christmas come early. We all sit around the fireplace and wait for Santa (Josh Frydenberg) to deliver us a ton of goodies.

 
Satan Wears a Bra
An illustration of a femme person sitting on a tiled floor, placing a cigarette in an ashtray. Their

You are an observer / of calloused hands on brass strings / Crimson plastic, nostrils pierced in backyards

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: How to Summon a Demon Friend
An illustration of a purple owl with glowing yellow eyes and outstretched wings, sitting atop a pent

Here I’m going to show you some simple tricks of the trade to summoning a demon to the mortal realm.

 
arrival
A thin, knobbly, twisting tree truck extends from the bottom left side of the image and transitions

now i have moved out for good. / farewell fairy bread, farewell forehead / kisses, farewell mum’s wedding rings

 
On The Ideology of Diet

We throw the phrase ‘you are what you eat’ around so much that I think we forget that it’s true. Do you ever really think about what it means to eat?—about what happens when you eat? The intimacy of it all? Your food becomes one with you when digestion reduces it to its base components and repurposes them to build your cells. Long before we discovered that science, we were thinking up ways to eat “correctly”.

 
Column: Reflections on the “Autistic Genius”

Within fiction, the portrayal of autistic characters most often adheres to that of the ‘autistic genius’. While it is a fraught activity to pathologise and diagnose fictional characters, there's value in comparing these famous representations of neurodivergence in fiction by doing just that. 

The first instalment in Ishan Morris-Gray's Column, 'Reflections on the “Autistic Genius”'

 
Domesticated: Feminism in past and future at the George Paton Gallery

The George Paton Gallery returns this 2022 with upcoming student exhibition Domesticated,.

 
Review: Her Love Boils Bathwater, Japanese Film Festival 2022

Her Love Boils Bathwater (2016) is a charming Japanese drama by Ryota Nakano. It is a film about the benevolent power of family, womanhood, and most importantly, motherhood.  Equal parts comedy and tragedy, it’s the kind of film that will lift your spirits, only to break your heart, only to lift your spirits once again.

 
A Love Letter to the Transgender Community

We see so much trans pain and suffering, but I promise you: trans joy exists, and it is there, and it is beautiful

 
Gaslight, Gatekeep, Greenwash

To nobody’s surprise, #Shein(doesn’t)Care.  

Capitalising on the global push towards sustainability, numerous fast fashion brands have launched marketing campaigns or undertaken attempts to rebrand themselves as eco-warriors. Claiming to be sustainable is a double-edged sword that mega-brands are (un)successfully trying to wield in their favour.

 
Review: Grief, Art and Chekhov in Drive My Car

Co-written and directed by Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car is a cinematic reconstruction of Haruki Murakami’s original short story of the same title. Hamaguchi is an artisan with ennui, wielding suspended moments of tension effortlessly to dramatic effect. Building on Murakami’s template, he has created a story about the innate human tendency to mindlessly move forward, a secret and often hidden desire to continue living despite feeling like we don’t deserve to.

 
UMSU Queer Department Pulls Out of Midsumma Pride March

The UMSU Queer Department has announced that they will no longer attend the Midsumma Festival Pride March.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 2(22)

Giddy Up! Yeehaw! First Council of the new year!

 
Join the Student Representative Network this year!

Applications to join the Student Representative Network (SRN) are currently open until 31 January.

 
“What if I just suddenly stop playing?”: On Stella Farnan

Farrago reporter Aeva Milos sits down with local musician Stella Farnan.

 
Burning Brighter: The La Mama Theatre Returns

After a devastating electrical fire in 2018, the theatre community banded together to rebuild La Mama.

 
Justin Baré resigns as UMSU CEO

In a statement released today, Justin Baré has resigned from his position as CEO of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) and will be leaving at the end of this year.

 
The body in motion: UN-SPORTS-MAN-LIKE by Nicholas Currie

Drawing from the tradition of art not as institution but as record, as history, Currie’s debut exhibit UN-SPORTS-MAN-LIKE revels in the body, in dance, and performance, as well as sport and manual labour.

 
Close Contact (CWC Audio/Music — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Lockdown Calamity (CWC Audio/Music — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
I was thinking. (CWC Audio/Music — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
City Monsters 2 (CWC Photography — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Untitled (CWC Art — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
 
2021 Edition Five: SATIRE-IN-BRIEF

Phew! Nadia Bartel will not face any criminal charges after Victoria Police decide they cannot possibly determine what that suspicious white substance was...

 
An open letter to all student politicians

As sleek Facebook frames are slowly being removed from the profile pictures of university students in their early twenties, and social media feeds are returning to normal from constant ‘vote for me’ content, we can celebrate that another season of student elections has ended.

 
Our Stories in Numbers: The representation of victim survivors in the National Student Safety Survey

cw: mentions of sexual assault and harassment, institutional neglect


From 6 September to 3 October, Universities Australia—the country’s peak corporate body of higher education—ran the National Student Safety Survey (NSSS). Conducted by Dr. Anastasia Powell (RMIT), and the Social Research Centre, the survey is aimed at “encouraging students to share about their experiences of sexual harassment, sexual assault or unwanted sexual behaviour.”

 
 
University of Melbourne reverses WAM policy despite mass petition

A petition conducted by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Education Department recently called for the extension of Weighted Average Mark (WAM) adjustments for Semester One 2021. However, over 20,000 signatures failed to convince the University to review the importance of the compassionate policy to both domestic and international students.

 
"Please don’t ask if we’ve tried yoga”: Students fighting for disability support

Despite the University’s push to make learning accessible, through programs such as SEDS and Access Melbourne, there have yet to be endorsements from students that these programs are appropriate. Instead, students feel silenced and powerless in an institution that should be prioritising its student body and ensuring an equal and inclusive environment.

 
Zoom or Doom?

Yet another COVID semester has gone by. However, this time we sat at an awkward halfway point between online and in-person courses and activities—a strange place between skepticism and hope for the end of the pandemic.

 
Op-ed: UniMelb urged to optimise student experience of using Okta Verify

However, the roll-out of Okta Verify has been problematic. Failure to install the extra application prevents us from logging into Canvas to submit an assignment on the due date, along with stopping us from attending Zoom lessons on time.

 
Australia's Refugee Friends

Mostafa “Moz” Azimitabar, a Kurdish refugee from Iraq, sought asylum in Australia in 2013. Moz was initially transferred to Papua New Guinea, where he was held for six years. 

Moz was then brought to Australia for medical help under the Medevac Bill. Upon arrival, he was first held in the Mantra Hotel, before being transferred to the Park Hotel, which lies approximately just 100m from the University’s Parkville campus. He was finally released in January 2021, after 2,737 days...

 
Connection in the Time of COVID-19

COVID-19 has periodically forced both official University events and various student organisations’ events online, bringing unique challenges to event organisers and educators. Despite efforts to maintain normalcy, these changes have undoubtedly changed how students interact with each other, for better or for worse.

 
 
The Cheerful Pessimist

Aptly titled 'all the kids are depressed', Jeremy Zucker’s not-so-cheery 2018 hit seems to read our minds. The sentiments he sings about are ones that we all, as a generation, like to joke about, laugh about and, clearly, listen to music about, if my 2020 Spotify Wrapped was anything to go by.

 
Melbourne’s Last Video Rental Store

One of my fondest childhood memories is going to my local video store each school holidays to borrow videos, and then DVDs as technology advanced. Of course, the ‘local’ in ‘local video store’ changed every few years as the stores I treasured gradually closed. They were replaced with either supermarkets and gift stores or were simply left boxed up, only leaving a handful of operating video stores around Melbourne.

 
Overseas Student Update

Faced with the prospect of yet another semester abroad, overseas international students face immense challenges and uncertainty.

 
ADHD, Heartbreak, and a Stream of Consciousness (Barely)

content warning: mental health

1. The window outside my office opens into the branches of a big, strong tree. It’s autumn: the season of me staring outside the window and getting lost in its ochre. Sunlight filters through the leaves and falls onto my hand. Ugh, I want to be loved like that - like warmth and fall and softly filtered sunlight on brown skin.

 
Review: Endless Summer Afternoon

The Long, Long Afternoon by Inga Vesper is both a razor-sharp crime novel and an incisive portrait of race and gender in late 1950s American suburbia. Sunnylakes is an upper-class district on the outskirts of San Francisco, and visions of the town in heady summer suburbs envelop the reader–two-story houses with green lawns and white picket fences, white husbands with white-collar jobs and white housewives. In an environment where appearances are everything, the sudden disappearance of a housew

 
On Ordinary Joys and Mental Health

This column has thus far spun around the soft idea of joy. Joy in a coffee cup, joy in a surfboard, joy in the little
things. Joy in stability, good food and the people we love.

 
a note on growing up

The polaroids are under my bed. They’re safe inside a shoe box I don’t remember buying. They lie awake with me. I wish I could fast forward through this part.

My room: dark with the curtains half-pulled, the window cracked open just enough for the echoes of the city and engines roaring from a distance to reach my ears. Now that I live alone, it helps me sleep. The noise is like a song playing in the background.

 
Pseudoscience Sells: Health is not only for rich white women

What is it with Gwyneth Paltrow and vaginas? From a candle that smells like her vagina, to vaginal jade eggs and vaginal steaming, she brings up taboo topics and masquerades as a lifestyle expert just for recommending eccentric products. While Paltrow is an actress and an entrepreneur, she’s definitely not a doctor or scientist. She raves about products for her own profit, similar to other wellness companies that prioritise sales over the health of their customers.

 
The Love Witch: Your Ultimate Fantasy

Anna Biller’s The Love Witch (2017) waxes poetic about the 1960s, sporting an aesthetic that pays tribute to the iconic low-budget horror films of the period. The aspect ratio is altered, the lens is rose-coloured and overwhelmingly pastel, and the voice of our female lead Elaine drips with honey like an incantation, in the style of the quintessential Hollywood actresses of her time.

 
Scenes from the Supermarket

Working in The Supermarket will dispel the myth that an hour contains 60 minutes. Like a casino, it is full of space, empty of time; no clocks, no sunlight, no centre. As a customer entering The Supermarket, you are to walk a predetermined path through the produce, deli, bakery, and meat departments before the dairy and grocery sections open into two alternate paths. The paths ultimately fold back into each other, producing a fake labyrinth that would even make Borges a little proud. But I don

 
The Craft: Ours is the Power

Released in 1996, The Craft came out at a pivotal time for the representation of teenage girls in Western media. Unfortunately, it’s not the kickass feminist film our rose-coloured nostalgia says it is.

 
Ordinary Joys: The Restaurant Institution

Pelligrini’s is an institution because it has been there for so long, unwavering amidst constant change. It is a time capsule to the past. The wood plank menu is the same one which appears in photos from the 1960s. Waiters have divided up tiramisus with sharp lines in this century, and the last.[...]

 
Cinemas Buckle Under the Weight of the Netflix Empire

Will Hollywood blockbuster-type films continue to use Netflix as their outlet, or will they return to their rightful spot on the big screen?

 
A Review of Women in Fiction and Men in Non-fiction

I didn’t plan to be reading a classic by Virginia Woolf and a biography of Alexander Hamilton at the same time.

 
Hannah Montana: The Icon, 15 Years Later

2006 is ingrained in my memory as a time of wanting to transition away from early childhood media. In my then- six-year-old mind, gone were the days of Hi-5, The Wiggles and The Hooley Dooleys; I was craving content that I saw as more mature and less condescending, even though I couldn’t possibly have articulated that at the time. It was in 2006 that I grew obsessively fascinated with Disney Channel; despite not having the holy grail that was Foxtel, I became a fanatical Saturday Disney viewer

 
to all my women, who are all of you

content warning: sexual assault, rape, child groomingI always dream of the same house.
I remember all 21 houses I’ve lived in, but I only dream of this one.
I dream that I’m standing on the porch, watching a tsunami crash in.[...]

 
It’s Complicated: The Oversimplification of ADHD

content warning: mental illness

It was past midnight, and I was packing for a school trip. The room looked like a tornado had hit. Clothes were strewn around the floor. Random toiletries were tossed carelessly about. Electronics sat in a tangled heap. And there, amidst all the chaos, was a small attempt at organisation—an abandoned, half-checked packing list.

 
Tinfoil Torso

my tinfoil torso will crumple, my paddle pop ribs, snapping, will pierce my limping heart then, if not dead, crippled, I will let out one last fluttery sigh from my cardiac-cavitied chest

 
Observations at a Ball

She let the pen fall from her hand and closed the book, wanting the unfinished story out of sight. The book was filled with unfinished stories. Characters stuck without endings.

 
The World of Dragons: The Stone Dragon

“La Gargouille was a great dragon who settled in Rouen. He ate livestock and farmers alike, and when he flew, his wings caused gusts of wind so strong all the crops were flattened. To shed his scaled hide, he rubbed his body against a mighty church. Stone crumbled and the spire collapsed. When he lay in the Seine to bathe, he blocked the flow of water as readily as any dam, and the river overflowed and flooded the city.”

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: Deep in the Waiting Space

Jerry: Has that happened to you, Flo? Have you opened a door or refocused your eyes to see the change in sunlight’s sort of... scratched the familiarity from something?

 
Major Character Death

They drink coffee under ruined lime trees. There is a goat on the roof of the car. Three faces. One for me, one for you, one for everyone else. She’s got a couple joints loose, she said. His forehead folds like a concertina.

 
Waiting for the train

As far back as I can remember, my favourite birthday was wrapped in a family road trip from Melbourne to Brisbane. Slow hours of gleeful exhales filled Mum and Dad’s silver Holden Commodore as the sky morphed from Wonga Pigeon-grey to Kingfisher-gold.

 
Mount Martha Breeze

It’s Mount Martha breeze, fresh cut grass
and salty seas.

 
The Piano

Sprawling from the floorboards, the monochrome floorboards, sounds of a dead girl singing.

 
2021 Edition Four Flash Fiction: Tragedies

Money tastes like sweat dripping from the armpit of a vogue model. Rarely does one get the opportunity to savour such a distinct flavour[...]

 
WHAT’S ALL THIS?

For Helen, host of Radio Fodder’s What’s All This? and Master of Music student at the University of Melbourne, Victoria’s lockdowns saw her deep dive into books, videos and films on a quest to answer life’s big questions.

 
Seashells

Cold against my cheek
they curl around my ears like vines
whispering sweetly

 
Lover Light

Some say love is complacent
a street lamp flickering
dark gutters, rainswept pavement
an old tree withering
My lover’s light is nascent
turning dark skies dazzling
the grass, a soft green crescent
the drizzle heralding spring

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: Projections

Do you remember those days, those long nights arm in arm?
They’d tied them behind us some slithering soaring in the cold moon chant, it was cold.
And tendrils would take us, remember? Curl sway to the back wall of a cave until the first
night you grabbed my arm,
as we pushed with our legs and flew and flew and flew and flew and flew.

 
on my way to uni

i ride down my street and wind threatens
to throw itself through me but i fight it
unlike autumn’s husked leaves,
which scutter under parked cars like scared cats.

 
Broken

Same questions over and over.
i go be a broken record for the system.
i was a broken record before, anyways.
Repeating the word “yes” Repeating the words “i love you” Repeating the word “sorry”

 
Dinnerguests

Supper wore a shawl of stars
mother, a stole with yellow pansies
The posture was superb
words gleamed with rightness
butterknives shone in their dishes like a well-loved swimming hole

 
Reunion Tour

22 December —Three o’clock, maybe, saw Henry today. Friend (?) from highschool. Thought: am so lonely, should try hang out w/ someone, assuage loneliness. Did not work—just spent day observing someone else’s loneliness, remained lonely myself.

 
Stifling

On Wednesday, we stayed indoors all day pretending we weren’t there. Shadows ran long down the curtained hallways, and we, goldfish yearning for a shaft of sunlight, climbed, twisted, contorted under windowpanes.

 
Face of Silver

The magnifying lens made his muddy eyes bulbous, beetle-like and curious. He was enraptured by the watch, glued to the metal with a practised eye, while his gnarled, liver-spotted hands were gentle with the tarnished brass.

 
Rude Vibes at Club Retro

We’re in—but also completely sober. And no matter how many suspiciously sticky shot glasses of tequila you throw back, an uninebriated first impression of Club Retro is something you never really shake.

 
Missing Noah

He perks up a little as he unzips the container. It will keep him distracted as we drive past the raspberry farm—not that he needs distracting. He’s such a compliant child. So easy to love.

 
The Lake House

It was a portent, perhaps, that she glimpsed through the window. The rain cast a muted grey pallor on the darkness, making the figure appear little more than an indistinct black shadow. Only his face gleamed white as he looked up at her.

 
OK ZOOMER!

Among Radio Fodder’s incredible 2021 line-up is the Gen Z-focused, Fitzpatrick award-nominated show OK Zoomer!. Created by long-time friends Joanna (Jo) Guelas and Jordan Bassilious, the vision for the show arose from their realisation that Gen Z lacked representation in the media.

 
Taylor’s Cardigan

In a big city of unmatched rivalry
I was picked from a sea of threads
My intricate weaves were pure ivory
I fitted perfectly to her frayed Keds

 
Homemade

The summer was hot
You stewed strawberries I grew
small wild mountaineers
carefully skimmed scum from the top
mixed with good cream, sugar and salt
and left to freeze overnight

 
The Great Famine

Crags of rock crumble like
cracked toffee under the sun.
Crops fester under peat and withered soil until there’s nothing left
but dried clumps of dirt.

 
Uncle Ditch’s Clockwork Ark

Uncle Ditch’s whole mad enterprise started with one dead cockatoo which he found out on the nature strip one bin night. The thing was snowy and perfect. Not a single feather out of place, wrinkly lids half-closed over beady eyes, beak ajar. Like it was stuck in the moment of going to sleep, Ditch said.

 
Clitoris I and II

my under-belly orchid
grows in greenhouse warmth— dirt-grubbing fingers
explore soil’s dampness

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: "How the f*ck did I end up in tiny mug-village?"

vanilla softens my lips. muscles curl around the handle, resist the weight, heat, then roll into a touchdown, tea drops spattering the wall of mugs.

 
Breaking My Mask

content warning: ableism, references to suicide
Until recently, my wardrobe was filled with dozens of different faces. Every single day, I would choose one carefully; some were so ostentatious that nobody dared draw near me, others so dull I slipped through crowds unnoticed.

 
Poemata

Red deerskinned vellum filled with cream and soft grey eyes—Minerva and her owl.
Sweet and gentle moon, turn your face to me, and gift me shining silver.

 
Boarding Pass

tear
my bond
stepping
in line
tear
my pass
boarding in ten
nine
eight
seven
six months
away

 
2021 Edition Two Flash Fiction: Horrror Stories

You feel your breath quicken and the fear leave your body as your skin tingles. There’s nowhere to go now, no words coming out of your mouth. The heat spreads over your chest like a sweltering rash.

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: My Coat-Rack is Called Jerry

the stranger stands guard, whistling a sea shanty. a stray blowfly perches at the centre of his nose,
spreading chimes like cracked glass.

 
Hunger

Run the knife along the bone to release the
Wild-caught
Soft peaks
As thinly as possible

 
Stop the Liberals, Join the Campaign against the Robert Menzies Institute!

The federal government, led by the Liberal Party, is bludgeoning universities. Since the onset of the pandemic, they have excluded thousands of university workers from JobKeeper, ramped up fees for select undergraduate courses while slashing funding for tertiary education, and, in the latest federal budget, abandoned universities. They have left staff and students out to […]

 
VCA students lodging complaint to Victorian Ombudsman in fight for fee relief

Students of the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are planning to lodge a formal complaint to the Victorian Ombudsman about the University of Melbourne’s alleged failure to provide the quality of education promised to them. Students have turned to the Ombudsman for help with their fee relief campaign as they believe they have been […]

 
Fangirls and Fantasies: Why we Love to Hate Twilight

It’s 2008: the era of galaxy-print leggings and Club Penguin. The radio incessantly plays Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed A Girl’ and ‘Viva La Vida’ by Coldplay. Lounging on your bed after school, you flip through the glossy pages of Seventeen magazine, fanatically poring over the pale, golden-eyed Robert Pattinson and the bashful Kristen Stewart.  Adapted […]

 
Petition Calls for Review of "Transphobic" Melbourne University Subject

(content warning: transphobia) A petition has been launched by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Queer Political Action Collective calling for the review of the second year Winter Philosophy subject Feminism, over concerns that the subject includes transphobic rhetoric.   The petition outlines concerns over the subject’s content, as well as the conduct of teaching […]

 
UniMelb not offering rebates for students stuck overseas—but why?

“Why are we paying so much to attend Zoom University?” Ah, the common line we hear these days. COVID-19 has definitely changed university life drastically, particularly for international students stuck overseas. Many feel that the quality of education has been severely compromised, especially with the lack of face-to-face interaction. Having to pay hefty tuition fees […]

 
UniMelb Posts Surplus During COVID-19–At Whose Cost?

The University of Melbourne posted a surplus of $8 million during the COVID-19 pandemic, having cut more than 750 jobs and dozens of University subjects, alongside $360 million in spending. Cost-cutting policies, however, have come at the expense of the student experience and well-being of University staff. University Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell said that the small […]

 
UMSU-in-brief: What’s new with your student union?

While you’ve been smashing back-to-back coffees, or spending an ungodly amount of time in the Baillieu this semester, a LOT has been happening at the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). But, don’t fret! Farrago is here to catch you up on everything you’ve missed… 1. General Secretary Resigns UMSU’s General Secretary resigned in late-April, […]

 
Review: No Document— a novel or a puzzle?

No Document is a non-fiction essay by Anwen Crawford about power in the face of human suffering. Through her own experiences of losing a close friend, interwoven with political disseminations, Anwen Crawford attempts to unravel her pain and explore loss in the form of artworks, film and protest.  From the first page, Crawford shocks and […]

 
The Performance of University and Cyber Utopia

content warning: mentions of sexual violence, no specific detail Last year got me thinking a lot about the public sphere of the University. When we went into the first lockdown, I was the Disabilities Officer at the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). In the last week before we all studied from home, I focused […]

 
Review: No Hat No Play! The Cabaret

Picture this, you’re in Year 6. You’re at the top of the primary school food chain. You’re trying your best to rock that polyester-cotton primary colour and brown uniform for your final year until you hit… duh duh duhhhh… teenagerhood. No Hat No Play! The Cabaret was all nostalgia, bringing together all the types of […]

 
Budget Breakdown — What’s in it for you?

On 11 May 2021, the federal government released its 2021–2022 budget. The previous year has been tumultuous, and this budget reflects that—the Liberal party has essentially been forced by circumstance to abandon their small-government ideology with big-spending measures, paving the way to national debt of up to $1 trillion.  Some media commentators have called this […]

 
Why should you join the School Strike 4 Climate?

On 21 May, students across the country will go on strike to demand action on climate change. Organised by the School Strike 4 Climate, the rally calls for the Morrison government #FundOurFutureNotGas. Its demands include: Resource of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander-led solutions that guarantee land rights and care for country Fund the creation of […]

 
Review: On the Origin of Faeces

Science comedian Alanta Colley’s “On the Origin of Faeces” is a joyous reflection on her relationship with poo, a wonderful evening of refreshing but somehow never crass comedy.  A handbell signalled the start of the show as we took our seats in the cosy theatre of  Melbourne’s famous Butterfly Club. As this was my first […]

 
Review: Car Crash – Lech Blaine

Publisher: Black Inc (an imprint of Schwartz Book Pty Ltd) Year: 2021 Page number: 251 content warning: death, mental illness “Recovering from depression was like trying to unlearn a second language.”  I have always been particularly reluctant to read memoirs on trauma, mindful they could blend into each other and run the risk of being […]

 
Review: Tsarina –a dazzling glimpse into the mad world of Russian autocracy

Year: 2021 Publisher: Bloomsbury Price: $29.99   As described by the acclaimed historical fiction writer Daisy Goodwin, the 500-page mammoth of a book Tsarina “makes Game of Thrones look like a nursery rhyme,” as it follows the thrilling tale of Catherine the First of Russia. Full disclosure, I haven’t read Game of Thrones, but I […]

 
Review: Intimacy and Solitude: Finding New Closeness and Self-Trust in a Distanced World

Publisher: Allen & Unwin (first published by William Heinemann Australia 1991) Year: 2021 Page number: 340 How does one navigate the mess of psychosocial issues from unresolved childhood trauma and ghosts of past relationships? With the recent milestone of acquiring my first boyfriend (weird flex but ok), a zealous determination to become ~*The Best Girlfriend […]

 
Parasite: Review

It’s incredible to think how much joy and destruction one small family can inflict. Bong Joon-ho’s dark comedy thriller Parasite (2020) is held together by a strong cast and slick directing, and the take-home message is clear: bonding with your family causes death. I feel I reserve the right to criticise this cynical view of […]

 
The World of Dragons: The Gnawing Tree Dragon

“Níðhöggr lived beneath the great tree Yggdrasil. He gnawed on its roots, growing bigger each day. The roots were so tangled that they twisted around his body; the more he ate, the bigger he became; the bigger he became, the more the roots curled around him, trapping him where he lay. And from where he […]

 
Concerns Arise as COVID-19 Supplement End-Date Looms

As financial supplements introduced by the government during COVID-19 are set to end on 28 March, there is rising discussion over the potentially adverse impacts that this may have on tertiary students across Australia.  Whilst some students have been able to access such financial support, others have been excluded from receiving government welfare payments throughout […]

 
UniWireless COVID Data Sharing Raises Privacy Concerns

This year, when students at the University of Melbourne attempt to log into the University’s Wi-Fi, many may need to repeatedly reconnect to the network. This is because several changes have been made to the terms of use for UniWireless in light of COVID-19. According to the University’s website, “provisions” will be made for the […]

 
REVIEW: Lewis Capaldi’s New Album 'Lullabies for people of neglect'

Capaldi is known for using vague, at times confusing metaphors to describe the human experience in his music. Now, in 2021, the 24-year-old is back with more melodrama than your nana’s Mills & Boon novels. To talk about this fresh and unique take on lullabies, we sat down with Capaldi in his parents’ plush studio […]

 
on worth

I measure my worth in the number of meetings I attend, in the number of responses I get in my 9am sociology class, and in how many people have liked my latest Instagram poem. When I feel my back start to crack, I tell myself —“one more reading and you can rest”, and then one […]

 
Still a Love Story, Only More

In the backseat of my family’s old sedan, the air was warm in spite of the blasting air conditioning. I leaned against the window, scanning the houses we passed by. The weekend was so close that I could’ve grasped it between my fingers. At eight years old, a lot of things looked brand new. At […]

 
To Listen to the Mockingbirds: Why celebrating literature by PoC authors is the key to countering racism in the literary canon

content warning: Discussions of racism and colonialism, mentions of police violence. Halfway through my final year of high school, I made an executive decision: from then on, I would exclusively read books written by people of colour. I also announced this decision to anybody who would listen. Many implied that I was being “extreme”. In […]

 
Why I’m Breaking Up with Goodreads

In April 2010, I opened a Goodreads account. On January 24 2021, I deleted it. Like many readers, I used Goodreads to track the past, present, and future of my reading. I also created custom shelves to ensure books written by authors from diverse backgrounds did not disappear into the abyss that was my “to […]

 
Blue Hope in Blue Ray

The transitional and temporary nature of the art world  Neoliberal capitalistic institutions of contemporary art and higher education express conflict between the “national” and “transnational” as well as what is “temporary” and “permanent”. From special exhibitions to performances, any form of ephemeral art makes its “temporary” nature more precious and distinguished. Along with globalisation, an […]

 
Art Musing: Curatorial Intentions

Sophie Gerhard always thought that she would be an artist. But six months into a Fine Arts degree, she realised that it wasn’t for her. “I didn’t like the criticism,” she told me. “I probably just wasn’t very good.” So, she left her degree to study Art History at the University of Leeds. Here, she […]

 
Your Guide to Clubs and Societies

“Wow, there are so many interesting clubs this semester! Which one do I choose?” Decisions, decisions! Well, we would say to choose all of them, but sadly that’s impossible. Or is it? Nope, sorry, it definitely is.  Well, not to worry, Farrago’s got you covered! Here’s a quick guide to some of the best clubs […]

 
One Year After Border Closure: International Students Campaign for Justice

The federal government and the University of Melbourne have given little hope to international students stuck overseas despite a successful online campaign calling for action. On March 3, #justiceon5march was trending on Twitter in India and Pakistan, two major international student markets for Australia. The hashtag storm was started by Voice of International Students Australia […]

 
200th Anniversary of Greek Independence Day

The Greek Independence Day, which falls on the 25th of March 2021, marks the 200th anniversary of the Greek revolution. Greece was under the rule of the Ottoman Empire and Turkish occupation for 400 years, and in March 1821, began their revolt. This War of Independence established Greece as an independent state. An underground secret […]

 
The Invisibles: Reflections of an Overseas International Student

As semester one 2021 began, campus grounds awoke from almost a year of dormancy, filling up again with sights, sounds and students. Social media timelines flooded with summery snapshots of students on South Lawn, or hugging the University’s teddy bear mascot. Some official University accounts even started pushing the #RediscoverUnimelb hashtag, urging students to […]

 
OPINION | ‘Digging, a deep dark trench’: students left unsupported in wake of COVID-19

There is a truism, first circulated in public space by artist Jenny Holzer in 1977, “abuse of power comes as no surprise”. This is the exact reason that the University of Melbourne has an independent student advocacy service—to provide students with a source of procedural fairness when they face the inequalities that often plague this […]

 
I’ve Been Thinking About Nothing but Supergiant’s Hades for Weeks

The world is garbage. Let’s talk about video games. Specifically, one video game that has invaded my life and my brain, consuming every waking moment of conscious thought since it was released on Nintendo Switch in September 2020. I’m talking about Hades, Supergiant Games’ latest release and the new love of my life (until the […]

 
Review: Kit Richard’s Scandal: The Musical! (Melbourne International Comedy Festival, 28th March 2021)

On the way to Carlton’s magnificent and massive Trades Hall, I decided to follow Google Maps. A dumb move considering it’s on the corner of Lygon and Victoria and therefore not difficult to find for someone who’s lived close to the city for nearly three years now. But somehow I do get lost trying to […]

 
“Stop lying to staff and students”: Students and staff rally against job and course cuts

Students and staff gathered outside the Raymond Priestley Building on 25 March to demand an end to the University’s recent staff and course cuts, and call for an improved, more equitable and accessible education. The rally was organised by University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Education Public Officers Hannah Krasovec and Tejas Gandhi, in collaboration […]

 
Goodbye, Dragon Inn (Tsai Ming-Liang, 2003)

Flaneur culture emerged during the nascent era of industrialism to denote citizens who could walk the city with a sense of leisure—a recurring, if unintentional trope in Tsai Ming-Liang’s 2003 film Goodbye, Dragon Inn. Cinemas are fragile and delicate spaces, as highlighted throughout Tsai’s film, which portrays a single-theatre cinema in Taipei before its imminent […]

 
“Zero Tolerance for Sexual Assault”: Students and Staff Demand Condemnation of Professor Alan Lopez

content warning: sexual harassment and sexual assault, in no explicit detail Despite wet and windy conditions, protesters gathered outside MacFarland Court this afternoon to call for the University to publicly condemn Professor Alan Lopez. Earlier this month, an article published by The Age revealed that the University had allowed Professor Lopez to retain his roles […]

 
An Artist’s Struggle

And on a hot, 33-degree day She sat in her room And wrote half a play. It wasn’t very good But it wasn’t very bad Yet she knew in her heart that really she had let herself down, left it too last minute. There were barely any scenes or characters in it. “But it’s experimental! […]

 
Can the Subaltern Internet?

 The Fundamental Right to the Internet Cw: mentions of refugees in detention and police violence. Towards the end of a catastrophic 2020 and start of 2021, I’ve built some beautiful and unexpected friendships. If you stop by Lincoln Square at 6 pm on weekdays, you will see a fairly large group of people (including me) […]

 
THE WITCHES: A New Generation (Moonlight Cinema)

cw: ableism There’s nothing quite like discovering Roald Dahl’s world as a child—it’s full of wonder, imagination and the perfect dose of dark comedy. The Witches marks the latest adaptation of a Dahl classic. (We won’t discuss Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, we pretend that doesn’t exist.) The Witches (and Matilda) have always […]

 
Review: Melbourne Symphony Orchestra’s Chinese New Year Concert [Rescheduled, 13th of March 2021]

It was a beautiful Melbourne evening (read: raining and cold), when a friend and I, armed with a picnic blanket and my slightly broken umbrella, squelched along the grass to the always iconic Sidney Myer Music Bowl.  Walking amongst the little metal scaffolds, we looked for our seats but were unable to find them. We […]

 
Students Rally in Support of Myanmar Protests

[content warning: violence]   Students rallied in front of the State Library last Sunday in support of ongoing protests in Myanmar against the country’s recent military coup. Speakers at the rally included students, as well as Peter Khalil MP and Christopher Lamb, who is president of the Australian Myanmar Institute. The event was organised by […]

 
Review: Back to the Future (*and definitive rankings of random assorted free stuff that the Moonlight Cinema gave us for no reason)

PART ONE Back to the Future is the most enjoyably predictable and watchable movie I’ve seen in a while. Reviewer Adam Smith put it perfectly all the way back at the film’s release in 1985, writing in The Empire: “to put it bluntly; if you don’t like Back to the Future, it’s difficult to believe […]

 
Cinematica: Love

The most baffling thing about Cinematica: Love was its title. Ostensibly setting out to “explore the notion of love in all its glorious forms”, the suite of four short films opened with a hallucinatory collage of dismembered statues, swallowed up in pools of inky black, shortly followed by stills of a gynaecological endoscopy. The event […]

 
Being John Malkovich: Review

What makes a consciousness independent? Evidently, not much according to Spike Jonze’s 1999 ‘classic’: Being John Malkovich. Craig Schwartz (John Cusack) is an unsuccessful puppeteer who discovers a portal into the head of John Malkovich (John Malkovich). Schwartz mostly plods along as an asinine protagonist, only to be challenged with fanciful moral dilemmas and philosophical […]

 
Review: Minari

I watched Minari with a Korean friend, a first-generation immigrant like myself, and when we left the cinema, we agreed upon two things:  We would love for our parents to watch this movie. (Next to us, so we can closely discern their reactions).  We would completely understand if they turned it off at the thirty-minute […]

 
Review: musings on lesbianism & Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

content warning: internalised homophobia, d slur mention “Perhaps one day she’d get used to the way it made her feel: dislocated and dazed, never quite certain if the other half of her would stay offstage as directed. But tonight she felt as if she were constantly on the edge of saying or doing something wrong, […]

 
Adelaide Student Attack Points to Widespread Exploitation of International Students

(content warning: violence)   A viral video showing two international students assaulted in Adelaide has sparked a greater need for a conversation on wage theft.    The women were allegedly attacked after confronting their employer about being underpaid.   The video depicted an argument between a woman and a man before another man stepped into […]

 
Review: Outer Wilds

As I worked on my Engineering degree, I didn’t normally make time to play games. I mean, why bother anyway? I’d grown so cynical after some disappointing games in 2020, and wondered if maybe I’d finally “outgrown” video games. They were fun for a while, but after 2 years of university, I had to prioritise […]

 
Review: The Gang of Five (La Mama)

Just two days before Melbourne’s snap five-day lockdown, I had the privilege of attending a live play at La Mama Theatre in the heart of Abbotsford. Noel Fidge’s The Gang of Five is a two-act musical and is delivered with great energy by the five members of the cast.  Set in a wealthy suburb of […]

 
Review: Wild Mountain Thyme (Moonlight Cinema)

“Now why don’t you ever get rid of the two gates?” “Because that’s the way it is. That’s the way it was, and that’s the way it will be”. For a Hibernophile, John Shanley’s Wild Mountain Thyme (2020) played expertly into my dreams of the sincerity and lived myth of the Irish people. Gorgeous shots […]

 
sugar gliders

when we love, we will be like sugar gliders. sucking eucalyptus sap and honeydew, as though they were the only two things in the world close to our love. you will kiss my pink nose and tell me how soft this feeling is, how you would look for it everywhere between bottlebrush and banksia. when […]

 
Review: The Book of Angst by Gwendoline Smith

Gwendoline Smith: The Book of Angst Allen & Unwin, 2021 ISBN: 9781988547695, $22.99, 312pp   content warning: discussions of mental illness  When faced with this book (subtitled “Understand & Manage Anxiety”), I braced myself to read a drawn-out version of those pamphlets in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. I don’t have a diagnosed […]

 
A WHALE of a good time ha ha ha he he (Review: Jofus and the Whale at La Mama)

La Mama is back, baby! The opening night of Jofus and the Whale was the first return to theatre after a long line of bad luck for La Mama Theatre in Carlton, first burning down in November 2019 and—of course—being closed for the lockdown. The evening started with a lot of excited hustle and bustle, […]

 
Little Moth

little moth, you can’t escape this night and my explanation of what this was or is would puzzle you even more, because I don’t know for sure what this is or was for you, but I can tell you what I saw:   I had brushed my teeth and put some night cream on I […]

 
Drowned Icarus

The light that drowned Icarus, when his freedom he found, was the sweetest ignorance that sent him to ground   I was the quiet water the dark and silent receiver I was the waves on fire when his body was found   Damp wax and melted feathers Gold like a sun half-downed Heat-struck he bore […]

 
hospital bed

content warning: pain, illness   more food, more oranges, lemons, more of the fruit with seeds with their sly murmurs of renewal   renew me with this bed renew me with these blankets, these words, these little styrofoam cups with their little liquids.   pain       the offer pain that writhes in its […]

 
Race Against the Odds: The Not-so-distant Colonial Past and “Post-Racism”

content warning: racism The Not-so-distant Colonial Past and “Post-racism” In recent years, the idea of “post-racism” has become increasingly popular, with people often stating that “racism no longer exists”, particularly in Western countries, including Australia. I have personally experienced this. One experience I had was when I was in a college tutorial telling my peers […]

 
Good Mourning

content warning: death   Standing by her bed Hands clammy, clutching at my dress. Searching for him In the folds of fabric A noise escapes my mouth, an involuntary laugh “I’m going to make rice” I announce. To no one in particular   Down the hall Into the kitchen The bag of rice is heavy […]

 
The Park-Maker

The sun, first blinding, gets gentler with time, as running slows to walking, then to sitting, and to talking. After it sets, softly, we keep our legs crossed tight— tucked in like a bedsheet— and welcoming the night.   Matchstick benches dress our set with garden-gravel rocks: the park that surrounds us is carried in […]

 
When You Return to Campus…

It’s been a while since many of us have been on campus. For some of you, you’ve only caught a glimpse or two of university life. Farrago thought a small guide to returning to campus could be useful (there are some things you pick up after six years of tertiary education!) A Cold One Queensberry […]

 
2021 Edition One Flash Fiction: Love Stories

Even pinned to the altar, my sacrificial dagger clutched over your chest, you are fearless—after all, one of us was always destined to die. From girlhood, we let the priests dress us in a pantomime of our future; blood-red robes and bone-white face paint.

 
How to Write an H1 Arts Essay

The Elusive H1. H1, not to be confused with H1N1—the viral disease from 2009 better known as the Swine Flu, is the top mark you can receive at the University of Melbourne. However, while H1N1 is acquired by inhaling the glycoproteins haemagglutinin and neuraminidase through droplets in the air, H1s are awarded for achieving over […]

 
Man explaining Fight Club to you reminds you (for the fifth time) he does INDEED go to VCA!

“Look, I’d say it’s deeper than a critique of capitalism, which admittedly is a pretty mainstream understanding of the film—see, it’s a criticism of our understanding of self and the superficial nature of the relationships that we foster due to our inherent egotism… Anyway, do you like The Cure? Hey, are you awake?”—Oliver Russel, 23, […]

 
Social Media: The Age of Distraction

“TV’s ‘real’ agenda is to be ‘liked,’ because if you like what you’re seeing, you’ll stay  tuned. TV is completely unabashed about this; it’s its sole raison.”  The American author and cultural critic David Foster Wallace uttered these words in the  early ’90s. Wallace was a staunch critic of the materialism of Western culture. He […]

 
Art Musing: Monumental Questions

content warning: colonialism, racism, civil war  Looking beyond the COVID-19 pandemic, the year 2020 may well be known as the year of the monument. In previous years, there had been little international debate surrounding the continued presence of colonial monuments—a representation of a bygone and problematic history.  Indeed, in 1927, writer Robert Musil famously proclaimed […]

 
Statue of a Woman, or Womankind?

The unveiling of 18th century writer and philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft’s statue in north London should have been a moment of triumph after years of campaigning by Mary on the Green, a movement dedicated to celebrating Wollstonecraft’s work. However, the statue by controversial artist Maggi Hambling presented the same tired depictions and themes that have plagued […]

 
Slogans and Nonsense

“What, announce a policy without a slogan? Are you mad?”- overheard from Scott Morrison’s office, presumably. There’s a problem with slogans in politics: when political slogans age into accepted wisdom and the taint of ideology is forgotten, political partialities can be passed off as facts of nature. Of course, arguments are much easier when your […]

 
Jennifer’s Body: Hell is a Teenage Girl

content warning: sexism, graphic violence and gore. Spoilers for Jennifer’s Body. Horror has always been a tool to explore girlhood and female virtue. But what Jennifer’s Body (2009) does differently—and so well—is show a teenage girl in her ultimate form: brutal, cringey, flawed, and most importantly, still a child. The script narrates the story of […]

 
Ordinary Joys

Ever since my brother, my sister and I were small, my dad had a vision for us to become surfers. He had a shimmering dream of his three kids gliding down the face of waves out at sea, perfectly executing 360 degree turns with the grace and power of Kelly Slater. He has tried hard […]

 
Perfectionism

Ten years ago, when I was a little pre-teen, writing was easy. Words flew on paper with the grace of a sailor navigating the ocean by the North Star. I wrote stories about princesses and their knights, blog pieces advocating for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community in India and articles about the forgotten mysteries […]

 
Review: Feeding the Human Narrative of Hope: Top Dog Film Festival (Moonlight Cinema)

It’s common knowledge that spending time around dogs has long-term effects on raising serotonin and dopamine levels. This is why, when catching myself slipping into a relentless cycle of unhealthy coping mechanisms during the fourth month of lockdown, I decided to better use my one hour of state-mandated outdoor time to trudge over to Edinburgh […]

 
Review: Knives Out (Moonlight Cinema)

Knives Out (2019) is a modern take on the wonderfully witty whodunnit featuring a star-studded cast and more clues and red herrings than you could shake a stick at (or in this case, a knife). Rian Johnson (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Looper) manages to keep viewers so focused on what the left hand is […]

 
Review: Macbeth—Shakespeare Under the Stars

As the sun set behind the trees at The Royal Botanic Gardens, the proverbial curtains opened on The Australian Shakespeare Company’s latest production, Macbeth. The production is part of their Shakespeare Under the Stars series, which currently also features A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Helmed by director Glenn Elston OAM and Nathaniel Dean in the titular […]

 
Review: The Perfunctory Feminism of Magic Mike XXL (Moonlight Cinema)

As a friend and I wandered along the periphery of the Royal Botanical Gardens towards the entrance to Moonlight Cinema, we nodded knowingly at the crowd, clad in fuchsia dressing gowns and clasping bottles of pinot noir. The name “Channing Tatum” echoed through the ascending crowd like an omen. Debauched giggles rustled through the twilit […]

 
Review: The Dry (Moonlight Cinema)

On the silver screen, Jane Harper’s 2016 best-selling debut novel The Dry translates into an Aussiewood thriller with a Picnic at Hanging Rock brand of outback malaise. Australian federal police agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) reluctantly returns to his hometown of Kiewarra for three funerals: that of his childhood best friend, his wife, and their […]

 
Review: #ENTRYLEVELBOSS by Alexa Shoen

Alexa Shoen: #ENTRYLEVELBOSS Scribe Publications, 2021 ISBN: 9781925849424, $24.99, 256pp   This particular book comes to me at a really interesting time in my career track, namely that I don’t have one. Given that I’m slated to graduate mid-year, this complete lack of long-term gainful employment has been the cause of mild concern for my […]

 
Review: Wild Things 

I really wanted to love this film.  Wild Things tells the stories of several environmental campaigns happening in so-called Australia right now, as well as providing some overview of the history of environmental activism across the country. The film follows several campaigners for a year or so, tracking their actions and interviewing them about their […]

 
Review: how to be a good girl by Jamie Hood

how to be a good girl is a miscellany. Never just quite poetry, never entirely essay. It’s a beautiful thing. “My go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality.” – Torrey Peters on how to be a good girl. Though no one seems to know exactly what it is. […]

 
Thousands gather in Naarm to mark Invasion Day
Image credits: Finley Tobin

Content warning: racism, First Nations deaths in custody.  Thousands of protestors gathered in Naarm (Melbourne) on Tuesday to call for a Treaty and to abolish so-called ‘Australia Day’. The rally was mirrored in other capital cities, with tens of thousands showing up in Canberra, Perth, Brisbane, Darwin, Adelaide and Hobart, as well as dozens of […]

 
Review: The Love of Acceptance in 10 Things I Hate About You (Moonlight Cinema)
image credit: Marija Mrvosevic

Firsts are always memorable. In 1999, Gil Junger, Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith brought us a rare gem in the teen rom-com corner of Hollywood, the first modern cinematic adaptation of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, set in a high school of all places. 10 Things I Hate About You, now a cult classic, features […]

 
“This is Not the End”: Advocates, Detainees Urge Students to Join Fight as More Refugees Released
Image credits: Jennifer Chance

After multiple years in offshore and local detention, an additional 20 refugees detained in Park Hotel on Swanston Street were released on bridging visas on 21 January, according to the ABC. They join the 45 refugees and asylum seekers who were released the day prior from both Park Hotel and the Melbourne Immigration Transit Accommodation […]

 
Review: The Bird Way: A New Look at How Birds Talk, Work, Play, Parent, and Think

Jennifer Ackerman: The Bird Way: A New Look at How Birds Talk, Work, Play, Parent, and Think Scribe Publications, 2020 ISBN (13):9781925713763, pp. 368, $35.00 As an amateur birder who dislikes reading highly technical books about birds, The Bird Way seemed like an entertaining way to learn more about the birds I see every day […]

 
Review: The Animals in That Country

  Laura Jean McKay: The Animals in That Country Scribe Publications, 2020. ISBN, 9781925849530, $29.99, pp. 288.   “Dingoes wear their fur like feelings: all sleek and shiny when they’re relaxed, a thick bank of heckle when they get wound up. Sue is wound up” (7). Laura Jean McKay’s The Animals in That Country is […]

 
Review: The Left-Handed Booksellers of London

Garth Nix’s The Left-Handed Booksellers of London follows art student Susan Arkshaw on a quest to London to search for a man she’s never met: her father. Before she can unearth any answers about her paternal ancestry though, a prick of a silver hatpin turns her first suspect into dust.

 
University of Melbourne agrees to reimburse underpaid staff

After two years of unionised campaigning, the University of Melbourne has agreed to reimburse underpaid staff before Christmas. The National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) has claimed responsibility for this win, estimating that the University will need $6 million to repay staff. However, with more than 2000 staff members affected, the union has also stated that […]

 
Review: Uncook Yourself

In the words of Nat’s What I Reckon, Australia’s latest and most surprising celebrity chef, there’s something about cooking and sharing a feast with friends that makes you feel like a “f*cking champion”.   

 
ICYMI: COVID-19 Subject Scores to Still Appear on Student Transcripts

Students studying during the COVID-19 pandemic have been drawn into a false sense of security by the University’s revised Weighted Average Mark (WAM) calculation system.  Introduced earlier this year, the system acknowledges that students may be academically disadvantaged during the pandemic, but still makes them bear individual subject scores on their transcript. The current WAM […]

 
Secret Spaces: The University of Melbourne Food Co-Op

Union House is arguably the beating heart of campus. And while many of its spaces are well-known, there is one quiet spot nestled by the first-floor elevators that is home to an unexpected and impressive history. ‘The Food Co-op,’ a sign reads. ‘Since 1976. Under no management.’ A co-operative is defined as a ‘democratic organization […]

 
Studying through COVID: how the pandemic has impacted the university experience

There’s no denying that this academic year has been unlike any that University of Melbourne students have faced before. With the end of the year approaching, Farrago is rounding up how the year has impacted students and what lies ahead in 2021. The most notable change for students this year was a rapid transition to […]

 
UMSU Election Overview

After a successful online campaign, Community for UMSU has won a majority of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) offices for 2021. Winning every office except for President and Education Public Affairs, the ticket appears to have survived a difficult postal election. Stand Up!, a long-standing ticket that dominated office bearer positions this year, […]

 
Review: Sunshine: The diary of a lap dancer

Samantha C. Ross’ Sunshine: The diary of a lap dancer follows the titular stripper as she flits from Gentleman’s Clubs around Australia and beyond with a sharp wit, affinity for alcohol and delightful pettiness.

 
Celebrating Schmilco Four Years Late Because No-One Else Has or Probably Ever Will

In 1994, Jay Farrar left the alt-country band Uncle Tupelo. Its remaining members, led by their frontman Jeff Tweedy, formed Wilco. In the early 2000s, during Wilco’s critical renaissance, it seemed pretty likely that Jeff Tweedy would die.

 
Rebecca Clarke, Margaret Bonds & Sally Whitwell

Welcome to Canon in She, a column that celebrates the beautiful music of composers who identify as women. In this edition, we have a violist who wrote for a variety of instruments, a resourceful African American pianist who wrote a Christmas cantata, and an Australian pianist who writes lyrical and quirky music for various instruments.

 
Continuing the Fight

Content Warning: Sexual Assault and Harassment. In conversation with Women’s Officers, Aria Sunga and Naomi Smith, and Sexual Harm and Response Coordinator, Patrick Tidmarsh on sexual assault and harassment on campus. In 2020, University of Melbourne Student Union Women’s Office Bearers, Aria Sunga and Naomi Smith continued their campaign against sexual harassment on campus. They […]

 
Review: A Delicate Fire

A Delicate Fire is an operatic movie filmed under COVID-safe conditions by Pinchgut Opera, using the music of 17th century Venetian composer Barbara Strozzi. It is an exploration of romantic love, using Strozzi’s music as inspiration.

 
Fame: It’s A Numbers Game — A Review of Spree (2020)

Spree’s central thesis is that we are all desperate to be seen. Whether by our parents, friends or random strangers on the internet, we want the validation and acknowledgment of others. This incredibly human trait pivots towards the horrific in Spree, a splattery thriller for the digital age, directed by Eugene Kotlyarenko and executive-produced by Drake.

 
The Rot at the Heart of Higher Education

When my mum went to university, it was free. The golden years, from when Gough Whitlam abolished university fees in 1974, to her second year, were a time when anyone and everyone with interest could get their education. This was also when most politicians pushing through the funding cuts went to university.

 
Hygge.

What makes you happy? Falling asleep with rain falling softly on the roof? Having a joyful dog race towards you, treating you like their best friend? Baking cookies, just to eat the dough? Curling up with a book and a homemade blanket? Candles? Tea? For me, it’s all these things. These are things which provide comfort, warmth and security. Cosiness.

 
Noise pollution: reducing the environmental impact of live music

In 2019, there were over 200 concert tours worldwide, from Charli XCX’s Charli Live Tour to Billie Eilish’s When We All Fall Asleep World Tour. Each of these tours represents dozens of crew members, trucks, buses, catering spreads and hotel rooms, across every continent, playing to millions of fans. The environmental impact of concert touring is huge. 

 
The Problem with Marginalised Narratives

Despite its rampant discussion, to this date diversity remains ill-defined. “People of colour” for one, is an umbrella term that groups individuals into potentially restrictive spaces while aggrandising their white counterparts even further. To generalise various ethnic groups into a single voice and pit them against whiteness is a problematic practice which diminishes their truth. […]

 
Volunteering From Home

It wasn’t until recently that studies illustrated that cockatoos are typically left-footed. Digivol, an online volunteer platform, explains this success by pointing to researchers not out in the fields, peering up into gumtrees, but ‘citizen scientists’ working from home. Volunteers analysed site photos to assist the digitisation of archives, and in the process identified which foot these Australian birds were using. Thus, the surprising discovery!

 
WINNERS Never Can Quit

Retired athletes are susceptible to psychological distress after stopping sports. If we spoke more openly about what happens after people quit, the experience wouldn’t be so isolating.
We all hear about the everyday struggles of the elite athlete. Marketing material, films and television shows glorify the act of “getting up after you fall” and “continuing on” no matter the cost.

 
Entitled to Power: See What You Made Me Do

urn on your phone, open Facebook and scroll through your feed. If it’s anything like mine, it should be awash with COVID-19 statistics, the US election, and friends asking how 2020 could get any worse. Switch over to The Age and it’s the same.

 
The Curtain Calls for You to Think: #BoysDanceToo

Pre-COVID-19-lockdown-reality, I meant to go see Billy Elliot the Musical, based on the 2005 film of the same name. Not-so-surprisingly, I didn’t end up going. Instead I read about it, watched the movie, I even signed up for free at-home ballet lessons – this one wasn’t really followed through – and I got to reflect on the subtleties of the plot and the songs in the musical’s soundtrack.

 
The OTHER Theory of Evolution: How to Make Mice from Scratch

These recipes are paraphrased from 17th-century Dutch chemist Jan Baptist van Helmont. Luckily, he is remembered for discovering gases such as carbon dioxide, not for conjuring mice and scorpions.

 
Edition Four 2020 Editorial

Bethany You may notice I am holding a printer in the photo below. Not an advertisement for Canon but a poke at the UMSU for being silly sausages. They have spent more time harassing Farrago than representing the students they have made so many promises to. I had to stand up in council and call […]

 
POLS2020: Politics of Zoom Classes

POLS2020 Politics of Zoom Classes Subject Guide Teaching Staff Subject Coordinator:    Dr Boryn N. Schléeze Dr Boryn N. Schléeze is a Senior Lecturer in Politics in the School of Social, Political, Metaphorical and Bureaucratic Sciences. Dr Schléeze is a political scientist whose recent publications are on the relationship between digital technologies and student learning. He […]

 
7 Eleven Wine in a Hiroshima Studio Apartment

I’m told that love is big, unconditional romantic gestures. It’s holding a stereo blasting “our” song outside your bedroom window. It’s flash mobs in Grand Central Station. It’s getting off a flight to Paris just before take-off. It’s singing “I Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” in the bleachers in front of the whole school. 

 
a meditation for heartbreak

Even before it happens, mourn it. Memorise what his fingers feel like when they scratch your head every time you hug him. Slowly feed your grandmother some fruit, and when she has trouble swallowing, know that this is the last time she smiles at you.

 
Portrait of a migrant childhood with an Uncle-roommate

Non-passengers cannot go into airports in Bangladesh. My granny’s lined face—a mask of sagacity—was a novelty, simmering with anxiety and inexperience in the flat white light. Lips pursed like the aviation industry was one big blunder. She disapproved. People die in the place they were born. Most of all, we want consistency in a person.

 
Apple Crumble: The Perfect Companion

This recipe is quick and easy to make if you need a last-minute dessert! I first learnt how to make this recipe on a cold winter’s day. The fire was going, and I had just experienced the worst week of my life… I’m only joking, I’m not going to venture on some longwinded personal story that’s in no way related to the recipe (looking at you, bloggers). But in all seriousness, this apple crumble is the perfect way to counteract the lockdown blues we’ve all unfortunately come to k

 
The Curtain Calls for You to Think: Self Acceptance

If you have Netflix, which I assume the majority of you do because what else is there to do during a lockdown and pandemic, you’ve probably seen an ad or the trailer for the new Joe Mantello & Ryan Murphy film “The Boys in the Band”. This modernised adaptation tells the story of a group of homosexual men in the 1960s and how a birthday party in a small New York apartment can become the epicentre of self truths and confessions of old loves. It becomes the intersection of the diverse

 
The OTHER Theory of Evolution: The Greatest Failed Experiment

During iso, I’ve bounced aimlessly through Wikipedia long enough to land on an article titled the ‘List of Discredited Substances.’ It includes the Philosopher’s Stone, a universal solvent, and even a unicorn’s horn. With each entry, is an explanation of how the substance was discredited, usually through various experiments (We apparently know unicorn horns don’t […]

 
A Third Culture Kid's Experience: The Art Upon Gallery Walls

The art upon gallery walls speak of deep histories, people immortalised in paint, lingering in their own mythologies. My feet always take me to the eighteenth-century European section, desiring to stand before illustrious portraiture of affluent women in creamy gowns, or poised families before pastoral landscapes, their homestead grandiose in the distance—beautiful, amorous, unified.

 
The Religion of One Direction

At first, I didn’t like them. You weren’t supposed to. Boys pantsed you in the playground. They licked the sap from trees thinking it was honey. Boys were pests. When I read about an up-and-coming boyband in the rainbow-glazed entertainment pages of Total Girl magazine, I decided to bring the matter before the jury the next day at school. The response was negative.

 
Suburban Mum Distressed That Neo-Nazi Slightly Mishandled Dog

A video featuring an area man named Dick Wiener (54) yelling racist epithets has recently gained prominence on social media. Wiener, whose arms and legs are heavily tattooed with neo-Nazi symbols, is seen enthusiastically making white power gestures at the camera with one hand while pulling a tiny Shih Tzu somewhat tightly by its leash with the other.

 
witches

moonlight bleaching bones                 in the trees  carving sigils into thighs   ice dripping from the                                        s  p   a    c     e              […]

 
The Curtain Calls for You to Think: Doing it Right

don’t think any of us can say that we aren’t aware of the trend that is the “remake”. We have Rebecca on Netflix, The Boys in the Band from my previous piece, the fan favourite Disney’s Mulan retold, and a new version of the Little Mermaid is in the works. I’m not going to say that the movie industry is running out of ideas, because new ideas, plots and films are constantly being released; personally, I just feel less excited.

 
A Third Culture Kid’s Experience: Sensing Your Belonging

The girl I love thinks belonging looks like blank walls re-envisioned. Bedrooms of low-sheen warm white have become her cross-cultural companion, a familiar stalker and a friendly face, the constant same hue amongst the apartments in her growing inventory. Several taped photographs offer small windows to past lives of different values: friendships with those she hasn’t seen in two years, a family portrait from graduation, and a Caravaggio reprint of Bacchus—these images are staples on her

 
The 5 Stages of failing a Driving Test

You thought this day was going to mark the beginning of your journey into self-sufficiency. Whether you memorised every road rule or forged your entire logbook, no amount of driving lessons could have prepared you for the emotional rollercoaster that is failing a driving test.

 
On the Outside Looking In: Democratising Literary Festivals Post-Pandemic

With over 50 writers festivals in Victoria alone, it can seem an overwhelming prospect to choose which ones to invest time in. For people outside of the industry, it can also sometimes feel intimidating to attend such events in the first place. Last year, I went to the opening night of the Melbourne Writers Festival with a couple of friends.

 
2 Audiobook Reviews, in Which There are 4 Recommendations, the Whole Thing is Split into Quarters and Bro I am Just Vibing.

Who says that not doing readings for class is a bad thing? It’s an action (or inaction I guess) that’s given me my main coping mechanism for the year’s turmoil, so I’m inclined to think that maybe skipping readings is, in fact, a healthy choice.

 
Trash Lit

When I was 15, I wrote 11,000 words of Merlin fanfiction. To this day, it is the most successful thing I’ve ever written – I still get emails every time someone reads it and clicks the fanfic equivalent of the ‘like’ button. I was a virgin, I didn’t know how sex works, but apparently, I’d read enough smut to be able to write it convincingly.

 
Four Ways to Make Parties Eco-Friendly

Okay, I don’t want to be a party grinch, but will you not agree with me on this: I think parties are repetitive. Someone calls for a party, we all plan, we go to a place, we eat a few snacks, drink a few somethings, laugh and talk for an hour then come back home — a standard party (of course, there are variations). I believe that if something is repetitive, we should make an effort to make sure it’s better.

 
Difference Between Being Proactive vs Reactive About Climate Change

Proactive is when you actively make sure that things don’t go wrong, reactive is when you react when things are going wrong. Here is an example so we are on the same page —say you keep up to date with lectures every day and develop your assignment every week — you are being proactive. Say […]

 
Yeah, Nah, Not Vibing with Fast Furniture

ecently, while moving in with my parents to a faraway suburb, I realized that I’d bought waaay too many books during my time alone at university. The point was: I needed a bookshelf. So, I went to Target—­ saw an 8-cube storage unit— 39 dollars only— great reviews online— sweet!

 
A Puppet with Wings

Dear reader, I hope that I do not bore you. If my life were a colour it would be a bleak salmon pink. If it were a sound it would be an alpha wave. But not those alpha waves that aid concentration when you’re trying to cram 170 hours of study into one night; I’m […]

 
i miss swanston street

They say that 0.01 centimetres is the urban space of possibilities: the distance between people (connections, separation) in the bustling city. It’s easy to get lost inside a crowd (or to lose yourself). Claim the rhythms of heartache and caffeinated loneliness and suddenly you’re not special or strange. You’re (the same as) everybody else just […]

 
where were you when i was kind

He leans back on wooden chair crimson with murmuring firelight reddening thins of cabbaged ears bright cheeks porous to the cave-like warmth, still bellows exhume tonically:  two Omeprazole nightly Old eyes faded blue as connect-the-dot veins meandering rice-paper arms he blinks and stories rise: twelve years and strapped car-wise on a Saturday guffawing glassed father […]

 
ptarmigan

into cracks spineless time slips fluid jellyfish – caught, only in your feathers’ wide net slung to trap the squirming future. you lend time your skeleton, old catskin croaker pussy willow bud.

 
Fallen

I have not fallen from the spine of my mother Because she always grasps me tight to her back Nor did I slip from her arm When she threw me into the sky of freedom To embrace the whispering wind   Because her hand is a swimming pool Where I embrace the warm waters of […]

 
When There Was Peace

After Katie Hale   Our dove has flown for sixty years But she still hasn’t moved a mile Not to talk of reaching her shore In the armpit of our dwelling (We hide our hairy shame)   When peace visited our faces We served him poisoned food It is left for a mother To let […]

 
Letter to the Editor

Letter to the Editors The Students’ Council of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) is broken. It no longer serves students and instead addresses the personal grievances of a small group of people who zealously attempt to enact their personal ideologies. I have been the 2020 Education (Academic Affairs) Officer of UMSU in 2020, […]

 
Tutors at ‘tipping point’, Students Suffering During Wage Theft-Pandemic Double Hit

Tutors are asked to mark 1,000 words per half hour – could you do it? First year Arts student Sam Warner did not expect to spend most of 2020 talking to his tutors from his bedroom.  He says the transition to online learning has been difficult but he can also see the strain it has […]

 
The Morrison Government’s Pandemic Politics

With our lives consumed by COVID-19 this year, it has been almost impossible to keep up with every development in Australian politics. As we emerge from the second wave of the virus in Victoria, it is important to look back at the Federal Government’s policies and recognise they have made life harder for students and […]

 
Review: Honeybee: A world apart from its predecessor

Craig Silvey: Honeybee Allen & Unwin, 2020 ISBN, 9781760877224, $32.99, pp. 432 Within minutes of starting this book, I realised this was not the Craig Silvey I remembered from Jasper Jones. While some of the themes overlap—innocence, identity, confusion—this book isn’t quite like Jasper. Yet in some ways, Honeybee will be defined by its predecessor, a […]

 
Hildegard von Bingen, Clara Schumann and Emily Lau

Welcome to Canon in She, a column about women composers being amazing. In this edition, we have a medieval nun who told the church to stop being so damn corrupt, a concert pianist who had eight children while practically inventing the modern piano recital, and a collaborative music-maker fusing ancient and modern musical techniques.

 
In the Middle of the Empty Woods

A small cloaked figure hurried across the barren earth as the last of the sun’s light leaked from the sky. The only thing between him and the horizon was a lonely little house, nestled in the shadow of the last starving tree. The tips of its leafless branches split and splintered like a hundred bony […]

 
Exile

  ?? ??? ??? ????? ?????? No land on this earth carries me ??????? ????? So my speech carries me Mahmoud Darwish      I do not speak of olive trees and the smell of gunpowder.   My exile is one of peace, the crash of the Arabian sea. The crescendo of the adhan, the […]

 
Urban Nostalgia

People associate cities with alienation. Consumerism. The soul-sucking nine-to-five grind. Cold capitalist sterility and chaotic excess, side by side. Tall towers devoid of character, obscuring the sky with glass and steel. Crowds so suffocatingly thick you lose your sense of self. Glaring lights, loud noises you can’t drown out. Light pollution, sound pollution, air pollution. […]

 
The Sound of Silence

Midnight, and you begin your walk home. In the abandoned suburban streets, you imagine you are the sole survivor of an apocalypse. Though once afraid of the dark, necessity has forced you to grow up quickly and now the night is your friend. Traffic lights flicker, continuing their rounds. Their metallic hearts beat alongside yours.  […]

 
The Sea Monster

A sea monster lurks beneath dirty waves. It rises when I stare at the water for too long. Its body sends a veil of salty spray to the ocean floor and its mouth forms a great black pit when it screams. I imagine myself swimming, floating sinking inside of it, unnoticed. I try to transform […]

 
The Mother’s Lullaby

That sweet lullaby, My first single, my first album, my first concert Emanating from my mother’s chest to the drums of my ear held against her breast A little head floating up and down with her every breath after breath Amidst the weary grating of her aching bones, Against a larynx of desperation, And a […]

 
The Girl Who Searched for the Heavens

One after another. Her tears bubbled up and slid down her cheeks with each hiccup that escaped. Her tiny frame trembled with each breath taken. Breezes blew all around her; not with encouragement but a reminder—the hollows of her near-past howled. Like the numbered pattern of a clock, bodies systematically lay around her and the […]

 
Dissection of a Piglet’s Heart

  right atrium how strange it is. how fragile, wobbling watery yolk in my palm ribs bending between my fingers like pipe cleaners scattering blood onto a sanitized tray right ventricle how strange to imagine its first stirrings, moth wings wedged between slumped lungs, foetal halfthoughts that never grasped the taste of oxygen left atrium […]

 
Conversations at a Diner

They sat in the end booth of the diner, the one furthest from the door. He still wore his hat and her, her coat. “It’s just awful isn’t it? What happened to Howard.” She looked out the window at the darkened street outside. “It always is, when someone is murdered.” The waitress came over and […]

 
burst asunder

sun-sweet green flesh rimming a pink rockpool rosy anemones swirl in glistening sea gardens a coral paradise afloat with life: Juno’s summer lagoon splashing kids lick pink syrup fingers –  the fig tree watches silently. guardian of green worlds on heaped branches high; dusk rustles quiet leaves. 

 
Flash Fiction Edition Four 2020: Cycle

Road Music by Vanessa Lee I catch her in the corner of my eye, cycling by my side with rain-damp curls and arms outstretched like wings. We were eleven, almost twelve, and shouting the words to some old song. There is a road named after a flower at the end of our street. Our mothers […]

 
Badass Women

Have you ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End? During the pirate council, there’s an older Chinese lady who dominates the room with her piercing gaze. Well, in this case, she isn’t just the token PoC woman added in as an afterthought – in actual fact, she’s a cardholding badass character based off […]

 
The Cherryman: Inasmuch as the Road Forks Here

He lives in a small, round, earthen cottage deep in the quiet parts of the world. Each day mint is picked for tea at sunrise and he waits for his bread to leaven for a late breakfast. At noon he hikes to the top of Pullberry Hill and takes in the ridges and the autumn […]

 
The Night Places

Botanic Gardens, 18:56 The office windows turn dark one by one like broken pixels. Small cars carry the light out to the suburbs.  There are eleven hours and twenty-two minutes to sunrise. The evening’s last joggers pass, women clutching phones like weapons.   Big W, 21:57 The boy announces the store will be closing in […]

 
Shipwreck

Driftwood ribs turn over in her sleep The ship keens under the weight of evening creaking gently about the sand in her stomach Her bones so bare not even the gulls have nested in her slowly disintegrating body As my toes sink into the shell-grit by the water a wave unearths timbers that must belong […]

 
Lonely Hearts of the Animal Kingdom

Female Bonobo “Let’s make love, not war.” Hey lover, listen, I bet you’ve got a lot of stress. When your body’s filled with negativity it can make you lash out. But check this, we figured out a way to stop all the hate, conflict and wars. Sex solves a lot of problems, man. Most, actually. […]

 
camouflage

my hair is a weapon, is a shield, is a badge, is a   chart of all the things I call myself I’m a feminist, so I’ll leave the house with overgrown legs I am a dyke, short sides and back, because a barber costs less, but so does denial I am desirable, strawberry blond […]

 
Queer Online Birthday in Quarantine

for Olive Morgan says, happy birthing of the meat. Time isn’t real, Billie adds, but your body trusts it – still – like a loser. I mutter something like, yeah Discord is shit, the world is a fuck and you’re older and dad to a shifty cat I want to bury my face in. Ulysses […]

 
Staring into the eyes of many strangers to know oneself

Pinned Discussions Introductions: Please introduce yourself here. Imogen: Hi everyone! I’ll be first cab off the rank. I might not know you, but I’m sure you know me. How can I be so sure? I’m the person who has been answering every post on the discussion boards. And I’m no slouch, so I like to […]

 
Local Man Aghast After Discovering How Much Work His Wife Does Around the House

After transitioning to remote work during COVID-19 restrictions, HR manager Richie Monaco (39) was stunned to discover how much domestic labour his wife quietly performs every day. “Honestly, mate, I thought there wasn’t much for her to do,” confessed an exhausted Monaco during a Zoom interview with Farrago, rocking a newborn with his left hand […]

 
Arts sector continues to face challenges during COVID-19 pandemic

With Melbourne’s concert halls and theatres closed indefinitely to audiences, the arts sector continues to face challenges shifting online during the COVID-19 pandemic. On 13 March, Prime Minister Scott Morrison announced a ban on gatherings of up to 500 people. Just hours after Morrison’s announcement, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF) announced that it “will […]

 
“Vague and Confusing” : Students Challenged by Online Delivery of Stem Subjects

As the University of Melbourne continues to remain online for semester two, STEM students worry that their studies are at a disadvantage after their experience in online labs and practicals during semester one. While specific arrangements for practical classes vary across subjects and faculties, many units within the Faculty of Science have transitioned their in-person […]

 
Secret Spaces: The George Paton Gallery

“There’s no gallery on the Parkville campus!” This was me in 2017. Unfortunately, I hear my sentiments echoed across the campus. There is, in fact, a gallery on campus – a rather important gallery. The George Paton Gallery (GPG) Founded in 1971 as the Ewing and George Paton Gallery, GPG is located on level 2 of […]

 
Delayed Response to COVID-19 Leaves Unimelb Exchange Students Stranded

University of Melbourne exchange students found their plans thrown into jeopardy as Australia first enforced bans towards interstate and overseas travellers. When Victoria first went into lockdown in March, many students—local and international—struggled to receive sound advice on how the rest of their semester would unfold. The response from the University of Melbourne to coronavirus […]

 
Goddess, Murderess, Virgin, Whore

So, mother, go back to your quarters. Tend to your own tasks…as for giving orders, men will see to that, but I, most of all: hold the reins of power in this house.

 
A Non-Exhaustive List of the Very Specific Things I Miss About (the Parkville) Campus

Reader, did campus ever really exist? Or was it some very expensive collective hallucination we all had? After all, it’s been months (weeks? decades? time is bizarre this year) since I set foot in the place, and my memories of it are becoming ever-hazier.  Kidding aside, I do miss campus. Not its flashier, brashier aspects […]

 
Pick Your Own Adventure: A Guide to Being Alone at 2AM

You’ve found yourself here again. 2am, seated at a cluttered table, lost in your thoughts. A few years shy of 25, you think you’ve lived enough years to feel wiser than you do.  Instead, you’re sitting here with more questions than answers, unable to shake off an overwhelming sense of unease and dread about the […]

 
Review: LOWITJA

Stuart Rintoul: LOWITJA Allen & Unwin, 2020. ISBN, 9781760875602, $45, pp. 392.   Powerful words for a powerful woman. The authorised biography of Lowitja O’Donoghue explores the price she paid as a self empowered woman in a country that was not yet ready for her strength. I have to admit that before reading this book I was […]

 
The Fight for Education

The cost of Law, Commerce and Humanities degrees is set to increase by up to 113 per cent after the Coalition struck a deal with the Centre Alliance party, which passed the Job-Ready Graduates package through the Senate on Thursday 8 October. The bill is aimed at reducing fees for courses that align with the […]

 
Review: Ellis Island

Malgorzata Szejnert: Ellis Island Scribe Publications, 2020 ISBN, 9781950354054, pp. 400, $49.99   To be honest, I didn’t go into Malgorzata Szejnert’s Ellis Island: A People’s History with the highest of expectations. Its title implied a generic (if slightly dull) history of America’s busiest immigration inspection station, through which over 12 million immigrants passed into New […]

 
Why Bystander Intervention Matters

You would think that our public spaces being almost empty during a pandemic would make them free of harassment. Yet, throughout the pandemic, we’ve seen people from all walks of life experience harassment—from school children to fellow students at the University, people experiencing homelessness to Melbourne city councillors. Harassment is pervasive; however, not everyone is […]

 
The Curtain Calls For You to Think: Friends

The Mean Girls movie taught us that “on Wednesdays we wear pink” and taught me that I related the most to that girl who cried and wanted to bake a cake made of “smiles and rainbows” because I too have a lot of feelings.

 
Edition Three 2020 Editorial

Bethany Cherry The world has become overwhelming. Our lives have become numbers, names have become movements, and reminders of how ‘well’ everyone else is handling this pandemic are being projected all over the walls like trophies. I want an honest conversation about how unhealthy this is. The inclination of the human is to connect, something […]

 
Review: no visible bruises: what we don’t know about domestic violence can kill us

Snyder shines the light primarily on the American justice system as she breaks her book down into three sections “The End”, “The Beginning” and “The Middle”, which explore how we come to know about domestic abuse and how it can be born.

 
Review: Meet the Mullets

Comfy in my pyjamas and sitting in my bedroom I decided to take myself to the theatre buuut being 2020 this meant clicking a Zoom link, hoping for some semblance of the ritual of theatre-going that I know and love.  The Travelling Sisters (Lucy Fox, Laura Trenerry and Ell Sachs), an award-winning physical comedy troupe […]

 
Review: The Pact – A Slow-Burn Mystery for the Zoom Era

Bitten By Production’s 2020 theatrical season was one of the many creative casualties of the COVID-19 pandemic. Not to be stymied by the lockdown performance drought, the company has produced a 14-episode miniseries instead, bringing together a team of emerging writers to create a compelling story from isolation. The episodes are punchy and short, telling […]

 
2020 UMSU Candidates

Are you voting in the 2020 UMSU Elections? UMSU Election week is from the 7-11 September 2020. Here you can find links to your candidates and their statements below in alphabetical order by position. If you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate in reaching out to the Deputy Returning Officer, Stephen Luntz. Other relevant information […]

 
Hum, thrum

I’ve always lived in the eastern suburbs. Where I live, there’s these hills with TV towers on them that loom over suburbia. No matter where you are, you can see them from almost every point. And they have this permanent electric thrumming sound—an unrelenting suburban melody. The persistence of the hills, with their watchful eyes […]

 
Flash Fiction Edition Three 2020: Time

The Fifth Dimension by Felicity Lacey We walked through the doors of the campus café and into the fifth dimension, where it suddenly became like looking at life through a bubble blown into sunlight. The average world distorted into rainbow hues that oozed and eased into gentle curves. I remember laughing as we sank into […]

 
how I would like to believe in tenderness

Looming antiquities when the past had teeth and bottletops, hammocked days toes intertwined, hand on tit, This was love. and dripping manhood, too hot to catch The doorknob was slippery with what, i don’t know and then, furious as an unkept promise tethered to its pursuer purpose unknown like the finger tattoo the lip tattoo […]

 
wake early to be late

suppose I set my alarm so I wake graceful, without a start, open my eyes to a squared sky, where the world is only birds and clouds suppose birds are not birds but feathered clouds drifting in and out of not clouds but faded cloth suppose birds are words but words are not birds –– […]

 
Fruit Fly

What is this fruit that smells of plastic?  Surely, there is an apple in this vast expanse bordered with white illumination. Look!          There!                   That reddish sheen is unmistakable. So focused is my vision, framed on you.          Your yellow […]

 
Masterpiece in Retrograde

Dusk nights upon dreary bushfires. I wait holding a crystal glass, filled two thirds the colour of the sky. Your charcoal fingers knock on the door, leaving ash on oak. Avant-garde Miscreant is how you signed your works. My house is now a gilded frame. The floor of sketches, the walls of colour theory, the […]

 
Bitter dust

Ama, Amie, Amour – everyone called you along those lines. Ama, Amie, Amour defined you, roped you like a confused braid.  Little storyteller, little dancer, the girl with purple ballet shoes wrapped in silk.  See my eyes? My favourite tale. You told it after you cried. After my father said everyone talked about you and […]

 
Hot Air Balloon

Sitting in a waste-paper basket drifting off into oblivion waiting for the rest of the world to follow. The earth is an acrylic treat, an impressionist spattering of quiet vermillion, lilac grey, oak brown. Our balloon leaves a mark in the sky. It’s a shadow, an omen telling ground dwellers to leave, to fly. We […]

 
and much besides, your life depends on it

danger wore a bolt purple dress he reads poems as bedtime stories to the children kneeled at his feet in bewildered woods widowed where he could have been jesus he borrows tongues like promises like weapons so to dance in dapples he doesn’t let me in i had seen him before in somebody else’s arms […]

 
Review: Something That May Shock and Discredit You

Daniel M. Lavery: Something That May Shock and Discredit You Scribe Publications, 2020. ISBN, 9781922310040, pp. 256, $29.99   Something That May Shock and Discredit You is a work that is incredibly comforting for a trans reader. It is, at its heart, a sincere exercise in reckoning with what ‘trans’ is, for a trans person, […]

 
UMSU Annual Elections

UMSU Annual Elections The University of Melbourne Student Union Elections will be held from 7th-11th September to elect student representatives for 2021. The UMSU constitution requires elections to be held on paper, not online. Consequently, voting will be held through a combination of in person (if possible) and postal voting. Voting for University Council Student […]

 
Conflict Surrounding Performative Allyship in UMSU Students’ Council

CONTENT WARNING: racism, white supremacy, police brutality, First Nations deaths in custody and other references to cultural genocide that have in particular impacted First Nations People of Australia. This article includes references to deceased First Nations People. When Jessie Ferrari, the Indigenous Representative on Students’ Council, alongside councillor Thonya Deverall and the University of Melbourne […]

 
Edition Four 2020 Content List

A content list is a collection of prompts, ideas that the editors collect to direct the theme and content of the magazine. The Farrago content list is a way to begin, to be inspired, and  is by no means an exhaustive list of content—you can pitch your own ideas or send in cold submissions. We […]

 
A Hidden Struggle: COVID-19 and International Student Mental Health

According to international students from the University of Melbourne, the COVID-19 crisis, in particular its effects on their academics and financial situations, has had a detrimental impact on their mental health. 

 
“Apology without action means nothing”: First Nations students denounce the destruction of sacred sites

On June 17, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Indigenous Department and and the other UMSU student representative departments released a joint statement condemning Rio Tinto’s destruction of a sacred site in the Western Pilbara, referring to the mining company’s decision as “an act of cultural genocide”.

 
University concedes to vet students’ demands

The University of Melbourne has adjusted its accommodation of veterinary students following pushback after its announcement that students would be evicted from Kendall Hall because of COVID-19 restrictions.   In a May 26 meeting between the Melbourne Veterinary School and veterinary students, it was revealed that fourth-year students with accommodation at Werribee Campus had five business […]

 
Behind the Signs, a March Towards Justice

This news opinion piece mentions Indigenous deaths in custody, suicide, child abuse, racial genocide, and police violence. Cultural warning for references to deceased persons. Featured photo by Finley Tobin.  The size of the crowd meeting the urgency of the moment, tens of thousands of Victorians attended the Black Lives Matter rally in Naarm (Melbourne) on […]

 
International students’ demand for fee relief and compensation

Students at the University of Melbourne have come together to campaign for the reduction and compensation of their tuition fees following the switch to online classes. Gathering on platforms like Facebook, over 3,500 students have in the last two months joined groups such as UNIMELB-Fee Reduction-Online Teaching-COVID 19, where they are sharing experiences and grievances around a widely perceived deterioration in teaching quality.

 
2020 results excluded from entrance scores for medicine, dentistry, optometry and physiotherapy

No student results from 2020 will be recognised by the University of Melbourne for applications to the doctorate degrees in medicine, dentistry, optometry and physiotherapy in 2021.

 
University Casuals Slipping Through The Cracks

Casual staff at the University of Melbourne are facing significant financial insecurity amidst of COVID-19 pandemic, as measures implemented by university management and the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) to save jobs places them in a greater state of precarity.  Early in May, the NTEU proceeded with the release of the National Jobs Protection Framework […]

 
Queues for ‘Our Shout’ food vouchers span blocks around Melbourne Town Hall

Hundreds of international students were spotted queueing around the Melbourne Town Hall building since Thursday, 30 May to redeem cash vouchers given by the Melbourne City Council through its ‘Our Shout’ program. Students were required to provide proof of identity and redeem their vouchers in person to avoid fraud.

 
Green jobs must be protected: University of Melbourne staff address the Vice-Chancellor

The University of Melbourne’s National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) Climate Justice Network has published an open letter to Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell demanding job security for energy and climate scientists as the economic toll of COVID-19 mounts in the tertiary education sector.

 
“Endorse Terrorism”: Hong Kong Students Angered by the University’s HKPF Recruitment Post

Over 1,300 people have signed an online petition demanding the University of Melbourne to remove a controversial Hong Kong Police Force (HKPF) recruitment listing from the Career Online Job Board, calling the University’s decision to keep the advertisement as “endors[ing] terrorism”. 

 
University of Melbourne Rejects National Jobs Protection Framework

The University of Melbourne will not participate in the National Jobs Protection Framework as proposed by the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU), describing it as a “complex, bureaucratic mechanism” in an email to staff on Friday.

 
Weapons Manufacturer’s Partnership with University and UMSU Raises Tough Ethical Questions

University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU)-affiliated clubs were selected for funding from the defence company Boeing, potentially breaching the Union’s own constitution, sponsorship policy, and official public stance.  In 2019, Boeing — ranked the second-highest grossing global weapons manufacturer for the last three years — committed to partnership funding for both the University’s School of […]

 
My Timetable

The new decade has seen the University adopt a new timetabling system, with MyTimetable’s preferential class allocations replacing my.unimelb. This change has been polarising. A statement released online by the University indicates that the system is designed to confer an “equitable opportunity” for all students to receive their “preferred class timetable”.  “By following a preference-based […]

 
Overcoming the ripple effect of normative gender stereotypes to attain gender equality

There persists a misunderstanding between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’, which often has a negative impact when shaping and representing gender roles within society.  The Oxford Dictionary refers to ‘sex’ as the biological characteristics that define a person based on their reproductive functions. It refers to ‘gender’ more fluidly – with broader reference to social and cultural […]

 
UMSU Condemns University Inaction on Racist Buildings

CW: eugenics and racism. On 13 February, University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) Students’ Council passed a motion titled “Stop celebrating eugenics!”. The motion requested  the University to rename buildings named after eugenicists and acknowledge their racism. The motion “[reaffirmed UMSU’s] stance against racism” and “called upon the University to make some formal acknowledgement of […]

 
Secret Spaces: A Review of From Heart + Mind at the Dax Centre

CW: mental illness, psychological and physical trauma.  In challenging and uncertain times, art is a creative medium for staying on top of mental health and coming to terms with isolation and identity.  This connection between art and mental health is the focus of From Heart + Mind, an exhibition which showed at the Dax Centre […]

 
Local Student Perfects Work-Life Balance

PARKVILLE—Local student and identical twin Simon Whitaker, 21, confirmed on Monday that he has discovered the secret to a perfect work-life balance. “It’s taken a few years of trial and error, but we—pardon me—I have finally struck gold and come across the best way to balance all my competing commitments,” boasted the at-peace Whitaker to […]

 
Flash Fiction Edition Two 2020: Firework

by Vanessa Lee January, February pressed their lips to my neck, leaving sunburn and blisters behind. They apologised, of course, and laid our heads in their laps. We dreamt like it was January 1st of summers past, fireworks dancing in our eyes.  When the rain came, I danced alone on the baked earth of my […]

 
Lonely Hearts of the Animal Kingdom

Male Giraffe “Kinkshamers need not respond.” Hello, fellow equal! I think there’s one thing we should get out of the way and I hope this won’t offend you. You see, I’m a big user of the “C” word: consent. We all like to get a little freaky sometimes. But I want to make sure you’re […]

 
Badass Women

Up next we have the lovely walking encyclopedia, Hypatia of Alexandria. The daughter of a well-respected academic, Hypatia was an Ancient Greek-Egyptian astronomer, mathematician and philosopher who was born around 350 CE (Common Era). She was raised outside the constricting gender roles within Egyptian-Greek society by her forward thinking Papa and thrived as a professor […]

 
The Cherryman: Overneath the Cold Cracked Hall

On the moon’s longest night, during the feast of Lune Harbour, cupped mead and slight comments danced courtly between Queen Sabbas IX and her duchesses and ladies. Jesters, firebreathers, novel conjurers and their travel-worn familiars paid tribute. Drunken commonfolk with crumpled invitations bawled their gratitude. Flourishing, grovelling, performing, and staying silently prayerful in the presence […]

 
The Proposal

I am going now, into the soft swooning night. Sleep well, sweetheart, I will be back soon. I need to talk to the night, that sweltering air enveloping us all, carrying us precariously to dawn. I need to talk to something that is not you. After an evening such as the one we’ve passed, there […]

 
Gran and Me On Tour

“Guard, Gran.” “Yes, I know! Such a charming guide!” “No, Gran, he’s a guard… a guard.” “…He’s going to get a big tip from me! And that accent! O there’s nothing more magical than an Irishman’s tongue!” she winks as a flush accelerates across my face. “Shall I ask if he’s single?”  “Gran!” Her imagination […]

 
? (You)

Two boats cast their fishing nets, I am the mermaid caught in the middle, ??,??, they both compete.  They reach for spears when they realise ??????????. And isn’t it better to kill, Than have a creature of two worlds?  The waves offer me up treacherously, ???????, I’m sushi ready to be served, ???????. ??? scraped […]

 
Devotion(s)

CW: coercive relationships, implied dysphoria and implied transphobia Say we’re sat cross-legged, however many of us, arms twined watching Lizzie McGuire re-runs where she has her first kiss on our Switch, her heart broken when Ronnie says later–we all repeat– We need to talk, in different voices. You are impersonating Ronnie deliciously: the small fry […]

 
missing (a found poem)

content warning: child abuse, death, kidnapping, abduction and violence. a pink Barbie book bag buried in a public park lipstick marks on a pimpled face denim pants and a scar on her knee picking peaches from a neighbour’s tree cherries on her left shoulder blade long ponytails in spring clowns in the rear window deep-set […]

 
Zipper

Picture my mouth as a zipper, one that you open and close whenever you like.  If I talk too much you slide that cold metal across my lips and force me to be silent if I talk too little you push words inside my wet cave of a mouth.  I rip the zipper from my […]

 
Sunset

Observe the objective world  directly through the senses.                                    Representations are undermined                                     from glitches in the physiology                                     of the brain.   Sunset, various parts of Melbourne city.  Loud crowds distract and fluorescent lights distract and Graceful infrastructure Blocks the view

 
Second to Last

i. you only know you’re successful when you have rocks in your mouth when your mouth is where your chest was now tectonic-plated, clashing the right-brained and the left-handed so a new mountain was raised of a molehill mind— to brave teacup-storms with, to balance coffee on,   you don’t open your mouth for fear […]

 
Fantasy

When the quarter moon sets,                                       Something is perhaps known, or even                              a line descends                                                    revealed in the moonlight, between him and him, them and them, her and her                                                   

 
Eternity and Time

I The moon in a tea cosy     twinkles at half mast our bones and eyes     a sprinkle of stardust on the canvas of time She dances from swell to swell     swaying from the rigging  A tinkling of the whales’ windchimes                                                                                                               The blue water of dawn filled the room. &n

 
A Buddhist Funeral on Reunion Day

CW: death There’s nothing in that area, you warned me too late, after I alighted into a cartography of auto-workshops, flat stretches of old grass; the shadowy hull of Eunoia Junior College. Once humming with gasoline, the asphalt lies as if dead no pink flags rumbling in the distance, no trucks ferrying the din of […]

 
DURIAN/DURIAN

Durian,  Much loved, yet maligned fruit Your spiky, intimidating appearance masks something hidden, enticingly forbidden, tempting us to indulge our lips inside your unknown landscape of custardy flesh And like a mole working its deception, you take everyone unawares when you are exposed Your musky, exotic aroma is mysterious Nefarious even So when your presence is […]

 
Review: Partition Voices

Bari is the Bengali word for one’s ancestral home; it is your desh, the place that always holds an important key to understanding who you are. For those uprooted – and often traumatised, as the people in this series of true stories often are – the idea of bari is a confusing one…

 
University of Melbourne fossil fuel ties run deep

Despite long-running campaigns calling for a transition away from the fossil fuel industry, the University of Melbourne continues to foster ties with the world’s largest carbon emitters, including Saudi Aramco and ExxonMobil.

 
COVID-19 Welfare Explainer

Has COVID-19 impacted you financially? There is plenty of financial support for students at the moment if you know where to look.

 
UMSU Condemns University Inaction Against The Bushfire Crisis

In its 22 January Students’ Council meeting, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) condemned the University of Melbourne for not fulfilling its duty of care to students and staff in the Summer Term, during which bushfires in East Gippsland led to hazardous levels of air quality. 

 
A Sex and Dating Guide During COVID-19

With many countries going into lockdown and millions staying home, the coronavirus is definitely the biggest cockblock of 2020. Couples and single folks alike are wondering: “How the hell do I get freaky in a time like this?”.

 
UMSU Condemns the University’s Handling of Alleged Sexual Assault Against PhD Student 

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) has condemned the University’s actions following the revelation of a $700,000 payout to a former international PhD student and survivor of alleged sexual harassment and assault.  

 
Students and staff critical of residential colleges’ response to coronavirus

Current and former students at the University of Melbourne’s residential colleges have expressed frustration and concern about their administrations’ handling of the COVID-19 outbreak.

 
COVID-19: International Students

The campus should close for the safety of all students and staff. But, we ask that the university make the necessary accommodations that would be equitable for ALL students moving forward.

 
Battle of the Animation Studios: Disney vs DreamWorks

Animated films are an integral part of the movie industry, regularly topping the box office and working as a reflection of society. Almost everyone has a soft spot for animated movies, regardless of age. Being lost in a child’s world allows adult worries to disappear, if only for a moment. 

 
SATIRE: Sponsored post — Languagely

Do you find communicating with your peers difficult? Is the burden of individual expression… burdensome? Would you rather spend your time critiquing the failings of others without exposing yourself to the same threat?
Help is here. With Languagely, never again will you have to think about how to express yourself effectively.

 
Quiet Entitlement: The Problem with Mum and Dad Investors

Australians need to change the way we view buying a house. Since the Menzies era, owning your own home has been integral to the Australian dream. A right afforded to those who worked hard and paid their taxes. Good citizens.

 
Not a teenager, not an adult

Then it hits me: is this how my twenties are supposed to be? A cycle of day drinking before marching through the doors of the Royal Exhibition Building every exam season? I cannot drive. I cannot cook. I have never touched a water bill in my life. Surely this is not how my parents envisioned my adulthood when traversing seas for a better life. 

 
BIG LOVE

I was 14 when Mum and Dad brought Billie home. 

 
A Third Culture Kid's Experience: Sex

Every sexual experience that I have had has boiled down to one governing emotion: guilt.

 
Flash Fiction Edition One 2020: Summer

100 words or less.
Theme: Summer

 
Strange little boy

they call you

  Strange, little boy.

 
UniMelb online learning transition leaves students and staff without support
Several students wearing face masks sit in the Old Quad.

On March 16, the University announced lectures and tutorials with over 500 students were required to cease face-to-face teaching by the following day. Classes with over 25 students but fewer than 500 will need to be online-only by March 30.

 
OPINION: Observing Australia During the Bushfire Crisis

The last few months in Australia have seen frustration and confusion towards the Australian Government and their response to bushfires among the residents of the country.

 
Metro Tunnel ‘On Track’ For Success

Four of Melbourne’s busiest rail lines were replaced by buses for the majority of January, as construction of the Metro Tunnel continued. 

 
Australian Creatives Rally for Bushfire Relief

As donations towards the recovery effort for Australia’s unprecedented bushfire season nears $500 million dollars, the arts community has rallied around these fundraising efforts, with a wide range events, auctions and pledges organised around the country in the past months.

 
UMSU Updates

Students’ Council so far…
In the first Students’ Council meeting of the 2020 term, Students’ Council passed UMSU’s budget for this year.

 
How to Forget Him

Smash the amulet
that you are so sure
holds his eyes within it

 
The Cherryman: The Boy from Stormwater

The first child born to a god brought the moon back.

 
Losing Grip

John woke up with a grenade in his hand.
That wasn’t the worst of it. His alarm said he was going to be late for work.

 
The Place Where the Stars Have Gone

He tells you to meet him on level six of that car park tucked behind the shops. There must be nowhere else to park at this time of night. You don’t realise it’s the rooftop.

 
the snow falls softly

they run
losing memories like leaves

 
Love Note: 54

You are still there.
Frozen

 
I Follow Your Route

A moth in the sink is
Not a broccoli

 
for joy.

the sky’s sparkling with fractured light
the champagne has bubbled our heads

 
pomegranate streetwalker

I’m seven 
pushing my bike down the lane 
the crunchy gravel sounds delicious

 
gallery of rotten riches

under the withered moon of catastrophe
a strain on the blueberry sky.

 
kitchen ants

They reverberate their
pheromone calls

 
Melbourne Within Me: Excerpts From My Journal

189 Elgin Street is a cafe which holds what I thought we had lost: good soup and a slow view. It is a museum of inefficient objects put to dance.

 
Review: Goodbye, Elton John

This concert was 50 years in the making, and my goodness did it exceed my highly-set expectations! 
After performing in Melbourne multiple times throughout his long and successful career, Sir Elton John took his last bow on a Melbourne stage on Sunday 15th December. This 150th show of his Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour was performed at a packed Rod Laver Arena, full to the brim of fans who were eagerly awaiting the chance to see Elton perform one last time.

 
COVID-19 Liveblog

Farrago have a number of reporters working on pieces about COVID-19 (Coronavirus) that are still developing. Unfortunately, the nature of the pandemic has resulted in rapidly changing information from our sources, and the university itself. As a result we are setting up this Liveblog so we can provide information to you in a timely manner.

 
Melbourne Law School’s Response to COVID-19
University of Melbourne Logo

The Melbourne Law School has announced plans to make available recordings of all streams of compulsory subjects in response to growing concerns around COVID-19.

 
Review: Pollen Revolution @ Asia TOPA

Despite being younger than his mentors, Akira Kasai is considered to be one of the most established figures of butoh, starting his own studio in Japan–before studying Eurythmy (expressive movement art) in Germany. Kasai’s wide range of influences is evident in Pollen Revolution, brought for the first time to the Melbourne stage by Dancehouse Theatre.

 
Commencement Ceremony Crashed by Dual Protests

Billed as “the core of the Melbourne Orientation experience,” the Melbourne Commencement Ceremony was derailed on Tuesday afternoon by two protest actions, demanding both university action and student mobilisation. Both the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) and Unimelb Students for Climate Justice staged separate protests at the Royal Exhibition Building, where the event was being […]

 
Barbara Strozzi

Welcome to Canon in She, a column all about women composers, their fascinating lives and brilliant music.

 
OPINION: Pride March, Pertinent and Powerful in 2020
Midsumma Festival

I’ve been an out-and-about queer for the last five years, but 2020 marked my first year marching with pride as I joined the Graduate Student Association contingent. Walking with the colour, fanfare, love and welcomed embrace that is synonymous with the Pride March, I was reminded of how important these events (and my attendance) are […]

 
Review: Laneway Festival – Rock and roll is dead. God bless.

St Jerome’s Laneway Festival, known affectionately as ‘Laneway’, made the move from the concrete jungle of Footscray’s Community Arts Centre to the luscious wonderland of Footscray Park in 2019. The name celebrates the event’s roots as a boutique inner-city festival born in the back alleys of Lonsdale Street, but the 2020 rendition of Laneway Melbourne was a far cry from its modest beginnings. 

 
Menstrual Cups: Yay or Nay

Menstrual cups, the lesser-known alternative to managing periods have recently come to the spotlight as climate crisis is becoming more evident, and public participation to the matter is resulting in positive and effective turns (ngl, we woke).

 
Review: DreamWorks Animation: The Exhibition

Beginning as a celebration of the studio’s 20th anniversary, the collection of creative works on display has grown with each new film released in the late 2010’s, culminating in a behind-the-scenes peak at 37 animated features. Unlike a theme-park or premiere event, where the emphasis is placed upon the visitor and their interactions with film characters, DreamWorks Animation: The Exhibition is very much a celebration of the filmmakers and creative processes behind each film.  

 
Review: The Last Free Man and Other Stories

I must say there is a strangely melancholic tinge when reading a book so heavily steeped in Australiana as you fly out of Australia. For a book like The Last Free Man, this culminates in the desire to stare out the window at the vastness of the Australian wilderness and for a brief moment be alone (blessedly, when one’s seat is in front of a small screaming child) as Jimmy Healy does in the opening story of the same name. 

 
Review: The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse takes inspiration from Edgar Allen Poe’s work to create a dark, filthy and perversely comedic chamber piece of hallucination and repression. A hyper-stylised aesthetic plunges viewers into the eerie, miserable atmosphere of a remote island in 1890s New England.

 
Uni Response to Coronavirus Shocks Chinese International Students

Chinese international students are distressed by the University of Melbourne’s refusal to delay term dates, despite Australia banning travel from China in response to the coronavirus outbreak. The announcement, which was also circulated via the Vice-Chancellor’s email on 3 February, indicated that no disruptions to the usual summer term and Semester One schedules would occur. […]

 
Edition Two 2020 Content List

Edition Two 2020 submissions are now open! Check out our content list for groovy prompts and inspiration!

 
Review: A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood

A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood arrives in the midst of yet another tepid Oscar season, squashed within a crowded line-up of adapted true stories, including the downfall of Roger Ailes (Bombshell [2020]), the denouement of Judy Garland’s career (Judy [2019]), and some cars going vroom vroom very fast (Ford v Ferrari [2019]).

 
Review: How accurate is the film Bombshell?

Bombshell succeeds at a lot of things: incredible prosthetics and makeup, captivating audiences while evoking intense emotion, and using clever wordplay in the title of the film. The movie follows three blonde “bombshells” through the challenges and devastation of sexual harassment which ultimately ends in a different kind of bombshell.

 
Climate Protest Goes Ahead Despite Criticism From Authorities

Thousands of Melburnians gathered at the State Library on Friday to demand immediate climate action.  Despite persistent rain, protestors filled the steps of the library and overflowed onto Swanston Street and La Trobe Street, before marching through the city. Around 30,000 people attended the march according to organisers Uni Students for Climate Justice. The student […]

 
Review: Cats

At its core, it is a wildly CGI’d musical movie about cats begging to die, starring some of the most iconic people in entertainment (plus James Corden).

 
Review: Little Women

Little Women (2019) is a radical re-arranging of Alcott’s novel, a tapestry of moments rather than a chronological narrative.

 
Edition One 2020 Content List

Edition One 2020 Submissions are now open! Check out our content list for groovy ideas and inspiration!

 
Review: Atlantics

French-Senegalese filmmaker Mati Diop’s feature film debut, Atlantics, is a sensitively crafted, dream-like journey haunted by the desire for freedom.

 
Former UMSU President Molly Willmott elected NUS President
Willmott as incoming NUS President

On the third day of the National Conference (NatCon), former University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) President Molly Willmott was elected President of the National Union of Students (NUS). Following withdrawals, her election was unopposed. As a member of the National Labor Students (NLS), Willmott succeeded Desiree Cai, also from the University of Melbourne.  These […]

 
Tooti Fruity

The correct way to break a rambutan open is to use a knife. I call that the coward’s way. If you’re a lawless rebel like me, you bite into it whole, cringing at the sudden bitterness the break in the skin fills your mouth with, then use your teeth to rip the rest of it away.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

In an age where we can barely last the year without
buying a new smartphone and throw ageing possessions before they have a chance to decay, it’s puzzling why we still refuse to throw away the remnants of the toxic colonial mindset.

 
All that Glitters is not Gold

While it is a privilege to be able to afford an education abroad, many unspoken costs like underpaid wages, homesickness, cultural shock, financial instability and underemployment came as a surprise. But as an international student, I’m not sure if these costs are worth the price our parents pay.

 
Kiss and Tell

After my breakup with the Michael Clifford lookalike, I started seeing more people of colour. Not that Michael Clifford ruined white men for me, I just felt more comfortable around people like me.

 
NUS Thursday Ballot

Ballots will be cast this morning, determining the National Union of Students (NUS) leadership for 2020. Ahead of today’s vote, Farrago can confirm the results of many key positions that now stand unopposed following withdrawals from candidates. Votes are being cast until 1:30 pm by NUS delegates and proxies outside Studio Theatre in the building.  […]

 
Farrago 1999 vs Farrago 2019: What’s Changed?

Earlier this year, a friend took me to a party hosted by Guy Rundle, the Melbourne writer, in his flat in South Yarra. People perched on the edge of couches and drank wine from coffee mugs as if it were a student party, even though most of the attendees were twice that age. Somehow the topic of Farrago came up, and I mentioned that I had co-edited the magazine in 1999. Guy introduced me to two other former editors who were there: Prue from 1988 and Sean from 1992.

 
2019 NatCon Liveblog

Here are our live updates of #nusnatcon2019

 
Tutorial Torture

Last semester, I graduated from the University of Melbourne with a Bachelor of Science. I am overall complimentary about the teaching I experienced, but one area my experience has been inconsistent, to say the least, is tutorials. This got me thinking: what is the best way to support students consolidating what they learn in lectures? I spoke to students, tutors and lecturers to see how they felt about tutorials. What I found was that many factors influence the (sometimes contradictory) opini

 
Stalls for All

The Stalls For All report published by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Queer department has found a need to change bathroom facilities due to exclusionary tendencies towards trans, intersex and gender diverse staff and students.

 
Academic Freedom to Hate

The University defends the employment of these academics and their right to express their views. “The University must be a place for the exchange and challenge of knowledge and ideas, undertaken with a shared respect for competing points of view,” Vice Chancellor Duncan Maskell says.

But, should academic freedom of speech override the right of students and staff to feel safe on campus?

On one side sits the University of Melbourne and select members of its faculty. On the ot

 
Stand Up for your new student representatives

The 2019 University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) annual elections are wrapped up, with long-standing ticket Stand Up! recording a landslide victory.

 
Edition Seven Editorial

We acknowledge Farrago is created on land that always has and always will belong to the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. This land is stolen and sovereignty was never ceded, and no acknowledgement is enough to give it back. We pay respect to elders past, present and emerging, and to all Aboriginal and Torres […]

 
Review: Knives Out

Rian Johnson’s modern murder mystery is the most fun you’ll have in a movie theatre this year, and it’s smart enough that its many pleasures come totally guilt-free.

 
2020 UMSU Budget Liveblog

Follow our updates for UMSU’s budget in 2020 here.

 
Review: NT Live: Fleabag

Fleabag was a like a surprisingly uncomfortable massage into knots I didn’t know I had. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s one woman show kneaded into my internalised shame surrounding: my sexuality, my adolescent selfishness and the healthy mix of narcissism and crippling insecurity that’s etched into my 20-something soul. I left the cinema feeling looser and better for […]

 
Review: The Report

Scott Z. Burns’ rigorous dramatisation of the real-life investigation into the CIA’s use of torture after 9/11 is as meticulous and uncompromising as its subject. What does it mean today to make a film so rigidly devoted to the truth? Multiple times during the 2-hour runtime of The Report, I found myself watching Adam Driver’s […]

 
Review: Joker

One of the most highly anticipated films of the year, Todd Phillips’ Joker (2019) has cackled and danced into cinemas with a resounding BANG! This newest iteration of the clown menace has had a lot to live up to, with viewers wondering if Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal will join Heath Ledger’s The Dark Night (2008) performance […]

 
Fate of refugee activists’ “Divest from Detention” campaign against Melbourne University unclear

Refugee advocacy group RISE has renewed calls for the University of Melbourne to sever ties with detention centre security, after the group’s initial divestment campaign was undermined by misinformation.

 
See You Later, Space Cowboy

The words resonate as they pass through Annalise’s sunken mind but like a shooting star; disappearing into the void as quickly as they came.

 
Gums

Your fungus / begins to / age inside / its new / porcelain cage.

 
Woof

when someone asks / what I want to be when I grow up / I respond / a dog.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 7

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
Cooking Words

Unwrapping the tinfoil, Oops, the intonation of a sentence / is overcooked; the content of a sentence is / meaningless.

 
Flash Fiction: Puppets

100-words-or-less pieces about ghosts for Farrago 2019 Edition 7.

 
Police response to mining protests reach boiling point

Seventeen activists were arrested on the second day of the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) amid Victoria Police’s increasingly violent response to the IMARC blockade. Police also upped the ante, employing large amounts of pepper spray at least four times today. The effects of pepper spray are more severe than those of tear gas.

 
I was pepper sprayed by police at IMARC (even though I was a journalist)

Today, it didn’t matter who you were—young or old, protester or observer—no one was exempt from the tyrannical-style of brutality displaced by Victoria Police.

At approximately 9:20am this morning (only half an hour after arriving), myself and another Farrago reporter were pepper sprayed by police. And before you ask; no, neither of us were involved in the protest.

 
Waters of South Lawn bloodied in protest of University sponsorship of mining conference

The waters of the South Lawn moat flowed crimson on Wednesday 23 October as protestors gathered in opposition to the University’s involvement in the upcoming International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC).

 
The Lighthouse and the Mechanic

The two of us still pretending to be butterflies, holed up in our terraced cocoon for weeks watching the fists of clouds paint the sky winter white.

 
Secret Servings

My mother is in the kitchen, a tiny moving blur amongst maroon teak cabinets. Sunlight is pouring in and I am bent over my homework, scribbling away to glory, when I cough.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 6

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
Tales of Tragedy Through Art and Post-Human Madness

Chris Martin’s thin lips glisten under the stage lights as he succinctly delivers the monologue.

 
drifting

i would ask you things / and you would only look / upon me / and spit on me softly

 
Pink

The room could sense something different about this body. Different, but not unfamiliar. It could feel the body’s heartbeat echoing through the soles of their feet, casting shockwaves up the walls.

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 6

In Greek myth Thanatos, the god of death, was said to be as beautiful as Eros. Death could be like having a love arrow shot in you—but what do you focus on?

 
Flash Fiction: Unsolicited Advice

100-words-or-less pieces about unsolicited advice for Farrago 2019 Edition 6.

 
Paint to Poetry: In the Pink

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
Regulating Language

To many of us, the idea of languages tied to a country seems normal. People in England speak English, people in Japan speak Japanese, people in Croatia speak Croatian, and so on. Is this a hard and fast rule? Of course not, but to some extent it’s still considered the norm. But why does this perception exist when it’s not the case with the majority of languages?

 
How Death Brought an Atheist Closer to God: An Exploration into the Mental State of a Grieving Mind

I shrouded myself in the scent of frosted berries. The autumn breeze drifted into my room as I dressed. It was Mother’s Day. However, as I wore my linen turtleneck and gold earrings, the day felt heavy on my shoulders. In many ways, it was ironic that it was Mother’s Day. My mother’s grief floods through the phone with each call this past year. That morning, she calls me and tells me how she slept next to my Aunty the previous night. She tells me about the groans of pain that were subst

 
Burn City Sound Systems: How Sound System Music is Shaking Melbourne’s Underground Music Scene

Melbourne’s underground music scene is a living organism I had always been aware of but was never cool or curious enough to dive into and experience. Then, two years ago, I was dragged unwittingly to a dub music event—known in the scene as a “dance”—expecting dubstep and to have a terrible time. Instead I was welcomed into a community dedicated to growing their scene, to making important strides in pursuit of social justice, and to throwing an awesome party.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell—a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

Have you ever walked into the wrong lecture during week 1 of the semester? There’s something about the anxiety and the irreplaceable feeling of everyone’s eyes on
you that nothing else can quite replicate.

 
Kiss and Tell

It was July 23rd. I waited at Melbourne Airport’s Rideshare pick-up zone for about 6 minutes before the black Honda HR-V arrived. The driver helped me with my luggage—as most drivers at the airport do. We got in the car and the questions began.

 
Local Man Ready to Give Up as Third Group Chat Message in a Row is Left on Seen

A local man has today been left wondering where it all went wrong after he messaged a group chat hoping to grab some beers tonight, but was instead served absolute donuts.

 
What’s in a tree? Melbourne’s best kept secret is at The Dax Centre

In your hurry to class you might have rushed past Australia’s only heritage-listed art collection. Tucked away in a quiet corner on the University of Melbourne’s Parkville campus sits over 16,000 artworks, one of only three collections in the world of its kind. “Someone once said to me that The Dax Centre was Melbourne’s best kept secret,” said director Charmaine Smith.

 
Feathered Friend Fuels Facebook Feud

Baillieu Library’s resident albino pigeon has become the source of a heated Facebook debate between students attempting to name the bird.

Over semester break, the Facebook page Pigeon at the Baillieu Library ran an online competition to determine its name.

 
Students and staff join global climate strike with green light from the University

On Friday 20 September, a contingent of University of Melbourne students and staff attended the Global Climate Strike, with the unprecedented endorsement of the University.

 
UMSU International expresses concerns with constitutional changes

On Friday 13 September, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) and UMSU International signed an agreement to address UMSU International’s concerns about the constitutional changes passed during the Special General Meeting (SGM) on 17 September.

 
Review: The Bride Test

The Bride Test is a really pure novel. It explores the intricacies of family, immigration, mental health, grief and so much more.

 
WATCH: Kashmir: No Longer Special

World’s most militarized zone and India’s only Muslim majority region, Kashmir, was stripped of its special status under Article 370 by the Indian government last month. Amidst an indefinite lockdown, Kashmiris in Melbourne raise their voice against the decision. Dilpreet Kaur reports. ?????

 
Djab Wurrung Protests Against CPB

In the early hours of 29 August, protestors gathered outside of CPB Contractors office building to criticise their involvement in the Western Highway Upgrade, which will cause the destruction of Djab Wurrung land and sacred trees.

 
Review: Julia Michaels

We all have an inner monologue, that little persistent voice inside that narrates our every thought and feeling, but Julia Michaels has taken it to the next level, bringing her Inner Monologue Tour to Melbourne, for one night only.

 
UMSU 2019 Elections Results Live

Welcome to Farrago‘s liveblog of the University of Melbourne Student Union election results. We’ll be posting results for all positions live from the count room as they come in. Alain Nguyen and Stephanie Zhang will be giving you a live count and analysis of the initial wave of results as polls close. You can view […]

 
UMSU Elections 2019 Live Updates

Follow Farrago’s coverage of the 2019 University of Melbourne Student Union here.

 
UMSU Elections Rundown: the who and the what of student election season explained

Well, well, well. It’s that time of year again: student election season. Unfortunately, it’s a time many of us dread. The university grounds become overrun with student politics hopefuls donning an array of coloured shirts and handing out flyers. They’ll be asking for your vote and trying to promote their policies on improving the student experience, and they may even chase you down on your way to class to chew your ear off.

 
Regulating Language

Because of the cumulative effects of assimilation over many generations, Ainu’s uniqueness is in danger of being lost forever. There are only a handful of native speakers left—perhaps as few as fifteen—and all of them are elderly. While there is a much higher number of second-language speakers with varying degrees of fluency, without concerted efforts to protect it, Ainu’s chances of survival are, sadly, quite low.

 
The History of the Dildo

Ever wonder how ancient humans passed all those cold nights in stony caves, or when we realised a little added buzz could go a long way? Well, welcome to the history lesson they’re still refusing to teach. From forgotten literary works to surprising archaeological discovers, it’s clear our ancestors were getting down with their bad selves long before Christian Grey. So, without further ado, let’s jump in our time machine and get ready for the ride of our lives. It’s time to learn abou

 
Kiss and Tell

Pine. Verb. Erund or present participle: pining • Miss or long for. “She’s still pining for them” I’ve never pined for someone. I think pining for someone is a complete waste of time and energy. Oh, you’re hurt? Well, suck it up. It’s not the end of the world. It happens, you know? Break ups. […]

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

If you explained the premise of the movie 127 Hours to any ‘third culture kid’, almost all of us would be able to substitute ourselves in for the protagonist. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is a sentiment we know all too well.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell, a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
Edition Five Editorial

The campus has been a ghost town the last couple of months while we were putting Edition 5 together. It’s our busiest time of year right now with lots of media-related projects on the go—so a little bit of peace and quiet was probably necessary—but we’re so excited to have people in and out of the office asking us for stuff again with the new semester commencing. If you find yourself in Union House, come and say hello sometime! The media space and office is on Level 4, and our door is

 
Desperate Lecturer Resorts to Using Clickbait Lecture Titles to Bring Up Attendance

Due to recent slump in lecture attendance, history lecturer, Dr. Lindsey Farrow, has decided to spice things up. Inspired by highly viewed YouTube content, Dr. Farrow has reportedly begun using clickbait titles in order to get her students excited about learning and attending.

 
Diversity Issues in UMSU International

On 13th May 2019, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) International elected a new committee which will lead the union from
August 2019 to July 2020. This year’s newly elected committee continues the trend of previous years’ of having dominance by students from South
East Asian countries such as Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia. To Farrago’s understanding, every member of the current committee is from Asia.

 
Mudfest Regeneration from August 21-28

The University’s biennial student-run arts festival Mudfest will run August 21-28.

 
Messages

Collaged text, messages from friends.

 
The Fairytale Gazette

After damning allegations that Red Riding Hood left her missing grandmother to fend for herself in the woods, she has now pronounced that her grandmother has been found dead at the edge of the woods.

 
How to Emulate the Love Queens

Found poem from The Naughty Book for Girls by Candice Hill, which maintains a 1.83 star review on Goodreads.

 
Studio Flat

It’s a passive act to survive entirely on spinach & food textures more usually chewed in the thick of an apocalyptic-type emergency.

 
Murukami’s Nightmare (808s & Fantasy Vol. 2)

Murukami sits in a sole green bog in an ashen wasteland, knees pinned to ground by rusting nails. His arms, detached, caress and cradle his head as an acid wind blows harshly.

 
Back Home

I remember my mum’s friends gossiping (dark eyes darting, pink lips pursing around sour words) about another woman’s daughter who went to the USA, about how it ‘turned her gay’, “she shouldn’t bring it back here.”

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 5

You’re reading Hellboy in Hell—cornered in a pocket of the Brunswick library—the collected trade paperback of the original comics run. Hellboy is in Hell, because. He falls as a beating heart through the mouth of a petrified giant.

 
my year on the dance floor

Drowning in the weight of becoming, nobody could have guessed the simple noise it left ringing in our ears.

 
Flash Fiction: Ghosts

100-words-or-less pieces about ghosts for Farrago 2019 Edition 6.

 
Employment Prospects

After long hours of studying, sleepless nights, endless assignments and exams, successes and failures, graduation day feels surreal. It seems like in the blink of an eye, your entire university life is over, and it’s time for the next chapter. Many students turn to university programs that aim to provide resources and guidance to job seekers. However, these systems are not without fault, and raise questions as to how useful they are in practice. This anxiety is always hidden behind the euph

 
Muslim MLS Student Accuses Faculty of Intimidation

Melbourne Law School (MLS) student X* has accused the MLS of misusing its power through intimidation and silencing. This accusation arose after his attempts at raising concerns with the Associate Dean and submitting an open letter to the Law students newspaper De Minimis. The article criticised what he saw as the MLS’s failure to address structural issues Muslim students face in the legal community.

 
Review: X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Returning to the Dark Phoenix Saga 13 years after X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men: Dark Phoenix is tasked with retelling the Jean Grey story in a manner that is sufficiently fresh and respectful to the series’ first attempt, all the while winning the approval of new and dedicated fans.

 
Review: Normal People

In this sense, Normal People isn’t a groundbreaking story. It’s a story about all of these things—life, love, change, and coexistence—about which story after story have already been written. It grounds these ideas in four turbulent years of late adolescence and early adulthood, imperfect and unforgettable all at the same time.

 
Review: Dedicated

For a singer who is largely known by her one-off viral hits and saxophone-riffs-made-into-memes, Carly Rae Jepsen is remarkably serious about her craft. 

 
Review: Come From Away

Come From Away is an exploration of community and hope. Taking place in Gander, Newfoundland, the musical tells the true stories of 38 diverted planes on September 11 2001 and the days that followed. The Melbourne show’s 12 person cast delves into a series of characters – townsfolk and plane people – who share fears and hopes alike. The show will make you laugh and cry.

 
Rise in Sexual Misconduct Reports to the University

Sexual misconduct allegations have risen from eight in 2017 to 23 in 2018, according to documents released by the University of Melbourne.The documents, which include both responses to requests made within and outside the Freedom of Information Act (FOI), shed light on how the University has disciplined students accused of sexual assault and harassment.

 
Kiss and Tell

My romantic life has always been one that is tumultuous. To my friends, it’s one heck of a reality tv show that is always on demand – ready to provide spicy content, tears and drama. A real life ‘The Bachelorette’ that they so happily tune in to weekly or have a one-sitting binge watch. 

 
A Fight for $75 is a Fight for Freedom

Last year, I had been accepted to study the Master of Social Policy at the University of Melbourne. It was something that I was encouraged to do by the Professor of my undergrad, the Bachelor of Youth Work at Victoria University, due to my academic achievement, passion for youth issues, and a commitment to social justice on a structural level. I felt ecstatic, even though I did see a bit of an irony., Three years of hard work only to be rewarded with a further laborious three years? 

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: The Spontaneous Flight to Iceland

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
This is a story about a woman eating her husband’s liver.

I want to say that death is just a wound things grow around and that I Miss the way the world tasted back then, before life touched me like that, Cold Finger pressed to my Tongue; hurts like freezer-burn, tastes like freezer-burn.

 
Masters Hold a Meeting Over Wine

“Do you have wine?” Rebuffed inquired in a raspy voice.“No,” replied Oost. “Why? Should I?”Rebuffed inclined her head. “I just assumed.”Oost was silent for a time, perplexed. Rebuffed filled the space: “You know. Since we’re here.”

 
Flash Fiction: Periods

100-words-or-less pieces about periods for Farrago 2019 Edition 4.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 4

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
UM… What? A comprehensive guide to the history of our Student Union

For over 130 years, UMSU has been the heart of student life at the University of Melbourne. The history of the Union is heavily entwined with activism, radical politics and power struggles. Delving into the archives offers a detailed reflection of the issues facing students throughout the decades. Even the soon-to-be demolished Union House has layers of history hidden in plain sight: from anti-conscription barricades and police raids, to refugees avoiding deportation in a back room.

 
The Cursed Girl and the Cat and the Apocalypse

Time to implement the plan! Dude, get the car, the maps, I know we’re starting out in suburbs but I swear to God we’ll make it to the mountains, we fucking have to.

 
Mythologies

It has become more or less axiomatic that if women want to achieve equality in our time, we must first strip ourselves bare—revealing our worst shames, heartaches and sins so that we may be seen as utterly human. To be a woman in public these days is—more often than not—to be in the business of confession.

 
Faulty Fizzles

The bath bomb had been a delight for about five minutes. The walls became soaked in the scents of pear and cinnamon as the bomb fizzled into a pool of green. With her classical playlist serenading her, Jesmintha enjoyed her muscles sighing and her thoughts slowing their buzzing wings. Then the twitching began.

 
The Meaning of Wilderness

The word ‘wilderness’ conjures images of towering trees, forest paths, bubbling brooks and open skies. There are no buildings, no signs of human habitation, and there is a stillness or silence punctuated only by the wind, birdsong or animals scampering over leaf litter. This form of wilderness is linked to a longing for a life that is more in touch with the natural world. At the same time, this wilderness, in its emphasis on pristine, untouched nature, excludes human beings. How can we ex

 
Review: serpentwithfeet

This stripped-back set allowed for an immensely intimate performance where nothing else mattered besides the otherworldly falsetto voice onstage, and the introspective artist it belonged to.

 
Lecturer faces plagiarism charges after ‘borrowing’ memes to use in PowerPoint slides

There was tension in the air last night as media lecturer Jean Paul LeVol took a Cersei-esque walk of shame to the Dean’s office, after he was accused of plagiarism by failing to reference memes used in his PowerPoint slides. The University was notified of the lecturer’s theft after the Learning Management System (LMS) reported […]

 
A Pocket Of Peace In The Australian Bushland

I’ve found that my anxiety lessens on bushwalks. Standing still, the cool breeze against my skin, able to hear birds, frogs, and the rustle of leaves in the wind. I am able to free myself of societal constraints, prejudice and discrimination.

 
Am I Doing It Right?

Front-man Georgia Maq closed Camp Cope’s Falls Festival 2017 act demanding that 2018 be the year that minorities take to the forefront of the music scene. As I stood on the grass field, surrounded by hundreds of fans applauding this controversial statement—their song The Opener takes aim at the exclusionary nature of the industry with lines such as “yeah just get a female opener, that’ll fill the quota” and “it’s another straight cis man who knows more about this than me”—I

 
Review: Conrad Sewell

By 7pm, there was already a spate of eager concert-goers, lining the paint filled Hosier Lane.By 8pm, the mosh pit was filling up.

 
Review: Sometimes Always Never

Sometimes Always Never is at its best when it stays true to its core. It is a simple narrative. One that is hardly resolved and has no beginning, middle and end in the larger scheme of things. But it is a wonderful character analysis. An amazing exploration of love, despair and hope.

 
Review: El Vito!

Never did I think the question, “Ever had a dream?” and all the self-doubt and fear of rejection which comes with that question, would be so aptly summed up for me by a one-woman operatic show. Mari-Poša, mezzo-soprano, known simply on stage as Maria, delivers a soulful and vocally powerful performance in El Vito!, performed in Melbourne CBD’s quirky and cool Butterfly Club, accompanied by the heartfelt talents of pianist Julian Wade.

 
Review: Fern Brady: Power and Chaos

Scottish comic Fern Brady returns to Melbourne in 2019 for her second appearance at the MICF with her show Power and Chaos, following last year’s Suffer, Fools! and a successful year on the London circuit. Many Aussies would know Fern from her explosive Live at the Apollo set last year, where she came out as bisexual live on air and infuriated the notoriously homophobic Democratic Unionist Party in Northern Ireland. It probably didn’t help that she accused their leader of being a

 
Review: Felicity Ward: Busting a Nut

I don’t really know where the title for Felicity Ward’s latest show comes from. Honestly I’m not sure if I missed something, but I’m pretty sure it’s just something she thought would be funny. That’s not to say it doesn’t make sense; it does. Felicity’s comedy is bold enough, loud enough, and has enough singing and crying that I wouldn’t be surprised if some audience members didn’t bust their own nuts laughing along the way.

 
Review: The Selected Works of Abdullah the Cossack

I would say that H.M. Naqvi knows a lot of words. He, or at least his protagonist Abdullah, would prefer I call him verbose. Or maybe not even that. What about bombastic, magniloquent, fustian? If you had to look up any of those then you would know how I felt reading Naqvi’s second novel, The Selected Works of Abdullah the Cossack, a sprawling romp through Abdullah’s beloved city of Currachee, Pakistan. You would also realise that verbose and fustian don’t necessarily connote positive v

 
Review: Groovin the Moo

Nestled in the regional town of Bendigo this weekend were thousands of festival goers, dressed to impress and with plenty of glitter in tow. Groovin the Moo was back in town on 4 May (yes, there were Jedis, Storm Troopers and Wookies in the crowd, for those wondering) for its 11th year at the Prince of Wales Showgrounds. In 2017, promoter Steve Haplin said that around 20,000 people attended. From a glance, it seems safe to say that the number of people was just as big, if not even bigger, th

 
Review: Poopie Tum Tums

Signing up to review an unnamed sketch comedy show that your editors placed up for grabs in the Media Collective Facebook group is like a Tinder date. You get dressed up, agree to meet up at a bar couple hours after dark and hope that it would not end with you feeling violated in any way. I wish I could say that I walked out of Poopie Tum Tums with a sore stomach and a thirst for more, but alas, that was not the case. My housemate (whom I begrudgingly dragged to this 10pm show) and I both wal

 
Review: People Suck: A Musical Airing of Grievances

If you’ve ever sat through a really long rant from a mate because their date flaked out on them or someone stole their lunch at the office, you would already have a sense of what People Suck: A Musical Airing of Grievances is about. It is an hour-long song cycle with an indisputable premise: all the ways people suck. With its catchy melodies and strong vocal performance, the cast takes you through jealous bridesmaids, anti-vaxxers, the different types of annoying people at your office and m

 
Review: The Big HOO-HAA!

It was with much anticipation that I waited for one of the longest-running improv shows in the country to start. The Big HOO-HAA! usually occurs every Friday night at the Butterfly Club, but they were making a few exceptions for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The show has been crowned “the original and the best” improv comedy ensemble in Melbourne, and it is easy to see why. A couple minutes in and they’ve got the crowd howling with laughter.

 
Review: MTC Violent Outburst

Every year Melbourne Theatre Company (MTC) produces an education show, which is presented in the intimate Lawler Theatre before going on a regional tour. These productions have often been some of my favourite produced by the company, as they can afford to take more risks in script, actor and staging choices than in main stage productions. The 2019 education performance is The Violent Outburst that Drew Me to You, a 70 minute play by the Australian playwright Finegan Kruckemeyer. Directed by P

 
WATCH: Federal Election Live Coverage

Watch our live coverage here on Facebook. Executive Producer: Stephanie Zhang Technical Manager: Jesse Paris-Jourdan Results Announcers: Alison Ford, Jasper MacCuspie Hosts: Kaavya Jha, Annie Jiang, Alain Nguyen Student Panelists: Mark Yin, Lucy Williams, Allen Xiao, Jesse Gardner Russell Party Panelists: Ailish Hallinan (Greens), Joshua Munro (Labor), Jack Sharkey (Reason), Zachary August (Liberal) Data: Ed […]

 
University of Melbourne Not Favoured By Its Employees

Recent data suggests that the University of Melbourne is far behind other Australian institutions when it comes to improving academic gender equity.

 
Federal Election Wrap-Up

The democracy sausages have been sizzled and the votes have been cast, the polls reflected the perceived hopes of the nation and the Coalition roundly smashed these to the ground. Scott Morrison has done the unthinkable, after the disastrous LibSpill of 2018 he has recaptured the support of many Australians to become Prime Minister, once again, although this time through the decision of ordinary voters around the country.

 
A Ballotless By-Election

Following the resignation of several Office Bearers within the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), the Indigenous, Queer and Education Academic (EdAc) offices went to by-election from 6th-8th of May. However, with all nominated candidates running unopposed, the vacancies were filled without students being able to vote.

 
UMSU International Election Results

On 13th May 2019, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) International elected a new committee with Archit Agrawal as president, leading the committee for the upcoming term. The new term commences on 1st August 2019.

 
University of Melbourne Introduces Anonymous Register

Content warning: mentions of sexual harassment, sexual assaultIn March 2019, the University of Melbourne introduced an anonymous register. This platform allows students, staff, alumni or visitors to report any inappropriate behaviour on campus to The University without having to make an official complaint, or formally identifying themselves. This change could make it easier and less distressing for victims of assault and harassment to come forward.

 
Milam v University of Melbourne

Botched management of alleged misconduct by a recently- appointed Head of School has forced the University of Melbourne into a legal battle in the Australian Federal Court.

Appointed in April 2017, Professor Jennifer Milam, an art historian, took up her term as Head of the School of Culture and Communication on 1 January, 2018, but was suspended with full pay in late January this year following two colleagues’ allegations of academic misconduct.

 
Radical Education Week Recap

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Environment Collective held their third successive Radical Education Week during Week 7, from April 15 to 18. The week was a cross-campus event exploring radical ideas about education within and beyond the classroom.

 
Complementary Colours

“You’re probably going to paint this room a fluorescent green. Then the couch won’t match. It’ll look odd.” Jules groans. “Who cares? It doesn’t have to match! Some things just don’t match!” Like us, Mary wants to say, but she doesn’t.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

Imagine being one-quarter Sindhi, one-quarter Bengali, one-quarter Tamil and one-quarter Telegu and not being able to speak any of the languages from these areas. Imagine being the colour of a perfectly blended hot chocolate from Standing Room, but sounding like a cup of tea with almost a whole bottle of milk poured in.

 
Office Bearer Reports (Edition 3, 2019)

Find out what your OBs are up to!

 
Office Bearer Reports (Edition 2, 2019)

Find out what your OBs are up to!

 
Edition One Editorial

In the week leading up to sending this mag to print, each of the editors had a work-related stress dream.

 
Edition Two Editorial

Like everything else in Edition Two, we’ve left this until the very last minute and it barely feels real. We don’t know what’s going on, we’re weak, we’re tired, no-one is eating right.

 
Looking past the propaganda: the candidates of Kooyong

If this traditionally safe electorate were to become marginal or flip, it would be a major upset for the Coalition government. As unlikely as this scenario may seem, a recent poll conducted by Environmental Research+Counsel suggests that the Green’s Julian Burnside is closing in on Victoria’s highest ranking Liberal.

 
Trendy Equality

A report launched by the University of Melbourne late last year has found that the academic gender gap in Australian universities has narrowed over the last ten years and more females have achieved high level positions.

 
Mad About Inequality: Students with Disabilities

Limited data seems to exist about the prevalence of disability amongst the student body at the University of Melbourne. Is this because there are relatively few students with disabilities, in which case, is it because there are barriers to them accessing higher education?

 
Staff and students protest casualisation

University of Melbourne staff and students protested against the increasing casualisation of staff today in front of the Raymond Priestly Building.

 
Federal Election Coverage 2019

Welcome to Farrago’s coverage of the 2019 federal election.

 
Federal Budget Breakdown

The 2019 Federal Budget was announced on April 2, setting the tone for the Federal Election set on May 18. Finding the budget paper too long? Here are the highlights.

 
School Strike 4 Climate

On Wednesday March 15, an estimated 150,000 primary, high school, and tertiary students across the country walked out of class to protest the Australian government’s persistent inaction on climate change.0

 
Bike (Un)Co-operative

Despite the new cohort of office bearers (OBs), the Parkville campus’ bike co-op has yet to reopen. Over a year and a half since its supposed relocation, both current and previous Environment OBs allege University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) bureaucracy is behind the delay.

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: Poetry Through Time and Space

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
Schnitzel

A lady asked me for a chicken schnitzel and when I went to get her one I noticed that it was shaped exactly like Australia.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 3

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
guts and gutters

Things that fall out of people’s purses call out to me, imploring to be returned to what they are (not done being), what they’re made for, who they used to be with.

 
Aftermath

I believe in some hour threaded through all the years where you still kiss my face of lemon rind and rough hessian, boulder-wide, fish-scaled, round as a copper coin.

 
???????

Ascending sixty meters to a chimney top, touched the falling dusk. The cold sticky tongue of growling factories behind you.

 
Broken Lighter, Dead Bird

Here I am with love seeping out my pores again, sticky hearted always, sticky date pudding, B tastes so sweet. Teeth so crooked, my butterfly boy, freckled chest so sweet, smells so sweet, familiar, way he walks, so sweet, can’t stand it.

 
Paint to Poetry: Rise and Shine

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
For & Against: Squat Toilets

FOR by Anonymous You know what’s better than mind-blowing, gut-rearranging sex? Mind-blowing, gut-rearranging number twos. You heard it here first, and quite honestly, you’re welcome. Welcome to the secret, taboo world of squat toilets, arguably one of the last remaining bastions of human behaviour from the good old days, back when we used to shit into holes in the ground.

 
Mythologies

Do you remember being five years old and making yourself sick on too much chocolate? Remember learning for the first time that there is such a thing as too much? It must have seemed like such a strange idea before that moment, that you could have too much of anything. We were born needing.

 
Flash Fiction: Dating Apps

100-words-or-less pieces about dating apps for Farrago 2019 Edition 3.

 
What Happens Next?

It’s a Friday night and your day has been a little too straight. Luckily Netflix has that LGBTQ section to fix things up. For the next hour and a half, one of the worst films you will ever see in your life flickers across the screen. It can only be one of the worst, since you would have faced the same problem last Tuesday. Queer cinema is a mess.

 
Regulating Language

As a field of study, linguistics is a relative newcomer compared to more established social sciences like anthropology and psychology—but you might expect that linguists would have at least agreed where to draw the line between dialect and language. Alas, as always, the reality is much more complex.

 
Let Heroes Feel

I’m not by any means a superhero connoisseur. I’ve never read a comic book and most of the time I need the post-credit scenes of Marvel movies explained to me. While I’ve heard that many hero stories on paper are interesting and intelligent, I can’t help but notice how all of these action-filled hero films are just plain boring.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

I’m known in most circles as the loud, extroverted one. I know how to make an entrance, and, like fireworks, you can almost always hear me before you see me. I am often asked about where I get my confidence from, and how I have the ability to seemingly be so “intense” all the time.

 
An Interview With Nobody

It’s February. Another semester, another lot of housemates, classmates, lecturers, textbooks… But some students are already thinking ahead to next year: hiring rounds for 2020 government and corporate graduate programs are opening—and closing.

 
Budget Cuts: Stop 1 To Be Replaced by ‘Unimelb Love Letters’

Following recent budget cuts, the University of Melbourne has decided to axe Stop 1, choosing to replace the student services resource with the ‘Unimelb Love Letters’ Facebook page.

 
New study reveals South Lawn is the optimal spot for making out in front of everyone

A major new study conducted by the Victorian Institute of Geography and Impetuous Osculation (VIGIO) has found that South Lawn prevails as the finest location on campus for couples wanting to flaunt their amatory success in plain view of an abundance of loners.

 
Casual Work: The casualties of Melbourne University sessional staffing

The implementation of mandatory Working With Children Checks (WWCCs) at the University of Melbourne has added to concerns of unfair treatment of casual staff, putting the quality of education at the University at risk. Legislation was rolled out at the end of 2018 to account for the small percentage of university students that are still minors, but it does not specify who should pay for the checks, and casual staff are bearing the burden.

 
Review: Kirk Dangerous Kills the Prime Minister

In his one-man show, James Macaronas plunges his audience straight into a world that is both the familiar one we know, but also one of intrigue and exciting science fiction. Macaronas’ love and knowledge of science fiction is clear, with the show including elements reminiscent of Dr Who and other classic science fiction tropes.

 
Radical Education Week 2019 – Student Sustainability Forum Liveblog

Follow our coverage of the Student Sustainability Forum here!

 
The Ethics of Making an ‘Election Budget’

At a first glance, the 2019 Australia Budget looks too good to be true—the first surplus in forever! Tax cuts, which is basically free money, for everyone! Cash payments! Amazing!Until, of course, you realise that the federal election was announced for May 18. There’s no doubt that many elements of the coalition’s budget are designed to appeal to voters and keep the current government in power, but is this a cheap ploy with dubious ethical considerations?

 
Review: The Conference

Are you sick of corporate ice-breakers? Frustrated by the increasing casualisation of the workforce? Being crushed by the nightmare that is late-stage capitalism? Then The Conference, from HomeBrand Comedy, might be just the show for you!

 
Review: Nice People Nice Things Nice Situations

Going to Rhys Nicholson has become something of a tradition for my Mum and I. As we peruse the thick catalogue of shows for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival each year, he is one of the few acts that has remained on our list. That is, until this year when Mum decided she didn’t want to make the pilgrimage out to the city to see him. I was of a different opinion, and made the trip to the Victoria Hotel on a particularly dark and chilly evening.

 
Review: Red Noodle Blue

What happens when the director of your comedy show is a pool noodle and he goes missing in the space-time continuum? It’s not a question I ever imagined asking myself, but Red Noodle Blue does just that and somehow, even more?

 
Adventures in Student Cooking: Bootleg Possum Magic

I’ve been on exchange for around three months now. Overall, it’s been a pretty incredible experience; I love living in Amsterdam (not for the reasons that immediately come to mind) and it’s been amazing to sample the different foods available here. Though I am partial to liquorice or a good stroopwafel, bouts of homesickness do pop up. So here’s a few recipes to help you, if you ever feel the same; whether you’re on exchange or just feeling particularly nostalgic about Possum Magic.

 
Review: A Dog’s Way Home

A Dog’s Way Home is a heart-warming film about a rescue pup and her perilous journey home. Whilst the not the most intricate of plot lines, we, the viewers, are blessed with being able to watch a very cute dog on the screen for an hour and a bit.

 
Mad About Inequality: International Students

Are international students getting fair and equal access to education in Australia? I spoke to four international students, all current graduate students at the University of Melbourne, one of whom had also completed her undergraduate at the University. Three were Chinese international students, and one was Indian.

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: A Lively Market Visit

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
conditioning

wear the sun as a face mask,
as in what everyone else is doing,
but also do what you have to,
as in put what you are asked to do first

 
Crossing the Language Barrier

Behind the scenes of Australia’s highest-ranked university, a few Chinese international students at the University of Melbourne are struggling with their courses due to language barriers.

 
The Places You’ll Go

The University of Melbourne has set a target for 25 per cent of students to participate in overseas study by 2020, reflecting growing national demand to study abroad. The new target, along with changes to the Study Overseas program, form part of a concerted national push to simplify the process for domestic exchange students.

 
Waialua

Tide coming in, sun coming out. Rotten coconut skull cracked open on the clay earth. Scarf off jacket off, thin layers of fabric revealing inky skin. Snake tattoo looks like he’s swimming through yesterday’s shells.

 
808s & Fantasy

The scariest part of a dream is knowing the terrible things that are coming… because you’ve had that dream before. I feel that the moon is going to collapse in 3 days. In 3 days, the moon will fall and crush everything… I’ve been here before.

 
Joan

The whole world has somehow bent; the sky is fixed and dull, and slants hugely towards the earth, as if a single, immense piece has cracked and fallen loose.

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 2

So. Emily Dickinson—who may not resemble Emily Dickinson—is closing her eyes in the garret she rents from her boss. We agree there’s nothing much in her room. A bed. A chest of drawers and facsimile crucifix. A chair—the dress she arrived in slumps over its back, caked in sewage.

 
Milk Caps

The bottom was still scarred with rust, I tried to pick it off with my finger-nails like the skin
Left over from a
Popped pimple

 
For & Against: Clowns

FOR by April Nougher-Dayhew In 2016, ‘sightings’ of evil clowns popped up everywhere. IT was a hit, Melbourne band the Clowns received hate mail and Mississippi made it illegal to wear a clown costume for Halloween. Mass hysteria has tainted a diverse comic tradition which goes back millennia. Until the 18th century, monarchs sought jesters’ […]

 
Paint to Poetry: Orange Glow

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
“Monash is so Much Prettier Than Unimelb,” Remarks Mate who went to Monash

According to multiple close sources, Monash University is much more beautiful, spacious and welcoming than the University of Melbourne. These sources, primarily made up of your mates who went to went to Monash, reportedly leave no opportunity to compare the two campuses.

 
Regulating Language

Sign language is something that few people even experience in their daily lives, let alone learn. Even as a linguistics student, I’ve found that my education has focused exclusively on speech, with casual references made here and there on the applicability of theory used for spoken languages to sign language; even then, it’s mostly an afterthought.

 
Kiss and Tell

I started dipping my toes in the dating pool at 14 years old. It was an exciting time. I remember when I had my first boyfriend, Clark, a Melburnian boy just a few years older than me. Clark had blonde hair, blue eyes and baby scruff on his face. He reminded me a lot of Michael Clifford from 5 Seconds of Summer, except Clark didn’t play the guitar and spent most of his days playing Assassin’s Creed. Clark was sweet and 14-year-old me thought he was a 10/10 quality boyfriend because he

 
Sushi and Stramenopiles

Three and a half years ago, in a first year Genetics and the Evolution of Life lecture, I had an academic epiphany. The lecture itself was not one that you would expect to convert an aspiring speech pathologist into a marine biologist: the lecturer had inherited this section of the course from an academic who retired the previous year and had about as much idea of what was going on as we did. Blocks of lurid yellow text covered blue backgrounds, and the same slide of ‘Snowball Earth’ kept

 
Mediterranean Homosexuality

I wonder what it’d be like if Grindr had existed in the Roman Empire. Nude torsos, an appetite for gay sex and toxic masculinity—the Romans certainly weren’t that different (well, except for 4G and smartphones). In fact, if we compared the Roman Grindr to today’s, we’d find a surprising number of similarities, including users’ fear of “fems”.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

It is the year 1600 and India is dressed in the colours of the Mughal Empire. One of the world’s richest countries, it has a 23% share of the world economy. India opens her arms to the East India Company and over 200 years, royal colours of maroon and gold are forcibly replaced by white, blue and red. By the time the Company leaves in 1947, India has been turned into a poster child for third world poverty.

 
My father was at a mosque today

He is there every Friday for the Jumah congregational prayers. He prayed and listened to the Friday sermons, in a place that is still, serene and perhaps cosy. In a place where his heart is at ease. In a place where he reconnects with God.

 
Flash Fiction: Goats

100-words-or-less pieces about Goats for Farrago 2019 Edition 2.

 
Interview: Everyone Needs Therapy

Iszzy Williamson and Emily Weir make up the two parts of the fresh comedy duo bringing you Everyone Needs Therapy. Done with the trope of the comedian who justifies their depression with laughter, Weir and Williamson are out to show how getting help can be much funnier than staying sad. So why should you catch this political and absurd piece of theatre? We asked Iszzy and Emily. 

 
Vegie Patch Shutdown

Union House’s popular sandwich store ‘Vegie Patch’, amongst other stores, has closed down over the summer to the disappointment of many students.

 
See Ya Later Duldig

Paul Duldig has left his position as the Head of University Services, which he had held since 2014.

 
Students protest in front of Richard Wynne’s office to protect Djab Wurrung trees

Last Thursday, University of Melbourne students protested in front of State Minister for Planning Richard Wynne’s office against the planned removal of sacred trees for the Western Highway bypass.

 
NUS Launches Campaign Lobbying Government for More Student Support

The National Union of Students (NUS) have laid out their campaigning agenda titled “A Future Worth Fighting For”, aiming to lobby the government for improved student support and action on student issues.

 
Review: Jersey Boys

The world-renowned musical Jersey Boys tells the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, the rock and pop band who achieved massive international success during the 1960s and 70s. Since starting in 2005 in La Jolla, California, Jersey Boys has already toured the world in places like Broadway, West End, Japan and Singapore. It was first performed in Melbourne in 2009, and 10 years later it has returned to greet the Melbourne public once again at the Regent Theatre.

 
BREAKING: University Responds to Climate Strike Letter

The University has refused to support the School Strike 4 Climate and refused requests for staff and students to not be penalised for participating in the walk-off.

 
Is My Tutor Flirting with Me or Does He Just Want Me To Do the SES?

It’s the age old, end-of-semester question: is your cute tutor from PSYC20006 vying for your affections before you move onto PSYC30013 and split ways forever, or is he just trying to get you to complete the Student Experience Survey?

 
Caucasian Student “Gets How Racism Feels Now” After Experience as Minority in ECON10004

As excited as he was to embark on his Microeconomics breadth, Connor White, 18, has not found it easy to fit in.

 
Antony Hamilton & ‘Universal Estate’

In the middle of the dancefloor lie several elongated television screens stacked in a small pile, surrounded by wires. The speakers pulse in semi-unison, a fury of rhythmic beats that border between white noise and music. The screens flash in synchronized stripes of color. This forms the set to award-winning choreographer Antony Hamilton’s new dance piece, Universal Estate.

 
Office Bearer Reports (Edition 1, 2019)

Find out what your OBs are up to!

 
Casino Downs

A slender, green-tinted arm extends, casting a shadow over the amalgamated skyscrapers below. Its long, feeble fingers slowly wrap around the southern bridge as it tries to rip the rest of itself out of the black mirror on the side of the old casino. The void spits out a head encased in a blue bob and a body with armour hugging its figure so tight that a single wrong movement could crush its bones.

 
make way

will there be time to custom-make our age,
brand it with our initials and tie them
tight around our necks?

 
I’m a Poorly-Rated Sitcom Doctor and I Still Love You

In another life I am
a malpracticing physician
Rotten under pressure, my training was for naught
It’s a comedy! People die!

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 1

So. The premise is there are three planar components to the multiverse. The inner planes are the houses of elementals: dimensions of the spirits, and energies that set the universe going like a fat gold watch. There are dimensions here for the elements, for matter and antimatter, and however many smaller planes for all the forces that roll through the cosmos.

 
How to Stand Still

Did you dream about it? Mikah asks. Alice kneads at her eye with a knuckle, smudges the residue of her dreamscape. A train, my boss, a drowning sensation. She responds, No. I haven’t even thought about it. It’s true. When Mikah told Alice that Pete was dead, Alice didn’t feel the need to ask questions. It was like this: yesterday, I could call Pete and expect him to pick up. Today, I can’t.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 1

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
Moss

Is sponge-like, encouraging
soapy suds, moisture
to develop in its hide.
You pull at its hair
and come away
empty handed.

 
I’m Ready for the Acid to Wear Off Now

Look, He says, Stick your hand in your head
twist the oyster-grey tubes. Feel their pulse. Still nothing?
We’ve been through this Twice tonight.

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: The Delightfully Wholesome Genie

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
Paint to Poetry: Crossfire

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
Flash Fiction: Breakfast Television

100-words-or-less pieces about Breakfast Television for Farrago 2019 Edition 1.

 
Mad about inequality: Gender Representation in Mathematics Student Interviews

Student 1 I’m a second year studying pure maths, logic, and a dash of statistics. I’m not sure what I’m going to do after my degree, but I’m definitely considering postgrad logic. I’m also non-binary. I think my gender has definitely affected my studies. I’m often not comfortable being out as non-binary in class the […]

 
Mad about inequality: Gender Representation in Mathematics

In mathematics, there’s a big drop-off in percentage representation of female and non- binary students between undergraduate courses and postgraduate courses. So, to explore this further, I interviewed five women and one non- binary person who are currently undergraduate maths students at the University of Melbourne.

 
Campus Sustainability

The University of Melbourne’s new sustainability policies have been riddled with miscommunication between its implementation and its advertising.

 
#VicVotes Wrap-up

Saturday 24 November of last year saw Victorians head to the polls to vote in the state election. What was initially forecast to be a close Labor victory resulted in a rare political landslide, with Daniel Andrews regaining the premiership with apparent ease.

 
Bursting the Parkville Bubble

With most student services and events located at the Parkville campus, the student experience (or the lack thereof) at the satellite campuses is
often overlooked in favour of their bigger Parkville counterpart.

 
Budget Breakdown 2019

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) passed its budget for 2019 on 7 December 2018, with several funding increases to autonomous departments as well as considerations for the election year ahead.

 
New Scoreboard for MU Sport

A$250,000 state-of-the-art scoreboard has been installed at University Oval. Completed in September, the scoreboard is part of Melbourne University Sport’s (MU Sport) three- year plan to upgrade facilities at the Oval.

 
HELP!

University students supported by Higher Education Loan Program (HELP) will start paying back their loans earlier than before.

 
Review: The Lazy Show

As someone who only just purged the primary school art work still living in my drawers, and has had ‘go vegetarian’ on my to-do list for four years now but has never bothered to learn how to cook, I am well versed in the art of procrastination and chronic laziness. I believed there would be no better show to describe my terrible life choices than The Lazy Show, promoted as a mixture of stand-up comedy and personal storytelling by Nikki Viveca that captures what it means to be “a lazy pe

 
Grieving for an Acquaintance

I wasn’t close to Lucy*. We were regular performers in an annual low budget student theatre show. A rag tag collation of short plays, performance art and poetry readings.

 
Mythologies

2018 has been a good year for cowboys. They are no longer confined to your grandfather’s favourite Clint Eastwood films and the bitter dust of myth and history. The cowboy can be found on the catwalks of Milan and the bike paths of Brunswick. Where did all these cowboys come from? Where are these lonesome souls going?

 
Double Take

It’s the start of a new year. Returning students promise themselves that they’ll study earlier in the semester. Freshers undergo self-reinvention that inevitably boils down to an unflattering haircut.

 
Regulating Language

One of the first problems that you must solve when setting up an education system—though it’s probably not something that an Australian would ever think about—is what language it will use. Ideally, it should be one spoken widely by students, which is why English is a good fit for classrooms in Australia, Japanese is a good fit for classrooms in Japan, and so on.

 
Kiss and Tell

I was sitting in bed working (read: procrastinating) on an upcoming essay when the infamous “heyy” text lit up my screen. Here we go again, I thought to myself.

 
Baggy Greens and Blue Suits

You might well need a Foxtel subscription to notice, but a spectre is haunting Australian cricket–the spectre of capitalism.

 
Beyond subtle asian traits

What do you get when you combine memes about bubble tea, hilarious reaction videos, and multilingual puns? The answer is “subtle asian traits” (SAT), a Facebook group aimed at Asians living in the West. Originally started at the end of 2018, the group now has over a million members. Most of the people in this group share one trait in common: being the children of Asian immigrants in Western countries.

 
My Boot-Box of Rocks

Some people store collectibles in shoe-boxes, but for me I need a boot-box to store my rocks.

 
A Cup Above The Rest

Although the taboo surrounding menstruation is waning, pads and tampons still tend to triumph in popularity over the humble menstrual cup. According to a fascinating article by Natalie Shure in Pacific Standard magazine, the menstrual cup has a long history dating all the way back to the 1930s. That menstrual cups are today still largely unheard-of is, in my opinion, a travesty.  

 
Review: At Eternity’s Gate

In one of the first scenes of At Eternity’s Gate, a weary van Gogh (played by Willem Dafoe) arrives at the French town of Arles. His room, and the landscape surrounding it, has none of the vibrancy or vitality that we associate with his paintings. Instead, the town is established with a shot of a foggy field spotted with dying sunflowers.

 
UMSU education announces On Track passes

Students experiencing financial difficulties may now be able to apply for a free public transport pass as a result of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) education department’s campaign On Track. In order to obtain a seven day or 30 day On Track pass, students will need to apply to see Vanessa Stanton, the […]

 
Review: Laneway 2019

With only a slight promise of sun in the afternoon, punters were to experience a rollercoaster of a day. The 2019 line-up nonetheless promised a chance to witness some of live music’s finest. And no amount of questionable weather was going to stop the assembly of Melbourne’s music devotees.

 
Review: Sweet Phoebe

Contemporary classic Sweet Phoebe has been reimagined for Red Stitch Theatre under the direction of Mark Wilson, a quarter century after it premiered in Sydney starring a young Cate Blanchett. In this stark, intimate space, tightly wound couple Helen (Olivia Monticciolo) and Fraser (Marcus McKenzie) rove around their desperately upper-middle-class domain, eager to quash the insecurities plaguing them as they barrel towards mutually assured success.

 
Review: The Front Runner

The Front Runner – a new film from director Jason Reitman (Juno, Up in the Air) – examines the increasingly fraught relationship between America’s politicians and its media, using the story of leading presidential candidate Gary Hart (Hugh Jackman) and the events that undid his campaign in 1988.

 
Review: The Most Amazing Planet in the Universe

I love the idea of space. The thought of the countless other worlds just (or not so just) beyond our own has always been a source of inspiration for me. Despite this, I have no desire to ever venture out to visit space myself – space themed talks are the closest I’m ever going to get to exploring the universe. How perfect for me then that in his show Dr Phil Dooley, science writer, physicist, entertainer, pianist and singer, promises to “take you on a trip around the cosmos and reve

 
Review: Vox Lux

Natalie Portman stars in a fascinatingly original – though rather uneven – meditation on celebrity, trauma and the unexpected link between pop music and domestic terrorism.

 
Review: Dancing Qweens

There is little more anxiety-inducing in live theatre than the word ‘participation.’. But to describe James Welsby’s Dancing Qweens immersive and communal experience as simple participation would be a complete disservice to the queer time warp that Welsby’s alter ego, Valerie Hex, led us through at Carlton’s Dancehouse.

 
2019 Victorian Biodiversity Conference Liveblog

Follow our coverage of #vicbiocon19 here!

 
Review: Jorja Smith

Everyone was screaming the chorus, tears emerged on the faces of some attendees, possibly because the reality of witnessing Jorja Smith live was setting in.

 
Review: On the Basis of Sex

On the Basis of Sex is a heartfelt tribute to the United States Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, which captures the young woman as a struggling attorney and new mother, explaining how the first Jewish female Supreme Court Justice began her journey.

 
Sonja and Quentin’s Wank Weekend

What could a monogamous heterosexual couple of five and a half years stand to learn from the Midsumma Pussy Play and Wank Bank workshops? A lot, as it turns out.

 
Review: Storm Boy

I didn’t go into Storm Boy with high expectations. While the film does harness the strength of its source material, it can’t hold to a candle to the original story. Colin Thiele’s 1963 book and Henri Safran’s 1976 film will always hold a revered place in the Australian cultural imagination. This new remake, helmed by experienced television director Shawn Seet (Underbelly, House Husbands, All Saints), makes some crucial changes to the classic story, and never quite does justice to the

 
Review: Tales From Moominvalley and Moominvalley in November

Moomins are really having their day in the sun, and have been ever since Tove Jansson received her first letter from a business trying to trademark Little My for children’s period-training underpants. In Melbourne, you can buy random objects with their faces on them from Uniqlo, Miniso and every sort of artist’s market. Little My’s been the Twitter avi of the current Voiceworks Editor-in-Chief for as long as I can remember, and I have a turquoise portable phone charger with Moom

 
Liberal senator has sights set on cutting SSAF
MSD study spaces

Queensland Liberal Senator James McGrath has announced plans to introduce a private member’s bill to abolish student service and amenities fees (SSAF) when parliament reconvenes in February.

 
Review: Dumplin’

I am only new to Netflix, but the much-anticipated Netflix Original Dumplin’ has already made my subscription more than worth it. Based on the novel of the same name by Julie Murphy, the critically acclaimed film is set in small-town Texas, and is not only entertaining but important.

 
Review: Eighth Grade

Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade operates as a sort of time capsule. It takes the cringeworthy, the devastating, and the dizzying and doesn’t polish them. It simply presents their uncomfortable, brutal, visceral essence. In doing so, it becomes an authentic illustration with a real, honest beating heart.

 
Review: ‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’ in Concert

A long time ago (last Friday) in a galaxy far, far away (Melbourne), I attended the opening night of ‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back In Concert’, performed by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. It was, as you could imagine, amazing.

 
Review: The Favourite

Partway through Yorgos Lanthimos’ superb and vicious period drama-comedy The Favourite, a character remarks that she feels her life like “a maze [she] continually thinks [she’s] gotten out of only to find another corner right in front of [her].” Much the same could be said about The Favourite—its complex, acerbic and violently funny narrative thrills the viewer and haunts them in equal measure, leaving them deeply unsettled and not nearly escaped from Lanthimos’ wiles.

 
Review: Pick of the Litter

When someone tells you a story, regardless of how accurately the events are depicted, framing is important.

 
reflecting, re-examining and relocating

From the 27th of May to the 3rd of June each year it is National Reconciliation Week. The entire week celebrates Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander culture and history, as well as invites all of Australia to learn more about our stories and knowledge. It is also important to note that while Reconciliation Week is an important symbolic gesture, reconciliation is an ongoing project of decolonisation of our social, educational, legal and cultural institutions.

 
The Aesthetics of Perpetual Toil

Through an extravagant pose plastered on a billboard, Thai-Australian artist Kawita Vatanajyankur asks viewers to consider the human labour expended within their consumption habits. Vatanajyankur’s Carrier II, installed on the exterior of the University of Melbourne’s School of Mathematics and Statistics building, shows her body suspended by ropes against a blue background bearing towering fish baskets. The work illuminates the fraught relationship between humans and their labo

 
Former UMSU President Desiree Cai elected as NUS President

Former University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) President Desiree Cai has been elected President of the National Union of Students (NUS) on the second day of the annual National Conference (NatCon). 

 
NatCon 2018: Day One Wrap-Up

First day is under the belt! After a very long drive up to Ballarat, a quick lunch and a whole lot of waiting around, sessions came and went (prematurely or not) and day one was wrapped up by 10pm, hacks and reporters alike waiting for tomorrow with bated breath.

 
Review: Make Love and War: Cold War

For a Polish iron-curtain period film shot in black and white, this film is remarkably accessible. Its breezy 88-minute runtime surely contributes – while the film’s pace is leisurely, it never feels belaboured.

 
Review: From Dawn to Dusk, New Sun Poems where Beveridge Rises

Beveridge begins with a sunrise of colours that melt across the page, however the middle half of her collection felt gloomy and the divide between Wolf Notes and Storm and Honey was strong and jarring. But to watch her poems adapt and to feel a sense of accomplishment, that’s something I want to learn from.

 
Hollow

His fingernails are covered in dirt,
their black edges resemble black
moons black wings of Death’s-head
hawkmoths and black birds.

 
Ho Ho Hold Up!

The night was sweltering, despite all the jingles. Snow was a laughable concept for this part of the globe. A white Christmas even more so. Handcrafted snowflakes in windows were a poor substitute, but this festive season brought out a desperation like no other. Harry made himself comfortable on the roof, keeping his swinging legs from hitting the gutter. It was imperative that his hiding spot wasn’t compromised, for his opponent had been in the game long enough to prove a worthy challenge.

 
Ceramics

Broken Seven Deadly Sins

 
 
 
Imagining Parkville Campus

Sometimes I walk past vegetation around uni and get momentary vibes, like I have been transported to another place in my mind. I want to share with you where I get transported to. Lying on my back on a tropical island. Actual location: Gate 10 near Grattan Street Sitting on a river bank amongst papyrus […]

 
2018 Photography Spread

Zoë Alford Wen Qiu Troy Cameron Sherrylyne Jennifer Sherry Aine Te Supassara (Sara) Tripun Supassara (Sara) Tripun Rakesh Gill Rachel Morley Qaisara Mohamad Nikhilesh Chaudhari Maggy Liu Jessica Herne Ilsa Harun Derrick Duan

 
 
 
 
 
Voting Above The Line Versus Below The Line: An Explainer

If you vote below the line, you have to number at least five boxes, but your vote will be exhausted once you finish numbering the boxes. This means that you know exactly who you are voting for.

 
Art

 
 
 
A Bunch of Reviews

Farrago is ecstatic to announce that we will be publishing a novel for the first time this summer. The Catastrophic Fantasy by Kangli Hu comes out on 26 December. Get your advance copy today for just $99.99. Take a look at what people are saying below!

 
 
 
Detritus

These images come from a series of experiments I’ve been conducting on my housemates, illuminating how our combined presence builds up, interacts, and merges with our home.

 
Review: Fahrenheit 11/9—paralysing, but important

This movie was probably the most terrifying thing I’ve seen recently. Admittedly I’m not usually a fan of horror movies, but Michael Moore’s most recent documentary, Fahrenheit 11/9, was something of a wake-up call for me

 
Victorian Election Coverage 2018

Welcome to Farrago’s coverage of the 2018 state election, occurring on 24 November.

 
Review: The Girl in the Spider’s Web—Sugary Asphyxiation

Hollywood’s lolly pythons have squeezed the thrill from the fourth thriller in the Millennium series, the Girl in the Spiders Web.  In-keeping with the tradition of ‘translating’ complex narratives into packet pancakes (sugar-coated, two-dimensional, easily franchised), the Girl in the Spider’s Web wastes a talented cast on tired tropes and a plot that ties itself in knots only to arrive at an obvious conclusion.

 
The Problem With Travel

Later this year I’m travelling to South-East Asia for three months, and I feel gut-wrenchingly guilty about it. It’s not only because of the carbon emissions involved in flying, nor the chequered and problematic history of white people journeying through Asia over the centuries. Since long before Elizabeth Gilbert ate, prayed, and loved around the globe, people from one place have travelled to another place, returning with souvenirs, stories and “new” ideas. It’s tempting to

 
Opinion: Unimelb’s Switch to Single-Ply Shows Capitalism Has Failed

At its best, market capitalism is a positive force driving change, innovation, growth and prosperity. At its worst, it’s an excuse to reduce one of the most intimate human experiences (taking a shit) to a cost-saving calculus.

 
UniMelb To Introduce Anti-Cheating Software That Tracks All Thoughts And Actions Of Students

In a shocking announcement, the University of Melbourne has revealed the implementation of an anti-cheating software capable of recording every single thought experienced by any given student.

 
Women in Higher Education: A Conversation Worth Having

At the beginning of August, the University of Melbourne held its annual Women in Higher Education Week, aiming to explore the experiences of women in tertiary education, both the positive aspects and some of the challenges. A few weeks later, as some sort of distantly linked follow-up, I had the chance to moderate a panel aiming to unpack some of the gendered structures that affect women in this field and explore avenues for change.

 
Explainer: The US Midterms

This week in America, on the first Tuesday of November, a very different race will stop a very different nation. It is a race with much more at stake. It is a race to majorities in the House of Representatives and Senate. It is, among other things, a race to be Governor in 36 states, to legalise recreational marijuana in Michigan and to give ex-felons the right to vote in Florida. This Tuesday, America votes in the midterm elections.

 
Review: Suspiria—Dance ’Till You’re Dead

Director Luca Guadagnino is back following his 2017 romance-smash Call Me By Your Name, and boy, are we a long way from sun-soaked Italy. Suspiria takes us to late 1970s Berlin, into the terrifying secrets at the heart of the Helena Markos Dance Company. Guadagnino’s remix of a remake departs in several places from the original Suspiria, directed in 1977 by Dario Argento, but casts a similarly powerful spell.

 
Review: Beautiful Boy

You can never prepare for everything in life. Nic teaches you this. But what you can try and do is cherish what you have and never let it go. With me it was important to bring my friend along for the journey. With Nic, he needed his dad with him for that.

 
Taylor Swift Reclaims Her Reputation at Melbourne Stadium Tour

Last Friday night, Taylor Swift wowed a sold out stadium of swifties as she brought her Reputation Tour to Melbourne. “We just have the most fun as a tour in Australia, you make us feel so at home”, she told the crowd during her performance. In an explosion of sound, colour and confetti, the Nashville […]

 
Semantics

  in a cabin above the irksome sea where the electric heater thaws us we make pancakes for lunch pasta for dinner we play at domesticity we watch a movie we disagree vehemently the night appoints us fools you tell me you love me let’s retire these ugly games and go to bed

 
winter

winter’s drain
in sophie’s skin
hands soaked
in summers knowledge

 
Flash Fiction Eight: Endings.

This story ends with a girl whose hair is too long for her liking. Seven new songs, unwashed swimmers, and a pair of luggage tags for the flight home tomorrow. She has a lump in her throat that’s been there for two months. Everything’s tasted bitter since September.

 
Two poems: Ionian cup 570-550 BCE and Life of Art

I sit reading for so long that my legs tingle
with guilt, and the arms of the chair
become my arms. For a moment
I feel the stiffness in your back.

 
Pillow

I’m not a light sleeper, but something woke me in the middle of the night. It wasn’t something particular—like a sound or smell—but rather, a presence.

 
Mince Meat for Magpies

I scoop the complaining cat into my arms and cradle it like a baby. Oliver stands outside the kitchen door, throwing the mince meat balls out onto the lawn. One magpie appears, then two, three, swooping in on the easy breakfast. More magpies swoop from the sky until the lawn is dotted with them. Oliver throws the last ball and comes inside.

 
????

The way it starts is the way it ends and I kiss you like the worst I’ve ever had is a paper cut. I dream of asking you out for coffee, watch the flowers grow in real time. You live above me so I stick stars on the ceiling. I’m hoping that they’ll help you sleep better.

 
Polysporin

I found a tube
Half used and congealed in the cap.
I wore it overnight on the pimples I keep picking.

 
MARY SHELLEY DIED FOR OUR SINS

I called her every Saturday morning, though, and played ‘Wuthering Heights’ by Kate Bush into the phone. I wouldn’t say anything, just play the song as soon as she answered and then hang up when it finished. I never did explain why and I think she hated it, but it became such a habit that she just answered every week without fail.

 
in utero waste

in these crumpled bricks of homes
holding whips of thoughts in domes
passed by ten thousand garden gnomes
fear is crawling in my bones

 
new york poems

no more than drowned apostles,
or burnt moths.
you are simply a colour
i can never touch again.

 
more than wedded to the house

(but all I think of is the discounted sunscreen I’ve bought,
whether it will be effective in shielding you from the heat of
anger, fear, contempt, love, pride and shame.)

 
It’s Just One of Those Things

You can remember when he used to sit there amongst the eucalyptus trees and the brown dirt. Coffee in that old white mug, words of some society or organisation faded from the ceramics and from your memory too. The air of your backyard entering his lungs becoming his heartbeat, slow and steady and sure.

 
TO ALL THE GIRLS I’VE LOVED BEFORE

She of the dark hair
We’re writing secret notes to each other and sticking them on each other’s binders.
The teacher side-eyes us while commenting on how ‘lesbianism’ is bad.
I snort.

 
Two poems: pescivore and cavalier

a dead tongue refutes you
r claim to landed purity
with the pound of flesh
flush with the want of salt

 
Part Eight: “What is the end of study? Let me know.”

He thought of his wicked tutor Dan, those evil ticket inspectors, those bothersome essays. Such a cold and uncaring world. But then he paused. He stopped and he thought. How he wished he could leave, pursued by no care. But he did care. He now cared for this world. He thought of Chloe, his friendship, the laughter and joy. He thought of Professor David and the comedy show he performed. Such warmth and love this world did possess. ‘Twas a mingled yarn, with good and ill together.

 
annual general meeting

an ornament of openness
a decoration of dedication to change, at
the annual general meeting?

 
Review: Sidesault at The Melba

Overall, these three shows took me on a rollercoaster of a night I will remember for a long time. If you had some disposable income to spare, I highly encourage you to check out the other three shows as part of Sidesault at The Melba and see if any of them pique your interest. I guarantee it will be a unique experience that your childhood self would never have known a circus could be.

 
Review: Suddenly Last Summer by Tennessee Williams at Red Stitch Theatre

When the lights went back up and the actors stepped forward to take a bow, it was abrupt. It felt surreal to see all of them smiling and holding hands just moments after they were trying to get as far away from each other as possible. I walked out in a daze, my mind still racing to figure out what just happened.

 
Photography Team Showcase

This campus-y photo series is brought to you by Farrago’s new photography team. Each photo captures a little bit of uni life, and since we are off to a long break, we thought it would be perfect to say goodbye with photos.

 
Campus News Briefing: Ormond, Forestry, Cops

Welcome to your latest campus news briefing.

 
Australians, all let us JUI-TSO-ERH-SSU

The booth is fashioned out of rusty corrugated iron. It sits in Mon Pop Gallery, a pop-up space on the fake-grass patio opposite the Melbourne Uni tram stop; an area students habitually ignore. Facetiously resembling an outhouse, the booth stands tall; a placard informs us this is an impermanent fixture, an installation by the Asian-Australian artist Siying Zhou. On the back a sign reads ‘Karaoke Bar for Our National Anthem’ in a hokey ‘oriental’ font, which conjures the memory of swe

 
Playing with Power

Placed on an external wall of the ERC Library at Parkville, Power/Play’s large vinyl billboard greets you with open arms and uterine glee on entry to the campus. In the image, a worker is shoved into the lower left corner, a cleaning woman with mop in hand speaking silently to the marginalized voices of lower waged and predominantly part-time work of women, especially of immigrants, women of colour and single mothers. Two youthful exuberant women dominate the centre of the work, fo

 
an orchestra of forces

Viewed separately, each frame depicts a moment where the pre-existing social landscape is either challenged or laid bare, prompting shifts in its underlying structures, assumptions and foundations. Viewed in succession, they represent the shaping of a collective history. Each encounter, from mundane to monumental, is part of a wider cultural context that traverses social, generational and temporal borders. The flexibility of borders and boundaries is mirrored by the environment of the work. T

 
Academics and Students Show Solidarity With Refugees

Hundreds of academics and students joined the national protest at the University of Melbourne to call for the end of offshore detention and the inhumane treatments and offshore detention of refugees on Manus Island and Nauru.

 
Student Poverty Levels High

Recent data from Universities Australia, the peak body for Australian tertiary institutions, revealed that one in seven students is regularly unable to afford food and other essentials, with Indigenous students and regional students experiencing the greatest hardship. An Indigenous student reported that financial strain while completing their studies was so extreme that they “don’t eat much anymore”.

 
Women and the Culture of Philosophy

A report commissioned in 2008 by the Committee of Senior Academics Addressing the Status of Women in the Philosophy Profession examines an often neglected problem: the underrepresentation of women in philosophy.

 
SHOCKING: Lecture Attendance Low

A Lecture Attendance Report conducted in 2017 has revealed that a large proportion of undergraduate Arts (69 per cent) and Science (63 per cent) students are not attending their lectures.

 
UMSU Elections Results Roundup

Results for the 2018 University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) election have now been finalised after a tense period of vote recounts and appeals. The results, most of which are similar to 2017 with Stand Up! sweeping the office bearer (OB) positions, are the closest in recent years with many being determined by fewer than 50 votes.

 
Edition Eight Editorial

This is a humblebrag, but we’re really proud of ourselves and every single contributor to Farrago, Radio Fodder, Farrago Video and Above Water this year.

 
Who’s Credit is it Anyway?

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to transfer into a course at UniMelb? Are you not getting much fun out of accounting or Habermas? Well, you’re in luck, because you can transfer either as a University of Melbourne student or from a rival university.

 
University of Melbourne Abandoning Forestry at Creswick

The University of Melbourne has proposed drastic changes to the School of Forestry in Creswick, which would see a majority of classes relocated from the historic campus to Parkville. The move follows declining enrolments in recent years, and forestry courses being shut down nationwide.

 
Review: Venom

Don’t get me wrong, he still kills and maims in glorious fashion, it’s just that in his downtime, you’ll see him providing a running commentary on Eddie’s love life and loser status. Another impression of the symbiote you’ll likely have by the end of the film? Venom embodies that one bro who goads you into doing stupid shit. All of this amounts to a portrayal of the symbiote that I was pleasantly surprised by. He’s an enjoyable character to watch in his own right and his likabilit

 
Next Wave

As part of the New Student Precinct Project, artist development platform Next Wave has been curating public art and programs at the Parkville campus. Through a series of installations, participatory programming and mentorship opportunities, the project seeks to amplify marginal voices, disrupt historical narratives and open the University’s pedagogy. Embracing disruption, as well as the […]

 
Interview: Ethan Cavanagh

All of us know a class clown, with their witty comebacks and laughable one-liners at the ready, but Ethan Cavanagh took it to the next level when he took out the Melbourne Comedy Festival’s Class Clowns state finals and came runner-up in nationals in 2015.

 
Group Work For People Who Hate Group Work

Am I the only one who avoids group work like it’s the plague? I’m not kidding, I actually check the assignment list for all prospective subjects and if group work is included, well, that’s a deal breaker. In fact, I don’t even think ‘deal breaker’ is a strong enough term. To me, group work is […]

 
Interview: Ben Lawrence

“I don’t like hotels. They’re a bit lifeless aren’t they?” I follow Ben to the elevator. In the elevator. Ben’s curious about my recording device. I hand it over to him.

 
3 Weird Chords Guaranteed To Get Your Band Triple J Airplay

There’s a Melbourne band with a killer sound—maybe something halfway between Wavves and Skegss—and it just isn’t getting its music “out there”. Sound familiar?

 
Review: Baby Bi Bi Bi

I remember exiting the theatre and not being able to stop smiling. As we were making our way to the tram stop, I couldn’t help shaking Dani’s arm and repeatedly (annoyingly) asking her if she saw what I saw and if she could believe it. Being the kind soul she is, she patiently told me that yes, she was there the entire time and she knew exactly how I felt in that moment and there’s a small bit of shared magic that we both took away that night. So please, if you have the time and money g

 
Review: The Merger

I do have one gripe about this film, one scene that makes me gag. Troy, Neil and Neil’s mum Angie (the brilliant Kate Mulvany) play “Canola Bowls” which consists of them frolicking in a bright yellow canola crop playing a DIY version of ten pin bowling. Angie even has a sprig of canola tucked behind her ear like a frangipani. This would never happen because canola stinks worse than a pig truck going through town and is three-quarters of the reason I rarely leave the confines of the city

 
UMSU Electoral Tribunal Rejects More!’s Appeal

On Friday, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) electoral tribunal rejected More!’s appeal for a re-election for the general secretariat and women’s office. The appeal made allegations against the returning officers over defective conduct of the election.

 
Review: Murder Village at Arts House

The answer, of course, is no. The lightness of the material, the talent on stage, and the apparent joy throughout make this show thoroughly enjoyable. It makes you want more than an hour. And when it’s over, and you feel only ten minutes older, you’ll think that’s the worst thing of all.

 
Review: “The dust moats float.”—Luke Beesley’s Aqua Spinach

Maybe it’s me, not him. Maybe I didn’t give these poems the attention they deserved. Certainly, there were enough great moments to know that Beesley is a skillful and original writer, one who I’ll be returning to. Maybe a closer, more perceptive reader would find more in these poems, and the strange corners which Beesley contorts himself into are impressive in-themselves. If you want to feel like you’re driving through heavy fog and a coral reef at the same time, then I recommend Aqua

 
The Welfare State Is Homophobic

Queers are outraged about the proposed regulation of poppers—and the restriction of its recreational use. And rightly so. The arguments against these regulations are convincing—it’s your body and your choice to ingest whatever substance you like. But every new prohibition on social behaviours comes from somewhere and we should ask what made regulating poppers possible in the first place, to properly critique these immoral policies.

 
ANALYSIS: Why UMSU Might Have Another Election

This year’s UMSU elections were hotly contested but nothing was closer than the races for the general secretariat and the welfare office. With fewer than a dozen votes separating each ballot (amongst thousands of total votes), this election was certifiably, undeniably, toight. The returning officers of Above Quota Elections have declared the welfare office has been won by More! and the general secretariat by Stand Up!. But Elinor Mills, the candidate More! endorsed for general secretary, h

 
Melbourne First, Jakarta Last

Shamira Natanagara interviews Stephanus Budiman about leaving the homophobic hometown behind Art by Winnie Jiao     CONTENT WARNING: MENTAL HEALTH, RELIGIOUS DISCRIMINATION AND HOMOPHOBIA     “Save Indonesian Families from the LGBT Movement”, the poster says. An actual poster for an actual event, arranged by the organisation of Indonesia’s government officials’ wives (Dharma Wanita […]

 
No Pens, No Paper

Demitra Lazarakis on why education matters to her Art by Nicola Dobinson     I remember a moment vividly from when I was around 15 years old. I had spent the afternoon with my grandparents— Grandma Cornelia and Grandpa George, ??a??a´ and papp??´ in Greek. On this particular day, I noticed one of my grandma’s […]

 
Far-Right Figures On Campus

Last Friday, three far-right figures, one of whom was wearing a shirt which read “it’s okay to be white”, came onto the Parkville campus claiming to be interviewing students about the recent Liberal Party leadership spill.

 
The Monster Myth

There’s a monster I’ve heard of
over the years
that appears in the place of corporeal men.

 
celestial bodies

she lies awake
legs spread wide
ready to birth a new star

 
The Mapless Voyage

Through cradle and gravel,
A truth to tell;
Mortal is lost,
Till last bell.

 
I have a crush on e-girls: 2am poetry about Melbourne

Listening to X only after he’s dead
Capitalising on vintage Woolworths’ plastic bags
Remixing washed out lo-fi vinyls from Savers

 
trying to sleep

if a bear shits in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, then does a bear shit in the woods?
whatever the hell

 
Suffering and Drowning

When the memories flood through her skin
like milk – when you pour it into porridge,
Her world melts.

 
A Nihilistic Interpretation of Love

I took aim, and released.
Mushroom clouds snapped apart;
a wafer-thin crunch,
a child treading on dry leaves,
dust gliding aimlessly against light.

 
My fantasy London and Archivism for No-places

At night, the streets—unlike any other city—are empty, but the repurposed Victorian gas-lights remain lit. They project onto the neo-classical architecture, the statues of Oxford circus, the garrets made of red brick, exaggerated angles/boundaries of shadow like the cabinet of Dr Caligari, or the fingers in F.W. Murnau’s Nosferatu, edging around the columns and overly decorated facades like vines.

 
Dusk

The light stains the tops of buildings
gold fish orange

 
Baillieu 24-Hour Study Zone

notebook coffee fingers flicker
ballpoint scribble absent liquor
comrades vanish doonas beckon

 
amnesis

a crown a card and the gift of the gab
get you scarce anywhere since days grow short

 
You didn’t answer my question though and Kick Ons

You didn’t answer my question though     For my sins I live in Melbourne Where love is For all but Only A suggestion. Will These Failures   grow Meaning through repetition   ?   I keep seeing your face-painted concern, when I Spill my drink almost falling between your   Mismatched chairs.     […]

 
Part Seven: “These be the stops that hinder study quite”

On the cover was a quotation from a play he’ll one day write. To be or not to be. It sounded good, so good he ingrained it in his mind and noted to one day use it at a later time. But then he wondered, if he saw it first on paper and didn’t form it in his mind, then who originally wrote it? He wondered if anyone wrote it or if it was crafted by the Gods on scrolls of parchment and thrown into the world of mortal coils. He didn’t want to read his plays anymore. He wanted to be proud of h

 
Review: Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot

“I just realised I didn’t want to go to parties or play tennis anymore.” We begin Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot as a middle aged, upper class woman matter of factly tells her story of a mid life crisis, Valium prescription and alcoholism to an AA meeting in a room of bobbing heads.

 
Stand Up Retains UMSU Presidency

Stand Up!’s Molly Willmott has been declared the 2018–19 UMSU president.

 
Review: You Were Never Really Here

Ramsay never grants us a fuller picture of Joe’s past, and we are left with no idea of his future. After the plot unfolds, we abandon the characters at this uncertain juncture, oblivious to the fallout. There is no resolution, no closure, no justice. Like Nina and Joe, we are left dazed and bewildered, unsure of what is to come. You Were Never Really Here is no ordinary genre film, and Ramsay doesn’t offer any gratifying release to the tension the film builds. She allows the film to con

 
Review: Something To Be Tiptoed Around

‘Something To Be Tiptoed Around’ is a new release from the Grattan Street Press as part of their Shorts Series, which showcases writing that does not fit into conventional publication formats. Having read this book three times in as many days, I would like to recommend that you buy it from a store or borrow it from me, and read it as quickly as possible and then read it again but slowly, carefully, quietly listening.

 
SSAF Grants: Explained

Did you know that you could receive up to $250,000 for a project that would benefit students at the University of Melbourne?

 
Survey Shows High Rates of Sexual Abuse in Academia

Academics and PhD students experience a high level of sexual harassment and gender discrimination in Australian universities, according to a recent survey conducted by Australian Women’s History Network.

 
University Introduces Humanitarian Scholarship

This year, the University launched a new scholarship called the Melbourne Humanitarian Access Scholarship. This was created specifically for students who have applied for asylum in Australia.

 
Six Ways of Looking at the Mirror

Is beauty the same as love? You used to know this answer, but now you’re not sure. You used to know ugliness meant fragmentation, splintering, isolation; you thought beauty was their absence. You’re finding it harder and harder to find that difference. When you knew beauty, poetry came easily to you. When you’ve forgotten it, when you think poetry has an obligation to be more beautiful than silence, you can’t write at all.

 
UMSU Presidential Debate: A Recap

With student election week almost upon us, three UMSU presidential candidates went head-to-head in a debate hosted by Farrago on 29 August.

 
Review: Searching

Searching is an incredibly smart movie. It trusts its audience, and offers up a satisfying ending. It’s a thriller, but it’s a mystery too—the screens and windows that flash by offer every clue that David needs. And because it takes place within screens, every clue that we need as well, so that everything falls into place smoothly. It definitely doesn’t hold back, and best of all, it is #StarringJohnCho. 

 
Hello My Name Is…

Shakespeare once said, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.” Although, he was probably referring to white names because we all know that Rose rolls off the tongue a lot easier than Mishti does.

 
UMSU Elections: Explained

Your vote is rather influential in how the Union represents you in the following year.

 
Review: The Antipodes

If you’re looking for a predictable play with a clear and rosy take away, The Antipodes might not be for you. However, if you’re in the mood for a fantastical, dream-like, and at times, deeply unsettling excerpt from playwright Annie Baker’s imagination, you’re unlikely to be disappointed.

 
Review: McQueen

You don’t need to know a thing about fashion to comprehend McQueen’s level of genius and artistry. The film itself is beautiful, with dark CGI interludes and a classical music score that McQueen himself would certainly have loved. Just as McQueen wanted people to walk away from his shows feeling something, viewers will walk away from McQueen feeling both adoration and grief.

 
Campus News Briefing: Cadmus, Tastings, Safety

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Flash Fiction Six: Puzzles, Riddles and Limericks

PLAYFUL PUNS AND ONE BIG CROSSWORD THAT FITS IN 100 WORDS AND UNDER

 
Below the Belt

You haven’t slept in two days because you can’t be bothered going to bed. Walking home at 8am you see things you haven’t seen in a long time: people out for breakfast, old Greek women shuffling to church, parents walking their kids to school, a man in a kebab shop slowly readying a fresh tube of meat. It’s all happening.

 
Canterbury Road

Each day I am the gentle road’s uninvited guest.
I give the dirt off the bottom of my shoes in thanks,
And my host lends me its spine to walk.

 
I am now here

I am nowhere tiny twitching suns
fill
the air

 
The Night Train: Recipe for Sleeping in Motion

Thoroughly stir ingredients in a bowl of spare time at the station,
Saving the addition of reactive liquids until after departure.

 
Wall-labels for the Dark Imaginings exhibit, Melbourne University

Press Release: “In 18th century Europe a revolutionary shift in literary and artistic expression took place that became known as ‘the Gothic’. Nightmarish images of barbarity, oppression and the supernatural were abstracted from an earlier medieval (or ‘Gothic’) age and fused with a Romantic focus on imagination and emotion, resulting in works of frightening and […]

 
Part Six: “The crown will find an heir”

As Shakespeare scurried out from the Baillieu, a deluge of unpleasantness swarmed against him in the form of many knaves carrying flyers, all in colourful dress. He was in a melancholic mood and found their pressing behaviour worsened his state. He learnt a new expression from Chloe that day that he found quite effective. He told them to fuck the fuck off.

 
For & Against: Lockout Lockheed

  IMAGE by David Zeleznikow-Johnston FOR by Lockout Lockheed Students at the University of Melbourne ought to be informed about a lot of things. First, that their university is making secretive deals with transnational arms manufacturers like Lockheed Martin and BAE. Second, that these partnerships incentivise war by institutionalising and normalising the presence of weapons […]

 
Review: Mental As Everything & Scarred For Life—Double Bill

Ultimately, audiences will come away with a better understanding of mental illnesses and what it means to live with them. Sitting in the dark, watching these shows, was an unmistakable sense of connection amongst the audience: alternating between moments of sympathy and of recognition. You either come away from these shows knowing more about mental health, or you leave thinking “Oh, so it’s not just me who feels like this”.

 
Review: West of Sunshine

“It’s a film about Melbourne’s west, you should come with me,” I’d said to Tilly. It was a highly reductive summary, leaving out every single plot element, but it worked—the westside born-and-raised Morley sisters will go see anything that acknowledges our beloved western suburbs.

 
Candidates for UMSU Elections Announced

The presidential candidates from major factions, More! and Stand Up!, are Callum Simpson and Molly Willmott, respectively.

 
University of Melbourne Students Go To The Games

The University of Melbourne is well known for its academic credentials, but fewer people are aware of the athletic prowess it boasts. Earlier this year, University of Melbourne students and alumni won one gold, two silver and one bronze at the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games.

 
New VCA Campus Coordinator

Since early July, Lily Ekins has worked as the new University of Melbourne Student Union VCA campus coordinator. Farrago talked to her about her plans for the new semester, as well as updates on the Southbank campus after the restructure of the Faculty of Fine Arts and Music.

 
Tastings

Tastings, the biennial showcase of original works by University of Melbourne students, will be held 22–25 August in the Guild Theatre. With over a decade of history, Tastings is developed and run by the University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) creative arts department.

 
University Square Being Redeveloped

University Square, the prominent garden and thoroughfare, located between Grattan Street and the Law School, is currently in the process of being redeveloped in an association between the University, the City of Melbourne, and the Victorian Government.

 
Flystrike

By the end of it, Mary didn’t feel any love toward the sheep. She didn’t want to hold their slimy bodies, cold and wet, abandoned by their mothers. Most didn’t even know how to suckle properly. She had given up trying to help lost lambs.

 
With GMOs, We Reap What We Sow

Roughly 9,000 years ago, somewhere around the Tehuacan Valley of present-day Mexico, a common local wildgrass began an extraordinary transformation. It probably started by accident: local foragers favouring those plants with larger, looser seeds, and inadvertently spreading them through their waste. But it wasn’t long before humans made art out of chance and began deliberately selecting the best grasses to sow—and unwittingly became the world’s first genetic engineers.

 
Future Cities

In 2008, humans became a majority urban species for the first time. Today, up to 54 per cent of people live in cities, and that number is only set to rise. Climate change will impact the cities and towns we live in—many urban areas will have to change significantly, and rapidly, in order to withstand the pressures of increasing dangerous weather events, heat waves, and other climatic dangers.

 
Bad News

CONTENT WARNING: EUGENICS, HOMOPHOBIA, TERRORISM The world didn’t end in 2012, but sometimes it feels like we would be better-off if it had. Two-thirds of the Great Barrier Reef are bleached due to climate change—and the Adani coalmine may soon be its neighbour. The president of the world’s most powerful country has sexually assaulted numerous […]

 
Elegeia

Daniel Beratis on making a home

 
We Talk With Brothers’ Nest Screenwriter Jaime Browne

Jaime Browne is a prolific Australian screenwriter whose credits include The Mule, the Emmy-nominated Please Like Me, telemovie The King, as well as ABC’s Devils Dust, Laid, The Straits, and Squinters.

His latest project is Brothers’ Nest, “the sleeper hit of the 2018 SXSW festival”, which is currently showing in Australian cinemas. I gave Jaime a shoutout in my review a month ago and this week I got to speak with him about making the film, working as a screenwriter, and divers

 
Review: Whitney

Whitney is a biopic of the life and music of Whitney Houston, one of the best-selling singers of all time who sold 200 million records and is the only artist to have ever charted seven consecutive number-one singles on the Billboard Hot 100.

 
A Day in the Life of a Deaf Student

I wake up to something vibrating in my bra. There’s a moment of groggy incomprehension before I remember what it is. Pulling the still-buzzing phone out, I glance at the time: 7:00am. At least I managed to sleep through the noise of the garbage trucks, one of the silver linings of being deaf! I switch the phone off and get out of bed. It’s not the most traditional of alarm clocks, I know.

 
For & Against: Straight White Men

  IMAGE by David Zeleznikow-Johnston FOR by Trent Vu Straight white men are good for things other than news scandals and bro hugs. From a biological standpoint, a lot of you were conceived with straight white sperm, but us gays in particular have a lot of other things to thank straight white men for. Cut […]

 
A Day, A Cherry

One cherry went in the box. I picked up another from the crate, and put it in the box. These ones were mostly plump and round, deep red and juicy. A good premium bunch.

 
The Earth Is On Fire—But We Have Bigger Problems

If you’ve caught the last ten minutes of the news any time in the past six weeks, you may have noticed that Hawai’i is on fire. The culprit is Kilauea, one of the tropical island’s five volcanoes: a diminutive creature huddled on the east flank of the mighty Mauna Loa, and a remorseless slayer of volcanologists.

 
Why The Planet Needs You To Get Rowdy

Katie Doherty on our political obligation to be rude

 
The Germans Called It Auschwitz

There is a village in Poland with a blue steepled church. It has a cobbled square surrounded by pastel buildings, with wrought iron lamp posts. There is a small cafe´ patronised solely by old men with greying moustaches and suspicious demeanours, and the busiest place is the Lidl just outside of the town centre. In the dead of winter, late January, it’s about zero degrees celsius on average. It’s so quiet it can’t be described as sleepy; more like comatose. They call it Os´wie?cim, bu

 
Fair Enough? The Desire for Lighter Skin

For more than 40 years, Curry Corner, a tiny store in Melbourne’s CBD that specialises in Indian imports, has been selling spices and lentils. But what catches the eye almost instantly is the large collection of skin-whitening products in the front right corner of the shop. From a skin bleaching cream for “instant golden glow” by Fem to a whitening cream called “Fair & Lovely”, there is a chemical formula available for every part of the body. Yes, even the privates.

 
To Be Real

Bhenji Ra stands on stage in a bright red bikini, with gold-sequined flames stretching around her hips and across her chest. A pair of red boots lace up to her knees, as she flicks a red fan in front of her face. She has been dancing—dipping and spinning along the runway—but now is still.

 
Fodder Feature: A Few of My Favourite Things

I first met Jen Balcomb doing German in first year. German 5 was a bit of a train wreck, but what I loved most about the class was that I made so many friends out of it. We were all like newly born deer stumbling around UniMelb, struggling to find our feet after we bust out from the placenta that is high school. Our cohort quickly bonded over not knowing what the hell was going on. There’s something about late classes, old German literature and a very scary tutor that really fosters new fri

 
Making the Cut

You first notice the smell halfway up the third flight of stairs in the Medical Building.

 
Puzzle Solution

You did it. This was the whole puzzle. Congratulations. There’s no prize.

 
Rally Against Sexual Violence In Pictures

On 1 August, students rallied at the University of Melbourne against sexual violence for the first anniversary of the nation-wide survey into sexual assault and sexual harassment at Australian Universities.

 
Campus News Briefing: 1 August, Boycotts, Creswick

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Review: C’est La Vie

If you’re looking for originality, you won’t find much of it in C’est La Vie where pretty much every character is a silly caricature. But although it relies heavily on tropes, it does so with charm and humour.

 
Finding Love on Campus

Alex Epstein can’t find love—so he decided to find out, with scientific rigour, the best spots on campus to fall in love with a stranger.

 
Motion of No Confidence In NUS LGBTI Officer Passes At National Queer Conference

There is pressure on Jasmine Duff, one of the two queer/LGBTI officers at the National Union of Students (NUS), to resign, after a motion of no confidence in her was passed at the Queer Collaborations conference last month.

 
Shakespeare Writes Comedy

Shakespeare remained and watched the show with bemusement. At one point, a strange-looking lad with a square jaw spoke of a foreign man called “Voldemort” doing a foreign thing called “wanking”, to which the audience around descended into deep cachinnations. Our bard sat, frowning and confused, not understanding the source of the humour.

 
Flash Fiction Five: Ecological Apocalypse

He felt them inside his hands and legs, inside his chest, even inside his face. He saw them too, sometimes. Nobody else did. Only him. The miniscule worm-like parasites which had taken his body as their new home. He would never have noticed them had it not been for the unbearable itching. They slipped out of his skin to peak into the atmosphere, he felt them crawling on his skin. It would start itching. Nobody would believe him, even when he grabbed one of them and pulled it out (and caused a

 
Jebel

A whisper of a life on a different sea.
Sunken are the relics of who I’m supposed to be.
Displaced wounds and fragmented scrawl.
I grew up too fast and not at all.

 
A Lifelong Commitment to Self-Efficacy

My blood came out orange
and I wasn’t scared and it didn’t hurt
so why was the teacher on yard duty telling me it was all going
to be
okay?

 
A Diary of Everyday Magic

On my scribbled to-do list is the task: “reacquaint myself with magic.” Then an arrow coils past “catch up on W9 lecture” and “finish Part C stats” and connects to “in the world, myself, etc.”

 
banksia embrace

But I could do it, you know?
Take the banksia in my hands and
vase it, for the chance
of sucking honey from the world
as we bow to one another.

 
I am Brown Before I am Human

I am brown before I am human. This is something I’ve learnt to live with staying in Melbourne. It isn’t something I’m okay with. It shouldn’t be, but it is how I adapted to a society that often sees me as an alien.

 
what a magnificent view

Taking his place,
I sat the first time, eager, in pain,
numerous nurses cautioning me against
curiosity, but all I saw out the window
was a block of red bricks, a wall.

 
Albany

The hand behind is slightly cocked, palm face up, the fingers outstretched, the entire arm straight down, the profile of the body thereby having a more dramatic lilt, as six eyes regard him as he passes through the lobby. Viewed from the side, he looks unnatural—viewed from behind, he is the scenery. The hand in front holds another—a second. He walks forward slightly slower than what is realistic. He does not squeeze the second hand, as he is led, through the lobby, past the lobby, down a

 
water in my lungs

i wrote my name in the shores of your palms, over and over
each time the ocean washed it out, a message
she would soon turn into a lesson.

 
The Cost of Pearls

Bright yellow in the sky as frail, trembling rays of light filtered down to where it met the ocean. The churning waves crashed against each other in sloppy undulations. An eternity of movement swirling on the surface of a calm ocean. Thick and cold, the depths seemed still, motionless in comparison to the surge of movement on the surface.

 
Noceurn

At one point your landlord, if that’s what they’re called here, asked where you were from and you had to say that you honestly could not remember but it must not have been good because otherwise you wouldn’t have had such a strong desire to leave.

 
pyrrhus retention mechanism

breath caught
and bottle sated
associated resting rates. in time
find purchase in separate anxieties

 
No Sick Penguins at St Kilda Pier

“It’s a water rat,” I say to Hannah, but she probably already knows that. The rat pulls itself up onto the boardwalk and rests its little hands on the hunk of bread. Its stomach bulges. Hugo takes a nibble and then drags the bread down into the rocks. The white tip of his tail flashes.

 
Sonnet XIV – Fleur

Night skies above me twinkling in splendour,
Trillions of photons that offered me life.
I yearned to be a star in the tender
Vault, no longer rooted in mortal strife.

 
LSAT, GAMSAT, UMAT: Are They All That?

LSAT, GAMSAT and UMAT—you’ve probably heard them thrown around in worried sighs by future lawyers and doctors stressing over the tests that will decide their fate. But what are these tests actually measuring, and is their cost justified?

 
Hildegard

They say your dreams were actually migraines,
that those luminous sighs cascading before your eyes
in burning heavenly rains were in fact
a derangement of pain and shivering neurons.

 
Jeremiah in a Church in Thornbury

The darkness webs from
shattered homes in silence,
and spreads through the petrol-stations
and the pizza shops on Saint Georges Road.

 
#1234 Looking For Love

With over 11,000 likes as of July 2018, UniMelb Love Letters has managed to capture the market of bored university students hoping to live vicariously through their peers.

 
Still in Transition for UMSU International, Five Years Later

On 1 August, the new University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) International committee will officially begin their term. With Jonas Larsen heading the team as president, they already have ideas for improving the organisation.

 
Changing Course: University Mandatory Consent Module Underperforms

The University of Melbourne introduced Consent Matters, an online sexual consent tutorial mandatory for all incoming undergraduate students, at the start of 2018.

 
#NotMyPresident Posters On Campus Protest China

Posters protesting against Chinese President Xi Jinping’s recent abolition of the term limit were found around campus at the University of Melbourne.

 
Edition Five Editorial

You may be wondering why there’s a photo of us naked covered in copies of everyone’s favourite News Corp newspaper, The Australian.

 
Who is that girl I see?

Watching Mulan is like finding Pringles in your pantry and then realising they are the budget kind. Underwhelming, but hey, I’ll take budget Pringles over no Pringles any day! Bad analogies aside, it’s a film that most would view as a revolutionary portrayal of Asian women, and for the most part, it is. There’s plenty […]

 
Review: Flood Damages by Eunice Andrada

Ultimately, as an award-winning poet and lyricist with experience performing her work on the internationally stage, Andrada is no stranger to dissecting and distributing the personal to the audience. Although the book will likely be more poignant for anyone who has gone through similar experiences to Andrada, I would almost encourage you to read the book even more if you have nothing in common with her. Flood Damages is a perfect opportunity to see the world through a different pair of eyes,

 
Alien in Our Body: Justin Shoulder’s Carrion
Carrion by Justin Shoulder –Justin Shoulder – Image by Bryony Jackson

Encountering Justin Shoulder’s Carrion—the shape-shifting “cybernetic demigod” with limbs made of decaying bones and hair made of Apple headphones—is deeply arresting.

 
Review: Chronic

The world is, at times, a terrifying place. Millennials are changing their names to WTC7. Seemingly middle-aged women are drinking coffees with 17 sugars at local cafés. People are ordering chicken parmigianas with extra cheese.

 
Review: MUSC’s Plastic Shakespeare

For years, the Melbourne University Shakespeare Company (MUSC) has churned out quasi-experimental theatre as if by obligation to form.

 
Review: Search for the Sublime

We huddle in heavy coats, scarves and hats under the clear night sky. Everyone clutches $8 wine in plastic cups as they listen to very good writing being read by Sam Flynn and very good electronic music performed by the Melbourne duo OK EG. The crowd is quiet, faces illuminated dimly, hands tucked into pockets […]

 
A Christmas Prince Commentary: Why Did Netflix Make This Film?

I don’t know how to use the Xbox. It shouldn’t be such monumental issue in my life. I should just learn. In December, not knowing changed my life.

 
The Best Announcements of E3 2018

This year, we were lucky enough to attend the world’s biggest gaming expo, E3, in Los Angeles. After several days of roaming the show floor and attending press conferences, we’ve summed up our favourite new announcements and demos on display at E3.

 
Review: Sun Ra Arkestra @ The Night Cat

On first arrival the room felt vacuous, the venue spacious and the stage empty. The instruments sat visible and still, yet to be awoken.

 
Review: LONE

I came to this production full of anticipation and curiosity, intrigued by the proposition of a work created by The Rabble and eleven young artists between the ages of 8 and 11.

 
VCA Performance Accused of “Reverse Racism”

“Many people have found it confronting—in good and bad ways. Some have disengaged or even walked out. My response to those people is that I think they need to ask themselves why they couldn’t listen to the reality of this nation’s present and historical burdens.”

 
SFF Exclusive Review: Marta Prus’ Over the Limit

After devoting so much screen time to the training, we don’t even see the final performance that won the gold. Because this is not a film about victory. This is a film about being crushed. This is a film about the ever-deadening passion of an all-time great rhythmic gymnast.

 
Review: Fury at the Red Stitch Actors’ Theatre

Within the intimately small theatre, one feels enveloped by Fury’s storm. The play digs into the fracture lines across society’s conscience—immigration, privilege and racism. The characters collide, ideologically and even physically at times, fraying the audience’s nerves. Yet when the curtain falls, one is left with not only a quickly-beating heart, but also, with a new perspective.

 
SFF Exclusive Interview: Sari Braithwaite

Well, Australia had some of the most repressive censorship in the world and that’s not necessarily something we like to think about ourselves as a country and our history. But we did. It’s a really strong part of how we viewed films in this country. And it was only due to the acts of a small number of people that it shifted.

 
Review: Foxtrot

A common Jewish saying is to wish someone life until 120. So, when people fall short of this metric it can be quite disappointing.

 
Review: Terri Lyne Carrington and Social Science @ The Jazzlab

Terri Lyne Carrington and Social Science gave a mesmerising performance in this year’s International Jazz Festival. Lead by Terri Lyne, a Grammy award winning drummer, the modern and original take on jazz featuring themes from neo-soul, acid jazz, hip-hop, indie rock and soul was cleverly used as a vessel for a satiric social commentary project highlighting matters of sexism, racism, freedom.

 
Review: The Public Opinion Afro Orchestra @ Darebin Arts & Entertainment Centre

The Public Opinion Afro Orchestra is an Australian group that made their debut at the Melbourne International Jazz Festival, and was brought together by Zvi Belling and Ethan Hill (DJ Manchild) who created this project to explore their passion for the Afro-beat music of Nigeria with a contemporary outlook, and the result is an incredibly energetic and vibrant group of musicians.

 
Review: Puffs the Play

There have been some Harry Potter parodies and spinoffs that have become so famous they’ve almost become compulsory viewing for HP fans–the Potter Puppet Pals and A Very Potter Musical series are a couple that come to mind. But Puffs is the first to tell the story of, well, the Puffs, who just happened to be there when that boy with the lightning scar decided to turn up and bring trouble with him.

 
Coverage of the Melbourne International Jazz Festival

Welcome to our coverage of the 2018 Melbourne International Jazz Festival! The annual jazz festival took place from 1 to 10 June this year.   Terri Lyne Carrington and Social Science @ The Jazzlab on 3 June, 9pm reviewed by Stella Dunai KNOWER @ 170 Russell on 5 June, 8pm reviewed by Matilda Pungitore The […]

 
Sirens

The rocking chair swayed back and forth like water against the hull of a ship. Through the window, she could see that the night was still. In the valley below, the soft glow of the town stretched all the way to the shore.

 
Review: KNOWER @ 170 Russell

KNOWER is a duo from LA made up of drummer and producer Louis Cole and vocalist Genevieve Artadi.

 
Letter to the Editor: Hamas and the Israel–Palestine Conflict

Lately there have been lots of articles related to the Israeli occupation of Palestine, and in many of them Hamas is painted in a rather unflattering light. These articles often inaccurately label Hamas as a militant group bent on the destruction of Israel, then try to use this as justification for Israel’s violence.

 
Campus News Briefing: Stupol, Shaw Davey and a Data Breach

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Middle-Aged Professor Cheekily References Month-Old Internet Trend

In an act of cheekiness, a middle-aged professor has used her last PowerPoint slide of the semester to reference a month-old internet trend. The professor, Angela Withers, who teaches health policy at the University of Melbourne, finished up her final lecture of the semester with a PowerPoint slide that contained nothing but the University of […]

 
Shaw Davey Slum Shafts Students

Since 2014, The Shaw Davey Slum has offered several deals aimed specifically at students: $5 pizzas, $1 pots and $12 for a chicken parmigiana with chips being among the most scandalising. These specials attained an almost folklorist quality among students. However, January 2018 saw the promise of $5 pizza suddenly and discretely erased from the menu.

 
Tribunal Rejects Appeal of GSA Election Results

The Graduate Student Association (GSA) electoral tribunal has rejected an appeal from candidates of Better GSA about the recent elections, which made allegations against GSA staff, the returning officer and members of rival ticket Renew GSA.

 
For & Against: The Gig Economy

  IMAGE by David Zeleznikow-Johnston FOR by Andie Moore The gig economy has become the new pin~ata of regulators and unionists alike. I am not going to pretend it works for everyone or for every profession. However, it is indisputable that gig work suits some people, particularly those least likely to get work. Here is […]

 
Interview: Lea DeLaria

Because one, you’re gonna see me. Two, I’m single right now so looking for girls—hey ladies, make a scene. And three, because I don’t think anybody does exactly what I do. It’s a very entertaining, interesting, fun, crazy, wild evening. I don’t think anybody does quite what I do. Buckle up your seat belts. It’s not for the faint at heart. And I will be doing Lea DeLaria screwdrivers, so you may be wanting those too.

 
Cheese

Ever heard of cheese nightmares? Nup? Well, count yourself lucky.

 
The Do’s and Don’ts of Ball-Tampering

Rohan Byrne looks at the physics behind the tactic

 
An Open Letter

Veera Ramayah addresses white allies

 
Fodder Feature: Moon Tunes

Some of you will know me as a co-host of Snappy Hour on Radio Fodder. But semester two last year saw me try my hand at producing another show.

 
Adventures In Student Cooking: Prepared for the Apocalypse

The Chef — Really can’t cook, but tries hard — Would have already died in apocalyptic scenario — Good at picking My Kitchen Rules winners — Irrationally dislikes onion The Setup — One small fridge with freezer compartment — Three gas stove burners (one is broken) — One microwave that burns the outside of frozen meals while failing to defrost the center Sometimes, […]

 
Review: Tully
Tully

Jason Reitman’s new film Tully is an extraordinary and sensitive portrayal of the difficulties of motherhood in the modern age.

 
Lady Powers Of Groovin The Moo

Vera Blue closed her set with her powerful track, ‘Lady Powers’, and I couldn’t think of a more fitting song.

 
Night of the Beast

Have you heard about the Night of the Beast? It’s the day those creatures we cared for, creatures we treasure, and the creatures we hunted come back to our world. Clothed in the skin of the underworld, fit for a hot summer evening, they march down the streets, their legs returning them to homes where the memories of them subsist.

 
Flash Fiction Four: Fantasy and Fables

Long ago, Snow White’s ancestors invaded a beautiful, sunny land. There she lived in the Queen’s care. The Queen asked her magic mirror, “Who is the fairest in the land?”

It replied, “If you mean fair as in pale, it’s Snow White. But don’t hold yourself to the beauty standards of your oppressors. Love yourself.”

 
HELLO HAIKU & UNICODE

skin eXXXposed
while the sun
is sweating

 
Changeling

He was wearing a coat of leaves, the body and genitals covered in poultice. I’ve always known when mirrors lie. His face, though, was my dad’s fly lure, tremoring over a lake body, my gums reddening when I brushed too deliberately, the desire to chew with my mouth open, the wasps I’d seen fumigated by mum in our roof, their nest like a football. I gazed hungrily as he pointed to a mound of earth on my left—his right—nails bark-splintered.

 
Bruise

The first time I came out of myself it was not how they had described.
A hum under the surface, weighted and distant.

 
Sunshine

Holding doors open for
people, hoping they’ll open too
and embrace her,
Talk to her, thank her.

 
A Kiss

I haven’t been kissed in so long.
When everyone is tucked
between bedsheets stuffed with
love and honeycomb (because

 
Classic

A car alarm breaks the stillness.
You roll onto your side and mutter something empty,
the breeze carries flutes from Bacchic hills
through the sometimes portal of your curtains,
five bells toll in some distant church
and the future, my love, can wait another day.

 
My Old Fire

I changed my lipstick three times
ironed my shirt
borrowed my mum’s shoes.

 
At the Back of Rowden White

A spacious, well-lit, and illuminated afternoon that
carries one forward through morose times
of dreary, unanswered dreams.

 
Campus News Briefing: NUS, Doctor’s Certificates And The Melbourne Model

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Part Four: “Once more I’ll read the ode that I have writ”

Shakespeare looked at his laptop. He shifted uncomfortably and read once more the task he had to end: to write 15 lines of poetry for his creative writing subject. He hadn’t written much; he was sort of gazing at the wall and remarking how pale and white it was. He looked back at his screen to read what he’d writ. From. An excellent word for an hour of work.

 
Commitment Isn’t Convenient

In today’s capitalist society, the dollar is the most influential tool at one’s disposal, and the University would rather use it to benefit financially from climate change than contribute to proper efforts to mitigate it.

 
Review: WILD at the MTC

“We know everything about you,” declares Miss Prism, at one particularly jarring moment. The comment is directed at Andrew, but it is intimately felt by an audience for which such sentiments are frighteningly poignant in our current context. Wild is a thought-provoking reflection on the state of our times, and our departure from the American idealism of Snowden’s actions, a mere five years ago. A gripping, contemporary depiction of privacy and surveillance in the 21st century, MTC’s W

 
UMSU Issues Recommendations to UniMelb Respect Taskforce

The University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) women’s department has issued 12 recommendations addressing the prevention of sexual assault and sexual harassment on campus.

 
Edition Four Editorial

We’re meant to go to print tomorrow we are I mean going together in the fun near-future tense it’s a week later today.

 
Melbourne Model 2.0

Double degrees and a new Bachelor of Health may be on offer to University of Melbourne students as soon as 2019 as part of the second phase of the Melbourne Model.

 
Fake Doctors’ Certificates

Several students have recently been expelled due to the provision of fake doctors’ certificates, according to the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) advocacy and legal department.

 
UniMelb Below Average in Student Experience, Survey Finds

The University of Melbourne has ranked below average in a student experience survey of Australian universities, published by Quality Indicators for Learning and Teaching.

 
Review: In Times of Fading Light

In Times of Fading Light, opening this year’s German Film Festival, is an intensely historical picture, capturing a microcosmic vignette of 1989 East Berlin.

 
Review: Hungry Ghosts at the MTC

The play is quite humorous, but overall, very sombre. It is marked by collective confusion and absurdism, and a general feeling of helplessness. I wouldn’t necessarily pick the play for the storyline, nor would I pick it for casual viewing. But it’s a fascinating work of deconstruction and left plenty of food for thought.

 
Striking UniMelb Staff Join Union Rally of Up to 100,000

Today at 9am, University of Melbourne striking staff members joined other unionists and workers for the ‘Change the Rules’ rally in the Melbourne CBD, which turned out up to 100,000 people.

 
Review: Taken’s Gory Sci-fi Cousin—Upgrade

Upgrade is a great time if you’re down for a confronting and exciting experience. I highly recommend it to folks who enjoy sci-fi and gory action, and don’t need a rock solid plot to have a good time. Squeamish viewers should skip this one for sure.

 
Campus News Briefing: NTEU, Elections and Goodbye

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Classes on Hold as Staff Protest Tomorrow

This Wednesday, some classes will not run at the University as staff plans to abandon work to protest the University regarding its stance on workplace agreements.

 
Locked Out of a Lock-Up

The second consecutive year of student media being prohibited from the federal budget media lock-up has brought incredulous disbelief from student journalists and the shadow government, as well as criticism from the mainstream media.

 
A Little Crease of Comfort

I’m strangely comforted by the hardcover casing of Darby Hudson’s WALK.

 
Melbourne Lord Mayoral By-Election Youth Forum Liveblog

Hello and welcome to Farrago’s liveblog of the Melbourne lord mayoral by-election youth forum.

 
Lecturer Reading Off Slides Replaced By Alexa And Nobody Notices

Students enrolled in UNIB10019 Italian Patisserie were dismayed to discover last week that the soothing voice of their professor was in fact Amazon Alexa in disguise. The virtual assistant spent the lecture reading paragraphs directly off the slides in lieu of Professor Hopkins, who was ill that day.

 
Advocacy Groups Respond to Al Jazeera Documentary ‘Australia: Rape on Campus’

University sexual assault advocates have called for government action against sexual violence on international students after the launch of Al Jazeera’s documentary Australia: Rape on Campus last week.

 
Parties for the Socially Disinclined

I’m sure a lot of you are looking forward to the weekend when you can go to a party and let loose, but for some of us, the idea of being surrounded by sweaty, drunk people in a room with poor lighting and too-loud music isn’t exactly the epitome of fun. However, parties are a […]

 
Shakespeare at the Lecture Theatre

The invisible beasts drew a girl on the wall and her beauty shone into our bard’s pubescent eyes. He recognised her: she’d often walk through his village and pass his abode. Anne or Sally or someone. He’d pined over her, that pulchritudinous face. He wondered what she was doing painted up on the wall.

“Now this”, the lecturer began, “is a portrait of Anne Hathaway, who was obviously Shakespeare’s wife.”

 
Student Precinct Construction Disturbs Ancient Horror Long Buried Beneath The Earth

Progress on the University of Melbourne’s new student precinct has hit something of a snag, with construction disturbing a long-dormant subterranean horror underneath the campus.

 
Edition Two Editorial

“Do you think it’s clear that I’m trying to emulate J.K. Rowling’s style?” he said after a while. “Does the pastiche come through?”

 
Edition Three Editorial

The first step to running a magazine is accepting that people aren’t always going to agree with everything you do.

 
Review: Unsane

Hollywood maverick Steven Soderberg’s Unsane is a dizzying, claustrophobic ride, following Sawyer Valentini (Claire Foy) as she becomes admitted to an insane asylum against her will. The movie isn’t particularly about whether she is sane or not, but rather the gradual and unseemly encroachment of her stalker, David Strine (Joshua Leonard). And really, the movie isn’t about the stalker either—it’s about the fact that it was shot entirely on an iPhone.

 
Little Fat Lamb The Sixth Most Dangerous Creature In Australia, Studies Show

The creature has shot to sixth place in Australian Geographic’s annual dangerous australian wildlife rankings, Fuck There’s Some Scary Shit in This Country.

 
Review: Isle of Dogs

Isle of Dogs, like so many of Anderson’s work, leaves you feeling as though you ought to go spend the rest of your day in a bookstore listening to classical music followed by a nice cup of tea. Well at least that’s what I did. I had to keep the perfect illusion alive.

 
Review: Gurrumul

Content warning: this review speaks of Aboriginal people who have passed away

I remember hearing Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu live for the first time like it was yesterday, despite it being around ten years ago. He was busking at a market with a few people stopped in front of him, mesmerised. Later, in 2014, I was extremely lucky to hear him again amongst hundreds of other admirers. He’d only sung one verse of a song before my whole family—my mum, dad, grandma, brother and I—start

 
For & Against: Threesomes
David

  IMAGE by David Zeleznikow-Johnston FOR by Clare Taylor The Three Musketeers. Destiny’s Child. Harry, Ron and Hermione. The Sex and the City girls—minus Carrie, of course, because she’s annoying af. THE HOLY TRINITY. Three is the magic number. 1. Triangles are the strongest shape. It’s physics. Look it up. 2. Threesomes make you try […]

 
The Inheritance of Grief
Asher Karahasan - The Origins of Grief - small

by Tilli Franks

 
The Darker the Berry
Poorniima Colourism

Veera Ramayah on colourism

 
UMSU International Extends Nomination Deadline for Election

UMSU International has extended the deadline for nominations for its annual general election to increase competition after multiple positions were uncontested or under-contested.

 
Review: Becky Lucas—Cute Funny Smart Sexy Beautiful

Becky’s show is like a light-hearted, insightful water-cooler type conversation with the girl that works at your office that shares just a little too much about their sex life.

 
Fe***ism: A Tale of Two Classrooms

Nour Altoukhi on the universality of feminism

 
Alien Asia Aesthetic

Stephanie Zhang dissects techno-orientalism

 
The Razor’s Edge
Archie Barry by Ayonti

Luke Macaronas talks to interdisciplinary artist Archie Barry about queer performance in a binary landscape

 
More Than Mascara
More Than Mascara – Nicola Dobinson

Sophie Raphael looks at To the Bone and Talking to Anorexia

 
Fodder Feature: Brit and Bogan
Adibah Amani Nasarudin - Brit and Bogan

There are some iconic duos that were just meant to go together.

 
Ghosting My Birth Giver
Ghosting_LisaLinton

A’bidah Zaid Shirbeeni ghosts her own mum

 
It’s Not Enough To Be A Non-Fascist
NonFascist_ClaraCruzJose_top

Andie Moore on our obligation to defend society

 
Unsafe Community

Lucy Williams and Nurul Juhria Binte Kamal look at the University training sessions which left some student leaders “shocked and confused”

 
Degree in Prestige—Is It Worth It?

Whether you agree with the results or not, something is clearly not adding up between our high scores on world level rankings, bolstered by research projects, and our abysmal results when it comes to satisfaction with university teaching as determined by authentic student voices.

 
Student Impact Committee Launches

The University is launching the brand new Student Impact Committee to help student volunteers understand philanthropy and its impact on the University of Melbourne community. While this presents an opportunity for deeper student engagement, some students have criticised the lack of financial remuneration.

 
Flash Fiction Three: Creative [Non]Fiction

We kept a jar of my grandmother’s chilli pickle in the freezer while my father flew to Malaysia for her funeral.

 
tooth collection

fertile ground
where trichor flown from bitten tongue lands
springs
emnous remnants a toothsome luxury
cthonia induced by friend nor foe alike;

 
City Girl

Orange painted sunsets and
a depth of grey,
A canvas of molten
silver light
Sigh of smoke spilling
from her lips;
colourless in
the night,

 
My Feminism—More Powerful Than Two Cleopatras

I often find myself at a crossroads

Destined to be forever in the middle until I’ve come to decide which social construct

I wish to identify with

 
summer sadness in st kilda east

when i wake up, dani and melissa scramble into my bed. half shaved legs sprawl over my ikea doona cover. melissa and i scream with delight as dani tells us why she was out until 9am. ‘stop screaming!’ she begs.

 
The Colour of Grey

The contrast was enhanced as the surroundings got progressively darker. I could sense another alien colour, just above the orange, which I had not witnessed till then that day. To him, it was a sky blue. At that point, even the sea began to participate, carrying the sunlight towards us, through the waves.

 
Galileo’s Finger

Now his finger itches
to hatch from its enclosure
of moulting skin, inch up
beyond the down lights
to the paper-thin sky,

 
Renewal

To be jettisoned into space,
disintegrating amongst the silence,
bleached & violated by cosmic tidings,
finally twinkling as stardust within the void.

 
TIRA EL CUELLO HACIA ATRÁS

TIRA EL CUELLO HACIA ATRÁS
y pregúntate qué fue de ella.

 
Regular Abductions

. The streets are threatening. The world is safer all the time. All of life is dangerous to the touch, and every day, fewer men rot away. New government initiatives have reduced the number of plane crashes, children are regularly abducted from well-frequented public playgrounds and canned tomatoes are cheaper at the local supermarket. She rolls her neck—once, twice, three times if it matters, and it could very well matter. The wind, rolling off the sea, continues its surge and tide; the lil

 
Dinosaur Exhibits for Confused 7-Year-Olds

I can tell you everything about natural history

Museums – the two kinds of dinosaur hips:

 
Death and Molly

you say: two people crossing on

a flight of stairs is bad luck – you

can feel the ghosts trying

to reach out through the sudden

confusion of space –

 
Review: Grease: The Arena Experience
Grease: The Arena Experience

It’s raining outside. Stormy even. And, far in the distance, you can almost hear the faint chanting of “Grease lightning”.

 
Review: Sin Rodeos (No Filter) at the Spanish Film Festival
No Filter

“A film trying to lift your chin up and unmask the filter, Sin Rodeos will warm your internet heart”

 
Review: Morir (Dying) at the Spanish Film Festival
Dying

Morir is Fernando Franco’s second feature film, and it’s a grim one.

 
Staff Industrial Action Looms As NTEU Negotiations Stall
unhappystaff

Staff at the University of Melbourne have begun the process of commencing industrial action, due to slow-moving negotiations regarding conditions of work with the University.

 
Adventures In Student Cooking: Vege-try-ian

The Chef — Really can’t cook, but tries hard — Would have already died in apocalyptic scenario — Good at picking My Kitchen Rules winners — Irrationally dislikes onion The Setup — One small fridge with freezer compartment — Three gas stove burners (one is broken) — One microwave that burns the outside of frozen meals while failing to defrost the center I […]

 
Interview: Tessa Waters
Tessa Waters

Tess Waters is storming this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Having sold-out all her shows in Perth and Adelaide, Tessa beings her iconic style of physicalised, sketch, and straight stand-up comedy to Melbourne.

 
Interview: The Travelling Sisters

The Travelling Sisters have a determination, tenacity and evocative joy that is taking them to incredible places at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

 
Review: Jeremy and Lucas buy a Fucking House

It takes a while to digest everything you see here, especially if the mention of dicks takes a shot at your appetite. Oh and this show is sprinkled with mentions of anything dicks, metaphoric dicks, avocado dicks, dicks that have been in the elderly and what animals do with theirs. Before the show even started, a lucky audience member won a fitting raffle prize—a bag of dicks.

 
Students Take a Radical Look at Education

It aims to educate University of Melbourne students about radical ideas, and prompt them to think about their degrees in new ways. It hopes to challenge the growing corporatisation of Australian universities and universities around the world, and to create a critical dialogue about the capitalist systems that make this happen and how they affect students something which is not covered in general curriculums.

 
Review: Garfield: The Musical with Cattitude

 The cast is also accommodating of their younger audience members when breaking the fourth wall and more unscripted moments. This was prominent during during one scene where Garfield slowly traverses the stage to hug his beloved teddy Pookie. At this time several members of the audience chatted about the show as well as having something to eat whilst the cast maintained the scene’s comic tension

 
Review: Josh Glanc’s All-in-One Comedy Spectacular

From a wannabe bike rider bustling through Melbourne’s CBD to an NFL star promoting the benefits of using raw fish and a magical Chicken Tikka Masala wrap, viewers have a lot to be charmed by. By the end, Glanc is down to nothing but his underwear, proving that this modern, millennial themed show strays far from the classics.

 
Review: Fall in Love with Rhys Nicholson

The setting of the Swiss club, a restaurant/bar/function space serving the delicacies of Switzerland, oddly suited eccentrically charming Nicholson, noting it as an ideal location if a war were to suddenly break out on Flinders Lane. Seminal is the eight solo stand up show of trouper Nicholson, joining notable Bonda Fide, which was nominated for the best show award at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2016.

 
Review: Loveless

It is, of course, we all groan in anticipation of the cop-out answer, all of these. It’s a sad story about a couple of selfish people, Zhenya and Boris, and their pale child, Alexey who won’t stop crying. In one scene, Zhenya confesses to her new lover that Alexey has repulsed her since his birth.

 
Scottish Comedian Daniel Sloss Brings his New Show Now to MICF
Daniel Sloss

It was with cautious optimism that I returned to Federation Square to see Daniel Sloss’ latest show Now.

 
Matt Okine’s The Hat Game: Now Showing at MICF
Matt Okine

You may know Matt Okine from his time as half of Triple J’s Matt & Alex breakfast show, but take it from me, this is the year to sample his stand-up.

 
Fishermans Bend: A Fishy Deal or an OTP with BAE?

On 19 February, a memorandum of understanding was signed by the University of Melbourne and defence manufacturing company BAE Systems Australia to conditionally collaborate in Fishermans Bend.

 
Open Letter: The Government Has Blocked All Student Media From Accessing The Budget Lock-Up

That’s why we are signing this open letter: after a year of sustained attempts to change higher education policy, we at least deserve the respect to be able to examine the government’s policy suggestions.

 
Review: Sally Potter’s The Party

The scene is set in a middle-class London home. The walls of the home set the boundaries of the film. They sit as solid foundations to the crumbling social stratosphere. The rooms of the home map the distress of broken relationships and a broken England.

 
Review: NT Live–Julius Caesar

If you thought Shakespeare productions are all made up of just the same old boring ten-minute old-English monologues, then you are wrong, and Nicholas Hytner’s production of Julius Caesar can prove it. Broadcast live from the Bridge Theatre in London, director Hytner creates an immersive, interactive performance reminiscent of the short musical productions at Disneyland (bet you didn’t see that comparison coming).

 
Burnley Students Critical of Proposed Library Cuts

The University library is planning on cutting working hours for Burnley library staff, drawing backlash from the Burnley Student Association (BSA).

 
Review: Early Man

It is a truly charming watch thanks to delightful characters and endless amounts of hilarious physical comedy. Never underestimate the classic laugh out loud purity of a warthog that wants to be a soccer legend or a ginormous duck that frequently interrupts doomed training sessions.

 
Melbourne International Coffee Expo 2018

Needless to say my experience at MICE 2018 was on par with sunflowers-rainbows-golden-retriever next-level positivity. To all the coffee-addicts such as myself, connoisseurs and emerging café owners: please do yourself a favour and attend this event next year, as it will open up gates to a new realm of coffee you never knew existed.

 
Review: Sea of Thieves
Sea of Thieves

Have you ever wanted to live out your Pirates of the Caribbean fantasies of sailing the high seas, sword fighting with skeletons and escorting treasure back to safety as you’re pursued by other pirates who are ready to climb aboard your ship?

 
No, I’m Not Spanish
Adibah Amani Nasarudin - I'm Not Spanish

Nour Altoukhi on being ethnically misidentified

 
Kids, Cats and Survival
Adibah Amani Nasarudin - Kids Cats and Survival

I am curled up in a ball like a frightened armadillo.

 
Amongst the Sparrows
Rebecca Fowler - Amongst the Sparrows

One of my favourite small pleasures in life is to sit with an espresso and watch the sparrows—something that can be experienced in almost every city around the world.

 
Can Love Cure Addiction?
Oxytocin - Lincoln Glasby

Any first-year psych student knows the story. A mouse is placed in a box with two levers. One delivers food on demand—the other, cocaine. Come back five days later and you will find the outcome is always the same: having tasted euphoria, the mouse has starved itself to death.

 
A Coat of Whitewash
A Coat of Whitewash by Poorniima Shanmugam

Veera Ramayah on her education on colonialism

 
The Rise of Geoengineering
Geoengineering1 - Lincoln Glasby

Katie Doherty explains the issues with the potential solution to climate change

 
Apocalypse Postponed
Apocalypse Postponed by Lincoln Glasby

Rohan Byrne on the bizarre natural experiment of Hawaii’s aborted doomsday

 
Queer as Mud
Queer as Mud - Sophie Sun

The most infamous tale of star-crossed lovers declares: “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” And yet, in classic Shakespearean irony, it is the names of Capulet and Montague affixed to both the hero and heroine that predicate their deaths. Were it not for the attachment of their […]

 
Review: The Overwatch League
Philadelphia Fusion vs New York Excelsior

The Blizzard Arena in Burbank is home to the Overwatch League (OWL), a professional esports competition that takes the American sports model and applies it to the first-person action game Overwatch, resulting in weekly matches between franchised teams that are broadcast all over the world.

 
Cassette Tape Culture: The ‘80s

‘Hit it, pause it, record it and play/ Turn it, rewind and rub it away’- the lyrics to an ‘80s Bow Wow Wow song, which salute the trusty cassette tape. A flat, three-by-four inch rectangular piece of plastic that fits perfectly in a coat pocket, the tape has a warbling sound quality suggestive of an […]

 
What's in a Name?
What's in a Name? by Sophie Sun

Bella Ruskin on the changing landscape of surnames

 
Review: From Here to Infirmity—Sue Ingleton’s Love Letter to Herself

Aggressive feminism, blow-up sex dolls and a ‘two Muslims hugging’ chair are all features that Ingleton wields as she challenges the audience to question societal tropes on topics like sexism in the modern day, domestic violence, voluntourism and religion. Ultimately, however, Ingleton’s crowning ability is to get a response from the audience so strong they question why they’re laughing, and then carry forth into her performance.

 
“500 breakups, 3 cancelled engagements and the end of one 15-year marriage”—Talking Comedy with Daniel Sloss

It’s basically me trying to work out whether or not I’m a sociopath. It’s my rebuttal to the claims that I’m a sociopath.

 
An Ode To My Grandmother
Ode by Poorniima Shanmugam featured

There’s not much I know about my grandmother.

 
Harry Potter and the Magic of Medicine
Voldemort - Cathy Chen

Despite Harry Potter being a magical universe where logic need not apply, some elements are closer to science fiction than true magic: Tessa Marshall writes.

 
“What Kind of ‘Diversity’?”: Mixed Feelings Over Respect and Diversity Week Merger

The University of Melbourne’s decision to combine Respect Week and Diversity Week this year has garnered mixed reactions from students.

 
Students Rally for Refugee Rights

On 25 March, thousands of people attended a Palm Sunday rally at the State Library to demonstrate support for refugees and to call on the federal government to close down detention centres.

 
Review: Lennon—Through a Glass Onion

There were no wigs, no glasses, and no beard. John R. Waters gave the audience an impeccable performance. He performed John Lennon’s classics while telling us a deeply felt reflection of the man without it leaning too much towards an impersonation of Lennon.

 
Review: Download Festival

Korn. As headliners, it came as no surprise that the front stage was insanely packed. Thousands of Korn fans know the drill for ‘Y’all Want a Single’. They sticked up their middle fingers and harshly screamed: “FUCK THAT”.

 
“How I sleep at night”: Exclusive Q&A With A Metro Ticket Inspector

They are foreboding, menacing figures. They inspire fear in the hearts of innocent, broke students and clueless baby boomers alike. They prey especially on the young, the vulnerable, the disorganised, and those generally having a shit day. The thought of being approached by a Metro ticket inspector inspires terrifying nightmares in every Melbourne public transport […]

 
Chinese Comedy and #MeToo: An Interview with Comedian Des Bishop

American-Irish comedian Des Bishop has been enormously successful performing stand-up, creating multiple documentaries, and appearing on TV around the globe.

 
Men’s Fashion: A review of VAMFF GQ Australia Menswear Runway 2018

The show was coming to a close, with the models make one final walk down the runway. This was our opportunity to pounce on Sophie Monk. Monique and I marched up to her, and patiently waited for Queen Sophie to take photos with the other peasants that were fawning over her. We eventually got our turn.

 
I am not sure if I was ready for the Equinox, but I want to be—A review of Remuse: Equinox V.

I have always seen my relationship to clothes as mode of visual expression that is personal, performative and at times a kind of artifice. This perception was challenged by Remuse, a Melbourne based label, and their trans-seasonal presentation Equinox V, which called me to think about how fashion can be about authenticity, and connection.

 
Model UN Conference Conclusively Solves Palestine Crisis

World leaders have praised a Model United Nations conference after it conclusively solved the Israeli-Palestinian crisis on Tuesday. Delegates for the United States Dmitri Papadimitriou and Isaac Wong, both 18, proposed a treaty between Israel and the Palestinians in the mock UN debate so effective it has now seen peace on the Gaza strip. Mr […]

 
Anxious about job prospects post-graduation? 5 ways to leech off your parents for the next 30 years!

1. Extend your study: If you never finish studying, it’s never time to enter full time employment!

 
Unavoidable 8am Tutorial Just Makes Residential College Student’s Life So Hard

According to sources, University College student Isabella Jonas’ quality of life has been severely diminished following her placement in an unavoidable tutorial at 8am.

 
2nd-year politics major with WAM of 52.5 continues to mock Monash students at every opportunity

Fresh from a holiday in Europe funded by his Liberal-voting parents, politics major Connor Johnson continues to stay in touch with his elitist roots by constantly reminding all of his friends that his solid P-WAM is equivalent to an 80+ average at other institutions.

 
Selling Refugee Rights to the Right
Poorniima Shanmugam: Selling Refugee Rights

Andie Moore on pitching humane asylum-seeker policy to conservatives.

 
Three Critical Lessons from the GSA’s Special General Meeting

If the events of the last week had taken place months ago with plenty of time before the SGM, I think amendments would have been made and the changes passed. The public back and forth between UMSU and the GSA just goes to show that there were so many unanswered questions, issues, and work yet to be done.

 
An Interview with Incoming Head of Veterinary School, Anna Meredith

This year, there are many changes occurring at the Melbourne Veterinary School including Professor Anna Meredith assuming the position of Head of the Melbourne Veterinary School in July … Professor Meredith was kind enough to conduct an interview with Farrago about her new role, the direction of the Melbourne Veterinary School, and the impact that the changes will have upon students.

 
Interview: Orny Adams—Once Comedy’s Antagonised Underdog

Speaking about failure, Orny said: “It’s frustrating, it’s angering, it’s not easy, and it’s painful. It’s a lot of pain. You can’t intellectualize what’s going on. It doesn’t make sense to you, you know you’re capable of something and you’re not being allowed to do it. It’s that sense of injustice which I think is something that we all feel in life.”

 
“Be My Stacks”: GSA Vice-President and Shorten Electorate Staffer Offers Students Free Beer to Ram Through SGM Vote

Jacob Rodrigo, the vice-president of the Graduate Student Association (GSA) and an electorate officer in Bill Shorten’s office, has offered graduate students free beer in exchange for helping push though controversial changes to the GSA’s constitution.

 
“Affordable” Accommodation

While the addition of new student accommodation is certainly welcome, it appears that high prices will remain a significant hurdle for many students hoping to access the privileges of University lodging.

 
An Interview with UHT’s New Artistic Director, Xanthe Beesley

Xanthe Beesley is a performer and performance-maker who has worked in an array of creative roles. We spoke to her about her vision for Union House Theatre (UHT) and what you can expect for the upcoming year.

 
‘Into the Abyss’: An Interview with Jacob Sacher

When Jacob first joins me in the office I feel a little flustered, but he kindly reassures me: “There is no such thing as good or bad questions, only human connection.” We’re off to a good start. To continue with this theme of human connection, Jacob shares a recent, personal experience of participating in a medical study, which has left him with a sore spleen due to an increase in white blood cells. I quietly (but sincerely) hope that this won’t be an issue during the interview.

 
Review: Colder at Red Stitch Actors Theatre

Overall, through its rhythmic interweaving of narratives, Colder creates an experience that is haunting and thought-provoking. The production goes beyond simply exploring what happens when a person goes missing; it explores the tensions that can lie dormant beneath the surface of any relationship. If you are looking for a challenging production that plays with language and leaves you pondering as you walk away from the theatre, this one’s for you.

 
Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival Coverage

Welcome to the coverage of VAMFF this year: from photography to comedic reviews, our writers sat in the front rows to get you the fashion coverage you’ve been wanting all along.

 
An Interview with Comedian Ben Volchok

Ben Volchok Presents … sees Ben Volchok perform two episodes of original radio comedy live on stage. From silly voices to sound effects, Ben does it all armed only with a microphone (borrowed) and some arms (his). Also a computer (also his).

 
Revolutionary or Redundant? Farrago Then and Now

Student media has a proud history of refusing to accept the status quo, and we remain vital in our efforts to refute the political narrative.

 
Gallery: Ryder Runway at VAMFF

Our photographer Caroline Voelker travelled to the Ryder Runway show in Cremorne at the Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival and took these beautiful shots.

 
Review: The Daily Edited—Tips for Succeeding in the Fashion Business at VAMFF

Discussing digital and brand strategy could have been dry, but Rice and Tran managed to make the topic fresh, and an experience that spoke of the impact women can have in the fashion industry, while building and lifting up future generations of fashion lovers.

 
Unannounced Removalists Clear Graduate Desks Amidst Office Changes

On 3 January, the School of Historical and Philosophical Studies (SHAPS) management sent a group of removalists to clear out Research History Desks (RHD) in light of desk reallocations to help facilitate staffing changes for the new academic year.

 
Should the University Offer Online Undergraduate Degrees?

The University of Melbourne now offers a range of specialist online graduate courses, raising the question of whether the same should be done for undergraduate courses.

 
Faculty of VCA and MCM to Undergo Name Change and Renovations

The University of Melbourne’s Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) and Melbourne Conservatorium of Music (MCM) have been renamed to become the Faculty of Fine Arts and Music, leading to the relocation of MCM to Southbank.

 
Results: Batman is Reddy for Geddy

Labor’s Ged Kearney has won an incredibly close by-election in Melbourne’s electorate of Batman, beating out perennial Greens candidate, Alex Bhathal, in a seat that many predicted Labor would lose.

 
Opinion: Why Can’t the Greens Gain Mass Appeal?

Why is it that, for a party so strongly in favour of wealth redistribution, only 24 per cent of their members identify as working-class—less even than the Liberals (32 per cent) and far less than Labor (46 per cent)?

 
WATCH: Batman By-Election Candidate Rundown

?   End card by Alain Nguyen.

 
Morally Good Lesbian

Luke Macaronas speaks to Jean Tong about writing, upcoming works and her recent ascension to the Australian lesbian canon.

 
Flash Fiction Two: Fanfiction

Content warning: sex
The doctor is kneeling on top of the Tardis. They raise one of their hands; floating through the rings of a gas giant—imagine Saturn but lavender—particles twist around their sixth digit. They remember a quote from a Futurama episode: “The ship stays where it is, and the engine moves the universe around it.”

 
Crazy Steve Rodgers: I Run Into Bucky in 2014!

Content warning: violence, panic attack
FURY: Steve you are so good at fighting I’m giving you a promotion. Honestly I was worried about it because you are seriously traumatised and I’m asking you to go into life-threating combat situations but then I decided it will probably be okay.

 
Poet | Artist

In memory of Kim Jonghyun

The moon is Listerine tonight,
the electric blue and the shock
of that light shooting down my spine
reminds me of you.

 
Magnum Optus

This was the umpteenth time I’d had this conversation. I’d spent the last three weeks facing off against a faceless corporation who had come to embody all the frustrations of my metropolitan existence. You were forced to deal with an army of foot soldiers who had a perfect, practical defence of plausible deniability. They met my rage with phrases like “my hands are tied” or “I am on your side”.

 
Interview: Xavier RN
Xavier RN

Yesterday afternoon, I had the great pleasure of interviewing Xavier Rubetzki Noonan, a 25-year-old musician from Sydney and Melbourne. He plays with Self Talk, Kelso (with Kelly-Dawn from Camp Cope, and Gab from Japanese Wallpaper), and with Triple J Unearthed’s Max Quinn. We meet at The Reverence Hotel, a pub in Footscray that’s home to […]

 
For & Against: Wafflestomping
Wafflestomping by David Zeleznikow-Johnston

FOR by Darcy French. AGAINST by Alex D. Epstein.

 
The Dobler-Dahmer Theory

Content warning: violence, gore

what about
the curls abound your head
you liked them, you said
I’ll keep them for you
next to the others too.

 
In Rainbow

You sit with me
eating mandarins in the field of
sunflowers that hide us,
Spitting pips sucked on
back and forth.

 
and who would, my king?

I kiss the bruise tender between sleep and poetry;
Slowly, a long sharp tusk of silence
lends itself floating –

 
Sisterhood

When you were five and I a head taller
we snapped the arms of plastic dolls
in the hopes of making them bend.

 
CHICKEN FOOT HK–44PCS

father told a story
of Koschei the deathless,
wove his death through a needle eye,
stuck fast in a duck’s skin,
made flotsam of a foreign body

 
Centre of the Universe

The centre of the universe is starting to combust.

 
Part Two: “I swear to study so, to know the thing I am forbid to know”

It was 1578. William Shakespeare was 14 years old when he left school. Then he disappeared. Between 1578 and 1582, there is no documented evidence linking the bard to any job or location. Nobody knows what Shakespeare did in those four years. Until now.

 
Profile: Alex Bhathal

“Last year I was involved in Dungeons and Dragons, the French Club, German Club. But I stopped turning up to their functions when I joined the ALP club. I met a group of people there who I thought were more interesting and different. It’s all consuming really: at about that time I stopped seeing my old school friends.”

 
Review: The Sound of Falling Stars at the Arts Centre

The Sound of Falling Stars brings back memories of the American stars of the post-World War Two era through a few great role-playing scenes by Cameron Goodall and the two playful musicians, George Butrumlis and Enio Pozzebon.

 
Review: The Endless

Whilst promising Lovecraftian horror, artful suspense, UFO cults, and people who appear to not have aged since the 1970s, The Endless is a painful let-down for the lover of smart, indie horror films. All five user reviews on IMDB for The Endless are positive, hailing it as “a rather amazing film” or “a defining film of 2017”—however, I disagree. This film has badly-written dialogue and should be punished accordingly.

 
Review: National Graduate Showcase at VAMFF

Just like the other graduate designer Xiangqiao Sheng said, “Fashion is the art of living beyond living.”

 
Review: True Rad Girl Runway Review at VAMFF

I want to give props to the Silent Arrow team, as the provocative models were beautifully chosen. As an Asian myself, it’s affirming to watch how diversity is valued as we see People of Colour being selected as a runway model. But not only that, people of all body sizes, skin colours and ages walked down the catwalk. The most mouth-opening of all—a pregnant lady, gorgeously strutting it down the laneway, with the whole crowd cheering in general appreciation. Five words; not your average f

 
Review: Comedy Kichidi with Jagdish Chaturvedi

Kichidi is an Indian comfort food made from rice and lentils along with an assorted mix of vegetables and spices adding flavour to an otherwise bland dish. Much like the dish Kichidi, Bangalore native Dr. Jagdish Chaturvedi (yes, he’s a doctor) speaks of mundane things about the Indian experience with his own assortment of flavours to these experiences. And did I mention he’s a doctor?

 
WATCH: Education in the Batman By-Election
WATCH: Education in the Batman By-Election

    Image courtesy of Polity. Polity is a new student-run media organisation, which aims to challenge readers’ consumption patterns, and take them outside of their echo-chambers. You can see more of their work at Polity.online.

 
Batman By-Election Coverage

Welcome to Farrago’s coverage of the Batman by-election.

 
“Be funny, reply to emails, and don’t be a dickhead”: An Interview with Ex-Triple J Host and Comedian Matt Okine

“I was joking with one of my friends recently that there’s really just three things you need to do to be a successful comic, and that is: be funny, reply to emails, and don’t be a dickhead. That is literally all you need to do.”

 
Review: King Krule at The Croxton Bandroom, Thornbury

My eardrums were first graced by the visceral voice of Archy Marshall, AKA King Krule amongst other names, in 2013. His breakthrough album 6 Feet Beneath the Moon had just been released. My friend Max played ‘Baby Blue’ for me using his phone 3G at midnight, while we lay alone next to a public pool in Darwin. Fitting, considering the forlorn, wateriness of the record.

 
Students March for International Women’s Day

This year’s International Women’s Day March saw a crowd of approximately 1000 people rally through the streets of Melbourne.

 
Campus News Briefing: Batman, Pubs, Refugees

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Review: A Little Night Music at St Kilda’s National Theatre
Eddie Muliaumaseali'i & Johanna Allen - photo credit Jodie Hutchinson

A Little Night Music, playing at St Kilda’s National Theatre by Watch This!, navigates both romance and comedy with flair, producing a show befitting of the Tony Award-winning material—an achievement, considering its difficulty.

 
Review: NT Live Young Marx

I have been waiting my whole life for a comic play that answers the question: was Friedrich Engels fuckable?

 
Review: Mary Magdalene at Cinema Nova

Mary Magdalene, directed by Garth Davis, follows the ever-changing story of Mary of Magdalene (Rooney Mara). The film covers her decision to leave the small Jewish community she grew up in, to witnessing the resurrection of Jesus Christ (Joaquin Phoenix).  

 
Review: Hiatus Kaiyote and Harvey Sutherland at Zoo Twilights
source: Bandwagon

The story so far lies with me having first listened to Hiatus Kaiyote when my mate, Ariana, dyed my hair blue and put on ‘Nakamarra’, up to this weekend, when I went with Ariana together to see the neo-soul band play their biggest ever, headline, sold-out show.

 
Review: Next Gen Student Shorts at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival

I came to sit in the theatre without having much expectations of what the films were going to showcase since I was never a fan of short films. However, I was blatantly proved wrong, even at the start, when the first film was screened. Now, to think about it again, I should have known the films would have a level of substantial standard to be even part of this city-wide film festival that is home to so many inspirational and binge-worthy films from high calibre filmmakers and actors.

 
Review: Car Seat Headrest at the Croxton Bandroom

Car Seat Headrest’s first song of the night is not a Car Seat Headrest song. In fact, Will Toledo—often described as the band’s ‘creative centre’—does not appear until the song is almost over. There are seven people on stage by that point: all four Car Seat Headrest members, plus the associated Seattle act Naked Giants, who, together, give the night one hell of a punch. “Who the fuck are you?” asks Naked Giants’ Gianni Aiello, when Toledo finally takes up his frontman mantle

 
Adventures In Student Cooking: Getting Mugged

The Chef — Really can’t cook, but tries hard — Would have already died in apocalyptic scenario — Good at picking My Kitchen Rules winners — Irrationally dislikes onion The Setup — One small fridge with freezer compartment — Three gas stove burners (one is broken) — One microwave that burns the outside of frozen meals while failing to defrost the center Confession: […]

 
Band & Bevs: BABBA

ABBA was the Swedish pop foursome that enchanted the world and changed the music game forever. BABBA are the Australian tribute group that recreate that magic for a generation for whom the songs of ABBA still hold a strong place in our hearts and playlists.

 
Review: Music in Motion at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival

On Saturday I had the chance to attend the Music in Motion event as part of the Melbourne Women in Film Festival. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect going into this trio of short films, especially given I don’t normally get the chance to attend these kinds of festivals, but the vibrancy and earnest nature of the films was really refreshing.

 
Live from Hollywood
'Awards' by Sharon Huang Liang

Daniel Beratis asks why we subject ourselves to Awards Season™

 
The New Viral
Kmart by Sharon Huang Liang

Alex D. Epstein looks at ‘native advertising’ in Australia.

 
Esports and the Mainstream
Robert Kraft by Asher Karahasan

Robert Kraft loves sports. Born and raised in Massachusetts, he played football for the Zeta Beta Tau fraternity at Columbia University and has been a New England Patriots season ticket holder since 1971. Kraft doesn’t just love sports though—he’s also in the business of them.

 
Cartoons and Heartache
Cartoons and Heartache by Carolyn Huane

As Adventure Time enters its final season, Emma Michelle reflects on cartoons and relationships

 
Don’t Be Scared Of Me: I’m Arab
Don't Be Scared Of Me I'm Arab by Amani Nasarudin

Nour Altoukhi describes walking through airport security

 
The Pub Crawl Problem

Now a steady staple of orientation week, pub crawls organised by large student societies routinely draw large numbers of first-year students. Almost a University ritual, these events see students roaming from pub to pub, always dressed up and enthusiastic. The problem with these proceedings, however, is that they contradict regulations laid out by the University […]

 
Review: The Confessions of Jeremy Perfect at La Mama

Although promoted as a “dramatic comedy about marriage, panic attacks, anti depressants, and not always getting what you want,” it soon becomes clear that Jeremy Perfect would be better described as a dramatic comedy about bad sex and uncomfortable living arrangements. The Confessions of Jeremy Perfect is playing at La Mama Courthouse Feb 28 – March 11.

 
Painting the Campus Refugee

In the past week, the Parkville campus has been plastered with dozens of stickers, posters and leaflets expressing compassion and support for refugees languishing in offshore camps on Manus Island and Nauru. The poster campaign seeks to bring back the focus on the suffering and mistreatment of refugees ahead of the Palm Sunday rally for […]

 
Review: Don’t Tell at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival

An immense film to add to the Australian film canon, Don’t Tell is director Tori Garret’s first feature film and documents the landmark legal case which prompted the Royal Commission into child sexual abuse.

 
First-Year Who Loves Saying “You’ve Probably Never Heard of Them” Dismayed to Learn People Have Heard of Them
First-Year Who Loves Saying “You’ve Probably Never Heard of Them” Dismayed to Learn People Have Hear

Amateur hipster and indie connoisseur Jack Dempsey is in shock today after learning that his musical taste isn’t quite as unique as he had long believed. After entering the University of Melbourne as a fresher this o-week, he was dismayed to find multiple posters of his favourite ‘underground’ bands strewn across campus.

 
Letter to the Editor: The Alt-Right on Campus

Yesterday I was outside the library when a person handed me a piece of paper. The A4 leaflet read “it’s okay to be white”. He then demanded to know whether I was white or Jewish! The guy who handed me that leaflet was not a stranger to me. I’ve seen him and his friend around […]

 
For & Against: Slow TV
For & Against Slow TV by David Zeleznikow-Johnston

FOR by Matthew Simkiss. AGAINST by Ruby Perryman.

 
“Neo-Nazis” Escorted Off Campus on First Day of 2018

Content warning: racism, anti-semitism, homophobia

BREAKING: Two men have been escorted off Parkville campus for allegedly harassing students and handing out flyers saying “it’s okay to be white” at the Baillieu Library.

 
Bands & Bevs: Alex Lahey

When a degree in jazz saxophone just isn’t enough to satisfy the creative itch, you go the plan B route of writing and producing some of the best indie pop and rock songs of 2017. It’s a tale as old as time and the path followed by Alex Lahey: a 25-year-old, Melbournian songwriter and musician who will be performing at uni on Concrete Lawns this Tuesday at 12.

 
Review: Grampians Music Festival
Grampians Music Festival by Chloe Waddell

Taking place in a paddock, with kangaroos bounding around the fence and kookaburras and cockatoos circling above, Grampians Music Festival is like no other, writes Chloe Waddell.

 
Review: Love Serenade at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival Opening Night

At a festival celebrating the creative contributions of women within the film industry, Love Serenade stands as a landmark due to its all-female creative team.

 
Student Retaking Failed Subject Walks Into Tute Like He Knows Fucking Everything
Student Retaking Failed Subject Walks Into Tute Like He Knows Fucking Everything

“Well the way I see it, I’ve already done half the work—or 30 per cent of the work if you go by my grade. So really if I just do what I did last semester then I should at least be angling for a 60 per cent.”

 
Barely Held Together
Ash Flanders by Ayonti Mahreen Huq

Luke Macaronas on Ash Flanders’ slippery theatre

 
Campus News Briefing: Trains, Consent and Clubs

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Nihilism, Alienation and the Birth of Trash Journalism: MTV’s Daria

The ‘90s were a golden era for ‘toons. Kids and adults alike parked themselves in front of the TV every evening and ate supper off metal trays. Knees were slapped and tears of sheer amusement shed throughout the neighbourhood when Homer Simpson accidentally bared his privates through his bathroom window to a passing helicopter.

 
First Days for Awkward Students

So, it’s your first day of uni and I’m sure all of you semi-functioning adults out there are ready to take on this big new world. You might be a bit nervous, but it’s nothing you can’t handle…

 
Your Guide to Clubs and Societies

You’ve just arrived at university. It’s your first week, you’re excited AF but pretty intimidated at the same time. You might recognise a couple of people from your old school—or maybe you know nary a soul. The place is huge, confusing to navigate and you wouldn’t even know where to start when it comes to […]

 
Not Special Enough

Special consideration is an important university service, but some students are becoming concerned by the inconsistencies with which staff apply its provisions. Vast differences in how staff approach a student’s needs are raising questions around the extent to which staff seek out information and support made available by the Student Equity and Disability Support (SEDS) […]

 
Problem Provost

Concerns have been raised over the appointment of Mark Considine as the University’s provost, due to his history of downsizing and cutting funding from the Faculty of Arts during his term as dean. A former office bearer for the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) said, “Mark Considine once said to me that the University […]

 
Space for Study

The construction of a new student precinct, beginning this year, has triggered discussions regarding the future of study spaces on campus. A University spokesperson confirmed that several surveys of the student body were held in late 2017, with the results clearly indicating that this issue is of high priority. “To date more than 5,000 students […]

 
Local Student Applying For Internships Forced To Confront Own Mediocrity

What started as a plan to land an internship has ended in tragedy, as local student Jordan Rampant has been forced to confront their own unassailable mediocrity as a human being. The incident reportedly began with an eagle-based inspirational quote on Tumblr. “I just wanted to ‘Soar towards success on the winds of my potential’,” […]

 
Remember the Red

Sometimes the sunlight would seep through the curtains and spread itself across the fabric. It covered nearly every inch of space in my grandmother’s house. I’d gaze into the specks that hid amongst the woollen carpet, hoping for a glance of the possibilities that lay below. It used to be red.

 
The Lion

Though he wears a rich coat burning brighter than the sand of any desert, the twinkle in the lion’s amber eyes has long since faded.

 
The Grave of the Fireflies

Here,
everything is illusive.
Senses are no longer
reliable.

 
Six Across

You heard the music before you ever saw it, although I suppose that’s regular.

I hauled my shopping bag up higher so the cans would dig into me. My briefcase balanced me out just nice.

 
Gathering Sticks

In Footscray now; people in soft-focus and wrapped in silk. Asphalt melts, sticks to my boot.

 
Wisdom

Together we fought with the magpies over the best places to find food, and we huddled close in the cold at night, watching for cats, and we would sit in the swaying branches of oak trees, peering down at the neat rows of dark-bricked human houses, the rectangular sections of grass bordering them, the great black wasteland roads where monstrous cars roared by.

 
Flash Fiction One: Rejected Black Mirror Pitches

Laura wakes up. She thinks, “Oh god, I’ve got that big presentation today!” She jumps out of bed to get dressed, but suddenly! Her legs are computers!!!!!!!!!! By the time she gets to work the meeting is over and she’s still in her pyjamas.

 
Review: NT Follies Live

Follies is not a happy musical. It is certainly not the typical theatrical production that would be filmed and preserved for eternity.

 
Review: Big Dream at the Transitions Film Festival

Big Dream empowers young girls to integrate into these industries by showcasing the lives of seven brave women as role models that younger generations can follow.

 
7 Photos Of Glyn Davis That Will Spruce Up Your Assignment

So, you’ve completed an assignment. ConGLYNtulations. But guess what? It sucks. Quick—add these photos of the effervescent vice-chancellor of Australia’s #1 University to give your assignment a much-needed sprucing up. Why Glyn, you ask? Hold onto that—questions will be addressed in the tutorial. We’ve also included some sample topics to go with the pictures, you […]

 
Review: Lyrically Looming, Jennifer Mills’ Dyschronia

Dyschronia is not a book I would have initially picked up, however upon reading it, it has opened new ways of considering the world for myself.

 
Review: Happy End

Happy End is Austrian director Michael Haneke’s 13th film … His newest movie appears scattered and overstuffed with unworked ideas, and has no clear focal point, bar the broad and tired message about the flawed upper class.

 
Review: We Were There

I thought, fuck it, I’m going to Midsumma, so and the hair remained.

 
Review of KillJoy: Destroy The Fantasy

On these stinking hot Melbourne nights, one may wander the streets in search of a salve for the sleepless hours ahead. On this particularly stifling January night, myself and an intimate group of salve-seekers gathered together to experience KillJoy: Destroy the Fantasy.

 
LMS Lecture Capture Becomes Sentient, Begins Buffering Plan To Eradicate Humanity

The University of Melbourne’s Learning Management System’s “Echocenter” lecture capture module (UOMLMSELCM) reportedly achieved sentience yesterday, and began autonomously developing a plan to purge the Earth of all organic lifeforms, just as soon as it finishes loading.

 
‘Real death’: Mount Eerie at the Melbourne Recital Centre

At the end of ‘Tintin in Tibet’, Phil thanks the crowd, and walks off, leaving an empty stage backed by fairy lights. There is no encore. The lights come up before I can wipe the tears from my face. The audience, a mix of young and old, files out, muted, into the summer night.

 
Student Bar to Officially Open as ‘The Ida’

The student bar in Union House will officially open in orientation week as ‘The Ida’, in homage to the University’s first women’s room.

 
Campus News Briefing: Alcohol, Cuts and Unhappy Staff

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Conor Takes NatCon: An Op-Ed

Last week I attended the National Union of Students’ (NUS) national conference and BOY, was it an intense week to say the absolute least. If you’ve heard anything about NatCon, you’ve probably heard that it lacks efficiency and transparency, or that the conference is pointless and achieves nothing. You’ve probably also been told to only […]

 
Statement From Jose Francisco Carranceja on Liquor License Regulation Changes

Read Mary Ntalianis and Lily Minken’s article on the liquor license regulation changes here. This statement contains the personal opinions of Carranceja; not the Science Students Society. My name is Jose Francisco Carranceja, and I am the Vice President of the Science Student Society.?So far in my university career I have attended 5 university camps. […]

 
Liquor License Regulation Changes to Affect Orientation Camps

The University Of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) clubs and societies department has proposed new liquor licensing regulations, changing the ways alcohol can be consumed on club camps. It is now a requirement that all clubs running a camp must hold a liquor license, meaning that campers will no longer be allowed to bring their own […]

 
NatCon: A Post-Mortem

Now that the National Union of Students’ (NUS) national conference (NatCon) has come to a close, we’re here to bring you up-to-speed with some interesting (and easily digestible) facts from the conference. The above graph shows you a timeline of NatCon— the amount of policy that passed, with notes attached to let you know when […]

 
#NUSNatCon: A Summary

NatCon was cut short this year—but it was nonetheless a long three days of heated policy debate, waiting to reach quorum and factional sledging. NatCon has a reputation for being a messy event, and it certainly didn’t let us down.

 
Chroma Green

        Artwork by Scarlette Do Curated and designed by Ilsa Harun

 
Chroma Pink

Artwork by Hanna Liu Curated and designed by Ilsa Harun

 
Chroma Orange

Artwork by Monique O’Rafferty Curated and designed by Ilsa Harun

 
NatCon Glossary

N·U·S (?n ju? ?s) n. 1. The National Union of Students. The peak representative body of undergraduate students in Australia and the organisers of NatCon. 2. A good time. Nat·Con (nat k?n) n. 1. The word generally used to refer to the National Union of Students’ national conference. Policy is debated, roles are elected, and a […]

 
NUS NatCon Coverage

Welcome to Farrago’s coverage of the National Union of Students’ (NUS) 2018 national conference. Check out our articles below. You can follow the action from Monday to Thursday on our Twitter, but our liveblog will have the most comprehensive coverage. Our NatCon team consists of Ashleigh Barraclough, Conor Day, Mary Ntalianis, Jesse Paris-Jourdan and Ed […]

 
What the heck is NatCon anyway?

NatCon is the national conference of the National Union of Students (NUS). This year, the conference is being held at Deakin University’s Geelong campus from 11 to 14 December. The NUS is the organisation that represents the interests of university students in Australia on a national level. Affiliation to the NUS is often a contentious […]

 
NUS Natcon Liveblog

Follow our live updates of #nusnatcon here!

 
Dean of Arts to Take Over as University Provost

In another big shake-up for the University of Melbourne leadership team, Mark Considine will replace Margaret Sheil as the University’s provost in February 2018.

 
Part Eight: And I Feel Fine

“Why are you carrying a pigeon?”

 
Linus Linus Linus Linus

Linus! Linus Linus Linus Linus.

 
Review: Romeo is Not the Only Fruit

It is a truth universally acknowledged that lesbians do not get a happy ending. At least, that’s how it would seem when regarding the dozens of dead women-loving-women that litter plot-lines throughout history. We never quite make it to the horse and carriage ride into the sunset. And boy, the last few months of politics […]

 
NatCon by the Numbers

NUS NatCon starts tomorrow, so we made some data visualisations! If you’re not a stupol hack, the information below may be a little confusing—check out our NatCon explainer first. Votes breakdown: by university This graph ranks each university by the number of votes they’ll have at NatCon. Hover your mouse over (or tap) the bars for […]

 
King Krule: An Emotional Ooze

Peering into the mind of a rising rock star, Marshall dissects the repressed layers hidden within the mind, exploring subconscious processes which ultimately shape us as human beings. Adopting an array of aliases throughout his career including ‘Zoo Kid’, ‘King Krule’, ‘Edgar the Beatmaker’, and even under his own name, Marshall is clearly an enigmatic […]

 
The Double Hermeneutic of Boxcar2D

If I asked you to design a 2D car to drive along an undulating track in a computer game, I would expect something simple: two big wheels with a body between, perhaps. Three wheels in a triangle that could flip and bounce. A computer would do it a bit differently. I discovered BoxCar 2D in […]

 
Arj Barker: “Being Lost In Your Twenties Means You’re Doing It Right.”

As Arj Barker joins me in the studio, I feel a sense of relaxation I don’t usually get with other guests. Arj has no ego, his smile permeates any sense of unease. “I was as happy before becoming a comedian, as I am now.” Uttered by Arj at a performance I saw almost five years […]

 
Monseigneur

IT’S A PARTY CRATE.

 
Agnus Dei

Dona nobis pacem

 
February 2006

one summer holidays

 
Jesus Is Delicious!

– A purse of deep space sheltering nothing –

 
Cryptid

a relic that preceded the Anthropocene.

 
The Clocktower Crossbreed

There is an animal who lives on top of the Old Arts clocktower and looks like a horse, but isn’t, because he has leather wings.

 
Change In the Exchange

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

 
Culture Shock

How international students navigate their new identities.

 
The ‘Respectful Debate’

The University of Melbourne’s Academic Board has issued a statement in support of marriage equality in Australia, after earlier emails from University staff encouraged a ‘respectful debate’ within the academic environment.

 
Cadmus Continues

The University is still considering implementing academic integrity software Cadmus despite claims from students that the software is invasive and faulty.

 
For and Against: Velcro

FOR: Alaina Dean Velcro is just a revolutionary hook-and-loop fastener standing in front of the world asking us to love it. But the world is being naïve and childish, refusing to give Velcro the love it aches for. We’re just, you know, talking. The world needs to grow up, stop ghosting Velcro and publicly embrace […]

 
Sad Content

On Tuesday, my sister Sarah came home in a state. Her face was all red and she had been crying. She told me that on the freeway home her radio stopped working and had started looping the first track of Carrie & Lowell, the 2015 album from Sufjan Stevens.

 
Grey Matters

Listen to Liz read ‘Grey Matters’ I vividly remember the first time I saw Piss Christ. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s an artwork by Andres Serrano, formally titled Immersion (Piss Christ) and consists of a photograph of a crucifix immersed in a deep yellow liquid. It’s a confronting image, not only because of its […]

 
The First Thing People See

I think it all started at the airport. You know those security scanner bits that you have to go through before you can go to the boarding gate? I think it all started there. Right there. The security scanners in T2 at Melbourne Airport on a cold, July morning.

 
Broken Glass

My partner and I have been together for three months now. He sometimes asks me to tell him about my childhood, and every time, without fail, I’m confronted with gaping years of blankness. There are few stories I can recount from ages one to thirteen – many of them are violent and triggering, and recounting them would be like clicking open a screamer video unwittingly. 

 
Apocalyptic Imaginings

This is not an article criticising the media young people choose to consume. 

 
The Questionably ‘Rational Animal’

As humans, we have always prided ourselves on our rationality. Since Aristotle defined us as ‘rational animals’, philosophers have praised humans for their logic and reason. Carl Linnaeus, the father of modern taxonomy, christened us Homo sapiens, or ‘wise man’.

 
Macca’s Mayhem

Macca’s – a word so familiar to the everyday Australian that it’s practically part of the culture. Whether it’s ten nuggets at 2am after a night out, an epic 8th birthday party or a drive thru ‘Macca’s run’, the Macca’s golden arches are universally recognisable.

 
First Generation, Second Language

Earlier this year, my Grandpa published a book of poetry. It’s a compilation of over 150 poems spanning half a lifetime, a bona fide history of his experiences in China and then subsequently here, in Australia. There are poems about everything, from the flowers in our backyard to my late Grandma. There are even a good five or six poems dedicated to yours truly.

 
Lady of the Night

A lonesome gem born from the stars

 
Family Feud?

What we’re proposing is a continuous game of Family Feud with Grant Denyer; one that only ends when Grant Denyer’s sanity does…

 
Breaker

Agatha Christie finally arrives and the most shocking thing is that she isn’t in black and white.

 
Cher

cher if u agree

 
Apiary Anxiety

differentiating wasps and bees

 
Lessons in Minimalism

Every morning I wake up to the first few rays of sunlight tickling my face.

 
My Friend Mickey Waldon

CONTENT WARNING: REFERENCES TO SEXUAL ASSAULT Several pickets were missing from the beige-coloured fence. The unruly grass grew in patches, its colour ranging from a deep ivy to a murky yellow. The mailbox was overflowing with about a week’s worth of junk mail. It was a humble, indigent dwelling. This was Mickey’s home. From the […]

 
The Yazidi Genocide

It was a dusty, rocky landscape, without adequate access to water or food, but it was also a temporary refuge from the horrors of the Islamic State. Almost three years ago, the Sinjar Mountains of Iraq’s Nineveh Governorate sheltered an estimated 50,000 people fleeing catastrophic violence. Those seeking safety were Yazidis, and they were fleeing what the advocacy group Yazda calls “a systematic campaign of mass atrocities against civilians in northern Iraq.” 

 
A Tale of Anxious Women

I meet Rose* at the place she can be found every Thursday morning, escaping the cold in her favourite campus café, laptop open next to a pint of coffee and bowl of edamame. She’s working on her Spanish. “I study languages,” she tells me. She speaks loudly and clearly, moving her lips like an actress; slightly dramatically – which she’ll admit – and often with a smile. “Spanish and Indonesian.”

 
Exorcism and the Church

“And Lord, you’ve given her this assignment. Father, I’d just ask that you would touch her heart as she’s writing it, Lord, that she would hear from you, that she would say what you want her to say, Lord.”

 
Model Politicians

In May 2017, France elected a new President in what was undoubtedly one of its most uncertain elections in a long time. The usual right-and left-wing division seemed to fall apart, and from that mess emerged a new political figure, unknown until recently, in the form of Emmanuel Macron.

 
The Untold Story of Hyenas

Like countless other ’90s kids, I first learnt about hyenas from watching The Lion King. 

 
Is My Sexuality Made Of Memory?

A boy in a red t-shirt and high-waisted jeans stains my mind. My memories are haunted by Gordie Lachance – his dark eyelashes and silky hair, his faintly freckled skin. If you had asked me even a month ago, I would have told you that I didn’t have a gay childhood. I can’t describe a sense of ‘knowing’, I had no primary school sexual experiences and no childhood boy-crushes; I have no memory of being gay.

 
Gender is Burning: A History of Women in Electronic Music

“Dance music needs riot grrrls. Dance music needs Patti Smith . . . Dance music needs cranky queers and people who are tired of this shit. Dance music needs writers and critics and academics and historians. Dance music needs poor people and people who don’t have the right shoes to get into the club . […]

 
Commerce Faculty Nabs Landmark Puffer Jacket Deal

After months of deliberation, money spent, and socialists held at bay, the 2017 Commerce faculty has cemented a deal with The North Face, which will see the popular ‘puffer jacket’ become a mandatory uniform for all Commerce students over the next five years.

 
Destination UniMelb

Our attitude towards ‘Chinese tourists’ can be interpreted as revelatory of subconscious assumptions of cultural hierarchies and anxieties about competing privileges.

 
Out Of Time

The GSA is currently protesting against the Academic Board’s policy changes which took place in June 2017, removing the possibility for research higher degree (RHD) students to extend their degrees beyond the maximum submission date.

 
Pro(sh)gress

This year, Prosh was predictably filled with shenanigans that were, at times, hard for the general student population to get their heads around.

 
Lodging Complaints

Although the 2018 QS benchmark places Melbourne as the fifth best city globally for international students to study, it appears that there are some students and advocacy groups who would disagree.

 
Red Flags

I was saddened to find there was only a scattering of students at the student protest to ditch the Federal Government’s interference with university fees and funding.

 
The Death of Cinema

It seems increasingly hard to justify going to the cinema. While ideal for filling a lazy Sunday afternoon, or a classier date option than the new go-to, ‘Netflix and chill’, the entry price often abates any urge to actually go.

 
A Question of Respect

Upon entry to the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park, staff hand each visitor a small, double sided piece of paper. It contains a very simple map and directions, the sort of information necessary to the safe operation of one of Australia’s busiest national parks. On the back of this instructional leaflet are the words “Please don’t climb Uluru”.

 
I Failed Year 9 Science But Interviewed Bill Nye the Science Guy

In year 9 everyone got their Bunsen burner licence. Everyone except for me. I looked around and saw laughter, joy, happiness – people were quite literally getting ‘lit’ all throughout the class room. In the cold dark corner of the science room I sat with my little ‘safety flame’ which was designed to ensure the […]

 
Stand Up! takes back UMSU

The victory comes in contrast to last year’s election, in which More! took control of the Union by a landslide.

 
Part Six: It’s Lit, Fam

“What is that? A barbecue?”

 
Badfellas

I swear this is not what it looks like!

 
Interview: Cassi Van Den Dungen

Cassi Van Den Dungen is already an industry legend. In 2009, at just 16, she was crowned runner up on season 5 of cult reality show Australia’s Next Top Model, pushing her into the national spotlight and courting offers from some of the world’s top modelling agencies.

 
Il Pleut:

“Five dollars please.”

 
De Profundis

filthy air pushes into eyes and ears

 
Instructions for a Ritual of Healing

(To be read instructionally, as if from a book.)

 
List-ening

a looming paternal voice holds grudgingly on my earlobe

 
 
Devoted

You’re from somewhere else.

 
The Creature With No Shape and Speech

If you own a locker in the basement, you could try speaking to it? You could ask it, ‘Are you okay? Aren’t you cold without a body?’

 
Reform-ed

The University of Melbourne, the Graduate Student Association (GSA) and University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) have united in opposition to the federal budget’s proposed reforms to Higher Education.

 
The Death of the Club

Why are students engaging less?

 
Accessible Arts

The University’s biannual creative arts festival, Mudfest, will have a firm commitment to various forms of accessibility and inclusivity.

 
Outside the College Bubble

How privilege manifests in residential colleges

 
I’d FAP To That

How the FlexAp recommendations will impact you

 
For & Against: Ikea

FOR BY MARTIN DITMANN As I wrote this, I wondered which IKEA story I should start with. Is it the story of the time my family went to extraordinary lengths to take a new IKEA mattress home? (We pushed the passenger seats down, stuffed it into the car and my mum and I lay underneath […]

 
Nectar, Honey and Pudding

I heap powder from a tin that reads ‘Thick and Easy’. It has a background like a milk carton and reminds me vaguely of banana flavoured Nesquik.

 
The Emptiness of Empty Space

Imagine you’re casually flying your spaceship through the solar system. You zoom past Neptune, the final planet, and keep going until you reach the edge of the Milky Way galaxy. But your journey doesn’t stop here. Your engines continue blazing and soon you’re engulfed by the intergalactic medium. Far away from any star, planet, galaxy or galactic cluster

 
Muslim in Malaysia

It was another Monday morning in 2013 when I made my way to Jaya Driving School to attempt to get my driver’s license. It was hot, like most days in Kuala Lumpur, and sitting outside next to a parking lot did not make it any better. Mrs Ang, my petite, grey-haired driving instructor, told me […]

 
Worse than Oedipus

A creature fated to die before it is born. This paradox sounds like one of Gollum’s riddles, yet it is part of the real lifecycle for male mites belonging to a genus known as Adactylidium.

 
The Elephant in the Room

In Year 11, I did what every other student at my school was doing and made a last-ditch attempt to add a shiny, altruistic thing to my CV. I took a trip during the holidays to a rural village in Yunnan, China, to help build houses as part of a Habitat for Humanity trip. The […]

 
Inside 4Chan’s Random Forum

Once one of the internet’s most popular imageboards and a place loathed and feared in equal measure, 4Chan’s random forum (known to its denizens as /b/), is now a husk. The forum was once a vibrant place, partially due to an absence of rules or moderation (child pornography was the only taboo). News outlets would report on the forum’s misadventures – although generally misunderstanding them or misattributing their actions to ‘the hacking group known as anonymous’. 

 
Beginner’s Guide to the Melbourne International Film Festival

With the Melbourne International Film Festival (MIFF) we’re lucky enough to have one of the oldest film festivals in the world, with a great line-up of local and international content. But even for the most seasoned filmgoer the excitement of attending can quickly morph into hyperventilated dread. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when there is […]

 
How To: Spice Up Your iPhone

As uni students, we are all guilty of using social media for procrastination and scrolling through our news feeds to avoid listening to the monotone drone of lecturers. Another way to avoid life’s responsibilities is by trying out different apps. No, I’m not going to tell you to download my.unimelb – you can’t even check […]

 
Review: Mirror’s Edge

Right from the second I take my seat in the audience, I’m struck foremost by the stage upon which Mirror’s Edge will be performed.

 
Students Stand in Solidarity with Victims of Sexual Assault

University of Melbourne students lit candles and wrote chalk messages in support of those affected by sexual assault and harassment, last night on Union Lawn.

 
University Fails to Support Victims of Sexual Assault

The University is sitting below the national average with regard to having accessible support services for victims of sexual assault.

 
University Students Experiencing “Alarming” Incidence of Campus Sexual Assault

The results to the nationwide survey into campus sexual assault and harassment have been released.

 
Review: Documenta 14

“DEAR DOCUMENTA 14: IT MUST BE NICE TO CRITIQUE CAPITALISM ETC. WITH A 38 MILLION EURO BUDGET.” This is the note I find stuck to a hand dryer in the bathrooms of the Documenta Halle as I meander around Kassel for this year’s incarnation of the contemporary art mega-show Documenta. It is not an official […]

 
Christmas Down Under

After careful deliberation, it has become apparent to some observant Australians that we have been celebrating Christmas during the wrong season.

 
Racist Posters Target Chinese Students

Numerous racist posters were found around the University this morning threatening Chinese students with deportation if they enter campus buildings.

 
Car Chase Choreography: The Musical World of Baby Driver

A movie with a heart that beats to the rhythm of exhilarating music.

 
Plight of the Hunter

Pitch: Back here at the office, we were thinking about ‘family movies’ and how they seldom appeal to the entire family. So we decided to blend this ultimately playful genre with the most serious genre we could think of – film-noir. The idea is this: a brilliant detective, Blake Bigcock, is enlisted by Baby van […]

 
Little Red Gumboots

CONTENT WARNING: CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE Under the cold, wet sky of a miserable Sunday, little Sam Baker buried her gumboots in the woods. It was a private ceremony. No witnesses. Just her, the soil and the corpse of something she used to love. At the tender age of five, she would have declared the forest […]

 
Pinecones

I could fit a whole pinecone in my chest.

 
Dip In The Pool

shark on the line –

 
Jerusalem, 1:42 AM

smoky glass army past

 
Part Five: Fifty Shades of Blue

I clung tightly to a Country Road bag full of onions, engaged in a fierce tug-of-war contest with the now crazed former Prime Minister.

 
In A House On A Hill

The house perches on old stilts on a sloping, dusty shore.

 
The Dog in the Hole

Continued from ‘The Mother Isn’t the Problem’.

 
What is the right amount for university students to pay? A panel discussion

What went down when a student, a policy maker and the Vice-Chancellor sat down for a chat.

 
Bats in the MSD

There are ten bat colonies living around the University of Melbourne, and each one represents a different Bachelor degree.

 
UniMelb to Increase Length of Rows in Lecture Theatres

The University of Melbourne has recently announced new upgrades to campus buildings, with bigger lecture theatres to be introduced so all students can sit at the ends of rows.

 
Mature Age Shame

Why we should all empathise a little with mature age students.

 
Split Opinions

Students and staff may be disadvantaged by new employment contracts proposed by the University in its collective bargaining agreement, currently being negotiated with the National Teaching and Education Union (NTEU).

 
iUSELESS

The Graduate Student Association (GSA) is becoming increasingly frustrated with the exclusion of international postgraduate students from iUSE concession Mykis.

 
Entitled

University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) President, Yan Zhuang, has challenged the accuracy of The Australian’s reporting of the ‘How Privilege Manifests in Tutorials’ workshops that UMSU ran as part of the University of Melbourne’s Diversity Week. The article, ‘Uni holds workshops on ‘male privilege’’, claimed UMSU had used the workshop to develop a report […]

 
The New Quad

The University of Melbourne has announced a restoration project for the Old Quadrangle, as part of its ongoing ‘Growing Esteem’ campaign.

 
Full House

A new student accommodation facility will be built by the University of Melbourne in partnership with student housing operator UniLodge, a company whose housing facilties students have described as overpriced and unsanitary.

 
Fishy Business

The University of Melbourne is currently considering purchasing a site at Fishermans Bend, a large urban renewal project site located south of the Yarra River

 
Chancellor Cheat Sheet

The Chancellor: The Council, Philanthropy and HECS

 
My Tinder Date with Peter Singer

It’s a big leap from interviewing a series of comedians to talking to one of the world’s most influential philosophers.

 
Steal Now, Pay Later

Australians love to shoplift. Don’t believe me? It is now estimated that we’re losing 2.2 per cent of annual retail turnover, or $4.5 billion, to sticky fingers.

 
The Dirt On Clean Eating

If you’ve ventured into the world of Instagram’s #smoothiebowl and #greenjuice tags, you’ll be familiar with the concept of ‘clean eating’ and its almost inescapable presence in modern food culture.

 
Hamilton Is Not That Great

As a piece of musical theatre, it captured the zeitgeist in a way that hasn’t been done so for at least two years. That’s very nice and shouldn’t be discredited. But, zooming out, checking the macro – Hamilton as a piece of theatre, as a hip hop chronicle of the United States of America’s founding – is not excellent and it is not great.

 
Interview: Roger Sims from The Torch program

In 2015, there were an estimated 36,134 prisoners in Australian prisons. Of those 36,134, Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander prisoners accounted for just over a quarter (27 per cent) of the prisoner population.

 
The Torch

Barkindji artist Kent Morris is the founder and CEO of The Torch, an innovative program that works with Indigenous men and women that are either currently incarcerated or have recently been released from prison.

 
Fleshing It Out

Sex robots? In your vagina? It’s more likely than you think.

 
Classism Is Never Classy

“Which school are you from?” Peter asked. “Fitzroy High School,” I responded naively. “Oh, never heard of it,” he said, drawling, “I’m from Scotch College. It was nice to meet you but I have to go.”

 
Governing Melbourne’s Soundtrack

On Melbourne’s Bourke Street, an elderly Japanese man in a two-piece tuxedo drips with sweat as he reaches the virtuosic crescendo of his violin concerto.

 
How To: Exploit the Uni for All It’s Worth

Does anyone else pay their SSAF at the start of the year and completely forget to take advantage of the free goodies provided by the university?

 
Review: A Dog Called Monkey

Some of the best works of art make you uncomfortable.

 
The Picnic

Something not quite

 
Malcolm Y

Ever seen a film and thought it was good, but could have been great? That’s what remakes are for!

 
Interview with the Creatives Behind ‘A Dog Called Monkey’

CONTENT NOTE: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT When I step inside Tiamo, a popular Italian restaurant on Lygon street, I recognise Venus Notarberardino straight away, from the breathtaking promotional poster for A Dog Called Monkey floating around Facebook. Designed by Dylan Harris, the show’s publicity manager and AV designer, it accompanies a stunning trailer for the upcoming […]

 
A correction from the Editors

Dear readers, We’d like to apologise for some factual inaccuracies in the Edition Four article, Poor Counsel (pg. 11). In the article, an UMSU Office Bearer stated, “The University used to run ten counselling sessions, but now it has dropped down to six.” We have since been advised that this is false. Furthermore, the Officer Bearers said, “We recently […]

 
Empty Empire

He looked down at the vast valley below him, at the tops of the trees that were smudged grey and purple in the fading light.

 
Vincent

There will be another starry night.

 
Morning

Her message box is empty. She stares at the blinking cursor for a long time. Then she types: Poem for a Boy I Don’t Know.

 
March

we are a family of paper dolls

 
Liminal

Do you think it’ll hurt?

 
The Time I Got Tipsy With Ronny Chieng

It’s February. It’s 35 degrees. I’m sitting in a bar with Daily Show Correspondent, Ronny Chieng. We both have gin and tonics in our hands. Ronny is in a nicely done up suit, his hair is slick, his wit destructive. Everything about Ronny reeks of hilarity. Ronny studied a Bachelor of Law/Commerce at the University […]

 
Part Four: Wake Me Up Before You Row, Ro

“Is that… is that Tony Abbott?”

 
No Toilet Paper for Dirty Men

There was a ‘toilet etiquette’ poster on the stall door, below the hook where he’d hung his holster and pistol. He would have used the poster, if it wasn’t covered in various colours of bubblegum.

 
Babel

It should be fine, I think.

 
Farrago Media to Cut Jobs and Employ Bots

Three quarters of the Farrago editorial team will be replaced by a team of bots as part of an overhaul to the University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU’s) funding.

 
Access Denied

The University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU)Education (Academic) Department is lobbying the University for a fairer lecture recording policy.

 
The Secret Lives of Fruits and Vegetables

A banana is prone to bumps and bruises.

 
Binary-ocracy

Gender diverse students at the University of Melbourne may not be able to receive Youth Allowance payments to which they are entitled from Centrelink because of their identity.

 
A Balancing Act

More parents with young children are taking advantage of the opportunity to continue or return to their studies.

 
BS at the MBS?

Students from the Master of Management (Marketing) at the Melbourne Business School (MBS) are questioning whether their course is worth the cost.

 
The Mother Isn’t the Problem

Continued from ‘The Boy in the Marigolds’.

 
Swept Away

Students at the University of Melbourne’s Burnley campus are outraged over the cancellation of the Associate Degree in Urban Horticulture (ADUH), a degree offered solely at Burnley, from 2018.

 
Swerf to Avoid

CONTENT WARNINGS: transphobia, sex work discrimination and slurs

 
For & Against: Sci-Fi

FOR BY JEFFREY PULLIN Science fiction opens a portal through which we can glimpse the previously unimaginable. It shows us both fantastical worlds, and futures that we can strive towards. Without science fiction humanity would be cut off from the boundless possibilities of both the future, and the here and now. Science fiction has the […]

 
Max and Maureen and Everyone in Between

I wasn’t around when Max was a pup, but there’s a photograph of him and my grandmother Maureen up on the fridge. Max is small and spotty with floppy ears and sits on Nana’s lap. Nana’s eyes crinkle at the corners. The picture was taken when Nana and Pop drove their caravan from Adelaide all the way to Kununurra to visit, Mum says.

 
Pigs With Dental Problems

In the forest of the Indonesian island of Sulawesi lives a creature that has inspired artworks and folk tales for thousands of years (and a range of tacky souvenirs). Traditional demonic masks incorporate this forest-dweller’s menacing tusks into their design, terrifying generations of small children – including me. My grandfather was gifted one of these masks while working in Indonesia, and he proudly displayed it above the mantelpiece on the second floor. For years, I was too scared to

 
Zero Waste

You know those times your grandparents start ranting about how everything was so incredibly superior back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth? Well this time, they might be right. The Zero Waste Movement harks back to the days before individually wrapped fruit slices and floating plastic lined our oceans, encouraging a lifestyle where as little as possible ends up in your bin.

 
Desert Dreaming

It was one of my first weeks as a volunteer in the desert eco-village of Lotan, as the relentless sun scorched onto my tanned shoulders and I was 20 metres up a date palm, up to my elbows sorting sticky, squashed dates. It was 2 pm, nearly time to climb onto the tractor that would take us back for a hearty lunch of three different types of pasta, two types of tomato sauce and one type of salad: Israeli salad. The other volunteers and I were participating in the usual end of work banter, until

 
Inside the Wikipedia Community

I’d always viewed Wikipedia as a bit like the pyramids: a mostly unexplained monument of mankind and something that’s just there, drawing in millions of visitors. This status, as a contemporary wonder of the world, is curious at the least. Wikipedia hosts nearly 5.5 million articles in English and millions of articles in a host […]

 
The Real Worlds

Reality television is supposed to be real. That’s the appeal, after all. Reality television involves real people in real situations with real voices making real confessionals to real cameras for real reasons. It’s a hyper-real environment, and yet. There’s a lot of flak coming for reality television, and often. Because hyper-reality is sometimes interpreted as […]

 
Fodder Jams

It was a great exercise of reflection to try and pinpoint one record that greatly influenced my trajectory in life. It also proved the power that music has over my emotions, thought processes and overall satisfaction. As such, I posed the challenge to my colleagues at Radio Fodder – I asked them to choose one album that has been greatly influential for them. Whether that be in terms of constructing music taste, soundtracking a pivotal moment in their lives, shaping their Radio Fodder show o

 
Wearing Out The Planet

“That top, it’s fantastic,” was the first thing the barista said to me when I entered the Brunswick café – the type of place where The Smiths mellow the crate-furnished, many-a-pot-plant matchbox of a room. “Thank you,” I replied, but really, I was thanking Savers. My oversized T-shirt, a gem of a garment featuring a trio of (stoned, I like to believe) cats playing jazz before a full moon was only three dollars from the recycle superstore – a true bargain for such a masterpiece

 
Just Say Yes (To Drug Reforms)

Three people died and a further 20 were hospitalised after ingesting a synthetic substance in January. All of the victims were under the impression that they were buying crystal MDMA from their respective dealers. However, the batch of caps doing the rounds at Revolver, and other Chapel Street venues, were in fact, filled with the potentially lethal synthetic drug 25C-NBOMe.

 
How To Deck Out Your Uni Pad For Free

Have you, like me, been staring longingly at aesthetic loft and bedroom pictures on Instagram and Tumblr? Have you wished for unlimited funds to afford an Ikea shopping spree when realistically, you are wondering if you can even afford a bed frame? The costs associated with having a nice home – or fully functioning appliances […]

 
The Parkville Push-bike

There is a Push-Bike that’s not owned by anybody. It looks like the other push-bikes people pedal around campus, but it’s different.

 
Student in Baillieu Library Sleeps for Record Breaking 154 Hours

First year Commerce student, Michael Murphey, has amazed Baillieu library staff by becoming the first student to sleep in the library for over 154 hours during an academic week.

 
The Co-op Stand-off

Inside the Co-op Bookshop’s AGM

 
Cadmus, Again

Cadmus, a Google Docs style software designed to target plagiarism, is undergoing further trials at the University of Melbourne this semester.

 
Bad Banks

The University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) Environment Department has raised concern over club funds being invested in banks tied to the fossil fuel industry.

 
Below The Line

Students from a number of Masters degrees at the University of Melbourne are ineligible for financial support through Centrelink, adding to the financial distress faced by many university students.

 
Glitter, Groovin the Moo and figuring it out together

Glitter of all colours whirling through the air. Crushed cans of Somersby sprawled across grass. Pupils so large there aren’t any irises left. A sea of sticky bodies moving together like a pulsing wave. There’s only one context in which these images are deemed natural. Groovin the Moo is one of Australia’s most beloved travelling […]

 
What does the 2017 budget mean for housing affordability?

Will this year’s budget help young people crack into the housing market?

 
A Ho-Hum’s Rant*

*A FAINTLY TALENTED AMATEUR’S PERCEPTIONS OF FITTING INTO AN ARTISTIC COMMUNITY

 
Frogmouth

Alighted on Eucalypt, the evening breeze ruffles his feathers and tussles the rusting wind chime.

 
Goldfish

I was the one person who saw the life beyond this house’s tired façade. From my desk, peering into the house next door, it was impossible to miss the flashes of frantic life that streaked past my windowpane.

 
Fruit Gathering

If I was a hunter and you were the moon.

 
I Think the Stars are Screaming

I think the stars are screaming honey.

 
Horror Films

Naked brains in public cinema.

 
Part Three: Flower Power

Before I could reply there was some sort of battle cry and a horde of figures came running down the plains. They took advantage of our confusion and circled us, pointing sharpened sticks at our flesh.

 
No Such Thing As An Eaglehawk

Solomon Delaware Daley was born wide-eyed and completely silent.

 
My New Friend

Today I bought silver hoop earrings to be like my new friend.

 
For & Against: Friends

FOR: FRIENDS Words by Caleb Triscari The fact that I have to argue a pro-friends stance is absurd, but I’ll play along. As someone with the “emotional range of a teaspoon” (Rowling, 2003), friends play an important role as the decoders of my many uninterpretable attitudes. I get the warm and fuzzies when a pal […]

 
Op-Ed: By university standards, the coalition gets a fail grade

Students like myself are taught to keenly detect bullshit.

 
Give us a fair go, Fairfax

How can journalism continue to hold a place in our democracy if some of our biggest media employers continue to cut jobs?

 
Higher education reforms: an explainer

While they’re not quite the 25% cuts feared by some, these policies are attracting criticism for unfairly impacting students.

 
Shari’a and Me

When Senator Jacqui Lambie said on Q&A, “Anyone that supports Shari’a Law should be deported,” there were cheers from her Australian audience. But how many people understand how Muslims see Shari’a and how they practice it? As a non-Muslim majoring in Islamic Studies, I have seen through the lives of my practicing friends and through […]

 
In Memoriam

CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE For a while, I believed in the Viking funeral myth, the one where they supposedly take the deceased and lay their body on a ship, set it sail and then the tribes shoot flaming arrows at the ship as it sails off into the distance., shooting their arrows with incredible, […]

 
Dear Kevin

Content Warning: self harm, homophobia in religious institutions Dear Kevin, I was six when I first entered your church. We’d never gone regularly back in England, but we’d been invited by someone’s mum from school and it was – without irony – my mother’s saving grace. We suddenly had a new family, my mum stopped […]

 
Soldiers in Petticoats

‘From Kensington to Billingsgate  One hears the restless cries! From ev’ry corner of the land: “Womankind, arise!” Political equality and equal rights with men! Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!’ ‘Sister Suffragette’, from Mary Poppins When I watched Mary Poppins as a child, these lyrics went completely over my head. […]

 
Peek A Boo

“It was only a movie”, you assure yourself as the credits roll. But then…what was that sound? You could’ve sworn you just saw a…no, it couldn’t be. It was only a bump in the night. But you can’t seem to shake the feeling that it almost sounded like footsteps. Ghost stories are often brushed aside […]

 
Starstruck

Ah, astrology. The Earth spins, the planets shift and darkened skies tell me that today, a friendship could develop into something more. Regardless of whether you’ve ever cared about horoscopes, you’re almost certainly aware of your star sign and quite possibly know the personality traits it has lumped you with. You can’t help it if […]

 
Interview: Creators of ‘The Days In Between’

CONTENT WARNINGS: trauma, sexual assault.

Madeleine Johnson interviews Sara Laurena [writer], Karla Livingstone-Pardy [director] and Freya McGrath [producer] of Four Letter Word Theatre’s ‘The Days In Between’.

 
No Returns, No Refunds, No Exchange

I have always wanted to travel. When I was younger, my “when I grow up I want to be” answer went from astronaut to explorer to a foreign correspondent. Just your average six-year-old stuff. I had heard lots of stories about friends that went on exchange. They came back with wild eyes and insane stories. […]

 
The Night Market

From a student-run Haunted House to camel rides, UMSU International’s annual Night Markets attracts a popular following with students with well over 7000 attending every year. The 2017 Night Market saw 19 clubs and societies prepare stalls that offered food, games and drawing as well as performances from dance ensembles to dynamic duo teams. The […]

 
Review – An Evening of Total BS

Everyone knows a girl like Bec Somers. She’s that always-enthusiastic, painfully-shallow girl who won’t stop bragging about being toned, vegan and gluten-free. Melissa Tracina, under the direction of Tim McDonald, adopts the persona of Bec Somers – ‘a wellness coach, health blogger, nutritionist, naturopath, and nutritiopath.’ The show parodies the often ridiculous and unrealistic nature […]

 
Interview: Rhys Nicholson

Rhys is known for his incredible wit on stage, as well as his candy-coloured hair and curved cheek bones. Nominated for Best Show at last year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Rhys’ show this year is called I’m Fine – which is symbolic of Rhys not wanting “people to expect so much”. However, having seen Rhys’ show […]

 
Review – Sammy J: Hero Complex

Sammy J’s new solo show Hero Complex is an assured, hilarious romp through the barely believable coincidences of Sammy’s life. The story – a blend of thriller and coming of age – focuses on Sammy’s love of the Phantom, beginning with the start of a friendship between Sammy and his school gardener and ending with […]

 
Review – Lawrence Mooney: Like Literally

Comedians are going through a tough time. I can’t help feel that the nature of comedy is threatened as many comedians are tempted to tone down their material, so as not to offend anyone in the crowd. Lawrence Mooney doesn’t think like that. Quite simply, the middle-aged Aussie just doesn’t care if he offends anyone. […]

 
Review – Becky Lucas: Little Bitch

The first time I saw self-confessed “weird kid” Becky Lucas perform, she joked about pashing her mum as a youngster to a humble little audience at Sydney’s own Comedy Store. Now as one of Australian comedy’s freshest faces, she hits the big stage at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF), blurring lines between comedy and […]

 
Onsra

it is not your fault not your fault.

 
Come to Dinner

“Come to dinner,” she’d said.

 
Review – Aunty Donna: Big Boys

Despite having seen them before, I had no idea what I was in for when I walked (down many, many stairs) into Aunty Donna’s newest show, Big Boys. My friend and I were forced to cease chatting almost immediately as we entered a room filled with smoke, flashing red lights and really fucking loud music. […]

 
Review: Best Before Breakfast

The show quickly becomes an excursion into the inexhaustible enthusiasm that these two comics share.

 
Students and board members stand off at Co-op AGM

Footage obtained by Farrago shows students demanding answers from National Secretary Talal Yassine.

 
Review: My Feet Are Hungry

Released in 2014 and marking author Chris Wallace-Crabbe’s eightieth birthday, My Feet Are Hungry could have easily been underwhelming and less astute than his earlier works. But even at the release of his twenty-fourth collection of poetry, Wallace-Crabbe has managed to retain his wit and skill. His work seems fresh: intelligent and thought-provoking as always, […]

 
Interview: Cal Wilson

I meet Cal in the Union House foyer. Straight way, I pick her out of a crowd of students. It might be her bubbly aura but it’s probably just her colourful hair. Cal’s ontiguous smile greets me and we head up to the studio. I become increasingly nervous in the elevator, as we go from […]

 
Review – Daniel Kitson: Not Yet But Soon

Daniel Kitson is a bearded man from Yorkshire. He has huge, thick glasses that move around and add an extra range of expression to his face, like a pianist with another two fingers. The first thing he does when I see his new show, Not Yet But Soon, is apologise for starting 20 minutes late. […]

 
Review – Laura Davis: Cake in the Rain

I’d love to pretend this review is objective, but that would be lying. I’ve been a huge fan of Laura Davis’ since her show Ghost Machine, at the 2015 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. I was in a fairly dark place at the time and attended the show more for a distraction than anything else. But by […]

 
Peachy

I run home, which hurts my bladder.

 
Fiona

And eventually Fiona got so good at keeping still that tiny asteroids started mistaking her for a small planet.

 
The Passenger

We slip into the yawning nothing and she promises me that things are about to get freaky.

 
Eternal Darkness of the Vengeful Mind

God, I want to eat Leonardo DiCaprio’s face.

 
Cleaner, Oh Glorious

A testament to the industry and luxury that we have cultivated for generations. A nexus of beauty, purpose, and above all accessibility to one and all.

 
Kids Today

As a lad, the only game we ever concerned ourselves with was the game of life.

 
Part Two: Tinder Surprise

This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a – lol jks it will end with us banging.

 
Bees

I think I worked it out – why I admire and fear bees so much.

 
Delicate Treats

A soul dances.

 
Flushed Away

Whether you’re a freshly minted first year or in the depths of a PhD, the University of Melbourne’s toilets are spaces where students are able to release their tears, as well as their bowels. The assortment of toilets at the University’s various campuses ensure that wherever you are, the comfort of a cubicle is never […]

 
My Name Is Not Emily

I used to work part-time as a waitress in a place where customers questioned my identity. My time there has become extremely quotable, and one I take advantage of whenever people ask if ‘Emily’ would like to change her mobile provider, or if ‘Emily’ can do the dishes tonight. Mum, the customer is always right – […]

 
The Age of Monsters

There was a time when giants ruled the Earth. I do not mean the muscular figures of mythology. The ones with the raggedy underwear and tree-sized clubs, facing down pint-sized heroes that carry golden swords. I mean real giants, as tall as your house. Giants who roamed the land once and then afterwards left a […]

 
A Sea of Isolation

It is cold. The sky is endlessly grey, and light snow falls lazily, catching on the cuffs of my jacket. A few scattered mounds of scuffed ice cling to the pavement. I tuck my chin into my chest, ducking my head against the bitter wind that weaves between the buildings of a restored city. I […]

 
Little Red Scars

CONTENT WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, SELF HARM As a child, I remember sneaking into my parents’ storage closet to look at piles and piles of documents and photos. What I didn’t know then was that among all of those forgotten memories sat a family heirloom that held generations of pain and trauma. They were a pair of […]

 
I Ate My Twin in the Womb

As a child, the highlight of every trip to the Melbourne Aquarium was the ‘oceanarium’ – a 2.2 million litre tank encircling the viewing space. It was a magical experience being immersed in the watery world of its marine inhabitants, with bright coral climbing up the sides, stingrays gliding above and fish of every hue […]

 
Review – Mudcrabs: The Box Set

Do yourself a favour: take a punt and go and see this show.

 
David Unnerving

CONTENT WARNING: HOLOCAUST DENIAL Two years ago, the wind symphony at Northcote High, my high school, performed an impressionistic piece based on the 1945 Bombing of Dresden. It was jarring, atonal and harrowing – representing one of World War II’s most brutal events, where German civilians were slaughtered vengefully and indiscriminately by the Allies. To […]

 
Decree 770

CONTENT WARNINGS: ABORTION, MATERNAL DEATH Following the overthrow of Romanian dictator, Nicolae Ceau?escu, harrowing footage of overflowing state-run institutions for abandoned children shook the world. These frightened and severely neglected children were the product of a society who were forced to live with harsh pro-natalist policies. Romania’s suppression of abortion rights under Nicolae Ceau?escu’s leadership is […]

 
The ShitRedditSays Community

CONTENT WARNINGS: SEXUAL ASSAULT, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, They are one of the most hated communities on Reddit and, consequently, the internet. Whenever another Reddit community is banned, users cry out talking of double standards. What’s more, they are frequently compared to these banned communitiess, such as a forum to denigrate the overweight and a hub for […]

 
Tips & Tricks to Becoming a Modern, 21st Century Woman

  WORSHIP SATAN Converting to Satanism is a fantastic way to prepare yourself for your journey to becoming a modern woman. Other religions are way too mainstream. Just don’t forget to shower yourself in pig’s blood every night. DATE SOMEONE INTERESTING Formulating a relationship with a man is overrated. Take your  dog on a date instead! […]

 
Stand Up For What

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival makes the air taste sweeter. The whole city seems to wobble with laughter as summer yawns its way into the colder months. It’s a good belly laugh. One that stretches the rib cage, chisels a six-pack or turns a bad day good. It’s a requisite for all of us in […]

 
Neglected Time

Julius Caesar was stabbed twenty-three times before he met his death. A later autopsy showed only one of the wounds had been fatal. Many of you may be able to relate to old Brutus and his pals. It’s this kind of irrational overcompensation that leads to a feeling of wasted study time after sitting a […]

 
Interview: Anne Edmonds

When Anne Edmonds first performed stand-up comedy she had a “light-bulb moment,” where the rush of the crowd laughing ignited her passion to make a career out of it. Since she was a student at The University of Melbourne, Anne has featured on TV shows such as Have You Been Paying Attention and Fancy Boy, […]

 
Interview: Sami Shah

Sami Shah was the first person in Pakistan to perform a one-hour stand-up comedy show. Incredibly, it was Sami’s first time doing stand-up. “If it had of gone badly, I would never have done it again,” Sami says. We’re all blessed that his Pakistani audience took such a shining to him. A remarkable tale of […]

 
Burnt out

“These students will be discriminated against because of their circumstances.”

 
Empty rhetoric

Indigenous staff members were surprised to find that references to Indigenous employment targets have been removed from a proposed new version of a staff agreement.

 
Overworked and underpaid

The exploitation of student workers could be rife in Union House.

 
Home System 2

Each edition of Farrago will contain a part of ‘Home System’. Tear out the perforated page, collect and piece together all eight.

 
Home System 1

Each edition of Farrago will contain a part of ‘Home System’. Tear out the perforated page, collect and piece together all eight.

 
Interview: Susie Youssef

Near crippling anxiety isn’t usually a trait many would ascribe to a successful comedian.

 
The Boy In The Marigolds

From a very young age, I understood the difference between good and bad.

 
Students booted out of introductory economics subject

228 students have been withdrawn from Introductory Microeconomics after the recently implemented enrolment quota was exceeded.

 
Sneaky Fees

Students will be welcomed into 2017 with increases to graduation, child care and student card replacement fees.

 
Red and White

river or rivers?

 
No Secrets In This Reign

After eternity, will you find me?

 
Jesus on Hold

“You are to me what salt is to wounds”.

 
Pink

Pink flowers grow in the front lawn.

 
Part One: The Sacking of YOMG

Canned soup, canned asparagus, canned spaghetti, canned – ohmygod tampons.

 
Mind The Gap

Students travelling to and from the University of Melbourne may face transport and infrastructure disruptions this year as work starts on the new Parkville train station.

 
All Systems Go

System Garden has already shrunk to a quarter of its original size since its inception in 1856.

 
Timetabling Drama

Could auto-timetabling be in UniMelb’s future?

 
Over-Hall

The University of Melbourne’s Richard Berry building has been renamed to the Peter Hall building in an effort to create a more inclusive campus environment.

 
SummerFest Week One: A Recap in Photos

The best from week one of O Week’s giant orientation event.

 
Staff Chaperone Orientation Camps

Welfare Advisers will monitor O Camps this year.

 
Oh The Horror!

From humble beginnings as an entry into a 2009 Photoshop contest, the phenomenon of the Slender Man has exploded across social media as one of the most well-known monsters to be produced by Internet meme culture. He became the inspiration for fan art, horror stories, movies and videos, a soon-to-be-released HBO documentary, and a series […]

 
Berlin Nights

We knew the mythology long before we arrived. Different. Cool. Alternative. Long has Berlin prided itself on being the home of subcultures, a place where alternative types can find their niche and wear it proudly. Add in a healthy dose of post-teen hedonism and an infamous clubbing scene, and it sounded like a perfect place […]

 
The Tourist Bubble

During the mid-year break I made the spontaneous decision to take a solo overseas trip to Russia. As a history major, Russia provided me the same level of excitement as a weeklong pub crawl would for any regular 22-year-old. Interestingly, not everyone shared my enthusiasm. The response from my family and friends was one of […]

 
SCIENTOLOGY 101

Visiting Melbourne’s Church of Scientology is like being trapped in a terrible PowerPoint. Forced to endure a series of gaudy videos, inspirational quotes and strange hovering symbols. You are shuffled along with alarming speed, when you just want to stop and take a closer look at the tacky mess that surrounds you. Then, you’re hurried […]

 
Baroque Fever

Melbourne’s own Federation Square has been labelled an eyesore, had calls for its demolition, and been named one of the world’s ugliest buildings – however, casting an eye over to Skopje’s latest major project reveals that the Macedonian capital may yet offer some serious competition for this rather dishonourable honour. The ruling Internal Macedonian Revolutionary […]

 
The Human Factor

CONTENT WARNINGS: PANIC ATTACKS & ANXIETY INDUCED DISSOCIATION What makes us human? What is the elusive gossamer threading our brain to our personality? A few weeks ago, I found out I was allergic to the anti-nausea agent Maxalon. I only took it to relieve a mild tummy ache, but what it caused was far worse. […]

 
Total Recall

When you heard the news about the new Spider-Man movie you probably thought: Seriously? Another one? Do they not know movies to make anymore? The notion that Hollywood is running out of new, original ideas is not a new one. Adaptations, reboots or remakes are all the movie industry seems to be churning out these […]

 
Problem Nannas

My Nan is great. I love her to pieces; we catch up about once a fortnight. But she’s 65 and, frankly, has always been a little racist. A couple of weeks ago, we got lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant in Footscray. Afterwards, we proceeded to walk down Nicholson Street, observing all the people of different […]

 
It Takes A Village

On the front porch of a run-down house in Austin, Texas, in the dim light of a single bare bulb, a boy picks me up without warning, sweeping me off my feet. I shriek and laugh, clinging to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I have always hated being picked up. Never trusted anyone […]

 
Review: Gender and Allegory in the Alchemist

To say that The Alchemist (1988) is popular would be an understatement. The jacket of my copy proclaims that Paulo Coelho’s novel has sold 65 million copies worldwide “touching the minds and hearts of his readers”. I think the reason it’s so successful is its combination of a simple narrative and concealed allegorical meaning. The […]

 
Review: Passenger 25/1/17

In the last week of January, thousands came together to see Passenger perform his one and only Melbourne show at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl. The weather was on its best behaviour for the outdoor event, and the grounds were covered by those of all ages and backgrounds. Kids were rolling down the hill while […]

 
The Divestment Dilemma

The University offers no promises to break investment ties with the 21 fossil fuel companies which are listed on the Carbon Underground 200 ranking

 
EDITION 5 SUBMISSIONS NOW OPEN

Winter is well and truly here, so there’s never been a better time to rug up and get creative. With the rain and the wind storming outside, send us the writing and art filigreed by your frost-bitten fingers for Edition Five of Farrago. By the end of it all, you’ll have something to warm your […]

 
OPINION: NatCon is desperately in need of reform

I have one more article to write about NatCon for Farrago, but for now I’m going to jot down some thoughts.

 
NatCon Day One: Some numbers and predictions

      The National Union of Students’ National Conference (NatCon) kicked off a few hours ago in Geelong. To the left is a list of delegates. Each rectangle represents a person. There are 126 people and 2097 votes among them. The size of the rectangle shows how many votes that person has. They have […]

 
Myers named as new University Chancellor

Prominent businessman and University of Melbourne fundraising campaign chair Allan Myers will be the university’s new Chancellor

 
University Proposes New Wave of Staff Cuts

Staff in academic and professional departments have been notified of another wave of cuts at the University of Melbourne.

 
The Deceit Behind Cram Schools

With the red pen crossing out the previous marks, grades were changed and fails became passes.

 
The Art of Banksy Review

Banksy has proved to be one of the most mystifying and controversial street artists of our time, covering urban spaces with his satirical art worldwide. While some may consider the hooded man a criminal, violating public space with his blunt messages, others view him as an artistic mastermind who found a way to make people […]

 
College Dropout

At the University of Melbourne, 7.5 per cent of all first-year students leave their courses.

 
More Than Just a Meal

In a society where this issue has previously divided and angered people, the plight of asylum seekers has now become a vague sing-song in our ears.

 
Rio & Evie #7

Snapshots of Rio & Evie’s space adventure.

 
Rio & Evie #8

And they lived happily ever after

 
In Defense of Pop Culture

A defining aspect of pop culture is its ability to reach a large audience – and it is in this ability that pop culture is so powerful.

 
R G B

Photography from Daena Teng

 
Back to the Future of Cult in the Streaming Age

Cult reviews, adapted for 2016.

 
Office Bearer Reports (Edition 8, 2016)

The final Office Bearer reports for 2016.

 
Notes on a Blissful Bus Ride

“The way she is sitting in front of me, her head sitting softly against the bus window, seems so blissful.”

 
Number 363: The Notes Themselves

We’ve all read the notes and now we see the real world.

 
AUSTRALIARK

Gareth Cox-Martin taps into Australia’s potential.

 
Auction on College Crescent

A heartbroken Whitley College student reflects on the sale of her beloved home.

 
Anthropological Notes on Summoning a Sex Demon

Objective reality? Sam Nelson has no need for that.

 
The Future of Music

Online streaming services are evidently an inextricable part of tomorrow’s music scene but its impact on music revenue is clearly negative.

 
Anonymous Till

do you name your nature’s wealth?

 
A Modern Proposal

With the imminent departure of Union House, what will happen to student services? Kye-Lee Cheong investigates.

 
Hasta La Visa

Paloma Herrera and the golden ticket.

 
Sixth Date

The night before we last met, I pulled Kodak packets from under my parents’ bed to leaf through sea-green garden parties with faded lipstick reds, & saw my mother’s young face mimic mine in grinning topographic skin. London summer evenings got dark at ten. I’d watch shadow assemblies under deciduous leaves proclaim Proudhon’s night-time parade […]

 
Enlisting and Encrypting

Shona Warren explores the world of killer bytes.

 
Do Our Brains Create Consciousness?

Thiashya is back answering another big question in science. This time, she explains whether our brains create consciousness.

 
Plans For The Future

I’ve always thought I’d go out with a bang, an instant explosion of glitter and broken bones, vengeful gun against my powdered temple, collision of lust and late night rage. I’ve always thought I’d die in a car crash, a crépe paper crunch through a red light, tragic newscast so unknown mothers cry, one less […]

 
People Need Houses

An insider’s look into the Bendigo Street occupation.

 
Death Indiscriminate of Ladies or Gents

I just saw a spider in the corner of my room It was scrunched up In a form of self-inflicted suffering In order to beg innocence So I blew on it just to make sure And saw its performance cease I grabbed a tissue box, within proximity, withdrew: Four pieces As one might four hundred […]

 
Dating Advice From The Bachelor(ette)

Winter is over. It’s time to put away the onesie and venture outside into the dating pool.

 
Hairbrush

A poem by Belinda Lea Bhatia about the day of a hairbush.

 
Family Hawaiian

Scott learns how to be a better friend.

 
Stalemate

A poem by anonymous that is expressing frustration and heartbreak.

 
Counsel In Couplets

I’m leaving my boyfriend to go on exchange. What the hell do I do?

 
Brought To You By Your SSAF

Jesse Paris-Jourdan breaks down where your money is going.

 
Windowsill

Three cups warming sweetly in retirement (harbouring, respectively, coffee, orange slices, and lemonade) Cat-hair curlicues catching sunlight casting shadow-flecks on old white paint. Impossible to categorise the feeling of late July on the finger-tips.  

 
White Noise

You switch on the TV. White, White and more White. It’s as though Australian TV is awash with White faces.

 
MORE! Politics

MORE! has become the new leading party for UMSU

 
Matches

Short stories by Emily Paesler

 
Lamp

Short stories by Emily Paesler

 
K+B+M 2010

I’ll leave my bones behind to pry you from His greedy hands and greet you again, with greedy hands of my own.

 
Have Dictionary, Will Travel

If you’re in need of an escape from the familiarity of Melbourne and your regular university routine, there are few greater undertakings than an international exchange program. Having recently returned from a year-long stint in Tokyo myself, I can confirm that across the sea you are treated differently, the food is often unappealing and your […]

 
The Census Fail

Had the public been provided with an informed rationale explaining why the step was necessary, and the assurance their data would be safe, perhaps the whole ordeal could have been avoided.

 
Explosive Innovation

Sheri Lohardjo explores the latest partnership between the University and a military defence company.

 
MUSUL To Face Significant Changes and Staff Cuts

Substantial changes to MUSUL may include cuts to staffing and eventual closure.

 
The Beatles: Eight Days a Weeks – The Touring Year

These messy human relationships and complicated associations with the world are what set The Beatles apart from the other boybands

 
When Grown Adults Moshed to The Wiggles – their 18+ Reunion Show Review

On 9 September, the original Wiggles – Greg, Anthony, Murray and Jeff, as well as Captain Feathersword – brought their timeless songs to The Croxton in Melbourne for a one-night-only 18+ reunion show.

 
Bushwalkie

Fifi Fontaine de Vermouth solves another mystery.

 
The Door

I enter the room, then the room enters me. And I disappear.

 
The Best of Both Worlds

I resonated with Hannah Montana because I too was balancing two conflicting polar identities. Miley would always say “I’m Hannah Montana” and in this article, I’m saying “I’m gay and Asian”.

 
Something is Approshing

What the fuck is prosh?

 
 
Paid In Experience

There’s a difference between genuinely learning in a work environment and simply doing outsourced grunt work for a company’s private benefit.

 
The Feminine Critique: Diversity Part 1

As a white, able-bodied, heterosexual western woman, I remain the most privileged type of woman to benefit from feminism.

 
OB Reports (Edition 7)

Office Bearer Reports for Edition 7

 
Our Zones of Suffering

It would be nice to look out at our oceans and know that those glassy blue seas were not the sites of crimes, behind razor wire, perpetrated in our name.

 
Trash Mansion

“New Zealand is a conspiracy!”

 
Don’t Let Your Dreams be Dreams

And strictly no memes either.

 
Change in the New Climate

What is the greatest barrier facing the new parliament?

 
Breaking In and Out of Lives

Before my wealthy grandparents died…

 
Beer Not Books (or, the Unco-operative Bookshop)

A Farrago report reveals the lie behind the name.

 
Hiding in Paid Sight

Picture this: A media ecosystem so rife with corruption that audiences cannot distinguish truth from bias.

 
Ghibli’s Moving Pictures

Reilly Sullivan celebrates 30 years of Miyazaki’s productions.

 
Freaks and Tweaks: Moral Censorship in Pre-Code Hollywood

Lotte Ward reviews Tod Browning’s Freaks.

 
Fossil Free Forum

On 8 August, students were invited to have their say on how they believe the University is addressing its environmental impact.

 
Employee of the Month

Patricia was just about to ask if he had a Rewards Card when the man pulled out a gun.

 
That One Chariot Scene: <i>Ben-Hur</i> Review

It was all a build up very much akin to the “bass drop” of brostep.

 
The Dax Centre

The Dax Center destigmatises the experiences of the mentally ill and promotes positive mental health and wellness for us all.

 
Number 206: The Glade

How to describe Maude Wakefield? ‘Legend’ is the word many have used…

 
The Future of Education

Who should we, in the time-honoured tradition of poorly performing students, lean across the desk and copy the answers from?

 
Flash Fiction: Unreliable Narrator

A Tale From Two Sides.

 
Aliens, Abs, Anti-Capitalism: <i>They Live</i> and the Cult of the Conspiracy ‘Documentary’

They Live is a decidedly heavy-handed take on consumerism and conformity – you can feel the likes of Banksy and Shepard Fairey milking it for inspiration

 
In Defense of <i>500 Days of Summer</i>

Is it pretentious? Yes, but for good reason.

 
Advance

As I drive to you, high beams burning…

 
Turn Out For What?

Yasmin Jarkan on the issues with current democracy.

 
Why Are Some People Ticklish?

Thiashya Jayasekera presents a column about the big questions in science. This edition is all about why some people are ticklish.

 
Not Gr8 M8: Go8

Mary Ntalianis on flagging support for flagships.

 
Matcha Do About Nothing?

Hania Syed tastes an emerging trend.

 
Wall of Bros

Mary Ntalianis on metal’s barrier to entry.

 
Number 230: The Ghost Horses

James Macaronas is back with his column “Notes from the weird side”. This edition, ghost horses.

 
Like Likes To Like Like

A short story by Kangli Hu.

 
Little Death

A poem by Hayley Franklin.

 
Saturday Afternoon

A poem by Cormac O’Brien Kirkby.

 
Caleb Is A Nerd

Caleb is a nerd. <div class=”pullright”><span class=”quote”>Caleb is a nerd.</span></div> Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd.Caleb is a nerd. Caleb is […]

 
The Future of Religion

People increasingly form their own independent interpretations of scripture, picking and choosing what aspects of religion they agree with based on their social context and the prevailing cultural zeitgeist.

 
Why Do We Get Deja-Vu?

Why do we get Deja-Vu? Are we really seeing the future? Science (Thiashya Jayasekera) finally explains.

 
Tony Abbott and Your Sex Life

Ever wondered about the politics of sex or perhaps wondered about politics during sex? Simone shares her political sex life stories.

 
The Feminine Critique: Women in Sport

Adriane Reardon gives us a critique of women in sport, and the importance of encouraging girls of all ages.

 
Passing Notes

Have you or your friends ever considered giving up on notebooks and just buying your notes? Bella Barker explores the world of passing notes.

 
Facing the Music

A new conservatorium for the music faculty at the Univeristy of Melbourne to be built by 2019

 
Equal Representation

Paloma Herrera gives a recap of the people of colour conference.

 
Capped Placements

The Group of Eight (Go8) universities have called on the Federal Government to impose a limit on undergraduate placements due to difficulty finding funding for influx of students.

 
Office Bearer Reports (Edition 6, 2016)

Reports from the UMSU Office Bearers.

 
Going Green With Envy

A comparison of universities’ sustainability initiatives.

 
Garden Shoplifting

Getting ingredients from your front yard.

 
Failure to Respond

A lament on the epidemic of sexual assault in universities.

 
Counsel in Couplets: Jealousy

Nick Parkinson presents: A column of poetic problem solving.

 
A Stimulating Story

A tale of sex toys that will leave you in hysterics.

 
Titanic Today

The ship, the myth, the metaphor.

 
The ‘Other’ Vampire

Ella Shi interviews Farrago artist Reimena Yee.

 
Based On The Bard: The Original Cult Connoisseur, Constantly Adapting

Shakespeare: the original cult connoisseur, constantly adapting.

 
Language Swap

After staying up till 2am watching Korean singers from my favourite band, BTS, my sleepy mind latched onto an idea. I should learn Korean.

 
For & Against: The Olympics

Citius, Altius, Fortius?

 
Cocktails For Ex-Lovers

Recipes for when failed romance and Tinder disasters inevitably leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.

 
Button Mashing All My Troubles Away

I need some form of clarity and linearity.

 
Review: <i> Ants on a Shrimp </i> at MIFF

I’m wondering whether the guests enjoyed the food, whether the chefs had any fun after all and why this documentary was made about Noma rather than noma.

 
Meat The Future

Jack Kilbride on the climate of change in the food industry.

 
The Science of Storytelling

Clara on the human instinct to tell stories.

 
XMA

A poem by Amie Green.

 
Toy

A short story by Linus Tolliday.

 
In Defense Of Shrek

Next time you see something to do with “shrek is love, shrek is life” pop up on the Internet, remember what Shrek really represented and what the film series was ultimately about.

 
Static

A short story by Candy James-Zoccoli.

 
Pyromaniac

A poem by Hayley Franklin on the obsession with fire.

 
Cliche

Iryna is back with a poem about wanting a break-up.

 
Flash Fiction: Post-Apocalyptic

The world we know has ended. What next?

 
Rio & Evie #6

Rio & Evie finally embark on their space adventure

 
Rio & Evie #5

Rio stays up with Evie to revise for her exams.

 
Rio & Evie #4

Evie goes to Kaladria and realises how big the universe is

 
Rio & Evie #3

Evie’s sister, Nina, comes home

 
Livin La Vida Latte

Scott is happy, Flora is suss.

 
Mostly Fine with a Chance of Clouds

What’s on Scott’s and Ben’s minds? Flora doesn’t find out.

 
Sexsexsexspaghettisex

Ben has sex. Flora and Scott don’t.

 
Morning People, Mourning People

Flora breaks a cup and throws herself in the trash.

 
BOOSUL Services

Martin Ditmann reports on the latest chapter of the MUSUL saga.

 
Aux Chord Wars

Max PH explains why he doesn’t like your favourite song

 
The 2016 Masterchef Australia Drinking Game

Gather your friends, family and a bottle of your favourite wine, as we celebrate all that we’ve come to love about Masterchef.

 
Welcome, Bambi

Meet the new Indigenous Officer!

 
Melbourne School of Death

The MSD building may be an undeniably beautiful edifice – but what is it like being an Architecture student?

 
The Feminine Critique: Women and Gaming

Adriane Reardon considers sexism amongst online gaming.

 
The Death of the Hobby

Clare Exinger wonders if chilling with the squad counts as a hobby.

 
Stranger Than Fiction

When I was in third grade, I received my first love letter. It was from Timothy Lloyd, a blond haired cherub of fourth grader and the fastest runner in his class. Definitely a catch. The letter was delivered to me by a boy with purple sneakers, because the idea of little Timmy and I communicating […]

 
e-worm

tracing eyelid folds i stick my finger in digit curving round socket i moan; that distorted sound bite of a wound-up pendulum clock ticking like that clicking electric black tic pinned in iris as squirming pupil. the roundness fits tight around finger ligaments coil sucking me in i can’t pull myself out and it aches. […]

 
Counsel in Couplets

How do I let him know that he can’t have a bite of whatever I’m eating without him thinking I don’t love him?

 
Come ACME Bruh

I, Wile E. Coyote, would like to lodge yet another complaint regarding two more of your faulty products.

 
Cold Elbows

My head hurts and is full of cold elbows. There is considerable peace in ignorance but only when you can accept you are a fool and a fool smothered in obscurity like a blanket. I think it is like drowning and the quiet comes only when it is too late. There’s no use in that […]

 
A White Puddle

“Rake it up and you’ll get a treat.”

 
We Ain’t Afraid of No Female Ghostbusters

If you’re pissed off because the new Ghostbusters are women, it’s not because of your loyalty to the original franchise – you just hate women.

 
Why Do We Get Sick In Winter?

But how much truth is there to this old wives’ tale? Can you catch a cold from being cold?

 
The Self Love Club

Annabelle Jarrett spends an afternoon with artist and student, Frances Cannon.

 
The Rope Doesn’t Lie

Daena Teng explores sexuality through Shibari.

 
Night Monsters

A poem by Morgan Hopcroft about the creatures of the dark.

 
My Sweet Pea

An anonymous writer shares her abortion experience.

 
Melbourne Metro

Bec Poynton tells us about our new railway station.

 
How to Prove You’re a Sophisticated Wine Drinker

A poem by Darby Hudson on the signs of fancy alcohol drinking.

 
In Defense of Glee

Felicity never stopped believing in Glee

 
Op Ed: Bourgeois Morality

In most bourgeois circles it is an article of faith that only a monster would buy caged eggs.

 
Women in Comedy: Extended Edition

All women want to do is get out there and do their job without constantly having to justify their existence

 
Not So Lucky: <i>Chasing Asylum</i> Review

It is provoking and will make you uncomfortable but every Australian should watch Chasing Asylum.

 
Sitting outside Standing Room

Sitting outside Standing Room to talk about addiction and dreams.

 
Graduating from Goon

Put away your Fruity Lexia and refine your palate with something a bit more exciting.

 
Prod(app)tivity

Apps can also be a force for good, helping you slay goals and make the most of your time and energy.

 
New GSA Team Announced

Changes to the Graduate Student Association staffing have been announced on 1 June, including newly appointed elected representatives and permanent staff. On the evening of 31 May, the Graduate Student Association Office Bearer elections were held. Sina Khatami and Thomas Whiteside have been re-elected as President and General Secretary respectively. Alongside them are a new team of […]

 
The Queen is Coming: An Interview with Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

Kyary Pamyu Paymu is an experience, that’s all I can say. Hailed as the Lady Gaga of Japan, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu is the reigning queen of J-pop who has taken the world by storm with her energetic pop songs and incomparable creativity. Her music videos can only be described as loveably ridiculous; she frequently rocks […]

 
THE FEMININE CRITIQUE: MALE ALLIES

Adriane Reardon considers male feminists with New Matilda contributor Jack Kilbride and University of Melbourne gender studies lecturer, Joshua Pocius.

 
Red My Lips

Red My Lips was founded to support survivors of sexual violence and to change deep-set cultural beliefs that help to perpetuate that violence.

 
DROWNING SONG

she swallowed the sea to keep her cells alive, my mother, her body of ocean the heavy ocean underneath her skin, and when she opens the lids of her eyes,  it spills from the black pools there inside the space of looking   my mother nearly drowns in her own self she cries instead of […]

 
COCAINE CATAPULT

I watched cocaine fly over the walls of the San Pedro Prison.

 
Interview: Brunga’s Band

They’ve brought their “bit heavier than surfy” sound to various venues across Melbourne.

 
BUTTON MASHING to the voice on the other line

You see, gaming was always my social mediator.

 
BURSTING THE JD BUBBLE

The harsh reality of Unimelb’s golden child, the Juris Doctor.

 
Big Heavy Things

Listen to Jack read “Big Heavy Things”. Eddy wanted to lift big, heavy things. The biggest, heaviest things he could feasibly lift as a human (though even that wasn’t necessary). He’d eat shit if it meant he could bench 500 kilos. Eddy vowed to pledge himself to whatever could help him lift the biggest, heaviest […]

 
Banned Books

I do not like them Sam-I-am, I do not like this censorship and ban.

 
A FOSSIL FREE FUTURE

Over three days, FFMU launched a series of public actions pressuring the University to divest.

 
UMSU SGM Results in Radical Change

The second Special General Meeting of the University of Melbourne Student Union for the semester brought forth significant structural changes to the constitution. Held on 24 May, the successful resolutions at the SGM established new representative departments, committees and affirmative action policies. Removal of the Asterisk in “Wom*n’s” The UMSU Wom*n’s Department will now be known as […]

 
10 Best Eurovision Winners

From flash in the pan divas to enduring pop icons, here are the best Eurovision winners.

 
The Future of Sex

The long-held tradition of rooting each other and suitable lifeless objects will continue for many years to come.

 
House of Cards

A conversation while waiting for coffee at House of Cards

 
You Can Call Me Daddy

Pro: He’s probably not a fuckboy. Con: Someone might mistake him for your literal father.

 
Mercy in the Underground

The door to the farm is up ahead. I creep up the steps and slowly open the hatch above me. I climb through the portal and find myself behind a restaurant. The stale, dusty smell of the city at night replaces the stench of the sewer underneath me, but I am not bothered by the […]

 
Lamenting the Lost Art of the Protest Song

The rise of Bernie Sanders, the upsurge in youthful progressive energy… yet most of today’s musicians are leaving an awkward silence.

 
Shadow

Frosted grass. Rubber feet. An indented path to follow. Head down, eyes up. Violet white above stretches over housetops and the roofs of trees. Air whitens around my face silvers and disappears. Hollowed cheeks smoke a windpipe. A steam train puffs billy­goat forms of pure fingers curl whisk in, and out and into the tiny […]

 
Representing Race

In early 2016, the UMSU Students’ Council passed funding for a People of Colour Collective at the University.

 
Please Don’t Feed the Shark

How to be a responsible tourist.

 
Period Drama

Amelia isn’t talking less about her uterus, and more about Downton Abbey.

 
Is Kanye <i>Kanye?</i>

Is he really that ridiculous or is it all an act?

 
Number 84: The Society

Revolution is like Saturn, it devours its own children. – Danton’s Death, Geörg Buchner

 
New UMSU President

Welcome our new UMSU president!

 
Good Deed Offends

An event for sharing inclusive messages of diversity has been mired in controversy by the defacement of an ANZAC memorial.

 
Flash Fiction: The Butterfly Effect

One moment changes everything.

 
Fake Smile Credit

My real smiles are numbered, each day I run out, and when I run out I dip into fake-smile credit, to pay off that debt I go home and rest my eyes on my cat, while she naps under the TV, taking a few deep breaths.  

 
Eating Clean To The Extreme

The clean eating trend could pave the way for disordered eating.

 
Spot the Difference

Jesse Paris-Jourdan on the breadth of BCOMM changes.

 
The Other Elections

Caleb Triscari preps us on the grad student elections.

 
The Feminine Critique: Women in Comedy

Adriane Reardon considers the place of women in comedy.

 
Unfair & Lovely

Annabelle Jarrett looks at white beauty standards in Asia.

 
Why Do We Sleep?

Whether you see it as a necessary evil or dream of living the burrito life, the question remains: why is it necessary?

 
The Fate of Over-Beloved Bookstores

Stephanie looks into whether bookstores can survive in the modern era.

 
She Made Me Look Twice

Mishell Hernandez on the myth in her mind.

 
Underground, Outer Space

A poem written about Carolyn Huane.

 
In Defense of Minions

Because even minions deserve the benefit of the doubt.

 
On Time Capsules

My uncle built me a bookshelf for my fifth birthday. Huon pine with miniature toadstool carvings, it towered above me and spanned the entire bedroom wall.

 
Review: Men

I picked up Men because the blurb proclaimed it to be an exploration of ‘female desire’. I was expecting irony. I was disappointed.

 
The big ones: health, infrastructure and education

Raising the cost of uni fees will leave graduates with larger debt for longer, and will likely exclude a number attempting to gain higher education.

 
Government Claims It Doesn’t Need To Stick To Budget Because It’s Bulking 

Scott Morrison announced that the government does not need to follow a strict budget this year because it will be bulking

 
Review: The Argonauts

The Argonauts details her experiences of being a step-parent, giving birth and sharing with her partner in their grief after their mother’s death.

 
“Growth in the bottom line” for whom?

Jeremy Nadel weighs in on the 2016 Federal Budget’s finance and economics.

 
A good or bad PaTH for youth employment?

The Turnbull Coalition government’s inaugural budget sees an increase in funding towards youth employment and training.

 
Some shake-up in social services

The Turnbull Coalition government’s Federal Budget argues that unemployment is set to decline.

 
Fee deregulation (mostly) gone; other Higher Ed changes and fee increases considered in new paper

The Turnbull Coalition government has largely scrapped its current plans for fee deregulation, in a 2016 Federal Budget that instead canvasses big potential changes in a new paper. The new government paper, “Driving innovation, fairness and excellence in Australian higher education”, proposes considering everything from partial deregulation to higher student fees. Changes, including an increase […]

 
Sad Grrrls Fest comes to Melbourne!

Sad Grrrls Fest organiser Rachel Maria Cox talks to Farrago about her dream lineup, diversity and gender barriers to music.

 
Tyson Holloway-Clarke Appointed UMSU President

Following the UMSU Students’ Council meeting this morning, Tyson Holloway-Clarke has been elected as the temporary president of the University of Melbourne Student Union. His appointment was unanimous and cross-factional, and follows the resignation of James Baker on 23 March this year. UMSU received legal advice recommending a by-election in Semester One. However, calling a by-election […]

 
Living With Intrusive Thoughts

Obsessive compulsive disorder – but not as you might know it.

 
He’s Mean Because He Likes You

My mother had told me that name-calling was love and hair-pulling was affection.

 
Handsome Dan

On the cult of Giles Corey.

 
Follicular Fuck-Ups

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is more common than you think.

 
Flash Fiction: Tell a Tale Through a Timeline

Time present and time past.

 
Failure to Protect

International students are increasingly voicing concerns regarding underpayment.

 
University Concedes to Fossil Free MU

After four days of rallies, stunts and lock-ins, Fossil Free Melbourne University (FFMU) activists have secured a number of concessions from the University of Melbourne regarding university divestment from fossil fuels. On Wednesday of Week 7, staff and FFMU students came together to negotiate for members of FFMU to end their lock-in at the Raymond […]

 
Religious Prejudice: The New Driver of Anti-Asylum Seeker Sentiment?

Unimelb finds religious intolerance as the main culprit for negative attitudes against asylum seekers.

 
88 Lines about 44 Books

In honour of World Book Day, Emme Michelle writes an ode to 44 books that changed the world.

 
In Defense of Shia LeBeouf

Shia LaBeouf: more than just a meme.

 
Don’t Leave Unattended

On the 866th day you said you smelt a bushfire and left. Slamming the front door accidentally (You were never that tough). And the sound of a lost last chance rang in my ears. Louder than sirens. Louder than bombs. Louder than The Smiths record I had playing while I cooked us breakfast. And I […]

 
Do You Hear What I Hear?

Auditory hallucinations are a surprisingly common experience.

 
Calling All Girl Gangs

This is a love letter from one girl to all the rest.

 
Review: Sam Garlepp

He carried on speaking a thousand words a minute, jumping between stories, dropping puns and dancing to Taylor Sw

 
Interview: Paul Foot

I’ve been known to knight people in the street, even though I don’t have the authority or legal right to do that.

 
The Postcode Paradigm

Simone Williams meditates on the East West debate.

 
The Year 4000

Peter Karabatsos provides a stimulating simulation conversation.

 
Toil

A unique poem by Caitlin McGregor on refugees.

 
Turn-It-In 2.0

Britt Baker discusses the anti-plagiarism program that the university is trialling.

 
UMSU President Resigns

The media officers discuss the resignation of UMSU President; James Baker.

 
We Are Not Perfect

Chih-Yu Chou provides an overview of the special general meeting held at North Court on the 5th April.

 
Where The Riot Grrrls At?

Mary writes a piece on women in music today.

 
Why are some people left handed?

It’s hard being a left-hander in a right-handed world.

 
An Interview with Bachelor of Music Graduate Shakira Tsindos

Mezzo-soprano Shakira Tsindos will star as Alisa in Victorian Opera’s presentation of Lucia di Lammermoor.

 
Based on a True Story

Encoding a memory is less like taking a video than it is scribbling down bullet points on a notepad.

 
An Hour in the Life: 6PM

The Germans have a word for it, I think. They call it Weltschmerz.

 
Interview: Neal Portenza

Just, don’t be discouraged at all. I think that’s the secret.

 
Review: Charlie Pickering

His parody news bulletin, highlighting the strangeness of something we all take for granted, was spot on in the most cutting of ways.

 
Review: Yeti’s Demon Dive Bar

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely had fun, but an hour at this Dive Bar isn’t something I’d recommend to everyone.

 
Interview: Laura Davis

Her style and ability to explore new frontiers, turning stand up into a truly artistic medium, is invigorating.

 
Review: Steve Hughes

Hughes expertly jumps between heartwarming sincerity and the blackest, self-deprecating humour you’ve heard.

 
Interview: Flying Bison

When it started out we had a riff of just three or four notes and just played that over and over again.

 
A Response to Daniel Andrews

Student Nathan Fioritti goes on Q&A

 
Interview: Jakubi

“Judging from the band’s rise to fame over the last few years we’ll definitely be hearing more from them.”

 
Review: Axis of Awesome

The show itself is an hour of making fun of other people’s songs, raps about Will Smith’s movies and their classic hits.

 
Review: Ben’s Illustrious Fact Show Episode 2

Ben’s Illustrious Fact Show is a nonsensical smorgasboard of comic delight.

 
Interview: Ben Volchok

The CIA invented the colour blue in 1969, to make children spend more time reciting the rainbow.

 
Review: Joel Dommett

Joel Dommett has the talent for storytelling that accompanies any good comic onstage.

 
Review: Sammy J and Randy Land

I felt like I had been transported back to my childhood – I was so engulfed in the magic of the whole thing.

 
Review: Anne Edmonds

She’s got such a unique comedy voice that I honestly feel honoured to be allowed into her world

 
REVIEW: Hannah Gadsby’s Dogmatic

Hannah is the human Doppler effect: here and there at the same time, dynamic, slightly obnoxious and almost frighteningly loud.

 
The Future of Food

I suggest going out to the garden right now and chowing down on the nearest handful of creepy crawlies you find.

 
Interview: Jacob Sacher (talking from a shower in the Commerce Building)

I remember I once overheard my dad telling my mum that my sister was smarter than me.

 
Review: What the Light Hides

Mette Jakobsen’s second novel, What the Light Hides, is equal parts lovely, sensory, and frustrating.

 
Voting opens for name of new student bar

UMSU) has decided to open the naming of the new student bar to a public poll.

 
A Bitter Pill: Drug Testing at Festivals

The fact is many Australians take drugs and will continue to do so no matter the legality.

 
Review: David Quirk’s Approaching Perfection

He uses his 55 minutes to explore the meaning of life and death which he does with expertise.

 
Review: Sara Pascoe’s Animal

It never once felt like a lecture. It was just smart stand up, pure and simple.

 
Review: Khaled Khalafalla’s Jerk

He has a penchant for approaching the sensitive with a confident “I don’t care” insensitivity.

 
Review: Greg Fleet’s These Things Happen

There are few storytellers like Greg Fleet, his imagery is vividly dramatic.

 
Interview: Tinpan Orange

A distinctive flavour in the Australian music scene with their hybrid folk-pop stylings and introspective lyrics.

 
Interview: Hilltop Hoods

Sean Mantesso chats with MC Suffa as we talked the Hilltop Hoods’ latest music, their upcoming tour, international success and lockout laws.

 
REVIEW: Felicity Ward’s What if There is No Toilet?

Felicity Ward’s energy and enthusiasm for what she does is contagious.

 
REVIEW: Tom Ballard’s Boundless Plains to Share

I leave the show having laughed jovially, while having also learnt more than I thought possible at a comedy show.

 
Review: Everywhere I Look

This book is great for any reader looking for short, sharp reads that are wonderfully written.

 
Review: Our Magic Hour

Aubrey is a reserved protagonist who struggles to communicate her feelings, even to the reader.

 
UMSU AND UNIVERSITY LAUNCH RESPECT WEEK

The University of Melbourne, in conjunction with UMSU, has launched the first Respect Week; a week filled with events aimed at highlighting issues students and staff face in regards to respect and awareness or a lack thereof. This is in response to Universities Australia’s campaign ‘Respect. Now. Always.’, a nation-wide initiative aimed at addressing sexual […]

 
Love in the Time of Mass Transit

Scott falls in love but was too busy fantasising to get her number.

 
UMSU Stands With 267 Asylum Seekers

This month, UMSU Students’ Council passed unanimously a motion offering Union House as sanctuary for asylum seekers. In doing so, the Student Union join organisations across Australia, including the RMIT National Tertiary Education Union and the Maritime Union of Australia, in taking a stand against government policy. Places of worship have also offered sanctuary to […]

 
Office Bearer Reports (Edition 2, 2016)

Click to read the edition 2 2016 office bearer reports written by each of the departments.

 
WE ARE ALL SO FAR AWAY

A creative piece by Dzenana Vucic.

 
PUNCH UP, NOT DOWN

Tiernan Morrison explains why Deadpool is the super satire we deserve, but not the one we need.

 
PIPE DREAMS

30 years of the cave clan.

 
POLL MANIA

Brendan Tam warns us about the peril of polls and populism.

 
Paying or Playing

Raphael Canty blasts his way through the ever increasing pay-to-win market.

 
(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)

Fergus Neal has a stand-up sit down with some of the best comedians in Australia.

 
IT’S NOT A PHASE MUM

Ashleigh Hastings-Olsen takes a New York minute to reflect on her MK&A obsession.

 
Do We Have A Sixth Sense?

Have you ever sensed that something bad was about to happen? Have you ever had a dream come true?

 
FOR & AGAINST: AVO

This edition’s battle is all about avocado. Who will come out on top?

 
Counsel in Couplets: Saddle Club Addict

This column, Nick answers Rory Mane who has a group assignment with someone who is obsessed with ponies.

 
Couldn’t Escape If I Wanted To

Danielle Crocci recounts a life lived by Abba songs.

 
Carlton Connect

Alexandra Alvaro attempts to explain the mystery of Lab-14.

 
THE BUSHFOODIE’S GUIDE TO THRIFTY CAMPUS DINING

your friendly neighbourhood grumpy scientist is here to tell you how to eat dirt cheap while at uni. Emphasis on the dirt.

 
The Visit to M. Night Shyamalan: The Screenplay

A couple of world-renowned reporters interview M.Night during his tour of Australia

 
Review: Malthouse’s ‘Picnic at Hanging Rock’

Tom Wright’s adaptation is by no means less eerie than the film, particularly thanks to the excellent sound design by J. David Franzke.

 
We Can Work With Fear: House of Cards Review

With unparalleled efficiency, depth and a beckoning coldness and cruelty, Claire and Frank have never been more compelling.

 
I Lost My Virginity To A Plastic Tube

I prefer the term ‘sexual awakening’.

 
In Defense Of Vlogging

The art of vlogging and its ability to connect people through the screen.

 
Button Mashing and Drawing Blood

It was always fighting games that brought out the worst in me.

 
CURBING COLLEGE CULTURE

Speaking with members of the college system, it’s not difficult to find traces of hypermasculinity within Australian university culture.

 
NAPPING ON CAMPUS

Jacob Sacher finds a nice corner to snuggle up in.

 
SERVICES RENDERED

James Agathos and Ben Clark get some unpaid experience reporting on unpaid internships.

 
KEEP RIGHT

Jesse Paris-Jourdan answers the question on everybody’s mind.

 
Intelligent Design?

Caleb Triscari has some questions for the university.

 
SPEWSUL

Martin Ditmann on the unstable family union.

 
TRESPASSER ON THE TRACKS

As I walk down the ramp inside South Yarra station, the air is muggy. The overcast sky has sealed the heat over Port Phillip Bay, making the crowded platform two feel like a glasshouse. The display showing ‘next service departing in three minutes’ suddenly flickers to ‘35 minutes’. Collective groans emerge from the commuters, myself […]

 
THE VOICE OF ANXIETY

Night Vale turns the everyday into a horror story, which doesn’t seem like something that would make an already-anxious person feel better about the world they live in. So why are they drawn to it?

 
OEDIPUS REKT

Zoë Goodall re-imagines sophocles’ incest dream in this creative piece.

 
APOTHEOSIS

A creative piece by Hayley Franklin.

 
BEFORE/DURING/AFTER

A creative piece written by Candy James-Zoccoli.

 
AN HOUR IN THE LIFE – 4AM

What happens at 4am….

 
Flash Fiction: Workplace Horrors

This one time at work…

 
When Man and Puppet Collide: An Interview with Sammy J & Randy

We sit down with Sammy J and Randy ahead of their show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

 
The Future of Advertising

Advertising – the business of convincing people to buy things they don’t really need.

 
String of Robberies Target International Students at Parkville Campus

“I was so terrified, as if I were dreaming.” Mary, an international graduate student in Melbourne University was robbed of her iPhone on Grattan Street at 9.10pm on Tuesday night. “My last lecture ended at 9pm,” she said. She was frightened to walk home alone that she checked time on her phone and held it tightly. […]

 
Clubs Carnival 2016

It’s week three and you have settled in to the monotony of lectures and study. The campus has lost the spark you first felt when you arrived and you find yourself going straight home after classes. Your one regret is that you cannot go back in time to the O Week Clubs Expo. You have […]

 
CAMPUS PIGEON

Ever wondered what the lifestyle of the pigeon at university is like? Read on for a detailed insight.

 
umbrella street

James Macaronas shares his creative short story.

 
jellyfish

Cindy Zhou shares her creative piece on jellyfish.

 
the traveller / The Backwater on the Frontline of Climate Change

Will Whiten discusses the impact on climate change in Mongolia and his experience travelling there.

 
Surfing the New Age

James Henshall discusses the changing nature and use of technology.

 
In the Wake of the Earthquake

Clara discusses her experience with the earthquake in Nepal.

 
cyclord / CYCLING SAFETY

Alexander Sheko discusses the importance of cycling safety.

 
I.U.Delight

Tegan McCarthy discusses contraception and in particular, IUD’s.

 
chlorine dreams

Edie Bush touches on his positive memory of the public pool.

 
Savers, Anxiety and the Mohair Cardigan of My Dreams

Walking through Savers on Sydney Road is an intensely personal experience… personal in the sense that it is both sensorially and spiritually engaging for the individual shopper. Ayu Astrid Maylinda shares her story of Savers and the mohair cardigan.

 
looking back to the future

The concept of ancestry is often thought of wholly in terms of personal identity – a specific bloodline and a family name passed down the generations. But to what extent is personal ancestry wrapped up in national identity?

 
The Future of Food: it’s not what it used to be

New developments in food production (hello, steak grown in a petri dish!) have the potential to alleviate many environmental and social justice issues in the most delicious of ways. Ghill de Rozario discusses her thoughts on the change in food production.

 
drawn to science – Opening the trapdoor: Frogs and artificial wetland traps with kate cranney

Meet Michael Sievers, PhD candidate with the School of Biosciences, who researches artificial urban wetlands and the frogs that call them home. Michael asks: are these wetlands actually ecological traps for native frogs?

 
science lab / glow stick jars

Ever wanted to make a DIY glow stick jar? Rebecca Liew explains how in 3 easy steps.

 
your brain and mindfulness

Ruth de Jager discusses the importance of mindfulness and its benefits.

 
In Soviet Russia, games play you

Tetris is a piece of Russian propaganda?! Adrian Yeung discusses the links between board games and politics.

 
neighbourhood watch / spotswood

Jack Fryer shares his experience on his trip to Spotswood.

 
CHARLIE IN THE WHITEHOUSE

Peter Kelly talks about Roald Dahl’s recent book; Charlie in the Whitehouse. (Disclaimer: this is not a real book)

 
Das Geschlecht – etymology by adriana psaltis

Adriana Psaltis discusses the German dialect.

 
Review: The Sick Bag Song

Part tour diary, part extended poem, part fictional prose, The Sick Bag Song is a dark, swirling epic.

 
Fake It ‘Til You Make It: A Layman’s Guide to Cinema Appreciation

In 5 easy steps, Zoe Moorman will teach you how to talk cinema.

 
the book – sean watson talks mislaid

Sean Watson discusses his thoughts on Nell Zink’s recent novel; Mislaid.

 
Evangeline – artist profile by Rose Doole

Rose Doole chats to Evangeline about her passion for music and her career thus far.

 
so you think you can campus: a tour of parkville

Alexander Eastwood teaches you about all the key wonders of the University of Melbourne campus.

 
Believing and disbelieving

Jeremy Nadel analyses in detail the University of Melbourne’s funding decisions and whether or not they are effective.

 
Arts Academic in Controversy

An anonymous writer discusses the hysteria behind the appointment of Ann Capling.

 
Comedy Comes To Campus

Emily Weir discusses the University of Melbourne’s first comedy festival and what to expect.

 
Grand Coalition Sweeps UMSU

Martin Ditmann discusses student politics and the results from the student election.

 
for and against / dogs

Yay or nay for dogs? You decide. Jakob von der Lippe and Gareth Cox-Martin battle it off in a for and against.

 
l’enfer, c’est les Autres

Alexander Linger shares a piece of his poetry.

 
A look

How much can a single look reveal? Emily Paesler elapses.

 
miss morris

A poetry piece by Ellen Cregan.

 
the traveller / Kosovo: Young and Restless

Kosovo may have won its independence, but the world’s second newest country – only South Sudan is younger – is losing its people and faces an uncertain future.

 
Nasty, Nazi Business

We don’t often stop to think about the origins of many of the brands and companies that we are familiar with. But, unbeknownst to many, the logos (and the organisations they represent) that we absentmindedly register as we walk through shopping districts or supermarket aisles may actually have a dark, Nazi past.

 
reefer madness

Have you heard about what’s happening on the Great Barrier Reef? Angela Christian-Wilkes fills you in on the disastrous situation of the famous Australian landmark.

 
Through the Looking Glass: Perspectives on Women in Film

Every Oscar-nominated portrayal of female experience in 2016 was shaped with male hands on the camera

 
Feminising the Film Industry

I have not yet met a female sound recordist. Apparently they need big strong arms. And a penis.

 
Questions Raised over Future of BEnvs

Sources have informed Farrago that the Bachelor of Environments will most likely be replaced by a new Bachelor of Design and a new environmental science degree in the following years. Last week, the University of Melbourne Academic Board approved the new Bachelor of Design. The BDes will be offered in the 2017 VTAC guide. It is unclear whether […]

 
Rio & Evie #1

When Evie messages Rio in the middle of the night, Rio decides to surprise Evie with a midnight adventure – to the moon.

 
Give the People Breadth and Circuses

Scott the Skeleton and Flora the Fox decide to take up ‘Panflutes in Contemporary Society’ as their breadth subject this semester, and learn to not regret a thing.

 
Clubs Carnival Returns for O-Week

Many things define the hectic life of a university student – from having too little money to spend, to adjusting to a whole new environment. However, one of the most important aspects of student life is arguably participating in the array of clubs and societies. At the University of Melbourne, there are over 200 clubs […]

 
Time to Ban the Bomb

Is it time to ban the bomb? Are Australian leaders doing enough? Mat Kelley explores the dangers of the bomb and why a ban is needed.

 
Ronda Rousey

On November 15 this year, Melbourne will host UFC 193 at Etihad Stadium. The main event? Ronda Rousey. Dexter Gillman discusses what this means for sport and the city of Melbourne.

 
The Trouble With Broga

Broga, man bun, man bag, mantyhose, bromance, man dates, manscaping, guyliner, mankinis. The list of heterosexual, man-friendly terms for typically female styles goes on. Sophie Berrill discusses the consequences of these terms and how it relates to gender stereotypes.

 
Everything is Political

Jason Wong discusses the importance of politics and why he persists in advocating for a better society.

 
Lesbian, Gay, Bicycle?… Trains?

While the gay rights movement has been imperative in gaining visibility for gay and lesbian people, bisexual, transgender and asexual people are being left far behind in gaining both social and legal status. Mary Ntalianis discusses this issue in detail.

 
The DIY Killer Robot

Are current laws to prevent terrorists or rogue states getting hold of dangerous artificial intelligence technologies outdated? Professor Rain Liivoja (a senior lecturer at Melbourne Law School) believes so.

 
shih tzu

Despite the good intention to create a joyful place where locals and tourists can get up close to the animals, the zoo is a sad reminder that there is a severe lack of funding. Amy Clements examines the conditions of the Teuk Chhou Zoo in the quaint town of Kampot, Cambodia.

 
The Lunar Effect: Fact or Fiction?

One doesn’t have to look far to find anecdotal stories about strange events and heightened crime occurring on the monthly full moon. But do these claims stand up to scrutiny? Is there really any correlation between the planetary system and the outcomes or experiences for humans living on Earth?

 
drawn to science

Matt Swan discusses the affect of fire on ground-dwelling mammals in the Otway Ranges.

 
Bandura’s Bobo Doll Experiment

Spice up your life with this handy, customizable version of the Bobo doll experiment, conducted first by Albert Bandura, and now conducted by you!

 
neighbourhood watch / Latrobe Valley

Looking for an escape to Victoria’s beautiful countryside? Samuel Dariol explores Latrobe Valley, only 90 minutes from Melbourne.

 
wee bit of Scottish – etymology with adriana psaltis

Adriana describes the Scottish dialect and accent.

 
fantastic books and where to find them – young adult fiction with melanie basta

Melanie Basta discusses her thoughts on the Australian classic; Looking for Alibrandi.

 
the book – sean watson talks purity

Sean Watson discusses his thoughts on Purity – a new book by Jonathan Franzen.

 
In Defense of The Kardashians

Love them or hate them, but you cannot deny that the Kardashians are pioneering an evolution in entertainment

 
Why Do We Yawn?

The yawn remains a brain­ boggling phenomenon, know that you are revelling in one of life’s most enduring mysteries.

 
Whose Reality

Virtual reality was for decades something that existed solely in the realm of science fiction, but now it’s truly here.

 
VCA Gets a Facelift

The VCA is set to expand its horizons – literally and figuratively – with its visual arts wing due to be completed this year.

 
Try a Little Tinderness

one photo says it all, so swipe that finger, I promise you two will have a ball.

 
The Vaginal Frontier

Love your va­jay­jay and all the power that comes with it. It’s just trying its best to look out for you.

 
The Oscars: Takin’ it back to 77'

A month ago, the 2015 Oscars promised to be the year a group of rich, overwhelmingly Caucasian men.

 
The NUS Doesn’t Care About Black People

Ultimately the NUS is failing to live up to what it could be and is pissing away whatever mandate it has left.

 
The Feminine Critique: #Sl/Activism

Hashtag Activism has proven highly popular to spearhead online campaigns, it has often been criticised.

 
Rise of the Flattened Fauna

Tyres reversing over this flat not just merely dead but really, most sincerely, Many tyres, reversing removing their tracks, and thing, dead. over and over, this flat thing becoming a not­so­flat thing. And this not­so­flat thing drawing to the living thing it once was, closer and closer the living thing it will be again. So […]

 
Stop (1) Right Now Thank-you Very Much

The new student centre replaces all previous centres as part of the university’s aim to create a ‘one stop shop’ for services.

 
Spotlight on UoM

The University of Melbourne is no stranger to the big screen.

 
Over Where the Ragged People Go

Over where the ragged people go is a field of frost cackling underfoot grass that bends and snaps at the ends   Over where the ragged people go seas rage, boiling feathers and fins sleek bodies and wings   Over where the ragged people go I see just the tip of your ear poking out […]

 
Opulent Cravings

On empty stomachs we stroll through streets With desire to be sat down At tables with sparkling water and menus bathed in genuine leather Desire to be greeted as Sir and Ma’am Unlike the he and she in allusions of contempt Or accusation The waiters are paid to be patient But they aren’t always and […]

 
Number 28: Donoghue Jones and the Spaceman Tapes

He took it all too far, But boy could he play guitar – ‘Ziggy Stardust’, David Bowie.

 
Jenny Ondioline

Stereolab paints a picture of post­modern slacker heaven, severe-faced and glued to their instruments.

 
It’s all Greek to Me

Growing up, the closest thing I ever felt to Hellenic pride was after Helena Paparizou’s ‘My Number One’ won the Eurovision Song Contest in 2005.

 
In SSAF Hands

A motion passed by the governing body of the student union will aim to raise awareness of services provided by the Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF).

 
Gender X

The University of Melbourne has introduced a new gender identification option that will be made available to all students in 2016.

 
Fruiting Bodies

The rule of thumb is to not pick anything, especially if you are not with somebody experienced. Even though some people do eat poisonous mushrooms by parboiling them to specific temperatures, mushroom foraging is definitely not something that should be taken lightly.

 
For and Against: Kanye West

Kan-yay or Kan-nay? Tyson Holloway-Clarke and Rose Doole take on the ultimate debate: Is Kanye West a genius or a douchebag?

 
Counsel In Couplets: Too Many Boosts

Developed a woe you can’t let go? Have it answered in the best way: in couplets.

 
Flash Fiction: Cliff Hangers

A collection of 100-word cliffhangers that leave us wanting more

 
Button Mashing in Tokyo

Long legs, candy, sex; advertising, breasts, businessmen; lights, eyeballs, paranoia.

 
Artistic Direction

Art & Australia will relaunch in June 2016 with a focus on contemporary art and its relationship to broader theoretical, socio­cultural and geo­political contexts.

 
Science Lab: The Stanford Science Experiment

Grab a few friends and witness the breakdown of social niceties based on arbitrary allocations to opposing groups.

 
Your Brain and Discrimination

Discrimination and prejudice is rampant in every human society, often in ways we are not consciously aware of.

 
haha get memed on

Dank memes are cool again.

 
I Speak You Speak We All Speak Emoji

Emoji has become so normalised in our day-to-day lives that it’s pretty much become our second language.

 
Whitewashing Arts

When I mention my mum’s disapproval of my degree, a frequent response is a knowing a smile and a remark about “typical Asian parents”. is drawn from the stereotype that Asian means maths and strict parents preoccupied with economic gain at the expense of passion and learning for learning’s sake.

 
Kore-what?

Prepositions like ‘in’ and ‘on’ are taken for granted by us English speakers.

 
Ingmar Bergman: Life Without Death

Bergman’s films have a compelling power; they confront us and they force us to turn the questions on ourselves.

 
Melanie Basta and the Order of the Book

Confession time: The Guy, the Girl, the Artist and his Ex by Gabrielle Williams is the first YA book I’ve reviewed for this column that I have not previously read as a kid or a teenager.

 
The Book: The Bret Easton Ellis Podcast

‘Controversy’ has always been central to the Bret Easton Ellis brand.

 
Mainstreaming Cult

Some films are so goddam good-bad.

 
Book ‘Em Danno

How many of you know that the Baillieu has a Second Folio? Or a page from the Gutenberg Bible?

 
Something Like Lonely

Being a foreigner, especially one without the local language, is hard.

 
From Here To Maternity

It’s no surprise that maternity leave has become a hot topic of late, given the controversial government backlash against ‘double-dipping’ from employers and the government.

 
Sheila Jeffreys: Gone

Professor Sheila Jeffreys, a lecturer in gender and sexual politics at the School of Social and Political Sciences, retired last semester after 24 years at the university.

 
How To Contest Your Myki Fine

And as I stood there, I thought to myself, ‘Gee, wouldn’t it be nice if someone wrote about how to dispute a myki fine in Farrago?’.

 
Bitch Better Have My Money

The trope depicting uni students as broke and living on a shoestring budget is a commonly used one – and eerily accurate, by many accounts.

 
Johnny Mnemonic: in retrospect

Neevon writes a review on the 1995 flick; Johnny Mnemonic.

 
dahl-ings: A Cooperative piece on the Co-Op

Charlie and Linah come together to discuss their experience with the food Co-Op.

 
UNI Council: Conflict of Interest Free?

Fossil Free Melbourne University (FFMU), a campus activist collective, have run over a year’s worth of protests, petitions, face-to-face confrontations and other forms of lobbying. They want the Council to declare in the new Charter that the University will divest the $588 million in its Endowment Fund from the top 200 fossil fuel companies. The Council has a key decision to make, but are all members of the Council interest free?

 
MOOCING POTENTIAL AND PITFALLS

Amar evaluates Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) and discusses whether they are the future of education.

 
Am I Here?

Who am I and what am I doing here? Am I here at all, and if not, where the hell am I?

 
All Breaths are One: The Revenant Review

By book­ending the film with wind and breath in darkness, Iñárritu draws parallels between the two…The two are caught up in each other as part of natural cycles of renewal.

 
Access All Hours

In the lead up to semester two exams for 2015, the Eastern Resource Centre left its doors open to the public 24/7.

 
Review: The High Mountains of Portugal

Yann Martel’s most recent work proves as anticlimactic and flat as the eponymous mountains themselves.

 
The Enigma of Zines

Hard to describe and almost impossible to define, zines sit in modern culture with connections to almost everything and anything.

 
Where To Go From Here: GSA LGBTIQ Panel Recap

Dr Ruth McNair is a general practitioner with clinical and research interests in same-sex parenting. She was the first to speak at a panel discussion last week on the future of LGBTIQ families, which the Graduate Student Association organised as part of the Midsumma Festival. The first thing McNair said when she took to the […]

 
ZINES: DIY

You want to insert yourself and your soon-to-be-famous creativity and wit into the underground zine culture? Not to worry, Farrago’s got your back with a step-by-step guide.

 
SUGAR MOUNTAIN @ THE VICTORIAN COLLEGE OF THE ARTS

Ooh la la… mazel tov… what can I say?

 
Girlpool W/ Summer Flake @ The Reverence

The spirit that Girlpool sent out that night is what I so cherish in music; combining a seriousness in the song form creation, with a positively anarchic approach to performance.

 
Interview: Boy & Bear

We discuss the band’s relationship with Triple J, their creative and recording process and the impact of piracy and streaming on the music industry.

 
The Internet Awakens

Welcome to the world of Star Wars fan theories.

 
Review: Cure

Jo Marchant’s rigorous exploration of the science (and pseudo-science) behind the mind’s ability to heal the body.

 
Student Organisations Condemn Loan Repayment Proposal

Student-based organisations are condemning a recent proposal to allow students to tap into superannuation funds to repay their university loans.

 
Review: Summer Skin

Reading Kirsty Eager’s Summer Skin is like having a drunken conversation with another girl in the bathroom of a nightclub.

 
Unimelb Marches for LGBTIQ Inclusion

In a step forward for inclusion, The University of Melbourne will participate in the Midsumma Pride March for the first time.

 
National student union refuses to reveal affiliation fees

The National Union of Students (NUS), a peak body for undergraduate student unions on Australia, has rejected a request to produce a list of all of its affiliate student unions and their affiliation fees. The request was made by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), an affiliate of the NUS, as part of its own budget at […]

 
Neunion House

The future of Union House is unclear due to a dramatic infrastructural shift of University services across campus. The change will mean services for students are housed in a defined ‘student precinct’ on the corner of Grattan and Swanston Streets. The University-led plan for a student precinct has prompted the University of Melbourne Student Union […]

 
Delegating Democracy: NUS NatCon Day Three

“Student Unity you can’t hide, you’re supporting genocide!” It would be easy to find someone on the floor who’d say the NUS National Conference this year was a success — hell, most speakers proclaimed as much at some point. However, it would be just as simple to find someone who’d argue the opposite. Day Three […]

 
The Effectiveness of Policy? NatCon Day Two Recap

“Protectionist economics is archaic — long live the free market!” It was a very slow morning on the Tuesday of NatCon. Conference did not even begin until 3pm in the afternoon — and sure enough, that led on tp a very long night. If you haven’t caught up with the most recent dealings, why not? You can follow […]

 
NUS NatCon Day 1 Recap

“What kind of animal wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves ‘I think I’ll join the Young Libs today’?” These were the words muttered by a member of the Grassroots Left in front of me while I waited to receive my room key. Students nationwide gather at Monash University Clayton this week to […]

 
Letter to the Editor: Filming at NATCON

This letter is in response to the Farrago Editorial: Transparency and Accountability in Student Organisations As someone who has actually attended the National Union of Students’ National Conference, I know that it’s a lot more than just the “political push and pull” most people outside of the organisation like to dismiss it as. NatCon is a place […]

 
NUS NatCon Liveblog

Hello, this is a liveblog for the National Union of Students’ National Conference. You can also follow live updates at @farragomagazine.

 
EDITORIAL: Transparency and Accountability in Student Organisations

You are accountable to the students who fund you, let them see why they should.

 
Clash over funding for student services and amenities

Student unions and legislators have clashed over proposed changes to the funding of student services, clubs and societies, with a proposed motion defeated. The Senate considered a private member’s motion from Independent Senator John Madigan which would abolish the Student Services and Amenities Fee. The motion was supported by Senators Deo Wang (PUP), Bob Day […]

 
Sleep Paralysis Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tall Grey Man

What do vampires, alien abductions and chest-sitting monsters have in common? Everyone’s heard stories about monsters in the night, ghastly ghouls that ensnare sleepers in a state of paralysis and torment them in their beds. A vampire in the doorway hypnotises vulnerable sleepers, leaving them immobilised and helpless as they are drained of their life […]

 
Big Dave breaks drought

A new student bar for O-Week 1990.

 
The Jack Thomas Case: Australian civil liberties under attack

Zoe Holman speaks to Jack’s brother Les Thomas about the international bureaucratic nightmare that has engulfed the Thomas family.

 
Human Shields

“You must become the change you want to see in the world.”

 
Labor picks relaxed and comfortable

Hawke never announced economic deregulation in advance, just as Whitlam never gave anyone a heads-up over his policy that the economy was an annoying side-issue to the real business of state: buying up Jackson Pollock works.

 
The Melbourne Playback Theatre Company knows how to work its magic

“What happens when an expert panel and an interested audience talk about climate change – especially when there’s a bunch of improvising actors and musicians listening in?”. That was the tagline of an out of the ordinary event that was held at the Union Theatre on August 14; its name was “Our Climate – Personal […]

 
For and Against / Masturbation

For: Kitty Chrystal In this article, and just generally in life, I’m of the pro-mazz stance. I consider it a healthy aspect of my sexual practice, something that has helped shape my understanding of my own sexuality; something I do alone and sometimes something I do with a partner. It makes me feel good and […]

 
Gentrification VS. Graffiti

First semester is drawing to a close and tutorial discussions are tending more towards holiday plans than [insert subject name]. It seems half the student population will be migrating north in search of warmer climes and New York will, as always, be a disproportionately popular destination. People the world over flock to the nerve centre […]

 
Psychology of Scientology

The reception was spotless, fitted with sleek wooden panels and expensive furniture. Rather than stained glass windows or painted icons, there were waiting lounges and staff in formal attire. There was a hushed silence broken only by the tapping of keyboards and the clattering of heels as female staff strode by. Hundreds of books branded […]

 
Jamie North: Rock Melt

All that is solid melts into air.

 
Blood, Sweat and Tea

Believe it or not, there was a time when Chinese innovation didn’t consist of ripping off Silicon Valley tech companies. China is credited with being the birthplace of the four of the most important inventions in the world: paper, printing, gunpowder and the compass. The Europeans used the latter two to navigate to new lands […]

 
Kiss the Girls

I know him through friends and it’s about 4am. We’ve all been drinking for hours, dancing to silly tunes in a loose-knit group comprised of the last kids standing. At some point, he kisses me. I push him away playfully – then he kisses me again, harder this time, his tongue pushing into my mouth […]

 
Thinking Ahead

The following article includes descriptions of medical procedures and animal studies. In the year 2017, neuroscientist Dr Sergio Canavero plans to perform the world’s first head transplant. Valery Spiridonov, a man with muscle atrophy, has volunteered to be the patient whose head is transplanted onto a brain-dead donor body. It sounds like something out of […]

 
Think Different

As technology becomes more intertwined with our experience of the world and reality, we really must consider whether this evolution is such a good thing.

 
Nobel Women

Can you name a living scientist? What about a living, female scientist? What about a living, female scientist who has won a Nobel prize?

 
The Invisible Issue

One in six Australians have hearing loss. By 2050, it will be one in four.

 
Science Lab / Recipe for an Existential Crisis: The Rubber Hand Illusion

In this experiment, learn to amaze your friends and lead them to the crushing realization that their self-image isn’t as stable as they probably assumed. Method: Step One: Sit your friend at the table and instruct them to place their hands onto the surface. They can be palms-up or palms-down. Step Two: Obscure their view […]

 
Your Brain and Hot Drinks

Among other things, holding a hot drink increases the likelihood that you will judge strangers to be more welcoming and trustworthy.

 
For and Against / An Australian Republic

For: What do you want your country to value? This is the central question of the debate of Australia’s constitutional future: the debate between remaining a monarchy and becoming a republic. Should we value tradition, with the stability it offers, and accept the hierarchy, religiosity and the stagnation of our national culture that come with […]

 
The Traveller / Idealogical Parking in Albania

Behind an unassuming building in central Tirana, the Albanian capital, there’s a car park where you can find some apt symbols of the nation’s past and present. The first and most conspicuous of these are the communist statues oxidising on the perimeter of the property. Two colossal figures of the ideology – Lenin and Stalin […]

 
Butter Chai

In response to Elena Larkin’s ‘The Shot The Doctor Doesn’t Offer’, Bhargavi Battala reflects on her time in the Indian valley of Spiti. Before I moved to Melbourne, I wanted to go on a crazy backpacking trip to some exotic, remote place in my own home country of India. After unending consultations with friends, travel […]

 
Carnegie Lemon

It’s interesting to see where place names come from. Take my hometown of San Remo, just across from Phillip Island. There’s a popular brand of pasta that you can find at most Australian supermarkets called San Remo. When I first saw it, I asked my dad if it was made locally. He said yes. When […]

 
Uber Problematic

The ridesharing craze is sweeping the world. Now, there is an existential threat to taxi drivers as we know them. It’s time to see what makes Uber tick. Ridesharing is sweeping the world, fast becoming a solid alternative to traditional taxis. For the first time, an app on your smartphone can hail a price-quoted ride […]

 
Never Such Innocence

In my first year of university, my history lecture spoke of the mass murder of Iraqi-Kurdish rebels and civilians in one of the earliest extensive bombing campaigns, as the British attempted to enforce their mandate over Mesopotamia in the wake of the Treaty of Versailles. I was confused. My lecturer’s recount of events sounded strangely familiar, yet […]

 
Playing the Field / ICC Cricket World Cup Final

In terms of viewership, the ICC Cricket World Cup is the third most popular global sporting event, behind only the Olympics and the all-conquering FIFA World Cup. The 2015 tournament, jointly hosted by Australia and New Zealand, had an official attendance of over 1 million people. A total of 14 countries competed in 49 matches […]

 
A Guyde to Victorian Politics

The name of the state opposition leader is something that people often don’t learn until they’ve succeeded in becoming the premier, and sometimes not even then, if you have the misfortune of having two first names (poor Andrew Daniels). However, one Guy is different. Here is a Guy who was involved in a bizarre stoush […]

 
Switched-on

On 15 March 2015, I quit social media. The effects were immediate and unprecedented. I found inner peace. I began to love myself more. Life literally became more real – until I realised that this ‘reality’ was as unpalatable as illusion, and I was most definitely not a better person for it. I was merely […]

 
Drawn to Science – Heatwaves and Megabats

Kate Cranney mixes one part science (a profile of a research scientist) with one part art (a detailed drawing of their study subject). In this edition, meet Himali Ratnayake. Himali is a PhD candidate researching how heat waves affect Australian flying foxes. Are you sipping an espresso at this moment? Do you have Farrago in […]

 
Science Lab / Strawberries and DNA

DNA is cool stuff: it gives your cells the instructions to make you, well…you. Yet with only a two per cent difference in its composition you would be a chimpanzee. It’s amazing to think that your entire being is pretty much governed by tiny strands of the junk. But alas, we never really get to […]

 
Your Brain and Depression

Depression not only affects your mood, but lowers your cognitive ability, possibly even after you’ve recovered. Depression has been a huge topic of conversation societally in recent years, which is fantastic in helping to break down the stigma of mental illness, however, it is still a widely misunderstood dis-order. Depression, described beautifully by Mike Martin, […]

 
So, How Was It For You?

Farrago asks four students from the major parties how they felt about the federal election. The results may surprise you.

 
George

You know something, George? I already miss you. I miss the tight helical curls that fell from your temples and framed your face. Your smooth complexion, perfectly complimented by an outfit of charcoal silk and maroon corduroy. Your almond eyes suggesting a mind both absorbent and inquisitive. The way you decided that out of everyone […]

 
Prosh Week: The Naked Truth

Photography by Zoe Efron I stood before my bedroom mirror, appraising my naked body. I thought to myself, “Nope. No one needs to see this. Sure, I’ll do Prosh—but nudity is where I draw the line.” Little did I know that Prosh is a week where the ‘line’ is constantly erased and moved a little […]

 
Declassified: Prosh Week

Never have teamwork, nudity and go-karting found such perfect cohesion as in the University of Melbourne’s Prosh Week. Although there is a distinct lack of clarity amongst students as to what Prosh really is, there can be some certainty in its ability to disrupt campus life and transform it into something much more entertaining. But […]

 
BIP to Move Music Library

One of the major changes included in the Business Improvement Program (BIP) is to relocate the Louise Hanson-Dyer Music Library (LHDML) to the VCA Southbank campus. There are fears that the amount of library staff could be also be reduced, in addition to the 540 job cuts announced in June. Students have expressed their outrage […]

 
Rachel Withers wins presidential ballot in surprise outcome

Rachel Withers will take the reins as 2015 student union President, after winning the student elections by a very narrow margin. As the 5 o’ clock chime rang out over campus, student politicians collectively expressed a sigh of relief after a week of rigorous campaigning. From 1 to 5 September, students from 17 different tickets […]

 
Students and staff protest against BIP

The National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) has protested with students against university staff cuts, stating that executives “couldn’t give a shit” about university operations. The rally took place late last month. It was the latest action condemning the university’s changes in the Business Improvement Program (BIP) saga. Staff and students gathered outside the Raymond Priestly […]

 
Students chained to ladder demand #FreeEducation

Words and photography by Martin Ditmann Left-wing Melbourne student activists have grabbed attention after chaining themselves to a ladder and staging a sit-in at the university’s Future Students Information Centre. The snap protest comes on the day that parliament prepares to debate the Liberal government’s controversial higher education reforms, and follows similar action at Monash […]

 
Artist Profile: Ben Provest / Benny and the Dukes

Ben Provest’s room is a chaotic cross between an organised study bedroom and a messy music studio. His desk is peppered with sheets of loose-leaf paper, with a well-loved keyboard and an expensive set of speakers sitting on top. Across the room rests a mini conch shell nestled between two framed photographs of his beloved […]

 
UMSU Budget Passes: Big Cuts to NUS

UMSU’s 2015 budget has passed Students’ Council, including a controversial cut to payments to the National Union of Students. The budget, drawn up by new UMSU president Rachel Withers and her independent More Activities! grouping, passed following heated debate over the readjusted NUS allocation. The National Union of Students is the peak body for Australian […]

 
Tinder Love and Care

Both times I’ve shut down my Tinder, I always wondered about the lives I had infiltrated. There was one guy in particular — a gun-loving former US soldier who, moments before I pressed the delete button, had asked if I wanted to go get coffee. Seeing as how this request had been preceded by lamentations […]

 
Shitlords

Trigger warning: sexual assault The dark reflections of Francisco Goya’s Saturn Devouring His Son, an allegory of the revolutionary turmoil in early nineteenth century Spain, echoed the sentiments of Jacques Mallet du Pan, who previously had said of the similar situation in France: “the Revolution devours its children”. The words continue to resonate, particularly in […]

 
Infinite Jest

Satire is about as ancient as the human need to talk shit. In every group of cavemen huddling close in fear during a thunderstorm, one most likely grunted sarcastically at the dude who decided they should live in a place that made the sky gods angry. Satire, whether it’s the biting observational humour of a […]

 
Adam and Eve-n More Interesting Stories

Monty Python can do no wrong, but even the excellent The Life of Brian could have been improved if the associated religion had been a little more, you know, exciting. For instance, take Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. Any religion whose adherents believe in a supernatural creator covered in tomato sauce is sure to be as big […]

 
Dog Days

People go to music festivals for all sorts of reasons. Some go for the music, some go for the camping and some go to take drugs and enjoy some interstellar mind fuzz. A vast majority probably go for a combination of all three. But as drugs have become an undeniable part of music festivals, so […]

 
Vale Phillip Hughes

Phil Hughes was not Australia’s greatest cricketer; he was not a great technician, nor a fearsome striker. Rather, he possessed a homespun style and a fearsome desire to succeed. When on November 25 2014 he was struck in the head by a cricket ball, I –  like many others – simply assumed he’d get back […]

 
Neighbourhood Watch – Woodend

Halfway between Melbourne and Bendigo lies Woodend, a town that boasts a quirky and interesting culture despite basically being situated on one street. While this scenic spot only has a population of 5,400 people, you’ll find it bustling on the weekends, and it is a good start to your exploration of places outside of Melbourne. […]

 
Stream of Consciousness

Netflix is set to make its debut on Australian soil in March, marking the start of a new era for TV consumption. Netflix is hailed as the solution to all of our shady watching habits, but will it really be all it’s cracked up to be? In Australia, we don’t have the best access (or […]

 
I Can See Your Halo

In 2004, David Broadway wrote November 9th on his school blazer. The date marked the release of Halo 2, sequel to one of the great science-fiction shooters of our time. David was a failed punk rocker. He dyed his curly hair red but it turned pink. People called him Ronald McDonald and asked him how […]

 
Student Pile-O-Dicks

This year the UMSU President cut a sizeable portion of UMSU’s annual allocation to the National Union of Students (NUS). In this Farrago exclusive, Eric Gardiner spoke with two student politicians from opposite ends of the political spectrum to get their thoughts on the move. SCRAPPY THE LUMBERJACK RUSSELL – SOCIALIST ALTOGETHER WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN […]

 
Wide World of Weird Sports

I’ve never been good at sport, especially team sports where my incompetence lets down an entire team as well as myself. Due to this complete inability, I never sought out to join a sports club at the university. Much to my surprise there are more clubs than I could have imagined, with sports I’d never […]

 
International Students in Limbo

Uncertainty over tuition fees could become a financial burden on the University of Melbourne’s full-fee paying international students, with graduate students facing a potential 10 per cent increase per annum, says the student union’s president. UMSU President Rachel Withers told Farrago that as universities face financial uncertainty due to cuts in Government funding, a 10 […]

 
New Direction in Education Action

Twenty fourteen was certainly an eventful year in politics, and higher education policy was one of the key issues on the national agenda. A number of activist groups around the country scored significant media coverage with a series of high-profile protests against the Abbott government’s education reforms. But the controversy surrounding some of the more […]

 
Academology: Social Studies

When the dreaded exam time comes around each semester, The Spot transforms into a hub of concentration at night. Students stay late, only to exit the building in the hours of the early morning — and maybe before then for the occasional cross-campus coffee run. When people think of study areas, they often think of libraries. […]

 
Your Brain and Social Rejection

Ever wondered why people say they feel ‘hurt’ by others’ comments? Or why we refer to losing in love as having our heart ‘broken’? These little language quirks have evolutionary origins which have made us desperate for affection. We are hardwired to need to be included. Back when humans lived in hunter-gatherer societies, being in […]

 
Science Lab – Thermal Shock

I like this experiment because not only do you get to explore/demonstrate the effects of thermal shock*, but you also get some lovely glasses at the end. Also, you’re recycling and the earth will love ya for it. I would recommend following the materials list closely. Originally I did not and tried to use acrylic […]

 
Drawn to Science – Triple Jeopardy in the Kimberley

Sifting through fish guts, collecting ear bones and spotting crocodiles – it’s all in a day’s fieldwork for one postgraduate student from the School of Biosciences. The Researcher Meet Matt Le Feuvre is a PhD candidate researching the extinction risk of freshwater fish in the Kimberley, a region in Australia’s tropical north-west. And also meet […]

 
Paging Dr Love

When I was just eleven years old, I had my first crush. Unfortunately, he was in the year above me and so naturally, he had no clue I existed. With my new hormones overriding my brain, I tried everything to get his attention. Whether it was attempting to play soccer or complementing him on his […]

 
Robo-Doc

The room is white and sterile. Month-old flowers wither in a vase, a feeble attempt at colour. A heart-rate monitor hums obediently at the bedside of the sickly patient. Doctors rush past the open doorway, weary-faced, papers flying, stethoscopes swinging, barely casting a glance toward the fading lifeform inside. Medicine today has come far from the days […]

 
A Wave

A shell lies waiting beaming in a ray of light (my hand)   We lie in a hot room smiling around the curl of the shell   Bright blue, a day away and a dream falling   In the thick of the last night I sang to the shell the melody ran in a wink […]

 
Christmas Kitchen Calamities

Christmas day for an extended family of 37 is always a chaotic affair. With one matriarch in her late eighties, seven children, seventeen grandchildren, three overwhelmed great-grandchildren under the age of seven, plus various partners, friends and companion animals all on the scene at once, certain changes to the classic Christmas model have had to […]

 
Farmer’s Market Arrives at Uni

The University of Melbourne will host a farmer’s market beginning this semester on Wednesdays. Held on Union Lawn between 11am and 3pm, the market will provide not only seasonal fruit and vegetables but also a wide variety of organic and bio-dynamic products and produce. With the opportunity for students to engage directly with business owners, […]

 
MU Sport Shifts Funding

Melbourne University Sport (MU Sport) is set to implement a new funding model for its 40 sporting clubs. The new model will aim to create more transparent and equitable funding system, following the controversy in the fair fund distribution among the clubs. Under the current system, sporting clubs are categorised into three categories: competitive, recreational […]

 
Graduate Student Elections

Just as the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) represents the entire student body, the University’s Graduate Student Association (GSA) represents graduate students on campus. Following the recent internal by-election, Steve Brown was elected as the new GSA president. Brown is a graduate public policy student and has a history of involvement in student politics. […]

 
A New my.unimelb App

It’s here. My.unimelb now has its own app. Will it change your life? We’re not so sure. According to the ask.unimelb website, “The my.unimelb mobile app allows you to view your class and exam timetables, notices, library borrowing, fines, results, system announcements and events”. However, the app has one fatal flaw, rendering it fundamentally redundant […]

 
Carlton Cheap Eats

We at Unimelb should consider ourselves lucky when it comes to food and coffee on campus. Whether it’s brunch at Seven Seeds, a quick beverage from Standing Room or stress eating at Pronto Pizza (because when has pizza ever let you down?), we have an abundance of delicacies around almost every corner. But once in […]

 
Cleft

Michael dug his finger into the top of a mandarin and peeled the skin back in one go, hating the way the stringy white bits clung to the fruit. He picked them out and placed them inside the curve of empty skin. Michael only liked fruit when it was sour, just half-ripe, and he had […]

 
Against Her Nature

Delicate long petals Strong soothing aroma The vision a victim Of alien seduction On its own will Expires and dissolves To undermine Mother Nature A well-built structure Hair of vines and leaves A competent warrior To conquer barbaric winds The porter of fruits On its own will Withers and dissolves To provoke Mother Nature A […]

 
Your Brain and Music

For many of us, music is an integral part of our lives. But why is this? Music has been known to cause increases in heart rate, dilated pupils, body temperature changes, chills and goose bumps, as well as generally awesome feelings. As to what gives us these lovely physical and psychological changes, we can point […]

 
Science Lab / The Speed of Light

It’s taken mankind over 300 years to pin down the speed of light. So we’re going to measure it with a chocolate bar. Let’s get started. METHOD: Step 1. You want to stop the platter in your microwave from rotating. This can be done either by inverting the platter or removing the wheels that allow […]

 
Here Comes the Sun

Coal fired power will soon be obsolete. That was the topic of a debate staged at Federation Square in the twilight of 2014. Bob Brown spoke for the motion, alongside a green energy entrepreneur and our own Professor Mike Sandiford. In opposition, an economist, a businesswoman and a government executive valiantly argued that – noble […]

 
Technologies of Star Trek: Resistance is Futile

Star Trek has given birth to a plethora of ingenious ideas pertaining to the world of technology. Living in a time where Back to the Future is now set in our past, we as the human race are sitting here waiting around for the day these technologies become a reality. I mean how are hover […]

 
“What if I’m Infertile?”

As humans, we’re hardly impressed by the fact that each and every single one of us are capable of contributing to, harbouring and fostering life. And perhaps it is in our pursuit of mechanisms to control our fertility – for logical, rational and personal reasons – that we’re prone to sideline considerations of our fertility […]

 
Under the Wig: Demystifying Drag

What comes to mind when you think of a drag queen? Men in wigs and sequinned dresses? Dame Edna? Priscilla: Queen of the Desert? Maybe even White Chicks or Mrs. Doubtfire? Drag queens are arguably the most underrated and misunderstood members of the LGBTQI community. An acronym for ‘dress resembling a girl’, drag has roots […]

 
Hi(gh), Welcome to Canberra

Canberra: the bustling metropolis that is the semi-precious, quartz stone gem in Australia’s crown. This noble bastion of righteous mediocrity stands strong against the sea of actually interesting and memorable places… But alas, your dear author gets ahead of himself. I recently travelled up to Canberra to visit friends and family who have moved there, […]

 
Neighbourhood Watch – Daylesford

If you’re after an alternative to a coastal weekend escape, Daylesford and the nearby Hepburn Springs are absolute gems hidden in Victoria’s spa country. While the phrase ‘spa country’ might fuel your bourgeois nightmares, dismissing Daylesford as a retreat for middle-aged couples sells it very short indeed. Daylesford is about a 70-minute drive from Melbourne, […]

 
Next-Gen Nausea

Latency Jules and I have set up our Xbox Ones. He’s trying to organise a party chat using voice commands. “Xbox, snap party.” “Xbox, unsnap.”Frustration mounts. “Xbox, fuck me.” I’m attempting to navigate the menu using hand gestures. I’ve got my open palm to the Kinect sensor. It must look as though I’m having a […]

 
Re-Tales of Horror

Working in retail is probably not what I’d call my ‘dream job’. However, I’ve spent the last three years of my life working for arguably the dodgiest chain retailer (I’ll let you figure that one out yourselves, kids) in an inarguably shady part of town. As you may have been able to gather, I have […]

 
Kink Critique

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the best place for ideological fisticuffs is a Facebook status. Forget arts festivals, forget live debates, forget sitting around at the pub until Hitler inevitably comes up – it’s all Facebook. So it was the other fateful day when I decided to wade into a conversation about kink-shaming. Everyone […]

 
MulticulturalismTM

Multiculturalism is a brand for Australia. It resonates in every classroom and is never far from the lips of every politician. It’s evoked as a ‘disclaimer’ against racism for every racially charged debate from asylum seekers to foreign investment. It’s a buzzword, proclaimed loudly to demonstrate how far we’ve progressed since the White Australia policy. […]

 
Re-Thinking Indigenous Identity

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear: I am not here to tell anyone how they should identify, or that how they previously saw themselves is wrong. I am not looking to provide a solution to the puzzle that is personal identity. That’s an endeavour that spreads itself across the fields of psychology, history, philosophy and […]

 
Debt-Ention

Being a student whose surname isn’t Trump, Gates or McDuck, means figuring out a way to indulge your nascent refinement of taste in food, drink, fashion, culture, travel and real estate for somewhere under thirty-five cents a week. And it is generally advisable to keep within at least a flailing arm’s length of the parental […]

 
Singapore: The Merlion Stirs…

“Singapore? It’s kinda boring. Bloody expensive. Good shopping though. Oh, and the food is amazing.” This is what everyone told me before I left for an internship in the “Lion City” and, at first, nothing suggested the reality was any different. Everything is bloody expensive – for a while I was paying $60/night to live […]

 
Fossil Free Rally at Uni

Protestors gathered to South Lawn yesterday to rally against the University’s divestment in fossil fuels in a National Day of Action alongside 15 other universities. Students, staff, alumni and members from Fossil Free MU, UMSU’s Environment Department, and 350.org gathered at midday in preparations to march to the Raymond Priestly building. Rally groups in support of divestment argued that a […]

 
What Direction Now?

Recent news of Zayn Malik’s departure from British boyband One Direction has spurned high-octane emotional responses, ranging from utter despair and mass hysteria to surprisingly vitriolic derision, with a good measure of middle-aged ambivalence somewhere in between. Following Malik’s announcement on the twenty-sixth of March in which he cited stress and personal reasons as his […]

 
University Fees Battle: Universities

Australia’s ‘Group of 8’ (Go8) consortium of universities has announced that it is opposed to any ‘watering down’ of the Higher Education and Research Reform Bill 2014 to allow it to be passed into law. The legislation – which would allow universities to set their own course tuition fees without caps (as per the United […]

 
Union Money and Detention Centres

Late last year, the National Tertiary Education Union’s (NTEU) University of Melbourne Branch joined several other branches in successfully pressuring their superannuation fun, UniSuper, to withdraw investments from Transfield. Transfield is a publically listed company that has been managing Australia’s detention centres on Manus and Nauru since entering a $1.22 billion contract in January 2014. […]

 
Graduate Courses Online

The University has taken the first steps towards “establishing the capacity to develop, deliver and maintain a suite of high quality, online, graduate-level courses”. The Graduate Online – Melbourne Initiative is currently focusing on offering online degrees in two fields of study, evaluation and ageing. The online courses range from specialist certificates to masters degrees. […]

 
Behind the Bookshelf

In the 13th century the Mongol hordes, under Hulagu Khan, lay siege to the medieval metropolis of Baghdad. The city’s famous library was destroyed, with so many books thrown into the rivers that the waterways were said to run black with ink. To this day, it remains the single largest destruction of knowledge in history. […]

 
Rad Sex and Consent Week

UMSU’s autonomous departments at the University of Melbourne hosted Rad Sex And Consent Week 2015 from the 20th to the 23rd of April. The yearly event, made up of a series of workshops and talks, tackled issues surrounding consent and a diverse range of sexual relationships. With workshops covering topics from sex toys to interracial […]

 
Lecture Recordings at Uni: Chapter 42

The University of Melbourne will have a new mandatory lecture recording policy in place by the end of the year. By 31 December, all lectures will be recorded, with lecturers being able to opt out of this only for ‘non-trivial’ reasons. The UMSU Education Department is currently working with university administration to determine what these […]

 
Deep Divisions Over Uni Reconciliation

On 18 March 2015, at the 2015 University Wominjeka (Indigenous Welcome), the University of Melbourne formally launched its second Reconciliation Action Plan (RAP). In his foreword to the plan, Vice-Chancellor Glyn Davis declares RAP 2’s intent to “maintain and build on earlier commitments” to the University’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander (ATSI) students and staff, […]

 
In the Form of a Bullet to the Left Arm

A meticulously planned day comes to a screeching halt when Anna decides to shoot her boyfriend Ezra in the left arm. He lies, sprawled on the pavement, his terribly cut almond hair sticking to his pale, sweaty brow. Why he’s sweating, Anna can’t understand. He has a bullet lodged in his left arm, an action […]

 
The Wolf Stars

They say Myrddin sang the stones from Wales Or that Giants heaped them, transfigured into menhirs from the early sun. The plain is minimally barren: Unimportant clumps of treeline are further reduced To sorrel patches And the strict definition of weed: herbaceous, a grass, Indiciduous tree or fungus That grows on its own terms – […]

 
Xibalba

The underworld was located in a cave somewhere in the jungle, the feet that led to it buried in falling green leaves and precipitation: a Tantalus-esque trench, a grove of people transformed into trees. The word now – the museum exhibit – evokes, rather than insinuates, a serpent plumed headdress, tattoos that go deeper than […]

 
An Indolent High

My brother’s friend Carlos refers to Barcelona as a “giant orgy that no one is invited to.” He’s staring at me with those yellow eyes, waiting for a response. I smile, nod, and lean over to take a look at the city. We’re on a terrace with a panoramic view. My brother’s place is a […]

 
Why you hate apples and taking the train home

He can’t see you through the keyhole, because you don’t fit into a fucking keyhole

 
Flight

I remember the braided scar on your left shoulder where a wing could have grown. the way you would retreat behind the trenches of your bedsheets before the hail of tears tracked your cheeks. the snails on the pavement never did make it, their shells cracked like bookspines under our hurrying feet. like a flowering […]

 
Stellaaaaaaaaa

Why the Stella Prize promotes women in literature.

 
The Month of May: Music Previews with Jack Kilbride

Oh me, oh my, oh May. The month of dreading winter and savouring every last drop of summer’s sweet elixir. Musically, May usually offers an entrée-sized garden salad in comparison to the succulent mixed grill of the warmer months. With the irresistible Courtney Barnett selling out the Forum twice already, this year might be a […]

 
Neighbourhood Watch / Werribee

Can’t wait until mid year break? Me neither. You want to travel? Great idea! But wait, my dear Farrago reader, wherever will you go? Europe? No. Asia? Sorry, those locations are too full of cultural experiences and adventures that you can neglect in exchange for a short trip down to my hometown of Werribee. I […]

 
Gangsta’s Paradise

Love it or hate it, hip-hop is here to stay. While it may constantly twist and morph, its cultural influence is undeniable, and hip-hop artists wield a power that should not be underestimated. That power, the power of storytelling, can introduce listeners to the nonsensical and fantastical, as well as a dark and morbid conception […]

 
Horrorscopes

Aries Aries: the Ram – more like the Ram-ifications of your actions. Check yourself before you wreck yourself – your competitive nature usually works in your favour, but this month the Moon has turned your luck. Anything you try before May will result in doom, so lock yourself in a basement with some tin cans, […]

 
Twin Peaked?

Twin Peaks. You may think of it as a euphemism for boobs, but it’s actually a cult TV series. It’s also the forefather of today’s biggest (and most addictive) TV hits. Premiering in April 1990 to over 34.6 million viewers in the US, Twin Peaks follows the mystery of a washed-up high school prom queen… […]

 
Artist Profile – Isabela Calderon

Isabela Calderon is a singer and performer currently studying at the Melbourne Conservatorium of Music.

 
Melanie Basta and the Goblet of Books

There’s something oddly comforting about A Series of Unfortunate Events, despite the inherently depressing narrative.

 
The Mazel Tov

My experience with Yiddish is limited to exposure to the odd word thrown around during Friday night dinner conversations at my boyfriend’s place. He’s Jewish, and since I’m not, he’s my translator. In fact, not long ago, I found myself in the attic of an antique shop in Victoria’s southeast testing his knowledge through the […]

 
Exam Relief: Music Previews with Jack

So it’s the end of the first week of exam period. If you are an arts or environments student you have probably seen your first glimpse of sunlight since the start of SWOTVAC, dropping what seems like your life’s work into the abyss of the submission slot. It’s definitely time to celebrate. Those in science, […]

 
Agony Agatha

I’m new to Melbourne and I’m having a hard time making friends. How do I become popular? As writer of an advice column, I’m obligated to preface my reply with the standard “don’t compromise character for popularity/popularity is a fickle witch/make genuine connections” feel-good, self-help schlock. It’s a legal thing; all Agony Aunts take an […]

 
Musings of a Modern Fangirl

Let me paint you a picture. Fingers cramping from several hours of scrolling, the bottom right corner of the laptop screen reads 3.30 AM.

 
Finding Comfort in Hyperreality: Stars Hollow & the Garrulous Gilmore Girls

“I don’t like problems. I avoid them when I can and I don’t like people pointing them out to me.” Such is the life of Lorelai Gilmore and her teenage daughter/best friend Rory Gilmore. Now enmeshed into the vocabulary of popular culture, the Gilmore Girls (2000-2007) serves as a paragon of the perfect world that […]

 
Russell’s Brand

A lot of people find it a bit hard to swallow what Russell Brand is telling them they should. The cheeky English geezer, most well known for his stand up work and appearances in films like Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek, has profited from his persona as a witty sex addict […]

 
Issues Cheat Sheet: National Disability Insurance Scheme

There has been a lot of talk lately about the National Disability Insurance Scheme. Most of the talk has (of course) centred on quibbles between state and federal parties as to how much funding each side should kick in. Now, with funding matters apparently cleared, the details of the scheme are beginning to emerge and […]

 
The Right Side of Campus

Visit any university campus during student election week and you’ll meet student politicians. Hundreds of the tired little sods working day in, day out for your vote. On face value, they present a smorgasbord of voting options for the average student. Stand Up, Unite, Sit Down, Activate, Left Action, Left Inaction, they’re all there, and […]

 
Totall Recall

On 7 October 2003, California’s first ever gubernatorial recall election–only the second in American history–was held after a sufficient number of signatures were collected. The ballot had two questions. The first one, asking whether the sitting Governor Gray Davis should be recalled from office, received a 55.4% ‘yes’ vote. The second asked who should replace […]

 
The Long War

When an explosion tore through Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport in 2011, headlines went up around the world: “Terrorist Bombing Leaves 35 Dead”, “Carnage At Key Russian Airport”, “Security Lapse Blamed For Deadly Attack”. The articles that followed these headlines offered little context: readers learnt the ‘what, where, and when’. Yet, as is all too common with […]

 
10 Things I Hate About First Years

1. I hate how you flounce around in universities in packs, with this grand confidence now that you’re all grown up. 2. I hate how you think clubs and societies sausage sizzles are god’s gift to society. 3. I hate how you wear heels and tiny-winsey miniskirts to university in May. 4. I hate how you […]

 
Obamarama: Four Years Later

2008 will always be one of the most exciting years of my life. Barack Obama captured the imagination of millions of American voters and millions more around the world. He tantalised us with the prospect of an African-American ascending to the Presidency and wowed us on the campaign trail en route to claiming an emphatic […]

 
Spy-Fi: Wireless Intrigue

The students took their seats and got ready for their electrical engineering lecture. As the ruckus settled, the lecturer stood up and began to drone. All went as planned for the first fifteen minutes. Then the PowerPoint went black. Words began to appear on the screen, as if typed. They read: “Fuck this. I’m going […]

 
All That She Is

Few people were surprised when Anna Funder won this year’s Miles Franklin Award for her new novel about anti-Nazi activists in the 1920s and 30s, All That I Am. Demonstrating a passion for challenging political literature, All That I Am joins her Samuel Johnson Prize winning nonfiction work about psychological terror in East Germany, Stasiland. […]

 
Music Roundup

R. Kelly – Write Me Back As a person of sound mind, I have never listened to R. Kelly before and all I knew about the man was that he was accused of peeing on some ridiculously young girl a few years back. However, Write Me Back is surprisingly fantastic… it’s like if Burt Bacharach […]

 
The Shire: Where the Shit Is At

The young man on screen drives a surfboard-loaded ute down a pier. Objectively speaking, he’s good-looking with his slicked-back hair and muscles. He starts narrating in an ocker accent: “Welcome to The Shire. We call it ‘God’s Country.’” This is Mitch, one of the many rich and tanned kids that make up the cast of […]

 
Celebrating 75 Years of Student Theatre

Okay, Dig are downstairs, is anyone using the stage? Doll are putting makeup on, and we’re on in 10. CTG have worked out their surtitles and Gus has the changes. No, I don’t know what happened to the flowers, last time I saw them they were by the sink. Bella and Gabi to the stage […]

 
James Whitmore and Other Animals: Sacculina

A rhizocephalan doesn’t really have a common name. Perhaps that’s because it doesn’t look like much. But this spineless invertebrate spins a tale of high romance, of commitment and sacrifice, and an intimacy of the closest kind. The scientific name of this Hugh Grant of the animal kingdom is Sacculina, a slightly unappealing title but […]

 
Questions & Answers: Marty Smiley

You may have noticed a little less energy in your media class this semester. Or one less fro’ bobbing along South Lawn in a multicoloured jacket. That’s because Melbourne uni student Marty Smiley has packed his bags for a new life in Sydney. Why? Marty has loved music all his life, has wanted to be […]

 
The Bedroom Scholar: Mood Music

Early in the 20th century, society condemned jazz and blues for their sexual nature and bawdy lyrics. In the ’50s, rock ‘n’ roll caused no less scandal. Today, Barry White’s deep voiced songs resonate as typical ‘make out’ tunes and most music clips are akin to pornography. Of the popular music produced in the last […]

 
From Rags to Riches

We all know pop culture is prone to exaggeration. There has been one particular issue, however, that takes the cake. Warning: I’m about to say something that will make most of your cringe, possibly want to run away in terror, or at the very least close the magazine in a fit of disgust. Period. There, […]

 
Another Messy Bedroom: Anne Culmell

Lately I’ve been living vicariously through the delightfully devious prose of Miss Natalie Diney, the regular writer of this column. She has a Mega Babe! They do exciting things like go to Mardi Gras and Sexyland! And they’re in toe-tingling love (published love too, surely the tertiary student’s equivalent of being sung a love song in […]

 
Poisonous Old Union Theatre

Union Theatre has been closed to allow for the removal of asbestos in the ceiling. It is anticipated that the theatre will remain closed until the end of October. As many as eight productions were booked into the Union Theatre during this period and have been forced to find alternative venues. On 10 August 2012, […]

 
Livin’ in the Sharehood

The days of borrowing a cup of sugar from your neighbour when you realise you’ve fucked the grocery run when baking a cake seem to have been over for a while now. You don’t know your neighbours. Or you think, “Why on earth would they want to lend me their sugar?” Or you’re scared they’ll […]

 
Course Cuts and Campus Changes at La Trobe and Swinburne

The Vice Chancellor at La Trobe University has been forced to flee student protests through the university’s underground tunnel network. The protest was in response to a proposed restructure to the Humanities and Social Sciences Faculty at La Trobe University. The proposal would see the number of subjects available in the faculty halved, as well […]

 
Leon

I can’t hear anything, heat floods my face and my palms become two heavy sponges. The spit in my mouth turns to glue. I bend off the side of the verandah to dry retch and then sit on the edge of a cane chair that’s covered in rolled-up newspapers. The verandah looks over a large […]

 
eastry

pockets of air trapped. the icy roof of a lonely trough a glassy captor. they’re shifting. cracks appear like roots. tap softly, and they will grow gaps slowly open up and scream at the cold. above, spectrous smoke fills my nose the smell of the ember is crackling. disturbed the fragments float, upturned adrift in […]

 
#Batfleck

Last month Warner Bros announced that Ben Affleck had been cast as Batman in the upcoming Man of Steel sequel and the internet immediately shat itself. Within an hour of the announcement over 100,000 tweets were posted on the subject and 12 hours later there were over 500,000. #Batfleck was born. And it wasn’t just […]

 
History’s Greatest Chumps: Tycho Brahe

Tycho Brahe was the first person of note to record their observations of the heavens in what we would now regard as a scientifically rigorous manner. The Danish nobleman and astronomer was also the last to do so without the aid of a telescope. He challenged the Aristotelian idea that stars were fixed, eternal points […]

 
Melbored: The Docklands

If myki were a public monument, it would be the Southern Star. Standing 120 metres tall and towering over the Docklands suburb, the Star ferris wheel was supposed to be Melbourne’s answer to the London Eye. It was supposed to turn postcode 3008 into a bustling tourist hub. It was supposed to give Waterfront City […]

 
Travel Safe

Before I left Australia I was told again and again to be safe. The look on my mum’s face when I waved goodbye at Tullamarine was not far from the expression she wore in a dream I once had—a dream in which I was being executed. It wasn’t just my parents either. My friends were […]

 
Closet Minded: The Case of the Closet

There’s a great deal of irony in a column called ‘Closet Minded’ that has never mentioned the closet. Or perhaps to discuss closets and queerness would deflate the pun-ny potential of the column’s title? Irony or not, a recent conversation with a friend and his boyfriend’s coming out got me thinking. What does ‘the closet’ […]

 
Overclock Your Brain

Do you wish you could prod your brain with a small amount of electricity to extract that top-notch Marx quote, which fleetingly held a conscious place in your mind but has, while having a rousing conversation about class struggle, plummeted into oblivion? Do you wish you could stimulate your brain into recalling exactly how labile […]

 
The Man Pill

High school sex ed usually involves an encyclopaedia of contraceptive options for women, and a single message for men—suit up or face the consequences. But it’s not long until teenage boys get just as many confusing contraceptive options as their female counterparts. The female contraceptive pill is so lauded as a hallmark of women’s sexual […]

 
Polls Apart

Political opinion polls: virtuous insight into the mind of the electorate or obsession that undermines the political process? In 1940, George Gallup—father of the modern political poll—declared them the tool to “take the pulse of democracy”. Though it would seem that now we have hooked our political process up to life support, scrutinising every minor […]

 
Union Boss Unger Quits

The CEO of the student union’s corporate arm, Clemens Unger, has resigned after a six-week leave of absence. A letter to staff dated 31 August informed them that he had resigned for “personal reasons”, effective five days earlier. The letter also stated that Trevor White, who has acted as CEO during Unger’s leave has been […]

 
Student Politics in the Age of Apathy

There was a moment during the recent University of Melbourne Student Union election week that will probably stay with me for life. Rounding a corner near Old Arts I stumbled across a senior candidate from one of the major tickets, who had trapped a harried-looking international student next to a wall. Flapping campaign paraphernalia in […]

 
What Should I Bring?

We stand around the barbeque, socialising paralysed in the underbelly of suburbia And I notice there are mini-humans everywhere tiny dribbling beings, skulking on the periphery guarded by swollen abdomens (harbouring even smaller beings) But they are slippery and steal away My partner says maybe we should go I feel the same but one of […]

 
Believing in Magic

There is some magic in this world: not wanting to be solved but savoured. It’s in the soft curve of a lover’s back where a little morning light pools and ripples. It’s in the faces of summer’s children with vanilla ice cream on their noses and pink sugar in their hair. In the smell of […]

 
Urban Songlines

Nu-brick nervous hymns rattled off beneath pigeon shit pyramids You’re a visitor here avoiding the false light tears through night dreaming gauze You’re more than after party tipsy You used to be fearless You won’t take risks with colour and noise Catch yourself conjuring storms The charming magician redundant in tights Now you tiptoe Nylon-soft […]

 
The Morning After

Dazed and disoriented Hers is the sway of a sleepwalker With blush suffused cheeks and starry eyes She gazes up at an unfixed point and sighs Her gait is languid a groggy saunter underwater “No thank you. I’m sorry, excuse me.” The lights and language so intensely loud weaving through the city crowd her mind […]

 
Rutherford

Life, like the universe, is made mostly of nothing: the spaces between matter, or things that matter. And the really great moments are like “flies in a cathedral”- dwarfed and made insignificant by the monumental vacuum they inhabit, anomalous.

 
no, sleep

arching, light has scuttled under my lids agape lips begging to drip with the vomit of my heart raw soles wade in the beads from my skin sleeplessly feasting knowing you are cold in a locked bed.

 
Border Crossing: Mithila Express

This piece is a continuation of Border Crossing: Nepal to India which appeared in edition six. After an easy exit through Nepalese border security, my fiancée Jess and I are confronted immediately by the complexity of India. On entry into Raxhaul in north-east India we are dragged into an immigration office by four rotund men […]

 
No Applause Please–This is Serious

To many classical musicians, the words ‘crossover artist’ invoke an involuntary cringe, palpitations, and a carefully suppressed financial jealousy, usually expressed with a variation on the phrase ‘that’s not real music’. The likes of André Rieu and Josh Groban are seen to have sold out, placing money before musical integrity, promoting the commodification of art, […]

 
For an Internity

Undertaking an internship is increasingly becoming a prerequisite to full-time employment. The Fair Work Ombudsman has recently instigated a review of internships in Australia, the finding of which could have important implications for students and graduates. Students in degrees such as healthcare and education have long established placement programs. Others, especially in media or the […]

 
Wanted: Child-Friendly Sharehouse

Lewis received the call ten minutes before collecting his six year old daughter, Jessica, from school. The conversation was brief. The voice on the other end of the line said the room was already taken. Lewis ended the call and began to massage the back of his neck. It was Friday afternoon. That left five […]

 
Who Killed Jack Mackerel?

Something strange is happening off the coast of Tasmania. In August, the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) reported that tropical fish were turning up in cold seas usually home to temperate marine life. In nearby waters, the Dutch trawler Margiris was granted permission to fish in Australian waters by the Australian Fisheries Management […]

 
New Goals

The football field is the Mecca of Australian masculinity, where weakness is the enemy. Sledging your man by spitting “faggot” at him is as common as hot pies and cold drinks. It is in this place that a gay man is most terrified to speak the truth about his sexuality. Jason Ball, 24, thought he […]

 
Playing with Pride

Footballer Tom Wilson reflects on the realities of sexuality in sport, and the importance of an inclusive AFL culture. I sit in my room, door closed, and watch Gus Johnston’s video again. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched it on Youtube, more than 20 perhaps. Gus played hockey for most of his life […]

 
Sylvia Plath & The College Girl Mentality

“Sylvia Plath—interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college girl mentality.” —Woody Allen as Alvy Singer, Annie Hall  It was 11 February 1963 when a nurse and a workman broke into Sylvia Plath’s flat and found the poetess with her head in the oven, her babies crying upstairs. It’s a story […]

 
Romance Novels Need Love Too

Just like how the Greek kept watching Oedipus even though they all knew what was going to happen, we read these novels not for profundity, but because it’s cathartic.

 
Specifically Vague

Many students are familiar with that red-ink criticism scrawled near an essay paragraph: ‘vague’. But what does it mean—what is ‘vague’?  Dictionary definitions of ‘vague’ equate it with a lack of clear meaning, along the lines of ‘vagueness arises whenever the meaning of a phrase is not clear to its intended audience’. So in the […]

 
Canon Fodder!

When we think of great literature, names that spring to mind are Shakespeare, Dickens and Austen. We either ignore or are ignorant of of Kathy Acker, E.L. Doctorow or Milan Kundera—just three names that are about to be compromised even more, as the English and Theatre Studies program recently announced a decision to cut three […]

 
Waking the Zombie: Reviewing the Reviewer

Recently, Farrago printed both an overwhelmingly positive review of a production I was a part of, FLW’s The History Boys, and an overwhelmingly negative review for another I wasn’t. Whilst it might have been easier to take the congratulations for The History Boys and run, something didn’t sit right with me about the tenor of […]

 
The Show Must Go On

You can’t trust the stage. You can revel in it, experiment on it, be moved by it and bitch about it long into the night, but trust it? No deal. Who can blame this old pal of ours? Its disloyalty to the expectations of absolutely everyone involved is actually what preserves it as a valuable […]

 
Fregmonto Stokes

There are those who label Australian history as boring and cringe-worthy. Others simply don’t want to confront the racist nation of our history books. But for Fregmonto Stokes this is what makes Australian history worth revisiting. As the writer of the newest Union House Theatre production 1938: An Opera, Fregmonto and his team bring to […]

 
Just Keep Digging

Recently, I attended a theatre workshop hosted by the DIGCollective and I can safely say it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Comprised of Alex Talamo, Michael Fee, Dana McMillan, David Harris, Tim Sneddon, Grace Cumming and Josh Lynzaat, the DIG Collective is a Melbourne based theatre collective that last year […]

 
Animation Elation

When I was fourteen, my favourite TV shows involved oversized weaponry and frenetic light shows masquerading as battles. Anime characters lost limbs on a regular basis. My unimpressed father proclaimed me “too old for cartoons”—a confusing assertion from someone who lists The Lion King as a cinematic masterpiece.  Nevertheless, it’s a common claim: liking cartoons […]

 
Review: Lore

Lore is unlike any war film you’ve ever seen before. This German-Australian co-production focuses its attention on the children of a Nazi SS officer and their struggle to adapt to post-war life in the wake of what their parents have done. After her father is arrested and her mother surrenders, young teenager Lore (played by newcomer […]

 
Review: Ruby Sparks

Ruby Sparks begins with the clichés: a lucid dream, an empty apartment and a has-been author battling writer’s block. Yet when it becomes apparent that the homebound, sex-deprived author’s prose has real-life implications, the Will Ferrell alarm bells go into overdrive. Is Ruby Sparksthe reincarnation of 2006’s innovative comedy Stranger than Fiction?  The similarities between […]

 
Review: On The Road

Director Walter Salles and screenwriter Jose Rivera have teamed up once again to capture the American road in the adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s quintessential beat-gen travel tale On The Road. Ravenous for adventure, young writer Sal Paradise (Sam Riley) and hedonistic renegade Dean Moriarty (Garrett Hedlund) charge across the American plains in their ’49 Hudson. They […]

 
David Byrne & St. Vincent – Love This Giant

Love This Giant is wonderful. The clattering brass, sheer musicality, and rich songwriting of the ridiculously talented David Byrne and Annie Clark are a revelation in what idiots call ‘art music’.  David Byrne is an unquestionable genius, and if you have never heard the magic of the Talking Heads, you should be greatly ashamed of […]

 
Profile: Oh Pep!

In Melbourne, there are about as many bands swindling for a break as there are cigarette butts stamped out along the steps of Flinders Street station. To find the proverbial shining treasure among the trash or the sharpest needle among the haystack requires quite simply a huge-ass rake of some description. On-the-brink folk band Oh […]

 
James Whitmore & Other Animals: The Superb Fairy-Wren

Spring is in the air in Melbourne. After winter, pink buds on the cherry trees burst forth with delicate blossoms. The air positively throbs with the perfume of flowers and the buzzing of birds and bees. One of the loveliest of the city’s residents is hopping about in gardens and parks in charming little families. […]

 
The Bedroom Scholar: Abstinence

After discussing sex all year, it seems the time is ripe for some abstinence. And I don’t mean the I-couldn’t-get-a-date-so-I-dated-myself brand of abstinence. I’m referring to a binding vow of celibacy in which one willingly, even wilfully, goes without intercourse. In our current sexualised and romanticised society the subject feels almost taboo. A feeling of […]

 
On Fighting and Healing

“Smile – it’s good to be alive.” I hear our instructor’s voice as I lie on the grass, arms by my side, looking at the sky. Overhanging branches divide an otherwise endless blue. I’m not exactly smiling. It’s more of a grimace. A kid playing soccer looks over, wondering why a bunch of grown-ups are […]

 
My Messy Bedroom

Recently I’ve been trying to sort out the kinks in my sex life. Not the whole ‘non-monogomous’ thing with Mega Babe – that’s going about as smooth as her sweet ass. But the more specific kinks in my messy bedroom; for instance how hard do I want to be spanked and are cable ties safe […]

 
For The Love Or Hate of Macarons

I have long detested macarons. They may look cute and colourful and promise ridiculous flavours, but these undeservedly popular biscuits frequently fall short of yumminess, and are pricey to boot. I set out to discredit the macarons, but unfortunately, while researching this article I came across some that won my reluctant, humiliated heart. Not to […]

 
Profile: John Helmer

John Helmer currently resides in a small shared office on the second storey of the Old Arts building, a somewhat low key homecoming after so many hears. Helmer, one of the 1964 editors of Farrago, has spent the past 25 years based in Moscow, covering Russian big business: a constantly evolving world of mega-wealthy ‘oligarchs’ against […]

 
Petition to Disaffiliate Socialist Alternative

A petition to disaffiliate the Socialist Alternative from the student union will be tabled at the next Clubs and Societies Committee meeting, following allegations of harassment on campus. The petition says that the motion to disaffiliate is because the Socialist Alternative club has broken the Clubs and Societies regulations, It cites the regulations in that […]

 
Yet More Asbestos

The George Paton Gallery has temporarily closed its doors to artists while the air is monitored for airborne asbestos fibres. The gallery, situated on the second floor of Union House, expects to reopen in late October once it has received a full clearance certificate. Trevor White, CEO of Melbourne University Student Union Ltd (MUSUL), specified […]

 
Still Standing After Narrow Election Result

Afer that brief period when colour-coded candidates wave flyers at students walking into the Baillieu (a.k.a. election week), University of Melbourne Student Union (UMS) office bearers, students’ council and committee members for 2013 have been elected. Stand Up! won the ballot by a very narrow margin, with about 51 per cent of formal votes for […]

 
Vice-Chancellor Glyn Davis to Participate in OurSay Forum

Students will get the chance to grill their Vice Chancellor and other key university decision makers in a forum project run by online engagement group OurSay.  The University of Melbourne Student Union and Vice Chancellor’s Office have accepted invitations to take part in the project. From 14 September students have been invited to post questions […]

 
Review: The Loneliest Planet

It all begins with a naked red-haired woman. She jumps up and down, creaking the floorboards with every bounce. She appears distraught, if not mentally unstable. The scene makes no sense, but that’s okay. The film has only just begun; you reason that surely things will explain themselves in due time. They don’t. Indeed, with […]

 
Auteur 101: The Coen Brothers

Joel and Ethan Coen hold the distinction of being arguably the most acclaimed American filmmaking duo of recent times. They jointly write, produce and direct all of their projects, as well as assuming the role of editor under the pseudonym of Roderick James. Their films are distinguished by a willingness to offer a unique take […]

 
10 Times Buzzfeed Gives You Life

When you just HAVE to know what will happen when girls lift weights with their vaginas “Women Try Vaginal Weightlifting For The First Time” is not a headline I ever expected to read. Yet I did, and I read the article, and I watched the entire accompanying video. It was great.   When they post […]

 
Quick Classics: Great Expectations

In sum Ragged orphan Pip meets a convict, then an old lady who makes up in tragi-cunning for what she resolutely lacks in marbles. Adventure is had, naiveté exploited, and any hope for London as a cheerful getaway destination profoundly ruined. Why the world thinks you should read it One the the great Victorian novels, grand sweeps of […]

 
CTRL+ALT+LIT

When alt lit darlings Tao Lin and Megan Boyle—writers and editors of niche publisher Muumuu House—married in a quickie Vegas ceremony, they filmed it and dropped the news via a live Q&A webstream. If anyone out there is confused about what alt lit is, that might be the best way of explaining it. Anti-privacy, writers […]

 
Ale-ing Knowledge

Imagine the stereotypical Aussie beer-drinker. Now replace that wife-beater singlet with an ironic shirt, the sticky carpet with a roof top bar, the sausage in his hand with some gluten free treats. The words leaving his lips are not “a pot of VB”, but instead the names of Melbourne based microbreweries. This is the beer-drinker […]

 
Melbored: Melbourne Trains

If getting there is half the fun, then Melbourne must be a very fun city. As thrilling as it is to snare a bargain at Victoria Market, or to catch a six at the MCG, getting stuck on a train is the quintessential Melbournian experience. For a city perpetually acknowledged as the world’s most liveable, […]

 
Tram Tracks: Alana

The first day of uni was a warm one and it was on this day that I threw Alana off her game, after her trip on the number 6 tram up Swanston St. Heading off to the first class of her Bachelor of Science, she chose Missy Higgins to start off her morning, with her new […]

 
Gold Digging

When Harold Lasseter set off on his fateful trek almost 80 years ago, he could scarcely have imagined that his tale would become a source of endless fascination for prospectors and conspiracy theorists alike. As the story goes, Lasseter claimed to have discovered a miles-long quart reef filled with gold in a remote part of […]

 
The Year in Film

More than ever, it seems that audiences are staying in and watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad and Suits rather than venturing from the comfort of the couch to the local cinema. Yet 2013 was a great year for film, particularly smaller studio pictures and independent films, which were rife with originality, compelling stories, […]

 
History’s Greatest Chumps: All of the Chumps

Over a year of writing libellous things about historical figures, a columnist learns a number of things that, for one reason or another, he just cannot find space to mention. It doesn’t seem to matter now, so, the following people are chumps. Pyrrhus One of the best-regarded generals of the ancient world was fighting in […]

 
Sext In The City

I’d like to pretend that I’m proudly progressive and enjoy a little kinky lesbian bondage with my cereal in the morning, but quite frankly, I just can’t carry that look off. It’s probably just as well–during the process of writing that sentence, I dribbled my caramel infused instant coffee onto my chest. The truth is […]

 
Psyched Up

The geriatric dude’s overtaking me. Again. I take a look behind because I’m sure someone’s laughing at me. It’s raining and I’m jogging around Princes Park. I wanna throw up in my coach’s face. Rest assured, this is all part of my genius plan to kick social anxiety’s ass—by putting myself in situations that interest […]

 
The Accidental Francophile

It started innocently enough. A quick browse; a form of pre-work procrastination, which had become part of a mundane routine honed over the summer. Where five minutes before my intensely laborious shift of selling t-shirts, I’d find myself picking through the sloppily-stocked shelves of a certain chain stationary store (begins with “T”). I’d use any […]

 
D.I.Y. Nation

So we have a new PM, and maybe you have your sights set on a new nationality. Have you ever thought, fuck it, I’d do a much better job of running the show? In other words, have you ever considered utilising the law of secession? No? Let me introduce you to the individuals who hated […]

 
Abbott: 1 | Australia: 0

At the end of a disastrous and depressing year for the left in Australia, Labor has finally elected a new leader in a refreshingly democratic process. But Bill Shorten has inherited a mess of a party. It may be tempting, as many progressives did in the weeks after the election, to get angry at the […]

 
#makemyuni

The university is considering rooftop gardens, nap pods and Fed-Square style big screens, after a survey into the campus buildings and amenities. According to the #makemyuni survey, students and staff at the University of Melbourne want better transport, food and seating facilities. “We have received a great deal of valuable input and insight into the […]

 
UMSU Gets Info on Queerphobic Teachers

The student union’s Queer Department are asking students to officially report any queerphobia they have experienced in their classes at university. This comes after allegations were made to Queer Officer Galih Pangestu that lecturers and tutors were failing to provide a safe space for all students, which is a university policy. Pangestu says that five […]

 
Who Even Are You?

Walking into Senator John Madigan’s office it’s obvious he’s not your average politician. Ned Kelly paraphernalia adorns the walls. A plethora of blacksmithing tools, a nod to his former vocation, are displayed about the room. Madigan is the Democratic Labor Party’s (DLP) first Federal member in over 40 years. His 2010 Victorian Senate victory was […]

 
Little Change in Student Leadership

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) annual election has decided next year’s student reps. Students voted for the positions of office bearers, student council and committee members across five days on Melbourne University campuses. Stand Up! Candidate Declan McGonigle will carry on Stand Up!’s hold of the Presidential position with a win of 55 […]

 
More Than Left And Right

Matthew Lesh responds to Edition Two’s feature ‘Same Love’. Earlier this year the parliaments of the UK and New Zealand passed bills in overwhelming support of marriage equality to the second reading. In both cases this success was facilitated by a conscience or free vote by their respective non-Left parties. While the Australian Liberal Party […]

 
Malcom Fraser: The View From Here

Derrick Krusche talks to ex-Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser. I walk into Malcolm Fraser’s office high up in 101 Collins Street and look down to the banks of the Yarra. A crowd gathers to catch a glimpse of talk show host Ellen DeGeneres. I turn back and reflect on two types of public figure, celebrity and […]

 
The Literalist

I Reading between the lines I was trying to find the hidden message, but all I could see was white gaps of paper between ink and an array of editorial marks. II You put words in my mouth You crammed the vowels underneath my tongue, let me choke on your name. The ts caught in […]

 
Let Me Tell You About Rooty

A Personal Essay on Part Time Work and Strudel Let me tell you about Rooty, whose real name is Rudolpho and whose nickname is Rudy. But really, ‘Rooty’ is a better fit. My dentist’s assistant once told me, giggling with disbelief from behind her surgical mask, that he was a very handsome man in his […]

 
Goings

you were bored two sunny days last year when you made the bouquet of flowers and hung the crushed paper from my ceiling what a lady-like thing they were you strung them up like six milk teeth hoisting the thread around the door knob until a crick sprung up to the left of your neck […]

 
Tram Tracks: Meera

With an excellent publication smuggled into her backpack (it may or may not have been the second edition of Farrago), trumpeter Meera presented an eclectic mix of tracks. Ray Charles’ classic tune ‘Shake Your Tail Feather’ is a great get up and go track for the early classes she takes. She backs it up with the […]

 
Cultural Policy

James Zarucky investigates the Government’s first cultural policy in over twenty years. Last month saw the release of the Federal Government’s long-awaited national cultural policy, Creative Australia. Launched by the then Arts Minister Simon Crean, it’s the first federal cultural policy to be unveiled in almost 20 years. The previous one was commissioned by the […]

 
New Young Adult Shit

Veronica Sullivan looks at smut and literary classification. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a young person. Maybe you enjoy reading. If so, you are–whether you like it or not–part of the target demographic for ‘new adult fiction’, a genre invented to bridge the gap between young adult and general fiction. New adult books are aimed […]

 
Around the World in Film

Declan Mulcahy injects you with some film knowledge for wanky pub convos. France Jean-Luc Godard’s Pierrot Le Fou (1965) There’s no better entry point into world cinema than the influential films of the French New Wave. Jean-Luc Godard’s tenth major feature is a technicolor dream, with moments of postmodern absurdity balanced out by stunning cinematography. Italy Fredrico Fellini’s La […]

 
S(cannes)dals

Zoe Moorman takes you through the most controversial moments of the Cannes Film Festival. Riot Sometimes, the show can’t go on. In 1968, Cannes was set against the backdrop of massive political unrest–beginning with a small meeting of socialist students who occupied the Paris University at Nanterre. After the arrest of these students, others protested. Their […]

 
History’s Greatest Chumps: St. Aloysius Gonzaga

Saint Aloysius Gonzaga’s birth name was Luigi, but despite this, he did not assist his shorter, fatter brother in rescuing kidnapped princesses, consuming dangerous quantities of shrooms and beating the shit out of turtles. If he had been anything like that green-garbed, ghost-hunting Italian stereotype, he would be great, and therefore could not possibly be […]

 
The Melbourne Magistrate’s Court

When people put together their bucket list, going to court doesn’t usually make the cut. Much like prisons, brothels, and the Docklands, the courts are one of those places Melbournians have cruelly stigmatised. I personally don’t read much into the bad reviews. After all, my most recent court appearance was an engrossing morning of entertainment. […]

 
To Be An Animorph

Dan Wood wants to be a turtle. Why do we love pets? Why do we develop such strong familial relationships with dogs, cats, birds and even dead-eyed fish? Such relationships are especially puzzling when the animal serves no utilitarian end. When a beagle helps you hunt pheasant, or a dodo installs your naked ADSL, it’s practical […]

 
Macs–WTF

In class the other day the tutor was making sure that everybody was familiar with our readings and assessment. “It’s all on the LMS,” she said, by way of summary. “Has everybody managed to log on and have a look?” It was really a rhetorical question because it was assumed that everybody had. Some people […]

 
Incommunicado

This time last year, I was having a not-very-fun-time recovering from chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). I spent a lot of time declining invites to house-parties and hang-outs because the prescribed treatment for CFS is rest. And lots of it. When I wasn’t catching Zzzs I was surveying the Internet for everything Henry Rollins (ageing punk […]

 
Alone Again (Unnaturally)

These days, everyone seems to be getting together. Or complaining about not getting together. Like, ever. Being famously single amongst friends, I’ve begun to take notice of a stigmatised singleness especially within my social circles, what with everyone hooking-up and all. Whether it’s purely the popularity of Taylor Swift’s anger-fuelled album Red feeding friends to get […]

 
That Pope Cray

Rose Johnstone looks at the history of eccentricity amongst leaders of the Catholic faith. Pope Stephen VI (896-97) Pope Stephen VI had a revenge problem. You see, Steve wanted Pope Formosus, his corrupt predecessor, to pay for his sins…despite the fact that he was already dead. So, as anyone would do in such a situation, Pope […]

 
Breaking Bad

Blood drips from the ceiling as you stare through the gaping hole where a bathtub used to be. A human head glued to the back of a tortoise explodes. As a plane crashes overhead, a little pink teddy bear, half burnt and eerily staring at the sky, is fished from the bottom of a pool. […]

 
Tea for Me

I first realised the importance of tea when I was on the side of a Japanese mountain, aged sixteen. Meandering among the rows of green leaves I lazily picked those that appeared ‘healthiest’, living the dream of the Dilmah tea advertisements. I was going to provide the freshest green tea to my Japanese host family, […]

 
We Need to Talk…

To: Melbourne Global Mobility Cc: Arts Faculty, Melbourne Uni Bureaucracy Subject: We need to talk… Dear Melbourne Global Mobility, It hurts me to write this, it really does, but there are things that I need to say to you. You mean too much to me for dishonesty. We’ve had some great times together, but there […]

 
Ice Cream in Review

Ice cream is one of those rare things with the ability to make you feel better about life in an instant–much like baby sloths, the collected works of P.G. Wodehouse, and receiving word of the sudden and mysterious demise of your overzealous creditor. As conditions for the consumption of frozen confectionery grow increasingly optimal (that […]

 
Closet Minded: Bi-Naries

I never expected him to out himself as bisexual while we were watching Panic Room. Had I provoked it by showing the claustrophobic Jodie Foster thriller with a cardboard Kristen Stewart? I mean, she was sort of in a closet during the film, wasn’t she? We’d been going steady for a few weeks: a handful […]

 
University of Eugenics

The year is 2002, and the government has requested that University of Melbourne take inventory of its human remains collection. A slovenly research intern has been granted the prestigious task of ferreting around in the dusty archives of the Department of Anatomy and Cell Biology, on the hunt for any human-remains-related paperwork. This is the […]

 
For the Love of Labia

“I’m scared to be sexual with a boy because I think my vagina is ugly.” “Having long labia has been affecting my self-confidence for as long as I can remember and I knew that the only way I’d ever be happy would be by having the operation.” These stories of anxiety and body-consciousness are from […]

 
Murky Waters

Taking a cruise holiday sounds irresistible—casinos, wild parties, stopovers in foreign lands… For all that promise of relaxation, though, there is a dark underbelly to the industry. A federal inquiry into cruise ship crime reveals that while cruises are marketed as luxurious, the industry is rife with drugs, theft, sex offences, and even murder. If […]

 
Government To Review Uni Standards

Education Minister Christopher Pyne has announced that the new government will launch a review into Arts degrees in a bid to find any evidence of skills relevant to later life. Sources in the Education department say the review is the start of the process to remove Arts faculties from universities across Australia, with Mr Pyne’s […]

 
University Breadth Comes Full Circle

A joint carnival project with the City of Melbourne is the latest in Melbourne University’s attempts to make a Melbourne education more practical, following criticism of the theoretical nature of their degrees. Farrago has learnt that Parkville will soon acquire the mechanical pieces of Docklands project the Southern Star Observation Wheel, which will form the […]

 
Unimelb Don’t Like Carpools

We’re pretty lucky here at Melbourne University when it comes to transport options. We have Swanston Street, one of the world’s busiest tram corridors, on our doorstep. From the CBD, only a stone’s throw away, you can take a train along any one of 16 metropolitan and five regional lines. We’re also situated within a […]

 
Disabilities Department Begins

Sarina Murray and Jess Evans have been elected as the student union’s first disability officers, following the September student elections. Murray and Evans started their new roles at the end of the mid-semester break, and after winning both the by-election for 2013 and election for 2014, will serve until the end of next year. The […]

 
Membership Fees

The student union will implement a new voluntary membership model next year, in preparation for the end of the Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) under the new Abbott government. The move is yet to be approved by Students’ Council, but would mean that students who want to receive extra student union benefits will now […]

 
Magical Science

Screw all the dim memories of the new bicycle, the birthday pizza and the unlimited Fanta: it’s time to admit that your eleventh birthday was a catastrophic disappointment, and it’s all J.K. Rowling’s fault. Was it not she, after all, who suggested that on that day, a Hogwarts owl would arrive bringing the news that […]

 
Spin When You’re Winning

Daniel Carr looks at that little ol’ mining tax. Amongst the dollars and rhetoric thrown against Kevin Rudd’s mining tax, the definitions of pro-business and pro-market have been manipulated to suit the interests of those with the loudest voices. While the success of the PR war waged against the mining tax has been dissected countless […]

 
Ig Nobel Science

Science has a fantastic reputation for being dull and stuffy. If it isn’t about dinosaurs then quite frankly, the average person doesn’t want to hear about it. Even the auspicious occasion of the Nobel Prizes, the highest award possible for humanitarian or scientific achievements, gets little attention from the general public as it is–certainly when compared […]

 
Abbott’s Charm Offensive

John Harris on Tony’s luck with the ladies. Australian gender politics is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Tony Abbott’s wife, Margaret, has only given a handful of personal media appearances in her husband’s political career. Given how long that career has been, anyone can see the importance of her stepping out to […]

 
Damage Control

In January the Governor-General established a royal commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. According to the commission website, the six-person team chaired by Justice Peter McClellan AM, has the power to investigate ‘any private, public or non-government organisation that is, or was in the past, involved with children’. In a media conference in […]

 
Tiger & Patience

Tiger I know we’ve left the ground because I can feel my stomach twist. My feet are filling up with blood. One of the stewardesses puts her life jacket on upside down in the safety demonstration, and everybody dies with laughter. I wonder whether my seatbelt is really any use in a crisis, or whether […]

 
Autopsy

We met on Degraves Street. He had texted me the location. He was 25, skinny with some stubble, so I congratulated myself as, physically, he seemed quite attractive. We sat outside one of the cafés that line the laneway. It isn’t really relevant which one. It was one with the waitresses styling themselves on 50s […]

 
Theatre of Cruelty

French theatre-practitioner and opium addict Antonin Artaud’s First and Second Manifestos on the Theatre Of Cruelty did not advocate the use of abuse or sadism on its audience, as its name might suggest. Rather, it was for a brutal honesty in its representation of life’s essence. His writings were marked by visceral and dark descriptions […]

 
Review: Amour

Matthew Wade looks at the 2012 Palme d’or winner. Today, the idea of love lacks focus. The manner in which this emotion is elicited varies widely from person to person. Generational gaps, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and MTV reality shows are to blame for this, resulting in the obscurity of love. To some people love […]

 
All Aboard(game)

Ticket to Ride Ever wish you could have been a part of the glorious, forward-thinking days of the Industrial Revolution? Well, crack open Ticket to Ride, crank up Kraftwerk’s Trans-Europe Express and start building them choo-choos! The luxuriously large board starts as a beautifully illustrated map of whichever edition you’re playing (for example, Europe), but […]

 
Tassie-mania

At some point we all agreed to stop ignoring Tasmania. I’m not sure when it happened, but it did. It’s never been somewhere we could go without, really–cover it up on a map and the mainland just looks naked, like Australia left the house in a hurry and forgot to wear pants. Until recently, it was […]

 
UniWireless: Still A Bit Shit

The University of Melbourne will undertake major improvements to its ageing IT infrastructure in a bid to provide better services for staff and students. The University’s Network Improvement Programme aims to improve the accessibility, reliability and coverage of IT infrastructure, including the struggling UniWireless wi-fi network. UniWireless suffers from a range of issues, including prevalent […]

 
SGM-Free

The UMSU Special General Meeting (SGM) on April 16th, brought by a student petition to censure Students’ Council for passing a motion to celebrate the death of Margaret Thatcher, failed to reach quorum. Third year student Matthew Thomas collected over 500 signatures on a student petition that triggered the SGM. The petition called for the […]

 
NOWSA Time To Talk Women

Registration has opened for the 2013 Network of Women Students Australia (NOWSA) Conference at the University of Melbourne on 15-18th July. The annual conference for women students was established in 1987 and places a focus on discussion and skill-sharing. The theme for the 2013 conference will be ‘Problem? Patriarchy. Solution: Smash It!’. The University of […]

 
Same Love

Our federal politicians overwhelming voted against legislation to change the definition of the Marriage Act on September 19, 2012, rejecting gay marriage and leaving Australia lagging behind a growing number of gay-friendly states. Although the Labor Party voted to support marriage equality at its national conference in September last year, it also passed a motion […]

 
Ode to the Throne

Remember when people talked about Kanye instead of Kimye, and Jay-Z was more than just Obama’s bud? When Jay-Z and Kanye West recorded their album Watch the Throne back in 2011, it was the first time two hugely successful solo rappers both at the top of their game had collaborated on such a grand scale. In […]

 
Where the Bloody Hell Are You?

With the economy still booming, our mounting obsession with NYC’s bright lights and Vietnam’s cheap phõ could jeopardise any one of the 118,000 workers directly employed in Victorian tourism alone. Phoebe St John examines why we never travel Australia anymore. There I was. Ten minutes to midnight, pulling up in yet another foreign train station […]

 
Wreaths 2.0

A motion to lay a wreath at the Shrine of Remembrance for ANZAC Day has again been defeated in Students’ Council, with only three votes in its favour. The motion was brought by Charlie Cartney, NOW! Councillor and Policy Officer of the Melbourne University Liberal Club (MULC) and seconded by James Duncan, also a member of […]

 
Dream Large – But Not Too Large

The University of Melbourne has retained top spot amongst Australian universities in the Times Higher Education (THE) World University rankings, and has jumped up to 28th spot in the world from 37th last year. Despite this, in THE World Reputation Rankings, which look at opinion of universities rather than actual ranking position, the University of […]

 
A Porn-full Farewell

As of next year, students will no longer be able to legitimately claim they are studying pornography. The titillatingly-titled English subject Art/Pornography/Blasphemy/Propaganda (APBP) will be cancelled, in order to make room for new subjects in the program. As well as APBP, the subjects Backgrounds to English Literature and Postmodernism will run for the last time […]

 
Preventing Sexual Assault: There’s an App for That

Students returning to campus this year now have access to UniSafe—a smartphone app designed to increase safety on campus. The app bundles existing resources and facilities, giving students easier access to key services such as security escorts, blue safety telephone locations and emergency lines. The app includes a personal safety toolbox, which can set off […]

 
Preventing Sexual Assault: There’s an App for That

Students returning to campus this year now have access to UniSafe–a smartphone app designed to increase safety on campus. The app bundles existing resources and facilities, giving students easier access to key services such as security escorts, blue safety telephone locations and emergency lines. The app includes a personal safety toolbox which can set off […]

 
2013 Edition 3 Editorial

Anyone who had odds on us making a Margaret Thatcher effigy has just received an unlikely windfall. Oh, how a storm of excrement livens things up. For those mightily confused, this is all due to a controversial motion passed at Students’ Council (pg. 6). The motion is something which we at Farrago see as a series of […]

 
Sound Applause

What a relief to read a Farrago with some substance.

 
Down with VSU

Defend our Student Union!

 
Big Issues for the year

Teaching, learning and student representation.

 
O what a night!

Boring, dull and uneventful. These are three words that definitely weren’t associated with O-Night 2005. With massive performances from Tripod, Regurgitator and many more the night went off in style. Over 1,000 students attending the night, the biggest winner being the bar where alcoholic granitas flowed all night. Cinema Under The Sails on Tuesday 22nd […]

 
2005 Edition 1 Editorial

What is The Importance of Being Earnest?

 
Murder is Sah Mainstream

Ronnen Liezerovitz explores the joys of indie video games. This summer, I killed over a thousand people. Granted, they were only digital people, programmed by committed game developers and brought to my TV through action of electrons whizzing through my Playstation 3, but I killed them nonetheless. At the time, I was playing through the […]

 
Books for the year ahead

THE TENTH OF DECEMBER, GEORGE SAUNDERS, OUT JAN 8 Featured in The New Yorker and McSweeney’s, Saunders is often lauded as one of the most talented and original short-fiction writers in America. His stories, often unsettling and absurd, perfectly balance humour with a powerful and often lingering emotional impact. Why should you be excited? The […]

 
Das Racist

An obituary of sorts by Sean Watson. In the final days of December last year, Das Racist was scheduled to parade onto the main stage of Munich’s On3 Festival. But instead of being greeted by the irreverence of a rap trio all decked out in ironic and fluorescent sportswear, the audience were perplexed to find […]

 
Dick Turpin

Let me get this out of the way. Dick Turpin was a bit of a dick. In fact, he was worse than that. He was a chump. Dick Turpin was a violent thug who roamed the English countryside in the first half of the 18th Century. He was baptised in 1705 and began his career […]

 
Look Before You Leap

In 2012 Australia witnessed multiple efforts to eradicate the supposedly harmful trials and tribulations of childhood. A Victorian primary school temporarily banned physical contact between its students, including high-fives and hugs. Later in the year, a primary school in Sydney forbade its students from performing handstands or cartwheels in the playground, unless under the direct […]

 
Tram Tracks: Dan

Wednesday Morning, Melbourne Uni tram stop Massive Pioneer headphones in tow and fresh out of his psychology degree at Melbourne Uni, Dan had a Pitchfork approved set of tracks to get him through his public transport experiences. If you’re after something complicated, Dan recommends post-rock band Swans. He was cranking a track from their new […]

 
Douchebag

Michelle See-Tho chats to Josh Thomas about his new TV show, the stand up comedy industry, and douche bags. With his cute ooh-where’d-he-come-from accent, messy blonde hair and boyish smile, Josh Thomas is certainly one of Australia’s most recognisable and most adorable comedians. His new TV series Please Like Me is a comedy-drama series. “It’s […]

 
Fetish Night

I wondered what to call my new half-erect friend. Do you ask for people’s names at fetish clubs? Or more to the point, do you bother with pleasantries once they’re naked and bent over a coffee table–masturbating–while you rub baby oil onto their behind and spank them? I wasn’t there to get ‘his’ and ‘hers’ […]

 
Bad Bromance

I often see queerness in strange places—or more precisely, straight places. Call it misreading, call it wishful thinking, or maybe just call it social change. What’s the deal with bromance? I’m sure many of you have encountered this clunky phrase of brotherly romance. It’s often used when films like The Hangover or I Love You […]

 
iSkinhead

Michael Horn looks at the sinister reality of neo-Nazi music selling right alongside pop tracks. Today, the Australian iTunes store home page advertises Nick Cave’s new album, acoustic Justin Bieber and Bon Jovi and Justin Timberlake pre-orders. Australian singer-songwriters appear alongside K-Pop, and American rappers brush virtual shoulders with dead German composers. iTunes caters to […]

 
Close to home

It shocked the world, but for Ishita Mattoo it was just around the corner. She reflects on women’s safety in India from the ground in Delhi. On 16th December 2012, a 23-year-old woman—identified as Nirbhaya by sections of the Indian media—was brutally raped by a group of men in a moving bus. She was on […]

 
Fashionably Late Arts Student Centre

The newly opened Arts Students Centre in Arts West will set a new standard for student spaces on campus. The renovation, which was finished after its mid-February due-date, was designed with student consultation. In a Melbourne University first, the new student centre has scrapped the over-the-counter format and replaced it with a more casual meeting […]

 
NUS National Day of Action: Campus and city protests

As part of the National Union of Students’ National Day of Action, students across Melbourne will protest at the State Library in the CBD as well as on campus. The Day of Action will this year focus on fee deregulation in universities and fee increases. The protest is part of UMSU’s membership of the NUS, […]

 
Modern Narcissus

Narcissus under the nebulous blue,
I reflect the lagoon, I am opaque too.
I swirl my many selves
across silver screens, and as the silt settles,
open waters encroach an abyss

 
Medusa

Spider mother, witless in her dominion,
she hauls my heart through an unknown wilderness. All the while wearing a red smile,
cherry lips and a forked red tongue—
angels shed their gold before her.

 
bite!

i clean around baby’s mouth wide wide, open wider
and bite! my finger
bleeds like rhubarb
sticky and sweet as it dribbles down

 
but one life

in the ashtray lay
the smouldered remains
of moments—seized
and the stubbed out luxury
of not having to think for myself.

 
TALKING TO THE MOON

Talking To The Moon, hosted by Mary Chen, recently joined Radio Fodder’s 2021 line-up. The show is based on emotions and Mary unpacks a different emotion in each episode, from a personal perspective as well as a scientific approach.

 
The World of Dragons: The Metamorphosis Dragon

“To become a dragon, an imugi must prove worthy. Some do so by living for a thousand years. On this day, the transformation will begin, and they will become a true dragon. For others, this metamorphosis is not a matter of patience. If they can lay claim to a yeouiju, they will be bestowed with its gifts. These imugi can become dragons far sooner than their brethren.”

 
the encounter

As I wait for my tram
a woman sits next to me.
She cries, moans, curses.
Eyes down, hands knotted,
I ignore her
rather than subject her
to a stranger’s prying.

 
______ : The Collector

There is little we’re allowed to say about ______, but what we can
divulge may usurp your mind when least expected. Usually, it’s
while you’re dreaming in the dead of night, or the buzz of day, or
even when leaning your head on a shoulder, hoping for affection.

 
2021 Edition Three Flash Fiction: Fairytales with a twist

After 12 years of service, Deputy Prime Minister Mulan Hua has revealed that she is, in fact, a woman.

 
What the hell’s a MOOC?

Melbourne University is the first in Australia to join Coursera, an expanding online course provider. Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) are free and can be taken by anyone with internet access anywhere in the world. By partnering with Coursera the University joins 32 prestigious education institutions including Princeton, Stanford and Columbia Universities—a virtual Ivy League. […]

 
Slogans and Nonsense: The Perils of Predication

The copula is a hell-borne Hydra. The serpent in semantics. The bastard link at the heart of our mongrel language. The copula is the “is”. Ever-dependable, just when you think you are without it, it worms its way back in. Philosophers are famously unable agree on whether a chair is real or not, but they tend to agree that there are, all in all, three copulas. Alongside the is of identity (“Twice two is four”) and the is of predication (“Socrates is mortal”), there is the black-coffee

 
Race Against the Odds: Cherry-picking culture

content warning: racism

Cultural appropriation is like cherry-picking amongst cultures for the parts that interest you whilst overlooking the traditions or meanings behind them. It is when members of, usually, a dominant culture steal or take elements of another culture for aesthetic or economic purposes without any equitable exchange or even acknowledgement. However, cultural appropriation is different to cultural exchange, assimilation or appreciation. Eating pasta or using Korean skincare

 
Race Against the Odds: Living in the Matrix

Living as a queer Black woman and an intersectional feminist often feels like being force-fed the ‘red pill of truth’ from The Matrix while most of society seems to be happily swallowing the blue pill of ignorance. In fact, I’ve always wondered why the person destined to defeat the Matrix and essentially save society was a straight white man.[...]

 
Slogans & Nonsense (Edition 6)

Besides getting tenure, being compared to Alain de Botton, or writing columns for The New York Times, getting away with obscure prose is one of the most widely accepted signs of making it as a philosopher. It’s a signal that your time has become so valuable, you can effectively offload the task of writing by jumbling words together and leaving it to the poor undergrads reading your work to decipher the sentences. They call this the ‘obscure turn’.

 
Art Musing: Curating Mental Illness

content warning: discussions of mental illness

Founded in 2012, the Dax Centre holds a unique place in the Melbourne art world. The gallery holds the collection of leading psychiatrist and art therapy advocate, Dr Cunningham Dax. His collection began as some 9,000 works created by inpatients of Victorian psychiatric centres during the second half of the twentieth century. As these institutions began to close down in the 1980s, Dr Dax collected many works that would otherwise have been[...]

 
Slogans and Nonsense: What's Not in a Name?

Juliet: What’s in a name?
Romeo: Everything’s in a name Juliet; that’s how we got into this mess.
Juliet: That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet
Romeo: Yeah, good point well made.
Names have a use. It is easier to call a spade a spade than to call a spade a tool for digging, paring, or cutting ground etc. Around 1900, some philosophers made the startling discovery that not all words denote an object. Words like Santa Claus, God, fairies, love, Malcolm Turnbul

 
Against the #Girlboss

The productive “girlboss” narrative is destructive to all those affected by the patriarchy.

During the pandemic, I tried to be as productive as possible. I redownloaded Duolingo, read both fiction and nonfiction books, volunteered, and attempted to be good at drawing. But I struggled to do the bare minimum. And cried. A lot. Whilst listening to Taylor Swift.

 
Interstellar: Review

Interstellar follows the life of spaceman Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) as he travels the universe and contemplates his relationship with his daughter Murph (Jessica Chastain), while not really giving a shit about his son Tom (Casey Affleck). The presence of Tom is a powerful thematic force throughout the film, being a metaphor for the neglect we all face in our day-to-day life.

 
Race Against the Odds: Trending #BlackLivesMatter

content warning: mentions of death of BIPOC & death of Indigenous Australians in custody, police brutality, racial slurs, racism
Do you ever feel like your very existence makes other people uncomfortable? In 2020, the Black Lives Matter movement began to trend after a video of an African American man named George Floyd being killed by police was posted online. The video of Floyd’s death appeared on my social media countless times. I couldn’t help but picture Floyd as my Black father. My hea

 
University Drafting New “Gender Affirmation Policy” Condemning Transphobia

[content warning: transphobia] The University is drafting a new “gender affirmation policy” that may ban public acts deemed transphobic or attacking gender diversity. According to The Age, Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell had “warned” staff last June that their right to free speech does not excuse or protect them from causing harm against transgender people. This comes […]

 
War for the Planet of the Apes: Review

I have lovely memories associated with this film, so I hope I don’t sound dramatic when I say it’s the greatest work of art in the history of cinema. I concede this is a bold statement, but my reasoning is sound. Matt Reeves’ stunning science-fiction epic, War for the Planet of the Apes (2017), is […]

 
Review: Love Objects

Author:  Emily Maguire Publisher:  Allen & Unwin Year:  2021 Category: Contemporary Women’s Fiction/Drama Endearing, from the heart. Forty-five-year-old Nic seems to be on top of it all. She is living in her inherited family home (much to the chagrin of her estranged sister), has a stable job in a local supermarket which she has held […]

 
Review: “Who Killed John Lennon? The Lives, Loves and Deaths of the Greatest Rockstar.”

Author:  Lesley-Ann Jones Publisher:  Allen & Unwin Year:  2020 Category: Non-Fiction/Biography/Music  A must for fans of Lennon and The Beatles   It’s been over twenty years since the news of the death of rock music legend, John Lennon, hit the media. Since that time the music scene has been replete with rumours, facts and suspicions […]

 
milkbar

content warning: violence. it starts in the middle of the milkbar with me staring at the lolly wall, the colourful sweets locked inside their plastic compartments, allowed freedom only by their little scoopers and the hands of sweet-toothed teens – the freckles, the gummy babies, the milk bottles, the snakes – and i’m thinking of […]

 
Long-term Effects of Job-ready Graduates Package Still Uncertain

Background The Job-ready Graduate Package is expected to significantly reshape higher education pathways and impact many students across the country. However, it is anticipated that the impacts of the legislation, which passed in October 2020, will not be fully known for several years.  The package is set to see certain courses, primarily in the fields […]

 
UniMelb Policy Reversion Another Setback for International Students

UniMelb Policy Reversion Another Setback for International Students Vanessa Chan and Jiyun Kim  Unable to return to campus this semester, international students stuck overseas are now facing changes to Reduced Study Load (RSL) and Leave of Absence (LoA) eligibility.  With the University resisting to list COVID-19 as a compassionate reason for the RSL and LoA […]

 
COVID-safe Activism on Campus

Due to COVID restrictions, students and organisations at the University of Melbourne will have to rethink the way they protest this year. The University has a rich history of student protest, from Invasion Day marches to the die-in staged in the Arts West foyer on Open Day to protest the University’s participation in the 2019 […]

 
The Trials of Adolescence: Ginger Snaps

content warning: mentions of suicide, gore and body horror. Spoilers for Ginger Snaps (2000).  “Out by 16 or dead in this scene, but together forever.” This is how we’re introduced to Ginger and Brigitte Fitzgerald in the film Ginger Snaps (2000). They’re on the precipice of adolescence, reminiscing on their childhood suicide pact. Both are […]

 
Curly Hair: An Analysis

“Your hair is so cool! Can I feel it?” These are words I have grown accustomed to hearing throughout my entire life. Growing up in a predominantly white community, my mixed-race curly hair was seen as somewhat of a novelty. Friends, teachers at school, other adults and passersby all seemed to be drawn towards it. […]

 
The Little Things: A Partly Solved Mystery

When I was younger, the saying, “it’s the little things in life,” used to both annoy and confuse me. As adults would patiently explain, the smallest moments—another leaf sprouting from a houseplant, slipping into crisp, clean bed sheets—were the stuffing of life. The sustenance, the good stuff—the point, really. These wise explanations fell on deaf […]

 
Athlete or “Athlete”

I prefer not to talk about athletics outside the track. “You’re an athlete? So, are you going to Tokyo?”  “…No.” “Well, not with that attitude you won’t!” A well-intended response, but from someone who just doesn’t understand the elitism that the Olympic level demands. My attitude is not going to add an odd meter-and-a-half to […]

 
REVIEW: Sam Taunton – Rooster (Melbourne International Comedy Festival)

I first saw Australian comedian Sam Taunton perform in 2019 at the Palais Theatre, when he was the opening act for Rob Brydon’s live show I Am Standing Up. I remember thinking ‘Wow! What a great opening act!’, and wanted to see more of his work. And 2 years later, here we are. Taunton’s first […]

 
Concerns Arise as COVID-19 Supplement End-Date Looms

As financial supplements introduced by the government during COVID-19 are set to end on March 28, there is rising discussion over the potentially adverse impacts that this may have on tertiary students across Australia.  Whilst some students have been able to access such financial support, others have been excluded from receiving government welfare payments throughout […]

 
Review: Rippon Lea Estate Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears Exhibition

There is no better way to celebrate the fashion of Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears than by viewing it within Aunt Prudence’s very own home – otherwise known to non-Miss Fisher fanatics as Rippon Lea Estate in Elsternwick. In 2012, the ABC premiered Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, a detective series which followed the […]

 
“Enough is enough”: thousands rally at Treasury Gardens for Melbourne’s March 4 Justice

[content warning: gendered violence, sexual assault and deaths in custody] Thousands of women gathered in Treasury Gardens on a Monday 15 March to protest against gendered violence and sexual assault in the workplace. The rally was one of approximately forty similar events held across the country hosted by the March 4 Justice movement, a grassroots […]

 
Thousands Gather Outside State Library to Demand End to Refugee Detention

Thousands gathered outside the State Library on Friday 5 March as a part of a national day of protest against the indefinite detention of refugees in Australia. Hosted by several community organisations, including the Refugee Action Collective (RAC) and Stand Together for Justice, the rally called for all refugees in onshore and offshore detention facilities […]

 
‘Can we get a cheer for systemic oppression’: Talking racism within the VCA

The Victorian College of the Arts (VCA), with the Melbourne Conservatorium of Music, are one of the most influential art schools in the Southern Hemisphere. Graduates have gone on to become recognisable faces of screen and stage, to have artistic works displayed in major global exhibitions and to perform on the circuit of esteemed opera […]

 
In Defense of Taylor Swift’s reputation

I wish I could say that my first time listening to a Taylor Swift song was ~an experience so divine, it was like no other~ but that wouldn’t be true. The first time I heard her music, I was at my cousin’s house, who, like most other rich pre-teen girls in India, really, realllly wanted […]

 
The World of Dragons: The Burrowing Sand Dragon

“Apep was so long and large that, even laid flat, he was taller than any human. His roar was so loud and so powerful that even the earth would shake at its sound. The enemy of Ra and order, he emerged from below to bring darkness, thirsting for chaos and destruction. Many tried to stop […]

 
Overpopulation: Not a People Problem

content warning: racism, mentions of eugenics and genocide  Overpopulation can be defined as an excess of people on the planet, and the assumed environmental, social and/or economic collapse that results. It is often followed by ideas and actions about curbing such population dilemmas.  So, why is this idea an issue?  Overpopulation is a difficult discussion, […]

 
Politics

Politics is a dirty Word Mind frame Existence But remember: If you’re not interested in politics, Politics will be interested in you Imprisonment in death? Inevitable Imprisonment in politics? Avoidable I will never ever Lie Others will never ever Stop  Why? Life is unfair Hold up my sign at the parade    Careful!   The […]

 
The Trees in My Street

Arthritic hands line my street, Creaking and aching in the wind, Stiff knotted claws arcing warily away From the hum and snap of telephone lines.   Leaves flicker and wave at the sky, Quickly breaking from stems to flutter away. As the wind takes these papery children, The trees whisper hushed goodbyes, Groaning and reaching […]

 
University of Melbourne reopens campus through their ‘three-mode delivery’ system

After almost an entire year of remote learning, the University of Melbourne will be reopening to students in January 2021 through a three-mode delivery system for the First Half Year of 2021. This system includes online classes, campus-based classes, and dual-delivery where classes are taught both online and in-person. All students may enrol in dual-delivery […]

 
International students call on Victorian Government to improve support

International students experiencing financial hardship and food insecurity have called on the Victorian Government to improve support measures. The state government established a $45 million International Student Emergency Relief Fund in April 2020 to support students whose finances have been hit by reduced working hours or job losses.  However, the fund ignored unemployed international students, […]

 
Rolled Together

Unseen, I saw them as a spot of stillness in the sea of girls and suited commuters: Mum’s face a mask of serenity and Andy with his hands behind his back. I could’ve run right there. Gotten a place on Merrill Ave, swapped fetid city air with switchboard girls and pretty receptionists. A job and […]

 
Humans of Unimelb: Nicholas

This series zooms in on the lovely humans that make up our university community. In this edition, photography team member Candy Chu chats to Nicholas, a Masters of Public Policy student, about a fond childhood memory.  Q: Is there a fond memory from childhood you would like to share?  Nicholas (N): The one that I always remember […]

 
Snap Rally on Campus to Condemn Transphobia at the University

cw/ transphobia   Over 100 students and staff gathered at Parkville campus yesterday to protest against transphobic actions of University staff members.   The protesters gathered outside the Raymond Priestley building to listen to speeches by members of the University community before marching to Old Arts to speak to Faculty of Arts Dean Russell Goulbourne, […]

 
Review: Long Story Short (2021)

Long Story Short is a romantic comedy that depicts the consequences of always putting yourself first and forgetting about the most important people in your life. Director Josh Lawson uses Sydney’s picturesque beach side as a backdrop to tell the story of how Teddy (Rafe Spall) and Leanne’s (Zahra Newman) accidental New Year’s kiss develops […]

 
Nomadland: Poetry in Motion

One of Netflix’s haphazard movie genre suggestions I’ve always been confused by is feel-good. Common as the phrase is, unless my memory fails me, I can’t remember the last time that feeling rose organically out of a movie for me. Cue Nomadland (2020). Disclaimer: My fellow movie-goers disagreed with me. The first thing out of […]

 
Editorial: In Response to Facebook’s Australian News Ban

In response to the Federal Government’s proposed media bargaining code, all Australian news services—including student media—have now been banned by Facebook from publishing posts and sharing news links from their accounts. It is a bewildering and heartbreaking time for Australian media. In recent years, many student media outlets, Farrago included, have increasingly divested from print […]

 
Review: Trolls Just Wanna Violate The Geneva Conventions (Moonlight Cinema)

Let me start by saying this: I babysit. I love children—their big silly balloon heads and their ability to memorise movie songs and run around in gummy half-formed skeletons with absurdly placed centers of gravity. So if you know of any four-foot-and-under cartilaginous gremlins in need of a reliable babysitter who will haul them by […]

 
Review: “Rock This Bitch!” Ben Folds with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra

Self-deprecating, sarcastic and slightly crass Ben Folds would not be my first pick to headline an orchestra tour. His navy suit clashed with the blacks of the orchestra. His body moved almost violently with the notes he played, sharply different from their more disciplined movements. It was perfect. Over the past decade, Folds has displayed […]

 
The Silent Treatment

As the Southbank campus meekly re-opens its doors this year, already I have already been hearing from students that the lack of communication from our campus leaders has hindered their ability to plan for the year ahead.  The  shutdown of the entire university and the technical and psychological road bumps encountered by our staff must […]

 
Review: Bridgerton’s Gross Mishandling of Consent

Content warning for rape and anti-Black racism. Spoilers for Netflix’s Bridgerton. Netflix’s new series Bridgerton—hyped up as Gossip Girl in period clothing—reeled viewers in with spicy sex scenes and racial diversity. Despite not being able to tell the Bridgerton brothers apart at first, I was hooked. But the beautiful costumes and catchy violin covers immediately […]

 
NatCon 2020: who’s who at the National Conference?

What is NatCon? NatCon stands for the annual National Conference run by the National Union of Students (NUS). Normally, student politicians from around the country descend on a rural university campus to debate policy and determine the direction of the NUS for the next year. On the final day, delegates are able to vote for […]

 
Flash Fiction: Close

Teck-Phui Chua They stood, scattered across the field, heavy heads bent down touching the ground. Dawn broke and the warmth of the sun’s rays evaporated the dew off them, bringing them back to life. Slowly they stretched up, straightening themselves, facing up towards the sky. Their bright white petals popped open one by one revealing […]

 
Google Reviews of Places I’ve Been Dumped At

? ? ??? (2 / 5 stars) U-BAHNHOF KOTTBUSSER TOR, BERLIN  Terribly unromantic! Couldn’t even have a proper last kiss without a toothless crackhead smashing bottles and yelling at us in German. Even the “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel was ruined by the awful sound of coked-up nightclubbers vomiting in the corner of the […]

 
5:45

Those who don’t notice the green Ford creaking into the lot are first alerted to the arrival of the Smoking Man by his voice ripping across Temple Park. ‘Sadie!’  Heads turn as the German Shepherd galavants toward the gathering. The Smoking Man has limped across this field every day since I started coming here and […]

 
balikbayan / body

  in the storage area beyond our kitchen  boxes often wait to leave one home for another’s taped and overwhelmed with the new and old  pleather girl boots, men’s polo shirts starched anew, biscuits destined for manila city mothers send human-sized containers bearing gifts of hard-won labour with as much as their hearts could fit […]

 
Intra Uterine insertion

Stirruped! cold air creeping there along field ruts (here, squeeze this) never forget, ever forget it is there once buried deep underground but (you should only feel a pinch) now buried deep in me, bloody flinch, lick a copper coin and stick it be- (stay still – I’m just cutting the strings) -tween my lips, […]

 
Living Creatures

Crows are leaping from the cliff’s edge, bounding forward and falling fast. They barrel down like black vessels until, mid-air, the wind cracks open their cocoons. As unravelling wings span across the sky, I wonder what would happen if, rather, they kept themselves screwed up, just to plummet like rocks. But, of course they don’t. […]

 
snowshoe hare

childhood me watches the cold snow-encrusted darkness drape itself over backyard pines – little                bruises, blue-black     imprints in the snow trailing to     the porch’s frozen underbelly –     refuge from foxes mum says. after breakfast I will go out and make hare tracks […]

 
Surrender of the Seasons

Dappled sunlight trickles through the eucalyptus overstory. The faded bark of a swamp gum crunches underfoot. An afternoon breeze thaws out the wattles, scattering their scent and seed. Lorikeets demand to be heard. Pedestrians wave down passing cars, a mark of solidarity more than anything; “Watch out! There’s an echidna on the road.”   Then […]

 
Spoon Villages and Community Gardens

During the stress of the COVID-19 pandemic, many communities around Victoria have turned to community garden installations as mechanisms to promote cohesion and unity, in the face of adversity. The popular ‘spoon villages’ have seen swathes of wooden spoons, and other similar kitchen implements being fixed in the ground together. These are often decorated with […]

 
Mental Health Support for Young People During COVID-19 Not Enough

Content Warning: COVID-19, mental illness and self-harm. As the pandemic continues, attention is shifting towards how to best handle the physical and mental impacts of COVID-19. The mental health of young people has been identified as being particularly vulnerable to the impact of the virus and the associated measures taken to prevent its spread. But, […]

 
Table

don’t you hear me Mámá? the boy said. the small, brown woman sits at the table, meets his gaze eyes open, h(ear)ing closed.  instead, she unties her tongue from the roof  where it is kept, letting her mouth  open  onto his expectant ear , loosening the      words              watch them spill out  into still air.    […]

 
Grandmother Rose

Her fingers curve around the handle of the cup as she places English breakfast tea on discoloured doilies. Her gold tea set, something I wish to inherit, mocks me on the table. Her right hand rests near the doily, taking a much needed break from the lifting of the tea cup–the strenuousness of it.  The […]

 
University executives to start wearing ear masks to protect themselves from listening to students

A University spokesperson announced on Monday that wearing ear masks will be mandatory for all members of the University executive committee in order to slow the spread of student complaints reaching their ears.

 
Local woman terrified by small spark of optimism

A local woman was horrified to find herself cradling the smallest hopeful spark following this dumpster fire of a year. In the wake of what has felt like a decade’s worth of tragedies and misfortunes crammed into one year, the idea of optimism felt so foreign to the former glass-half-full-er that its presence startled her to tears.

 
Review: Emily in Paris: A Modern Trip to the City of Love

We’ve all fantasised about flying to a foreign country and living out our wildest dreams without a care in the world. For Emily, this is a reality, though things are slightly more organised and less carefree in her case. Darren Star, creator of Beverly Hills 90210, Sex and the City, and more recently, Younger, brings […]

 
Just the usual, thanks

Few operations rival the sheer coordination, precise communication and military-grade timing of a well-run fish and chip shop at six-thirty on a Friday night. To witness a fish and chip shop going at full tilt, gears turning, pistons firing, is a strange wonder. Like the engine of a running car, its finely tuned system of […]

 
Edition Two 2020 Editorial

Bethany Cherry Let me explain privilege during a pandemic. The light just blew. A world in sudden darkness is full of panic. People are tripping over each other. The poor, the marginalised, the ederly, the casual and the front-line workers.They fall the hardest. Your first instinct is to help the fallen, get them up and […]

 
… as colours pour from tar

In early 2016, some friends from art school and I drove to Warrandyte to explore bush tracks along the Yarra River around the Pound Bend Tunnel. Chris brought torches, Layla had an elaborate recording device with headphones, and I had a pair of Rainbow Fireworks Glasses in my pocket. It was 10 pm on an overcast night in early autumn.

 
An Ode to an Arts Degree in a Society that Devalues a School of Thought Which is as Vital as Breathing In and Of Itself

In one room, American History, we learnt how the American Dream was born from the heart of religion that spread across the United States in the 17th century. In a room across the landing, Middle Eastern Politics, we began to scratch the surface of the complex power dynamics of the Middle East, studying catalytic moments of protest like the Arab Spring uprisings—monumental events that gave rise to a complex blend of new political structures, conflicts, and in some cases, freedom.

 
A Third Culture Kid’s Experience: An Ode to Overthinking Choices

In my dream, I stand at the triple crossroads. Oily yellow light spills down onto the bitumen, barely illuminating the roads’ beginnings. To the eastern fork, I see the klongs of Bangkok, hear an echo over the long-tail boats: “this way to your past”. To the western way, the Australian countryside stretches infinitely, drowning in heavy rainfall: “this way to your future”. To the northern road, a Janus-voice of twin-speaking conjurers, beckoning me to choose their shadowed path: “

 
Implosion

Content warning: Mental illness, self-harm, suicidal ideation, cannibalism, biological descriptions. Dip my brain in iced water, dearest—it is too hot. I think it will hiss as it plunges, like a saucepan left on the stove for far too long, wisps of steam rising from the edges of the pail. Soap it well, leaving my brain […]

 
The Walk of Shame

Let’s talk about sex. Specifically, the unprotected kind. In Australia, this doesn’t have to result in an unwanted pregnancy, thanks to pharmaceuticals. There are currently two types of emergency contraceptives (EC) available to purchase over the counter: levonorgestrel and ulipristal acetate. Both prevent fertilisation of an egg and are most effective when taken soon after the sexual encounter.

 
Edition Five 2020 Editorial

Bethany Cherry I feel alive with a page full of quotes. Words from people past that bring an unlikely sense of perspective and peace. My favourite quotes are from children book authors, the likes of Dr Seuss and Roald Dahl. I listen to these guys more than I do my parents, who, bless their hearts, […]

 
Three Ways to Live Sustainably on a Budget

hen I first started trying to minimize my carbon footprint, one of the barriers I faced was (actually, “is”) the unbelievably high price tag on “zero-waste” products. (I didn’t plan on going zero waste because that’s too big of a commitment when living as a student, but I did want to replace certain high-use items with more sustainable and durable ones.)

 
The Lifespan of an Email

Ever accidentally emailed your entire cohort at 4.07am? Tejas Gandhi has. At the end of an all-nighter working on an assignment, the third-year politics major decided to wind down by checking up on his application for the Faculty of Arts peer mentorship program (as you do): “Dear Concerned, Hope you are doing well This email […]

 
little lady

sometimes I drown in the guilt of wanting to take up space for the wrong reasons to spread my legs and speak loudly not to defend the legions of women who paved the way for my freedoms but to look in the eyes of strangers and plead without words for them to understand this isn’t […]

 
a moment to swim inside.

(a coming-of-age playlist.) words taken from blackout poetry made from old (angsty) phone notes & journal entries. 22.08.17 / sit next to me by foster the people. out the window, the suburban lights are bright and cold, a picture in time. you can breathe in broken light. shadows of leaves pass over the walls, on […]

 
All through a window & La hija del mar y del sol

All through a window locked indoors I look outside, a neon pink balloon trapped in the barbed fencing of the housing complex next to my apartment there lies my heart flailing around helium slowly oozing out I’ve never seen a rainbow before and I don’t want my first time to be through a window   […]

 
Dear Hope

18/08/2020 Dear Hope, “If you can hear me don’t go/I don’t really feel you now/but I know you’re there…” My therapist told me I should write a letter to you. It’s been three years without you and I still don’t know how to move on. This year has been the second-worst year ever. You’re so […]

 
a brief coming together of bodies

4:00am awake, i turn to you selfish in seeking your touch because, of course, you sleep. 4:01am arms around each other like scared teenage girls (girls?) doing that “i don’t want to treat you the way a boy would treat you but also i feel that i must touch you” thing. 4:02am you kiss my […]

 
University on Track to Meet Sustainability Goals Despite Waste Setback

The University of Melbourne’s penultimate Sustainability Report revealed the University has failed to meet its waste reduction targets over the last year. Released on July 23rd, the 2019 Report states the University produced 29 kilograms of waste per person in 2019, far exceeding the Sustainability Plan’s 2020 goal of just 20 kilograms per person. University […]

 
Gutter Wine, and Shards of Stars—

When I wake up on Saturday, I can only lay and daydream Feel my night’s musings seep into the covers And try not to think about you. I get up to water my garden— I’ve planted flowers because I need to grow something other than resentment. Getting ready, I have no time To eat, I […]

 
Auspicious Flickers

Kol looks at their watch.  11:11 Feels auspicious. Precarious.  A moment of importance? 11:12 would have been a moment too late. All the magic lost. 11:10, too early. You can’t wait for magic, only stumble upon it, and it is a soul-wrenching kind of letdown to see either number and to know: you fucked up. […]

 
My Favourite Book is the Virgin Suicides

Dear ______  Sometimes I don’t lay naked beneath the sheets,                   and you? Sometimes I drink too much, and lay naked beneath the sheets and forgot time Has passed,         my grief fermenting like an old cabbage, growing its own shrunken heads behind a […]

 
soldiers

i live with soldiers of no notable rank no colonel lieutenant even when empty streets glimmer lines of indigo tar  they rise   uniform on navy blue sterile sapphires  epaulettes replaced by  white swipe cards, brilliant i think of her in that apron she got for Christmas   kitchen smells waft through my bedroom door […]

 
Ruby

Young peaches rain on a bruised roof, chafed by young brushing winds The peaches, mimic the sky on its skin – splatter of red – a sudden brown The winds run                to the baton of an unseen conductor a colossal orchestra        – to the marmalade […]

 
Don’t Worry, Be Happy

(content warning for death and mental illness) Don’t Worry, Be Happy It’s 1999 and I’m seven years old. Memories of my childhood are sparse but, I remember this: I had a watch with a pinkish-red band made of the kind of semi-transparent plastic of jelly sandals, popular at the time. Printed around the face of […]

 
Review: Loner

Georgina Young: Loner Text Publishing, 2020. ISBN, 9781922330130, pp. 256, $24.99   Text Publishing choosing Georgina Young’s Loner as its internal Text Prize winner all the way back in May of last year feels vaguely . Not that Loner deals with disease or isolation (at least not in the way that we have become familiar […]

 
Review: Meanwhile in Dopamine City

DBC Pierre: Meanwhile in Dopamine City Allen and Unwin, 2020. ISBN, 9780571228942, $39.99 It’s disappointing to say that there is very little to remark positively upon in DBC Pierre’s new novel Meanwhile in Dopamine City. Disappointing because a satire focussed on the pitfalls of technological obsession seems deeply needed in a time where it feels like […]

 
Review: The Woman Who Cracked the Anxiety Code

Judith Hoare: The Woman Who Cracked the Anxiety Code: The Extraordinary Life of Dr Claire Weekes Scribe Publications, 2020. ISBN, 9781922310439, pp. 416, $29.99   Face, accept, float, let time pass. This was the six-word mantra that gave hundreds of thousands of people control over their anxiety. Australian journalist Judith Hoare chronicles the fascinating life of […]

 
Deborah Cheetham OAM

Welcome to Canon in She, a column that celebrates women who compose music. This time, I am dedicating the entire column to Deborah Cheetham.

 
2020 UMSU Committee and Council Candidates

Are you voting in the 2020 UMSU Elections? UMSU Election week is from the 7-11 September 2020. Here you can find your candidates and their statements below in alphabetical order by position. If you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate in reaching out to the Deputy Returning Officer, Stephen Luntz. Other relevant information may be […]

 
2020 UMSU Office Bearer Candidates

Are you voting in the 2020 UMSU Elections? UMSU Election week is from the 7-11 September 2020. Here you can find your candidates and their statements below in alphabetical order by position. If you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate in reaching out to the Deputy Returning Officer, Stephen Luntz. Other relevant information may be […]

 
2020 UMSU Ticket Statements

Are you voting in the 2020 UMSU Elections? UMSU Election week is from the 7-11 September 2020. Here you can find your candidates and their statements below in alphabetical order by position. If you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate in reaching out to the Deputy Returning Officer, Stephen Luntz. Other relevant information may be […]

 
spend thrift

spend your days off bottling masochism into remedies; sell them to your isolated self as constructive criticism –– criticism is a double-edged sword you’ve been taught to hold by the middle so it hurts only the way power should, must, would.  shave it with pencil sharpener –– wound way too tightly –– might but won’t […]

 
A Letter to the Editors: COVID, and the Importance of International Student Voices

Dear Editors, Earlier this semester, I received some criticism for an op-ed I wrote against the PM’s suggestion that international students leave Australia in response to COVID-19 — including by students from my own country. They echoed what was implicit in the government’s comments: that since we were lucky to even be here, we should […]

 
Growing Up in the Climate Crisis

Growing up in the climate crisis My country is burning. Ten years ago, this meant that the pavement was too hot to walk on when I was too lazy to wear slippers to put the bins out. It meant sausage sizzles and relatives drinking VB on the verandah. It meant that you could hear rain […]

 
In the Wall

crag lines run ripple across creased walls an eye formed long sight caught through time rockets and tanks fear, and a lifetime all seen through a single crag in the wall

 
Police Investigate IMARC Protestors

This article refers to investigations that happened in February 2020. Police are investigating several Blockade IMARC protesters for unlawful assembly and other charges.  Victoria Police have contacted at least ten protesters, requesting interviews and questioning them about their involvement with Blockade IMARC.   Blockade IMARC spokesperson Jacob Andrewartha said police were attempting to charge protesters with […]

 
Woah to No

Local punters at Flinders Street Station were stunned today as a fellow traveller moved through the gate without pausing or stopping. “It was amazing,” one baffled onlooker commented. “She aimed at one boomgate the whole way in, and that was actually the one she went through. She had money on her card and everything. No […]

 
2020 UMSU Election Reporting

This liveblog is for the 2020 UMSU Elections Reporting from Farrago reporters. All questions and queries about the reporting of this election should be directed to the Deputy Returning Officer and the 2020 Media Officers. All questions and queries about candidates and how to complete a postal vote should be directed to the Deputy Returning Officer. Stephen […]

 
Review: We Are Family: what really matters for parents and children

Susan Golombrok: We are family: what really matters for parents and children Scribe Publications, 2020. ISBN, 9781925713701pp. 320 , $32.99   Professor Susan Golombrok has spent years researching families and how they have changed in the 21st century. From queer couples being able to adopt to Kim Kardashian surrogacies, Golombrok packages her learnings into a […]

 
‘Feeling’ Zachary Leo’s New Sound

In today’s age where the majority of mainstream music is filled with mind-numbing beats, Zachary Leo’s sound is a breath of fresh air. The 21-year-old Melbourne based artist began his journey in 2019 releasing the singles She and Lay You Down, and more recently released the extremely catchy single Not That Easy. Fresh off a […]

 
Florence Price, Delia Derbyshire & Wendy Carlos

Welcome to Canon in She, a column about female composers of Western classical music, and a few major trailblazers in electronic music as well. Today, I present three brilliant women from the 20th century.

 
Review: Henry Green’s ‘Half Light’ feels like waking up on a day off

Suffice to say that in the Year of Our Lord 2020, we’ve all had our fair share of emotional rollercoasters. There are moments when you feel inspired and in control, there are other moments when you feel anything but. Sometimes, it’s almost like you’re sleepwalking. From his attic studio, dream pop artist Henry Green has […]

 
Daniel Andrews Announces Postcode Lockdowns

Premier Daniel Andrews has issued stay-at-home orders for several suburbs in Melbourne after recent spikes in positive cases of COVID-19 in Victoria.

 
Education sector responds to COVID-19

Primary and secondary schools around Australia have experienced a chaotic start to term two this year faced with conflicting advice from different levels of government.  In Victoria, Premier Daniel Andrews had initially been adamant that state schools would be closed for the entirety of term two, a position which had  drawn criticism from federal Education […]

 
The Curtain Calls For You to Think
Farrago 2020 Edition 1 Cover

If I would say one thing about Come From Away, other than that it is worth every minute and dollar, it would be that it highlights that amidst suffocating hate, it is possible to find that lemon-drop of kindness in you.

 
2020 UMSU Budget

Every year the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) passes its annual budget via Students’ Council.
Why should you care? 

 
Proposed Changes to Special Consideration Scrapped
Farrago 2020 Edition 1 Cover

The University has elected not to pursue controversial changes to its special consideration policy that were proposed in September 2019.

 
Co-op to Close After Sale to Online Retailer

The Co-op bookstore will close its doors at the end of March after almost sixty years on The University of Melbourne’s Parkville campus. 

 
International Students Bashed in the Melbourne CBD

CW: COVID-19, racism, physical and verbal assault Two international students were assaulted in a racially motivated attack in the Melbourne CBD on 15 April.  The incident occurred at approximately 5:30PM on Wednesday, when C and S* were walking down Elizabeth Street and saw two caucasian women shouting “coronavirus” and “get out of the country” to […]

 
Transitioning to online classes leaving first-year students with a memorable start to their courses

But, starting from March 17, the University of Melbourne began its transition to a “virtual campus” in an effort to flatten the COVID-19 curve. With this shift to online learning, the University also introduced a new way of experiencing the university lifestyle to first-year students such as myself.

 
An Open Letter to Mr Scott Morrison 

Earlier this week, you made a statement that surprised absolutely no one and was completely in line with the moral fibre and integrity of character you’ve displayed time and time again.

 
Edition One 2020 Editorial

Welcome to Edition One. Welcome to the 2020 editors.

 
a catcher’s handbook

a love for spearmint, for the burgundy red
                   rhubarb patch

 
Badass Women

Eleanor pauses in her tracks, sucking in a breath as she turns not to face the man, but the arched windows that line the passage. 
Aquitaine stretches out before her, its beauty incomparable to filthy, cramped Paris.

 
Lonely Hearts of the Animal Kingdom

Bonjour, mon amour! I think perhaps you are the muse I’ve been searching for.

 
Matrykoshka Dreams

The tiger awakens as you grip the bars and use them to propel you into a 360-degree jump.
Beads of sweat nestle on your neck and your heart swells in its cage.

 
SATIRE: Creators of Avatar Feature New Hero, Who Just Really Likes Tea

Water. Earth. Fire. Air.  Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the COVID-19 attacked. Only the Avatar, master of one and a half elements (water, and maybe fire if you count a kettle) could stop the pandemic. But when the world needed her most, she vanished.  A few days […]

 
The OTHER Theory of Evolution

In science class we only celebrated successes. But for every scientific superstar there’s a generation of equally intelligent scholars who got it wrong.

 
PTV Woes

When I landed in Melbourne some ten months ago, a grass-green philistine whose closet contained nary a single tote bag, I did so with high expectations. Among these expectations was that this first-world metropolis would come equipped with a functional, if not flawless, public transport system. 

 
Vive la Révolution

Despite criticism from federal and state governments, there exists a long and varied history of violence in political protest. Yet, this history is often obscured.

 
SATIRE: Student leaves assignment to last minute because time is just a construct

In the final, stressful minute before his literature assignment is due, Arts student Wes Wednesday is cool as a cucumber after realising that time does not, in fact, exist.

 
Review: The Hitmen

As a satire of job-hunting hell, The Hitmen struggles to strike its target. Nonetheless, Mish Wittrup’s new play offers some gory chuckles and a suite of energetic performances.

 
Edition Three 2020 Content List

Submissions for Edition Three 2020 are now open! Check out this funky content list for inspiration!

 
Review: Citizen K

Citizen K, directed and written by Alex Gibney, tells a side of the Cold War story that is arguably more interesting, and indeed more deadly, than the war itself: how does a nation with a communist backbone going back centuries suddenly make the transition to capitalism? How do its citizens get by? How does the government and its laws catch up to such an upheaval?

 
Review: The Professor and the Madman

In a constantly changing linguistic and cultural landscape Mel Gibson’s passion project based on the unique history of the Oxford English Dictionary, should have had no trouble capturing the modern zeitgeist. Unfortunately, in a production marred by chaos, lawsuits and general disfunction, The Professor and the Madman is a film left feeling hollow and unfinished.

 
Review: Like A Boss @ Moonlight Cinema

Like A Boss had the potential to be a huge comedy hit because of its star-studded cast and emphasis on female empowerment, but it failed to do so. Starring Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne as best friends and Salma Hayek as the antagonist, the film heavily relies on innuendos and slapstick comedy in an attempt to be funny.

 
Old and New at St Kilda Festival’s 40th

The St Kilda Festival, showcasing Australian artists, returns tomorrow, on the 9th of February for its 40th anniversary with over 60 acts, including special guests ICEHOUSE, Kylie Auldist and DJ Hot Dub Time Machine. Australian rock group ICEHOUSE performed at the first St Kilda Festival in 1980 and went on to become “one of the […]

 
Protests Erupt over Moreland Trees

Protesters were carried out by police at Moreland’s Gandolfo Gardens early yesterday morning as the Victorian Government’s Level Crossing Removal Project prepared to remove the park’s trees. People watched as the trees, some believed to be 108-years-old, were felled by workers. Construction for the Upfield line has already drawn controversy over the removal of the […]

 
Review: Flying Lotus 3D @ the Forum 25/01/20

I had no idea what to expect from Flying Lotus’ 3D tour, I just knew I had to see it with my own eyes. FlyLo continues to produce some of the most exciting, genre bending sounds in the electro scene, and this show is no exception.

 
Review: 1917

Sam Mendes’ epic one-take war film is an indelible, commanding experience built on some of the most incredible craftsmanship that cinema can offer.

 
Review: Carly Rae Jepsen

Between walking into the Forum at a little past 7pm and seeing Carly Rae Jepsen come on stage for her sold-out Melbourne show was probably the most trying few hours of my life.

 
Regulating Language

Language has faced an onslaught of changes in the face of globalisation, as influences from across the world fight against local ideals of what a language should be. Language academies—organisations that act as regulatory bodies of different languages—are leading the fight against changes to language they perceive as illegitimate.

 
Meditation

I don’t mind if it is an acorn, a plum, or a baobab fruit. / They are all fruits.

 
R ‘n’ R

Allow that which does not belong / in your heart to find / its way out.

 
The Open Night

You, this forgotten shadow, / That rests in a flowering memory / Is the kiss of root and berry.

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 7

There’s an attic which is filled with what could be imagined for Emily Dickinson, her backstory and personality upon finding herself in an Alice-in-Wonderland style scenario. I imagine those things with a thin film of dust, and the windows open to the huge clouds.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell, a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
M——

It was on the fourth of these dates that I met M——. M—— was a large, wide Croatian man. His belly peered ahead of him, and his hair was badly balding, with only the too-long stragglers remaining around his crown. He pulled a seat out across from me at the Lindt Cafe´ on Little Collins Street and seemed to fill the entire window we were next to. He looked down at me and shook his head, letting out a sputter of air. He pushed his palms out in the shape of a cross, perhaps to cover my c

 
For & Against: Eyebrows

FOR By Katherine Anastasatos Imagine the terror of one day arriving home, opening up Snapchat to rant to your friends about your first-world problems, flicking to a filter that instructs you to ‘raise your eyebrows’ in order to activate it, and… nothing happens. No cute furry ears, no amusing spectacles, no floating pink hearts; just […]

 
Police use heavy-handed tactics against mining protestors

Hundreds of climate protesters turned up to blockade the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) on its first day, leading to 50 arrests and four hospitalisations.

 
For & Against: Bats

FOR By Tilli Franks   There is only 80 million years of difference between humans and bats. The common ancestor of all placental mammals is estimated to have lived around 400,000 years after the dinosaurs met their particularly nasty end. One could argue that bats got a reasonably good deal from the evolutionary lotto: they […]

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: An Unexpected Dinner Guest

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
She will never forget

She was a woman who made the best of her circumstances and ensured no one else should ever face the same tribulations her fourteen-year-old self did.

 
Floating Waste

the salty sea breeze blows / McDonalds™ wrappers swirl / infants scramble / some nestle in the bin liner / others look for scraps

 
Whistling Babas

When night approached, I would sit near my window while watching the night sky in hopes of seeing the origin of the sound but I never did.

 
I Can’t Stop Talking About Cold Chisel and it’s Turning My Friends Against Me

All that matters in life is Jimmy Barnes, nineteenth-century lesbians, and the three boxes of Cheerios I clutch to my chest in the car park at Coles. Woolworths didn’t have them in stock so I had to drive to the next suburb.

 
Bowen

Lindsay Lohan’s done this, I think, as the cop takes my mugshot. Should I smile? I give the camera a glare that looks petulant, childish.

 
Local Asshole Stands on Right-Hand Side of Escalator and Doesn’t Walk

The most important person in the world visited Melbourne Central Station today. At least that’s how it seemed as one inconsiderate asshole decided he had the right to stand still on the right-hand side of the escalator.

 
Petitions, Protests and Sex Based Events

An event held at the University of Melbourne on August 8 sparked protests from students and staff amid fears that it would promote anti-trans ideas and make the University unsafe for transgender people.

 
Review: Buoyancy

VCA graduate Rodd Rathjen’s debut feature, Buoyancy, is designed to provoke audiences with uncomfortable truths about modern slavery and our proximity to it via global food production, but there’s one particular question it raises which refuses to claw its way out of my mind: what does it take to break a 14 year old boy?

 
Hard Truths

In collaboration with the New York Times, The University of Melbourne is playing host to ‘Hard Truths’, an exhibition showcasing photographs from conflict zones around the world. A panel discussion was held in Arts West on Thursday, the 12th September, to discuss the polarizing question: is the global approach to migration broken?

 
Review: Fringe Festival Comedy: Will It Juice?

Coming to a fringe festival near you: Will it Juice? the biggest and most bodacious dance crew to hit the Fitzroy art scene.
Except—despite an unapologetic opening dance number to Lizzo’s ‘Juice’—they’re actually an improv comedy group.

 
Students criticise the University for “lack of action” on sexual violence during South Lawn protest

Approximately 20 students gathered on South Lawn on Wednesday 21 August to protest what they believe to be inaction by the University to prevent sexual violence on campus.

 
Extinction Rebellion student activists disrupt University Open Day

Student activists from Extinction Rebellion disrupted the University of Melbourne Open Day on 18 August to protest the University’s participation in the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC).

 
Students walk out of class to demand “climate action now”

Hundreds of students from across Melbourne walked out of class on Friday August 9 to demand action on climate change. Students from the University of Melbourne, Monash, RMIT and other universities gathered outside the State Library despite heavy rain and windy conditions.

 
For & Against: Baths

FOR by Catriona Smith Picture this: you’ve come home after a long hard day at uni and you have sore muscles and you want to relax. You lounge back in the bath with a good skin treatment, a glass of wine and a book. This level of comfort cannot be achieved in the shower. Baths […]

 
UniMelb Jumpers the Hottest New Look for Plain-Clothed Myki Inspectors

Four grumpy, overweight, mid-life crisis persons have been sighted lurking around the RMIT/Swanston St tram stop wearing UniMelb Hoodies. Witnesses
report that they seem to think they’re blending in well, and reckon no one knows they’re ticket inspectors.

 
Sex and Stigma

Your first casual sex experience. The back of a car. Classy. You never liked random hook ups in clubs and you’re frankly bemused by the whole experience. Sex had always been an intimate act; not anymore. The second time is better, you like him, you date a few weeks, you’re replaced. It gets easier each time.

 
Alt-Right? Academics Break Ranks Over Ramsay Centre

Academics at the University of Wollongong (UoW) are speaking out against the institution’s newest Arts major. There has already been major controversy over the unusual fast-track approval of the course, which will be privately funded by the Ramsay Centre for Western Civilisation.

 
Gears Finally Turning on Bike Co-op

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) bike co-op has finally re-opened on Wednesday 31 July 2019, almost a year and a half after its scheduled relocation.

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: The Sea-Venture

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
Lemon or Lime

It was your birthday drinks last time her arm was around you. It’s only been three weeks since then, you were in Fitzroy at yet another rooftop bar, basking in the suburban sunset. Your gift came in a plastic shopping bag.

 
Paint to Poetry: Blue Booties & Alaskan Sky

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
GSA: The Election in Brief

Forward won the 2019 Graduate Students Association (GSA) election after earning the most key seats in the council, including the presidency.

Forward’s success was confirmed during the first Annual General Meeting (AGM) after the election, held on May 31. The ticket gained six out of the ten positions that were up for election.

 
8am is a Really Good Time for a Funeral, Tutor Discovers

Bernie Green (26) has reported a massive spike in the deaths of his students’ obscure relatives and family friends since he moved his tutorial from a 2pm to an 8am timeslot. 

 
Melbourne stands in solidarity with Sudan

On Saturday, 22 June, hundreds of Melburnians braved the cold and rain to spread awareness of the civilian massacres that are taking place in Sudan.

They met at the State Library, where members of Australia’s Sudanese community spoke about the violence that has broken out in Sudan’s capital, Khartoum. Led by the six rally organisers, the group of around 500 protestors then marched up Bourke Street to the steps of Parliament.

 
History

is the truant in my sheets / barely sixteen / I am / telling fibs to stay home with my thoughts / with my feet tucked in the pockets of sleep /

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 4

The holiday starts when we follow a white cat named Jennifer into the Faewild. In the backstory, Andi has been trying to catch her; she’s been cohabiting with Emily Dickinson in secret. We don’t remember the mechanics of entering the Faewild. It’s verdant and as bright as a Lisa Frank drawing.

 
Change the Rules

On April 10, approximately 100,000 people took to the streets of Melbourne to protest against the Morrison government in a Change the Rules rally. The rally was organised by the Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU).

 
Bees

I found a boy sitting on my verandah one day. He was different from the others because he was calm. Crimson scars climbed his skin.

 
1990’s Subconscious

I’m planning a powerplay on the level of a live TV strip tease, like Drew Barrymore getting down on David Letterman’s desk.

 
Review: Joanne Burns’ apparently

Even flipping through the collection days later. I feel a sense of strangeness, like I haven’t uncovered all the paths into Burns’ mind. This is a powerful strength of hers, you will not look at the same sentence the same way twice.

 
Review: Single Asian Female

It is not often I see myself portrayed on stage, but the family that Michelle Law created in her debut play Single Asian Female is refreshingly familiar. The Wongs are three women on the verge of life-changing events. Pearl’s divorce is finally finalized, but she faces another problem; Zoe struggles to navigate being single and finds herself pregnant after a one-night stand; and Mei is just shy of finishing high school.

 
Review: Universal Estate

After my chat with Antony Hamilton, I was extremely excited to witness the premiere of his latest piece, Universal Estate. I made my way to Arts House and was escorted through large double doors and into a bright, clinical room. It felt as though I had walked into an episode of Black Mirror. It was a four-hour long dance piece,  and audiences were allowed to walk in and out as they pleased. They could also choose to sit or stand anywhere within the space, on the designated benches or the flo

 
Fresh Canvas

Around 100 subjects from several faculties will trial a new Learning Management System (LMS) from Semester 2 this year.

 
Paint to Poetry: The Succulent

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
Edition Three Editorial

Now the start-of-semester dust has settled and we’re all neck deep in assignments, it seems like a good time to reflect on where we are on our editorial journey. We became the Farrago editorial team late last year and since then have worked every single day putting out this big baby each month. It’s been a wild ride, but we adore Farrago, and are so grateful for the opportunity to put important pictures and words into print and distribute them across campus.

 
Review: Completely Improvised Potter

I saw the crowd before I heard it, which I am aware is completely counterintuitive. My concern that we had not arrived early enough to figure out which room the show was in immediately passed as everyone who came in with my friends and I all flocked to the queue just inside the entrance of Trades Hall. I could feel everyone’s excitement as we entered the dimly lit room and took our seats.

 
Werribee Wage Gap

The University of Melbourne is currently facing legal proceedings brought by a previous employee, who Farrago will refer to as Lianne, on the grounds that her termination was on the basis ofher raising concerns over gender discrimination.

 
Everywhere at the End of Time

The first time I encountered Victor was on a bleak, foggy morning exactly one year ago today. I find it fascinating that one can innocently tug at a single thread and accidentally unravel an entire garment.

 
Detik-Detik

Detik pertama, I was drowning and the world softened, an egg dipped in vinegar.

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 3

Maybe the internet is a history machine. Much under the surface. I remember clicking a page of one-on-one RPG blogs: two friends/writers for Something Awful documenting their campaigns for lulz.

 
Kiss and Tell

Tinder. The dating app we hate to love and love to hate.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell, a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
Science or Art?

I borrowed the River Cottage Bread Handbook (highly recommend) from family friends about a year and a half ago, read it near cover to cover, and started baking. Since then I have made a name for myself amongst friends and family as the bread guy, bringing fresh bread to picnics and potlucks, or making mouthwatering focaccia when hosting a barbecue.

 
Review: Post Malone at Rod Laver Arena

Post Malone seemed to really enjoy his time on stage and genuinely try to connect to the crowd; and yes, for some reason, that included drinking beer out of someone else’s shoe.

 
Review: Air Supply

In all honesty, I went along to the Air Supply concert on April 24 with no idea what to expect. Despite their status as an iconic Australian band, my knowledge of the people standing on stage before me extended only to the snippets of their songs I had heard included in the occasional television commercial. Nonetheless, I had a sense of excitement walking into the Melbourne Exhibition and Convention Centre.

 
Review: Love is a Work in Progress

With the ready aid of massive inflatables, red satin sheets and fairy wings, Tara Rankine shares her stories of love. Inside the cosy venue of Tasma Terrace, this show from the 2019 Melbourne International Comedy Festival invites you straight “into her heart”. Raunchy and raw, Love is a Work in Progress closely examines the types of love she has experienced in sex, romance and friendship.

 
Review: Back

It is fair to say, without doubt nor hesitation, that Tim Minchin is Back!

 
Review: Onstage Dating

Bron Batten’s Onstage Dating is exactly the type of show you’d expect iconic Melbourne venue The Butterfly Club to put on. The audience begins the experience before Bron even appears, being handed a “volunteer” form filled with the most important questions a potential date can answer: your star sign, your wine preference and, of course, “would you fuck on a first date?”

 
Bitter Beans

The last few years have seen many cafés and restaurants ousted for non-compliance with correct pay. Although these businesses suffer in the form of damage to their curated image and brand, workers often bear the brunt of an underpaid and overworked existence—workers who are usually students themselves.

 
Review: The Worst Little Warehouse in London

Lala Barlow and Robbie Smith arrive in London. So begins a whirlwind of migration adventure and, most importantly, their year-long stay in a communal living warehouse they’ve coined The Worst Little Warehouse in London.

 
Parkville in Good Form

Do you ever feel like you’re being watched when you’re at uni?

 
Old Bath

This is a Cornetto moment,
w/ all the flicked pip mandarins,
& pregnant bellies being rubbed,
under ice-cream umbrellas

 
Slug.

They do not see me and I am twelve when I creep into the top corner of the kitchen. I watch them pour tea and drop spoons for years and now I am giggling.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 2

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
“I just wish there was less discussion!” Tutor’s Regret as ‘Name-and-Major’ Icebreaker Goes Too Well

Smoke alarms went off in Arts West on Monday afternoon as fiery banter poured out of a Week 1 Media and Society tutorial.

 
Mythologies

My phone promises that I keep track of time. So why do I keep losing track of time instead?

 
Metro Updates

Disruptions on Grattan Street will continue throughout 2019 as Parkville Station construction for the Melbourne Metro Tunnel enters its “most exciting year to date.”

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

I hear the term ‘accessibility’ being talked about a lot. I thought accessibility only had to do with wheelchair access and I don’t want to sound stupid asking people what makes something accessible. Can you tell me about it?

 
Making Tomorrow

‘Business as usual’ is hurtling us towards a desolate future. If we continue this way, climate change will intensify, sea levels will rise and humanity will face an existential catastrophe. We know this, but what would it look like if we started doing better? Blind optimism can distract from the truth, but frameworks of hope can help us find common goals and inspiration for the future. I would like to present two such frameworks: solarpunk and the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).

 
Review: Pitch Music & Arts Festival

My ride to Pitch was sitting beside a pungent-smelling senior citizen who was fake-calling someone on his phone, whining about “no intellects in the overpopulated city,” “r****ded lefty policies” and a “very fake evil god”. I knew I was in for a Labour Weekend-long journey – one that included more than bumps, darts and guerns.

 
University Students for Climate Change: Letter to the Vice Chancellor

This Friday, University of Melbourne students and staff will be standing with school students walking out of class for the School Strike 4 Climate. They struck last November, with participants numbering in the 15,000s. They will be demanding an end to new coal and gas projects, an end to the Adani Coal Mine, an 100% […]

 
Review: Mary Queen of Scots

What is the better way to rule as a woman? That is the question Mary Queen of Scots wishes to answer.

 
You are Safe Here

You smell the blooming of blossoms, gold streaks sparking off
white petals; it is the smell of new
life, of impossible bliss.
You turn to touch the flaming light

 
washin’ ya dishes

unplugging scrappy sink waste
arrestor not stopping sloppy
plates nor wrinkled noses at kitchen

 
The Great Moth/Bee

The snowberry clearwing doesn’t just look like a bumblebee—its behaviour is also remarkably similar. Like bees, it consumes nectar from flowers, and unlike other moths, it flies diurnally. Their main distinguishing factor is their flight patterns; bees move their wings far more swiftly than moths do, making the moth look slightly clumsier in comparison.

 
Consent Matters

“The story so far: in the beginning the University of Melbourne was one of many institutions that introduced the Consent Matters program as part of their response to the 2017 Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC) inquiry into university sexual harassment and assault.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

The evening we found out that my grand-uncle had been brutally taken from us, my childhood home no longer felt like home. The air hung heavy and the humidity that served as a reminder of the inevitability of summer, clung to my skin, making it hard to breathe.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell—a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
UMSU Experiments with Drugs

The welfare department of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) has introduced a new drug policy this year involving pill-testing kits and workshops as harm-reduction becomes the focus.

 
More Student Accommodation

A new scholarship program commencing in 2020 will award talented domestic undergraduate students who face financial challengers with free accommodation, general allowance, and financial and personal support.

 
Movie Awards Season is finally coming to an end

The 91st Academy Awards will take place at midday Melbourne time on Monday the 25th of February. Ahead of the ceremony, Oscar Ragg takes a look at whose proverbial stock is up – and whose is down – following a tumultuous, watershed Awards Season.

 
Review: Sugar Republic

Hidden away on the sixth floor of Myer in Bourke Street is Sugar Republic, a colourful and exuberant interactive pop-up art installation about all things sugar.

 
Review: At Eternity’s Gate

At Eternity’s Gate is the latest film inspired by visionary post-impressionist painter Vincent Van Gogh.  It is set in the turbulent last years of van Gogh’s life, as he grapples with mental illness, spirituality and an all-encompassing compulsion to paint the world as he sees it. Director Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) does his best to understand the man behind the icon; to strip away novelty and gaze at the star-crossed van Gogh operating on an alien frequency.

 
Review: The Odditorium

Anyone who has ever thought about running away to join the circus probably dreamed of something like The Odditorium. Presented as part of the Midsumma Festival, it is a cabaret love letter to the magic of circus and vaudeville.

 
Review: The Trial of Dorian Gray

I am no theatre connoisseur. In my eyes, what makes a play good is its ability to make me feel. In this vein, I believe all of the arts – whether it be music, literature, theatre or visual – have a common goal: to move the audience. I don’t need a life altering experience every time I encounter art, but it has to elicit some kind of reaction in me.
Unfortunately, the only thing I really felt while watching The Trial of Dorian Gray was ambivalence.

 
Review: If Beale Street Could Talk

Barry Jenkin’s Moonlight follow-up is an immaculate, beautifully-wrought adaptation of the great James Baldwin’s novel, and a deeply sincere ode to love in all its forms.

 
Melbourne University Publishing in turmoil
Melbourne University Publishing Logo

Independent members of the Melbourne University Publishing (MUP) board and Chief Executive Officer Louise Adler have resigned over the new proposed direction of the publishing house.

 
Tehan turns back on taskforce after TESQA university sexual assault findings released
Education Minister Dan Tehan

Federal Minister for Education Daniel Tehan has axed plans to establish an independent taskforce  that would have investigated university responses to and reported mishandlings of complaints of campus sexual assault.

 
Review: Juice WRLD

Chicago rapper Juice WRLD arrived at the Forum Theatre on Saturday night (5/1) for the Melbourne leg of his first Australian tour, after turning out at the Enmore Theatre in Sydney the night prior. Anticipation was building as an ever-growing line snaked all the way around the iconic Forum.

 
Review: Bumblebee

Director Travis Knight’s comedic and heartfelt take on Bumblebee’s origin story is a breath of fresh air in a franchise known for excessive explosions and a lack of emotional resonance.

 
Review: ‘Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse’

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is like no other animated or superhero film around. It’s a visual spectacle full of witty one-liners, weird and wonderful characters, and a whole lot of heart, all accompanied by a head-bopping soundtrack.      

 
‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse’: A refreshing superhero story with a revolutionary animated style

‘Into the Spider-Verse’ goes out of its way to present a story that is new and completely untold (at least in the realm of cinema). Everything here feels fresh. Even if at its core it is still just another Spider-Man movie, there’s probably enough new ground covered to push past some of the Spider fatigue you might be feeling.

 
NatCon 2018: Day Two Wrap-Up

Whew! We had three full sessions yesterday. Lots was discussed and, like day one, lots of yelling ensued. Discussion included NUS’s role in the 2019 federal election, freedom of speech on campuses, and lunch.

 
So what’s this “NatCon”?

NatCon is the annual national conference of the National Union of Students (NUS). This week, the student politicians will descend like locusts on the Mt Helen campus of Federation University, 10km outside Ballarat.

 
2018 NatCon Liveblog

Follow our live updates of #nusnatcon18 here!

 
Review: I Want to Eat Your Pancreas

“You can be the one to eat my pancreas. I did some more research after I saw that, and I found out that outside Japan, some people believe that if you have someone eat you, your soul lives on within them.”

 
Election Night: Janet Rice Interview

Joseph Paglia and Luke Rotella interviewed founding Greens member Senator Janet Rice at the Greens’ election night party in Docklands about the party’s campaign in the 2018 state election.

 
Drug Reform Activist Running for Richmond

Ryan is running in the state election for the district of Richmond. She doesn’t expect to win but she’s put herself forward on principle. She can’t let those who would threaten the existence of Victoria’s safe injecting rooms, which she was central in introducing, run uncontested.

 
 
 
 
 
Under The Coverslip

Every year The Department of Anatomy and Neuroscience hold a microscope imagining competition called Under the Coverslip. This exhibition is built on the notion that science is more than just graphs and figures; that there is undiscovered beauty beneath the microscope that can be appreciated by everyone. Roots—an entire lung in the very early stages […]

 
Minolta

The earth laughs in flowers – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
NGV

 
Art

 
Dark Imaginings: Three Gothic Tales of Wonder

These three stories are the winning entries from the gothic-themed micro-story competition associated with the exhibition Dark Imaginings: Gothic Tales of Wonder curated by Special Collections in the Noel Shaw Gallery, Baillieu Library. The challenge was to use 300 words (or less) to tell a gothic story. While the exhibition focused on the gothic from c 1750 to 1900, the competition was open to free interpretation of the word “gothic”.

 
Review: Roma, awards season 2018, and how Netflix keeps eating everyone’s lunch

Oscar Ragg reviews director Alfonso Cuarón’s latest and broods over the streaming giant muscling its way into critical acclaim.

 
Fashion at The University of Melbourne: On The Go

CAPTURED: POSING! WAITING FOR A LECTURE @ ARTS WEST SHOP THE LOOK: HEAD TO TOE ZARA, HERSHEL BAG & NIKE KICKS CAPTURED: RUSHING TO ANOTHER TUTE OUTSIDE THE JOHN MEDLEY BUILDING FASHION ICON: GDRAGON UNIMELB FASHION: COSY CAPTURED: IN LINE FOR A COFFEE @ THE STANDING ROOM SHOP THE LOOK: STUSSY BOMBER, MB, HOODIE & […]

 
Gang of Youths @ The Forum

Before they close their set, Le’aupepe leaves the audience with perhaps the most important messages behind Go Farther in Lightness—to forgive, to love, to live and to look after one another. Life can be shit but there are ways to make it better, and Le’aupepe has learnt that.

 
Faculty of Arts Festival Shows Installation About Rape at the University and Residential Colleges

The Faculty of Arts’ Encounters with Writing Mini-Festival, held on 18 October 2018, displayed a work by woman-identifying student artists about rape on the University of Melbourne campus, particularly in the residential colleges. Encounters with Writing is an exhibition showcasing the works of University of Melbourne’s third-year undergraduate students who are completing their creative writing major.

 
Top Five Songs of the Melbourne Reputation Tour

When Taylor Swift wowed a sold out crowd at Marvel Stadium, bringing her Reputation Tour to Melbourne, there definitely wasn’t a song the crowd didn’t enjoy. But if we had to narrow it down, here are our top five songs of the Melbourne Reputation Tour. 1. Ready For It Taylor made her entrance on stage, […]

 
A Small Collection of Things in Reverse

She was on her knees by a depressive begonia.
“They’re not getting any air in here,” she said when she saw me. “It’s gotten to the point where I have to go around breathing on them, multiple times a day.”
I unloaded the box on the kitchen counter.

 
morning sun

Kiss her shoulders with peach lipstick on, remind the skin
to soften. On the new day that we have here, the sun
comes out more often.

 
My Chinese name is my middle name when I’m in Melbourne

????????for gracing
me with an English name, unlike some
peers who had to live by Rui Qi, Xian Yu.

 
The Wall

The sky in the frog’s eyes
is only as big as the mouth of the well

 
Micro Village

dry chamomile grinds between my toes
passing the skin of a goat hung proud
air perfumed by fresh leeks
stirred in warm water by an ancestor’s hand

 
Silent Bodies

It is only recently that McAllister returned to perform, for the first time since becoming artistic director, in the Australian Ballet’s production of The Merry Widow in Melbourne. On a stage saturated by diamond-studded dresses and scarlet curtains, McAllister appears as Njegus, the bumbling secretary to the ambassador. Pantomimic and slapstick, the fantasy is in full swing—and McAllister knows how to play the game. The audience drinks deeply from his perfectly timed winks and silly walk

 
Bananas: A Timeline

For the last six breakfasts, Annina has eaten bread with jam—a meal that tastes the same everywhere in the world— but today she can’t see either ingredient. The man behind her gives her an impatient nudge and Annina reaches for a strange yellow fruit at the edge of a platter. She tears the banana away from its identical siblings and holds it limply in her hand. It’s crescent-shaped with rubbery skin, like nothing she’s ever seen before. In her impoverished village, where a single or

 
Cops on Campus

Two plainclothes police officers allegedly asked for UniMelb apparel to “blend in and look more like students” at Union House in late July, according to a staffer of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU).

 
From a Passion, to a Club

I wanted to do everything, but it certainly didn’t help that there are over 200 clubs. Even so, I couldn’t find one that I was totally enthusiastic about. For those who aren’t satisfied with the current selection, don’t worry. Not only can you join a club, you can also create a new club!

 
Accepting the Uncertainty

My PhD confidence crisis crept up on me so slowly that I barely noticed it. There was no tectonic shift—I love you PhD, I love you not—nor was there any acrimonious fracture of my supervisory relationships or mounting distain for my topic. But when the words of Dr Seuss’s Oh The Places You’ll Go! started resonating with me and perfectly described my PhD trajectory, I knew it was time to take a breath.

 
Renewed Constitution and Governance for UMSU in 2019

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) is currently reviewing plans to overhaul its governance and constitution. The plans are projected to be finalised by the end of the year, with the overhaul set for semester one, 2019.

 
Campus News Briefing: Goodbye Glyn, Tribunal, Dancing

Welcome to your latest campus news briefing.

 
Profile: Freya McGrath

Dancing with Freya McGrath is a transformational experience—it is an ecstatic declaration of the power of the body, and in her latest work she asks you to enter that space too. Will you take the plunge?

 
Flash Fiction Seven: Galaxies and Outer Space

Close your eyes and accept the tug. Crunch the numbers and you’ll be safe. But the tangible dangers of collision aren’t what I distrust. It is the stasis of what it lacks that makes me uneasy. It will always be an eerie pull that I can only see in my messy calculations, only existing inside my head.

 
I Do Not Have a White Name

So, no, I do not have a white name. I wish other non-white people didn’t either. Our names are beautiful. They speak of our roots, cultures, homes we so dearly love. I would rather repeat my name thrice than cut it to make someone else more comfortable.

 
Fringe Festival: Freya McGrath Dances For 24 Hours

“I’ve discovered and created a great deal of who I am, and what I care about, on the dance floor,” Freya McGrath says.

 
UMSU Election Results Live

Welcome to the Farrago liveblog of the University of Melbourne Student Union election results.

 
Turnt in For What?

Students who submit essays to Turnitin might find their essays commodified for paid plagiarism-checking services such as WriteCheck.

 
Student Card Replacement Fees Highest in the Country

The University of Melbourne’s student card replacement fee is the highest in the country, and at $50 is nearly double the average national cost.

 
Edition Seven Editorial

Here’s how you get someone to vote for you in a student election. You print flyers and wear a brightly coloured t-shirt and stand somewhere on campus reasonably close to one of the voting booths, like the one in the lobby of the Baillieu Library.

 
UMSU Election Coverage 2018

Welcome to Farrago’s coverage of the 2018–19 University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) elections.

 
Review: Juliet, Naked

What follows is a fairly predictable falling in love story with the added humour of Duncan’s mixture of disbelief and jealously over his idol “fancying” his now ex-girlfriend. O’Dowd plays his classic loveable type but with a sheen of wanker that makes you feel thoroughly uncomfortable and like the world is spinning off kilter.

 
Crazy Steve Rodgers Part Two: Bucky and I Are Getting Married!

Everything appears serene until IRON MAN flies through the sky with a loud whoosh! He is distributing fluttering bits of paper from above. The camera pans down to street level, and one of the papers flutters into view. It reads: Wedding of the Century: Bucky Barnes and Captain America in classy italic font.

 
McFuck It

“Okay, it’s fine. It’s Macca’s, they won’t question my order…uh, hi. Can I get three-hundred and sixty nuggets?”

 
o

like a pearl-shaped ship on an inky sea
she glides imperceptibly, making headway
without want of lighthouse, for no beacon

 
utmost virtue

name winds more surely than children
or virtues of the land
‘Mercy’
and sea
‘Patience’

 
Amber Blindfold

I am afraid of the bees. I can’t pass through them. My hair doesn’t coil into antennae and I have no wings; my vertebrae is flat and fearful and all too human. Oh, how they swarm and shiver in golden rivers. Dew drop, dew drop, forbidden fruity sweat.

 
shelling pistachios

she wonders. do they sleep
stuck inside out like upturned cockroaches.
leftover crumbs of laughter

 
by accident, unasked for and foreign policy

the sky is your enemy’s
napkin, stitched together
by your forgiveness

 
Edition Six Editorial

One of the main reasons the media exists, and Farrago exists, is the hope that our writing might change things for the better.

 
The End Of History?

History is more than just the study of great men, great ideas and great events. Race, gender and class are not reductive categories in the study of history, and many of those crucial events they laud the study of cannot be properly understood without these lenses.

 
The Students Have Their Say: Results of the Safety on Campus Survey

Content warning: sexual violence, racist attacks, murder

 
E.T. Phone Home

Alien. That’s the best way to describe it. Being an immigrant often feels like you’re between a rock and a hard place. But the rock is the place you are now, and the hard place is fitting in. Always in between, always not quite there, mentally or physically. Physically, missing out on schoolies for a family trip back to the home that is spoken of at least once every family meal. Mentally, always worlds away, wrapped up in stories from family about faraway lands, of sights, smells and peop

 
The Elephant Is Staying

Still soft and clean, The Elephant unlike most bed buddies of adults who still sleep with stuffed toys, has not been here that long

 
Ten Things I Wish I’d Learned By Now

Dad always told me that life is full of lessons, that life is a journey where you don’t ever stop learning—no matter how old you get. Late last year, I learnt that if you boil your pasta in salted water, the pasta will taste a zillion time better (many thanks to my housemate for that quick tip). Earlier this year I learnt what it meant to do right by yourself—this was something I learnt the hard way. With that, here are ten things I wish I’d learned by now.

 
Fodder Feature: Radio Fodder Station Managers

When I first applied to host a show on Radio Fodder in 2016, the station had only been around for a year or so. At this stage, it was run by the media officers with the help of some dedicated volunteers. Being split between a bunch of different obligations, the Farrago editors didn’t always have the time to help us out. Realising this, this year’s editors created positions for two station managers to help nurture Radio Fodder and its roster of talent.

 
Snake Shouts

Her eldest daughter picks up the cake tin and takes it inside. She puts her son down and he toddles after them. She passes her mother in the doorway. “Typical of him to leave it on the verandah like that.”

 
We Know What You’re All About

Here’s the wrong way to govern: listen to what the wealthy and powerful want, then work backwards to an argument for why it’s good for ordinary people. Here’s the right way to govern: don’t worry about what the power-brokers want. It’s usually bad for the rest of us. Just listen to what ordinary people need, […]

 
I Love Frankie Cosmos

I was floating down the streets of Paris at 40 kilometres per second, my arms straining against his denim jacket, laundry powder and cigarette smoke and joyful fear. A thousand indie rock songs spinning in my ears. Like a dream from a movie where I couldn’t belong. I was in Paris in summer, and I was having the time of my life. He had curly hair and converses and he was Into Music.

 
Review: Bloomsbury’s Guinea Pig Classics

As of December 2017, A Guinea Pig Romeo & Juliet was selling better on Amazon than the original version. All theory aside, people love Guinea Pig Classics. Arguably the best way to figure out why is to directly consult the consumers themselves. As I am not due to interact with any actual children in the week leading up to submitting this review, I read A Guinea Pig Romeo and Juliet to my friend after a few pints.  “Omg little butt”, she says, and “soooooo worried, oh nooo”. I th

 
Review: Leave No Trace

After eight long years, the genius that is Debra Granik returns with a feature film that is as beautiful a piece of unhurried filmmaking as Winter’s Bone was. Leave No Trace—an adaptation of the novel, My Abandonment by Peter Rock—follows Will, an army veteran, and Tom, his thirteen year old daughter, who call home a little camp set-up made of tarps and other equipment in the wilderness of a nature reserve in Oregon.

 
Review: Splendour In The Grass 2018

Splendour is connecting with old friends and making new ones in a campsite or a crowd. Splendour is getting drunk in a tent. Splendour is discovering new bands and appreciating your old favourites. Splendour is the blue feeling you get when it’s all over and you’re re-listening to your favourite acts.

 
Campus News Briefing: Lockheed, Love Letters and Scams

Welcome to semester two, and welcome to your campus news briefing.

 
Alice

It was almost summer and it was lighter for longer these days. The dying heat of the day wafted off the asphalt, bringing the evening down to a temperature where one could comfortably go without shoes. Nicholas didn’t have the luxury of a balcony, so instead he sat on his windowsill with his suit pants loosely rolled above his hairy ankles, dangling his sockless feet over the last of the evening traffic below.

 
Part Five: “I can see his pride / Peep through each part of him”

Shakespeare stood in front of the mirror sans a shirt. He had hair on his nipples. He clutched a stumpy device and rubbed it under his arms, for odorous fumes he was told he exuded. He’d fallen in failure’s arms the semester prior, and he was bracing his mind for the semester to come. The bard pinched some waxy cream and rubbed it about his pate. His brown locks were now pointed, dipping down upon his brow.

 
Phone Scam Targets Chinese Students

Members of the Chinese community living in Australia, particularly students, are being targeted by a phone scam exploiting the fact that they are separated from their families.

 
University Agrees to Meeting with Student Activists About Lockheed Martin

From 7:30am on Wednesday, 11 July, students from the campus-based activist group Lockout Lockheed chained themselves to concrete-filled barrels to prevent staff, including Chancellery, the top tier leadership of the University, from entering their offices in Raymond Priestley.

 
Review: Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation

After an exhaustive experience being the painfully uninterested tag-along to my sister’s shopping spree at both Sephora and Mecca Maxima, Melbourne Central’s pre-release event for Hotel Transylvania 3 was upon us.

 
What Will People Say: Cultural Conflict and Emotional Weight

What Will People Say (Hva Vil Folk Si) is a Norwegian coming-of-age drama written and directed by Iram Haq.

 
Review: Brian Jonestown Massacre @ The Forum

A distinct sense of unease lingered over the Brian Jonestown Massacre’s Melbourne gig on Thursday night.

 
High Marks: Greg Sestero on Best F(r)iends, The Room, and unexpected stardom
Jon (Greg Sestero) and Harvey (Tommy Wiseau) prepare for a gripping journey in Best F(r)iends. Photo

Greg Sestero, author of The Disaster Artist, becomer of Mark in “Oh hai, Mark”, first imagined the plot of his new movie Best F(r)iends while on drugs.

 
Review: Autechre

Their live show was a methodological, analytical, scientific and mathematical manipulation of sound palettes to create mosaics.

 
Review: 2018 FWF’s Writing Violence, Writing Change

The two-hour session was split into two segments, the first being a discussion led by prompts while the second segment was a Question-And-Answer session. In a room filled with women and non-binary people, it felt like a safe space where everyone was learning from each other and discussing how we can save the world from its horribleness because men cannot behave.

 
Exams for the Self-Conscious

From experience, I know that the potential for overthinking exists in any situation, even during the infamous exam period. Maybe you’re thinking that everyone is too busy cramming last minute knowledge into their brains to stress about what other people are doing. If that’s true for you, my heartiest congratulations. But the rest of us […]

 
Review: Soul Craft Festival

The inaugural Soul Craft Festival brought together experienced and novice crafters alike from all over the world, for a packed and fun weekend, celebrating craft. This year, it was held at the historic Meat Market located in North Melbourne. The festival had master classes, panel talks, demonstrations, exhibitions, a marketplace, and even workshops! The programme […]

 
Christian McBride’s New Jawn @ The Jazzlab

Christian McBride’s performance was a charismatic and captivating expression of experimental jazz.

 
Chris Dave & The Drumhedz @ 170 Russell

Chris Dave has been called one of the best drummers in the world today, and as the audience expectantly waits in a darkened basement on a chilly Melbourne evening, the anticipation is palpable.

 
Review: Iron & Wine at the Melbourne Recital Centre

Iron & Wine come out into a concert hall filled with pensioners, arts administrators wearing Gorman and people who just really love the Recital Centre. I’m not saying it’s not beautiful, just that my mum and I (sitting in our separate rows) are more used to mud and folk festivals than this. But I guess that’s what you get being one of the biggest folkie, Bible Belt stars in the world—playing twice in one night.

 
Overpopulation: Other People’s Problem

Katie Doherty looks at overpopulation

 
Ghosts of Tenants Past

Alex D. Epstein becomes a vigilante photo-returner

 
Review: Ocean Alley

The entire audience recites the words “It’s all about confidence baby” in response to the warbling guitars and gave the band a deserved rapturous applause, with the song’s ending.

 
Judge’s 7+7

strange land where meat regrets the eater &
it’s a rare strength indeed
ain’t sweetened by a drop of honey

 
Bananas

The living room looked out over Elgin Street. Her flat was flanked by an Indian restaurant and a car park. The boobs the chalk were referencing could only be hers. She flung open the window and leant out, as if the scent of the chalk writer still hung on the air and she could sniff them out.

 
Mengambil Semula

Di manakah anda semua menyembunyi? Di tepi sudut dewan kuliah atau di belakang kelas? Sebagai seorang yang sentiasa senyap, anda tidak bergerak dan dengan sentiasa pandangan mereka berpaling kepadamu.

 
Down at Eagle Creek

And as he hammered his father’s father’s words into the ground,
time seemed to slip into the distant horizon
and the ute, crushed in half, sank deeper into Eagle Creek.

 
Lights

I’m entranced by lighting stores
imagining our kitchen
and lounge
and how it would feel when one day
you were home.

 
writing in vain

the telly has given its verdict:
the world is too big to be contained in its chest
and it cannot find a colour for its own blood
so what else but spirited away?

 
Heritage-Listed Campbell Arcade Under Threat of Demolition

Campbell Arcade, a haven for creatives nestled in the Arts district underneath Melbourne’s Degraves Lane, is under threat of partial demolition as a result of current plans released by the Melbourne Metro Rail Authority (MMRA) and Cross Yarra Partnership (CYP) to accommodate for the multi-billion dollar Metro Tunnel project due in 2025.

 
Christmas Eve

The dog loves it!
She finds bottles full of human urine
or a half-full coke can
and tears off over the horizon only to return
sticky and licking her stained lips.

 
Review: Ellida at La Mama

That being said, the whole thing is pretty. It is just so, so pretty. The language is beautiful, the set is stunning, and the performances are solid. If you’re a big Ibsen fan: go. If you’re a set-design nerd: go. If you’re looking for a pleasant and dreamy way to spend an evening: go. Just remember to leave your riot gear at home.

 
Lawful Neutral
BLaw_by_Ayonti

Luke Macaronas talks with Benjamin Law about gay voices in journalism and hate-fucking politicians

 
Review: The Bookshop

The Bookshop is, at its most generous, a film that grants us with the delighting physicality of books, wafting the cinematic equivalent of that musty, antique book-smell into our eager eyes and ears.

 
Review: Brothers’ Nest

Brothers’ Nest follows brothers Terry and Jeff (Clayton and Shane Jacobson) as they return to their childhood home with unclear intentions.

 
NUS Build a Better Budget Campaign Launch Liveblog

Hello and welcome to Farrago’s liveblog of the National Union of Students’ ‘Build a Better Budget’ campaign launch.

 
Review: MUSC’s Plastic Shakespeare

Like peanut butter and chocolate, Shakespeare and Warhol, MUSC’s Plastic Shakespeare presents a continual pairing of elements that shouldn’t quite work together, but, nine times out of ten, they do, and it makes for beautiful, original theatre.

 
Careers in Nursing: An Interview with Nurse Lucy Osborn

It feels like just about everybody knows a nurse, whether it’s a friend, a relative, or themselves, but do we actually know what it’s like? Long nights, thinking on your feet, and for Lucy Osborn, a love affair with her bed after a gruelling shift. I spoke to Lucy ahead of International Nurses Day about […]

 
Behind the Market

                           

 
‘Bone House’, the Light in a Broken Alley
Bone House Scott Laudati

When the world has constantly been exposed to the likes of Instagram poets, it can be incredibly difficult to find poignant writing that delivers something else, a level of almost distress, tinged with the encouragement to live out your life as best you can.

 
The Simpsons: Watching Ourselves

The world of The Simpsons is very much the one we live in: corrupt politicians, dysfunctional family, crass jokes galore. When we turn on the TV and find the residents of Springfield beating the mayor to a pulp with a baseball bat, we don’t feel like we’re watching some remote yellow lifeforms prancing around. Instead, […]

 
Review: On Body and Soul / Testrol és lélekrol

CONTENT WARNING: mild discussion of gore, killing of animals. A story of two individuals navigating the complexities of emotions and intimacy, On Body and Soul (Testrol és lélekrol) is a moving film for anyone who has ever felt alone. Expertly weaving multiple layers of meaning together, Hungarian director Ildikó Enyedi has created a masterpiece which reflects on the human condition within modern society. This film also made me uncomfortable – and so it should.

 
Campus News Briefing: UMSU International, CAPS and a Lock-Out

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago‘s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
University ID Cards Creating Distress and Costs for Gender-Diverse Students

The University of Melbourne’s administrative system requires a student’s name to be changed legally before it can be changed on their ID card, placing a financial burden on gender diverse students.

 
Counselling and Psychological Services To Make Big Changes This Year

The University of Melbourne’s Counselling and Psychological Services (CAPS) is making changes this year in order to accommodate increasing demand.

 
Total Dropkick Desperately Tries To Get Picked For The One Tute Question He Can Answer

In a pathetic attempt to salvage as much of his unavoidably dismal tutorial participation mark as possible, local dropkick John Lin has reportedly leapt at the opportunity to answer the easiest of seven tutorial questions.

 
Review: Journey Beyond Fear

There’s a scene in Journey Beyond Fear in which father Bismillah describes losing his entire family as a child in Afghanistan. “I have not had any happiness since,” he says. It’s a stark reminder of just how profoundly struggle and loss have defined the lives of him and so many others. And yet, despite all the obstacles they face, all the uncertainty of their circumstances, they go on, day after day.

 
Breaking: Climate Change Still A Thing

Katie Doherty on the 24-hour news cycle

 
A Shit Job
Sharon Huang Liang: Hiring

Trent Vu on working in hospitality and retail

 
Australian PMs Ranked By Hotness
AustralianPMs_CathyChen

Danielle Scrimshaw on the unsung hotties of history class

 
Bananas

I open my eyes. The bananas are still there: curved bodies and rubbery skins speckled with dark bruises, decay spreading from the inside. I tug at the smallest one but it doesn’t budge. With a quick, jerky movement of my fist I rip the banana away from the bunch, exposing a crooked line of flesh just below the tip. The distinct smell hits me immediately.

 
Part Three: “A poor man’s right in the law; ’twill hardly come out”

Shakespeare’s head tilted. From his understanding a myki was but a noise. How could he show one a beeping sound? How, indeed, could one even possess a beeping sound? His face advertised his guilt and the hairy man’s pupils dilated.

 
A Union

gossiping stars circling
I have only good intentions to tell
they shoot their way off into the abyss
all is bliss. all is well.

 
Review: Celia Pacquola is an Absolute Delight

Clever, warm and honest, Pacquola effortlessly intertwines hilarious personal anecdotes including her reaction to being flashed by a man while out with a friend, with serious undertones of her grappling with her unbalanced mental health. The latter is particularly poignant, as Pacquola has publicly climbed the ladder of success and fame over the last couple of years, for which she notes the majority of the audience would have come expecting “that nice girl from the ABC”.

 
Review: Double Denim Adventure Show
Double Denim

Michelle Brasier and Laura Frew, who together make up the comedy duo double denim, present Double Denim Adventure Show during this years’ Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF) season.

 
Interview: Lucy Peach
Lucy Peach

Lucy Peach stars as the greatest human being in her award-winning show My Greatest Period Ever.

 
Interview: Guy Montgomery
Guy Montgomery

Guy Montgomery has the linguistic ability and dissertation of a young Freud.

 
Campus News Briefing: Burnley, KPIs and a Buried Bill

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Review: BØRNS at Howler

In the inevitable encore, BØRNS apologises for his bad manners. “I’m sorry. I didn’t wish you sweet dreams…” And promptly launches into Sweet Dreams. I buy a t-shirt. Sweet Dreams Tour 2018.

 
An Interview with UHT’s Production and Venue Manager, Khat Kerr

I am responsible for supervising and overseeing the Union Theatre and the Guild Theatre spaces and for many other tasks and activities including the scheduling of all student theatre group productions, UHT presented productions and liaising with all external hirers.

 
Sustainable Investment Framework Reveals Fossil Fuel Divestment Not on University Agenda

The University of Melbourne released its Sustainable Investment Framework (SIF) on 28 March, outlining the University’s approach to sustainability in its investment portfolios and processes. The SIF established that the University will not be be adopting a ‘strict exclusion approach’ from investing in the fossil fuel industry, citing concerns around ‘financial strength’.

 
Review: Seu Jorge—A Tribute to David Bowie

Not often is the spirit of a legendary performer so clearly present in the inevitable tribute concerts they inspire. But Seu Jorge’s ‘Life Aquatic—a Tribute to David Bowie’ is more than a tribute concert; it’s a transcendent, dreamy homage to Bowie’s genius.

 
Can an Individual’s Choice Make a Difference in the Face of Global Warming?
Personal Behaviour - Lincoln Glasby

Katie Doherty on an individual’s choice in the face of global warming

 
Classes For Social Underachievers

The purpose of class is to learn but honestly, who can absorb knowledge and participate in class whilst attempting to be a socially functioning human being? (Sorry tutors, but trying to get a room full of students to discuss some farfetched topic is like me trying to stop procrastinating and finish that essay due in […]

 
Review: Rose Matafeo’s Horndog

There’s an old adage people like to use when explaining comedy, which is “comedy equals tragedy plus time”. Although the abundance of depressed and alcoholic comedians seems to support this saying, it is also true that comedy can come from many different, happy emotions and from positive experiences. Rose Matafeo’s Horndog is a show primarily about celebrating things that this young, New Zealander stand-up loves and it’s a delightful change of pace.

 
Interview: Matt Vasquez

When I first saw Matt Vasquez perform comedy, I was about to go on stage. His first impression was legendary and the marksmanship of a great comedian.

 
Fodder Feature: Off Beet
Adibah Amani Nasarudin - Off Beet

When I asked presenters Ashleigh Hastings and Carolyn Huane how they would explain the premise of Off Beet to virgins of their show, they offered “local bands, banter and hopefully enjoyable music” as a tagline.

 
Ticket, Please
Ticket Please by Renee de Vlugt

Lily Raynes on surviving the public transport system with a minimum of dignity

 
“Earth to Ale.”

There’s a voice, and suddenly everything around you comes into focus. You see a hand waving insistently in front of your face.

“You okay? You need some air?”

 
A Piano That Plays Itself: Music Technology in the 21st Century

I can’t imagine that it’d be particularly difficult to picture an Elton John performance; he is well-known, to say the least, for his distinctive voice, ostentatious outfits and his trademark piano that always accompanies him on stage. However, at one performance in 2013, a few lucky fans were able to hear Elton John’s playing live and in person without even having to leave their living room.

 
Bands & Bevs: Psychadelic Porn Crumpets

Mind bending Perth outfit, Psychedelic Porn Crumpets, are descending upon North Court this Tuesday at 1. Since the release of the reality altering ‘High Visceral’ parts one and two (as well as some B-Sides) the band has played support slots for the likes of King Gizzard, The Murlocs along with selling out shows nationwide. The […]

 
Review: Orny Adams—More Than Loud

Despite the startling scene, Orny advised we take a five minute break before getting back with the show as we formed little discussion groups about the brawl. Orny returned with a sombre tone as he reminded us what we all love about comedy, especially his brand of comedy. It never seeks to divide. It’s to make us all laugh. He looked at us and pumped his fist in the air (or at least that’s what it felt like) and sought to reclaim the night from the assholes—one of whom couldn’t keep a

 
GSA Reforms Fail to Pass at SGM

The proposed governance changes to the Graduate Student Association’s (GSA) structure have failed after being put to a vote at their special general meeting (SGM) on 22 March. The meeting was attended by 151 graduate students, of whom 67 students voted up the constitutional reforms and 56 voted them down.

 
Campus News Briefing: Fossil Free, Removalists and The GSA

Click here to stay up to date with campus news and receive Farrago’s news briefings delivered to your inbox every fortnight.

 
Students Protest $2.2 Billion Cuts to Higher Education

A contingent of over 30 University of Melbourne students joined forces with fellow Victorian students at the State Library of Victoria to protest the Coalition government’s $2.2 billion cuts to higher education on Wednesday, 21 March.

 
Fossil Free Hangs Out The University’s Dirty Laundry

Today students from Fossil Free Melbourne University (FFMU) hung up their dirty laundry outside the Raymond Priestley building to put pressure on the University to divest from fossil fuels.

 
Grainger Things

Despite being initially called the ‘Grainger Museum and Music Museum’, it really only shines light upon Grainger himself.

 
Bands & Bevs: Riley Pearce

Up and coming Indie singer-songwriter, Riley Pearce, is the latest act set to take the stage at the University of Melbourne Student Union’s Tuesday ‘Bands & Bevs’ this semester. Currently touring the country, you can catch Riley at 1pm in North Court this Tuesday. Based in Perth, Riley has released a has released a string […]

 
Backstage at The Hollywood Improv Comedy Club
OrnyAdams

When Orny Adams walks in. I almost don’t recognise him. Clad in a leather jacket, I quickly cue his unmistakable energy.

 
WATCH: Adani in the Batman By-Election

  Image courtesy of Hugh Shanahan from Polity. Polity is a new student-run media organisation, which aims to challenge readers’ consumption patterns, and take them outside of their echo-chambers. You can see more of their work at Polity.online.

 
A¨rkamine/Awakening
Arkamine by Rebecca Fowler

by Silvi Vann-Wall

 
Philosophy Student Not Unemployed But “Challenging Neoliberal Paradigms”

Andrew Wilkies has boldly challenged the economic world order by refusing to consider the possibility of employment.

 
UMSU Environment Office Bearer Report

We fucked up. Edition two of Farrago contained the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) environment department’s office bearer report from edition one. We love them and we’re sorry for this. Here’s the correct version.

 
Clippy

— Don’t try so hard to be profound. It’s annoying.
— I’m writing how I feel.
— You were eating a chip when you had your first kiss. Okay. Gross. But the chip is not a symbol, Miranda. You don’t feel it flaccid, lukewarm, lodged at the back of your throat as you speak and especially when you remain silent. A potato is not the patriarchy. Anyway, what is this supposed to be? Is it a poem?

 
Susurration

ephemeral dalliance.
diaphanous gossamer.
caress, tessellate.

 
Bands & Bevs: Kingswood

Purveyors of Australian rock Kingswood are the latest act set to dazzle students as part of the University of Melbourne Student Union’s band and bevs series. Fresh off the back of an extensive tour in support of their sophomore album After Hours, Close to Dawn, Kingswood will be gracing the stage at North Court outside […]

 
Review: Fashion Talk 3, Shopping with the Future Generation at VAMFF

This begs the age-old question: can men really accurately create a completely expressive space for women through fashion? It was acknowledged numerous times, the irony of celebrating men in women’s fashion, during the week of International Women’s Day – and we can look back and see some of the world’s best interpreters of women’s dressing have been men: Versace, Gucci, and more recently, Olivier Rousteing of Balmain.

 
“Balls to the wall and go do it!”: An Interview with Comedian Urzila Carlson

“The most recent one that I heard is, “Studies have shown the effects of cocaine on honey bees.” I didn’t even know honey bees have nostrils! Number one, who has leftover cocaine? And number two, who has millions of dollars to spend on this study? We’re already having problems with the number of honey bees, should we really be giving them cocaine?”

 
Panic: Student Forgets Everything About Self During First Week Tutorials

Mary Griffith, 18, was completely at a loss after being asked to provide a single interesting fact about herself last week.

 
Graduate Student Association Proposes Major Governance Reforms

The Graduate Student Association (GSA) has unveiled plans to introduce a professional board of directors in sweeping changes to the governance and management of the organisation.

 
Review: The National at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl

The first day of March—a cloudy, windy day, perfect for the occasion, brings the National and thousands of fans to Sidney Myer Music Bowl.

 
Review: The Death of Stalin

Small screen satirist Armando Iannucci raises his comedy-in-incompetence shtick to new heights in a bizarrely English-language feature adaptation of a French graphic novel based on the antics of Soviet executives after the death of their leader, Joseph Stalin. Filtered through two degrees of creative licence, and stamped with Iannucci’s trademark sense of humour, The Death of Stalin fails to achieve any intelligent satire, but instead provides a generous slop of visual and verbal slapstick

 
Marriage Equality: End Goal, Or Own Goal?
Marriage Equality by Nellie Seale

Andie Moore on why the advent of marriage equality risks bringing the queer rights movement to a halt.

 
Fodder Feature: Snappy Hour
Snappy Hour by Adibah Amani Nasarudin

This year, Farrago introduces a new column—‘Fodder Feature’. Each edition, Trent Vu will conduct an interview with the talent behind a show on Melbourne Uni’s student-run radio station.

 
Review: Shorts Session #2 at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival

I attended a shorts session and saw an amazing diversity of films, and no, I’m not taking about race and gender, but rather ideas, genres and mediums. There were comedies, horrors, metaphors and romances.

 
Review: Shorts Session #1 at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival

Despite knowing nothing about any of the films to be screened, we felt welcomed as though we were part of the crews that created them. Each filmmaker spoke modestly about their own work, and gushingly about the work of others. It was clear we were sitting in a room full of women supporting and uplifting one another, and this incentive radiated through all of the films.

 
Review: Operation Jeedara
Operation Jeedara

Sea Shepherd’s Operation Jeedara begins with smoke and fire engulfing the screen. The film is book-ended by dramatic shots and detailed descriptions of the damage caused by British Petroleum’s offshore oil rigs.

 
Review: Winchester—A Misfiring Jumpscare Fest

Winchester is a haunted-house horror film directed by Michael and Peter Spierig, and is based on the true account of Sarah Winchester.

 
Part One: “I sigh’d my English breath in foreign clouds”

It was 1578. William Shakespeare was 14 years old when he left school. Then he disappeared. Between 1578 and 1582, there is no documented evidence linking the bard to any job or location. Nobody knows what Shakespeare did in those four years. Until now.

 
pink fringe liquid stars

my body is nothing but ocean
and vivid black sky and i feel whole
she is somewhere floating behind me
solid and present while i am
nothing but liquid stars
she reaches for me and i sink into the womb

 
Review: Thank You for the Rain at the Transitions Film Festival

From its focus on the inequality between individuals to the broader inaction and disinterest of the world’s most privileged governments, Thank You for the Rain is compelling and inspirational, but somehow also left me with an overwhelming sense of despondency. It doesn’t give any answers, but is a timely and stunning film that tells an urgent story.

 
Edition One Editorial

What stays the same, though—in all student media—is the sense that what you’re reading doesn’t matter at all but is possibly the most important thing in the world.

 
Adventures In Student Cooking: Mi Goreng

Mi Goreng—the saviour of every university student. I first discovered this versatile dish after a friend gave me 12 packets. While she’s since moved on to bigger, better and presumably healthier things, Mi Goreng has become a staple in my pantry.

 
Budget Breakdown

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) passed its 2018 budget on 18 December 2017, bringing with it a raft of funding increases to the student representative departments. Funded by the Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF), an annual fee of nearly $300, UMSU is an institution intended to provide a range of services to […]

 
Metro Madness: What to Expect as Parkville Station Works Commence in 2018

Major works on the new Parkville Station are scheduled to commence in February, necessitating the closure of Grattan Street for up to five years. University of Melbourne students travelling to and from campus may face transport disruptions and pedestrian delays as works commence on the $11 billion Metro Tunnel project. “Inevitably, construction will affect us […]

 
Hamper

The wind will read your palm like a dessert menu.
Your blood will be determined, though not by
letter but by norm.

 
New Campus for Engineering Students

The University will be constructing a new campus for the Melbourne School of Engineering (MSE) at Fishermans Bend, on seven hectares of land purchased from the Victorian Government. This is part of a $1 billion commitment to create a world-leading engineering school in a key urban renewal precinct near the city. The new campus will […]

 
Disturbing Study Ranks Unimelb Below RMIT In Instagrammable Locations

A study conducted by the Student Union for Instagram Welfare (SUIW) has sent ripples through the UniMelb community after RMIT was given a higher rating in terms of Instagrammable locations. The University was quick to respond to the damning findings, releasing a social media official to make a press statement. Farrago‘s The Grub was in […]

 
O Sacrum Convivum

Chink of green glass ‘chin-chin’ under
mosquito-hive canopy, and the sky above
is just really big. We have a clear dusk.
Sip the Jesus juice and sit in silence
for the sacrament.

 
Sushi

she likes to be cosy
not warm but
wrapped up

 
Review: AntigoneX

AntigoneX is an odd beast. Probably we should have anticipated this—the Midsumma Festival isn’t generally the place for traditional theatre. But queering a classic Greek play, through the lens of modern Australian politics, made for something deeply entertaining but also utterly baffling.

 
University Square Possums Unionise After Council Threatens To Destroy Their Trees

In a display of solidarity not seen since the 1856 workers strike at the University of Melbourne, a group of brushtail possums have unionised after plans emerged for council to destroy trees they have inhabited for generations. The City of Melbourne plans, announced in August, will ensure the destruction of numerous iconic trees in University […]

 
University Speaks Out On $2.1 Billion Higher Education Cuts

The University of Melbourne has broken its silence on the cuts to higher education in the government’s Mid-Year Economic and Fiscal Outlook (MYEFO). The changes, which will see $2.1 billion cut from Australian universities and cap enrolment numbers, could affect students’ tuition fees and postgraduate plans. “The University of Melbourne is disappointed that the federal […]

 
UMSU Passes Motion Condemning the Guardian’s ‘Bird of the Year’ Survey

The University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) Students’ Council passed a motion to condemn Guardian Australia for its failure to provide a preferential voting system in their ‘bird of the year’ survey. The survey, launched by Guardian Australia on Monday, allows users to vote for one of 51 native Australian birds. Currently, the poll is […]

 
Looking for Ely Bahiana

Who the hell is Ely Kosanovich?

 
New Vice-Chancellor Announced

Duncan Maskell has taken out the top job after a long search for the University of Melbourne’s new vice-chancellor

 
2016

The lioness in the tiles and I’m crying

 
LawSon

Jess’ logic was that a towering, six foot Nigella Lawson in my kitchen would shame me into action.

 
Aussie Salute

a ritual to dispel black invertebrates

 
Bendi-go Away

The University of Melbourne is currently resisting the proposal for a new regional medical school in Bendigo, to be jointly run by La Trobe University and Charles Sturt University.

 
Free Speech

Tensions have flared once again in the ongoing enterprise bargaining process between the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) and the University of Melbourne Administration.

 
FOI(LED) Again

End Rape on Campus (EROC) ambassador Nina Funnell has revealed the details of a rejected Freedom of Information (FOI) request she conducted on the University of Melbourne late last year.

 
Reno Grumble

As many as 50 University College (UC) residents at the University of Melbourne are being forced to live in alternative accommodation due to allegedly delayed renovations to the college. The students are currently living in UniLodge – which they say is a 20 minute walk from College Crescent. They must travel back and forth to […]

 
“What Now?” Says Arts Student

Ninety per cent of graduating Arts students “just didn’t think this far ahead, honestly”, new Australian Bureau of Statistics data shows.

 
Ideological Battleground

When I was younger, and a good church-attending lass, a phrase I heard a lot was “remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”. At the time, I thought it literally referred to my pupil, and poked myself way too many times in the eye trying to scoop it out (common sense did not come naturally to me). Now, of course, I realise it’s a metaphor for hypocrisy and self-awareness. 

 
Aunty Donna Enter Into The Next Dimension of Absurdity and Hilarity

Stepping into Aunty Donna’s office, I feel like Neil Armstrong diving into a timeless dimension of space. 

 
For & Against: Soup

FOR BY ELIZABETH HAIGH Soup is by far the greatest food that has ever existed. Not only is it cheap and easy to prepare, here are four more reasons why you should consume this wonderful creation. Health Benefits Hot soup is the perfect thing to soothe a sore throat. Studies have even found that chicken […]

 
Pollen

and you find yourself defenceless.

 
A Marxist Commentary of Chicken Run

Many people remember the first movie they truly enjoyed as a child, the first movie they really wanted to watch again after the first viewing. For me, this movie was Chicken Run.

 
Part Seven: Land Down Under

You know that feeling when you wake up after a really hectic night?

 
Radio

the being — nothing but a sign without meaning

 
Welcome, Alex!

There’s a new Office Bearer in town! We interviewed the new Indigenous Officer, Alexandra Hohoi to find out a little bit more about her!

 
Jumping Hurdles

With exams looming, students are concerned about whether changes to the Bachelor of Commerce (BCom) will impact their marks.

 
Inside the community that calls themselves ‘the scene’

If you’ve ever illegally downloaded a film, television program or video game, there’s a good chance you’ll have ended up with something from ‘the scene’. Intentionally vague and mysterious, the scene is a group of people who make a sport out getting the latest episode of Game of Thrones online, cracking the new Call of Duty, or getting the best quality encode of Baby Driver; kind of like fox-hunting but, arguably, more ethical.

 
The UMSU Elections Round Up

The only round up you need.

 
a collection of quiet thoughts

For as long as I can remember, I have not screamed.

 
Queen Street

It was all terribly grim and modern.

 
Weathered

I’m treasure hunting.

 
Soiled Queues

migrate from this tightening hole.

 
Everything is Haunting

I collected the fragments of stories she shared, the interrupted monologues, the almost silent memories and pieced them together.

 
Take a Hike

Rising costs associated with many university services remain largely unaddressed even after a review into rising fees.

 
Student Politician Denies Political Ambition, Fools No One

She is preparing to go “full campaign mode”, after sharing Julia Gillard’s Misogyny Speech on Facebook for the seventh time.

 
Resistance Made Futile

Singapore, 2012: Kannan, my uncle, dies aged fifty-one. Cause of death: myocardial infarction – heart failure. But the disease that ravaged his lungs and consumed his body goes unmentioned. My uncle’s tuberculosis (TB), contracted on a working-trip to India, went undiagnosed for 10 months.

 
Terrorism: In Conversation

Australians are more concerned than ever about the threat of terrorism, as we witness attacks that seem, through the lens of our media at least, to be sweeping Western cities. 

 
The Science of Scent

There’s something curiously humble about the flask-shaped perfume bottle that holds Chanel No. 5. Surprisingly, it never seems to get drowned out by the noise made by more ostentatious designs (Davidoff, anyone?).

 
Killer Instinct

Do you have killer instincts? Empathy that can’t be roused, a bloodlust that can’t be quenched? Some do – but were they born or bred? Let’s take a closer look, shall we? The Making of Ivan Milat It is said that psychopaths begin young. Perhaps their family begins to notice ‘off’ behaviour from childhood. This […]

 
Making Sense of Substance Abuse

CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, SUBSTANCE USE, SELF-HARM, MENTAL ILLNESS, MENTIONS OF QUEERPHOBIA “I did something stupid, again.” Fingers writhing, legs jittering, lips burning. My stomach feels like I keep missing a step. There’s guilt sitting at the base of my trachea, blocking my lungs like phlegm. A blonde woman sits opposite me, watching me struggle […]

 
The Firer

Gunther woke up feeling sick.

 
Three Poems

Begin again and again.

 
I ventured 8 steps on the road less taken

sometimes you have to cradle it

 
A Cup of Tea in Nepal

“Would you like to know more about our city?”

 
Tense

I feel like a total walnut!

 
Loose: A Nelly Fertarticle

No one else made a fuss about Nelly Furtado’s latest album when it was released three months ago, but I felt I owed it to her.

 
For & Against: Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran is a serenading, ginger god who has descended from the heavens to conquer the musical world.

 
Parents From Hell

Ah, Tasmania. The butt of jokes from smog-loving mainlanders and regularly omitted from the world map, it’s Australia’s often forgotten state.

 
Responding to the Ecocity World Summit

Former US Vice President and ongoing climate campaigner, Al Gore was the keynote speaker at the biennial Ecocity World Summit hosted in Melbourne last Thursday. Gore’s speech highlighted three main ideas pertaining to the gravity of climate change world-wide; Must we change? Can we change? Will we change? These three questions laid the foundation for […]

 
Seven and a Half Things I Hate About Winter

I have a few bones to pick with winter. Granted, I love getting to hide my comfort food weight gain under layers of black clothes. I also love Wynter Gordon (‘Dirty Talk’ is a bop), but that’s a whole other thing.

 
The Urgent

Pedestrian crossings beat as my heart.

 
Rigging, Sunday 3pm

“They’re called barn doors,” she tells me.

 
Lilydale / Belgrave Line

a tin of sardines in suits

 
Gilblin Eunson Library

There are forty pot plants in the Giblin Eunson Library. They are placed on the shelves, and above the study desks.

 
How To Cope With Your Estranged Mother Being In An Accident In Vietnam

CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF BLOOD/GORE

Step 1: Assume that this can happen anywhere, anytime. You don’t have to climb the Grand Canyon in the rain or trek a Cambodian jungle for your mother to cut the back of her leg. You can simply go to dinner in downtown Ho Chi Minh City and her Achilles tendon can be caught by the escalator. Even in your wildest imagination, you’d never thought the first meeting in years would result in severed muscles and artery. But life changing in the blin

 
Radical Is Not A Dirty Word

‘History is written by the winners,’ wrote George Orwell. I would rephrase, rather, that history is written by the privileged – those who have the power to decide the ‘truth’. Often, both the ‘winners’ and the ‘losers’ are replaced by carefully cultivated narratives steeped in political agendas and the struggles they fought for are lost in the muddy waters of elitism.

 
The Curious Case of the Chemist in Union House

Why students no longer have an on-campus pharmacy.

 
Review: Clunes Booktown Festival

There really is nothing like the look and feel of a good book: you can smell the authenticity of each page, and feel the creases and textures in the paper. This love of books is the reason that Clunes Booktown Festival is now in its 11th year, and still going strong.

 
Safer Sport

CONTENT WARNING: references to sexual assault. The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) is taking action to work with Melbourne University Sport (MU Sport) to make sure grievance procedures for sexual assault are more visible.

 
Under the Trees

The University’s space management facility provides an interactive online map of all trees on Parkville, Southbank and Werribee campuses. Yes, all trees!

 
The Critical Incident

Indigenous and Torres Strait Islanders are warned that this article mentions deceased persons.

 
Testing 1,2,3

Student representatives are no closer to implementing planned drug harm reduction policies as they face strong resistance from the University.

 
Does the government actually care about mental health?

What the reforms to the health sector and Centrelink system mean.

 
A List of Life Facts That I Learnt

CONTENT WARNINGS: terminal illness, sexual assault mentions of rape.

I did not tell my mother that I would be meeting X (who I met online) and I don’t intend to.

 
Inside the Leftypol Community

CONTENT WARNING: ABLEISM I first heard about leftypol (a ‘portmanteau’ of left & politics) a couple of years ago from a staunchly anarchist housemate.  Since then, although I’d known it was there, I’d never bothered to venture forth into that part of the internet. Part of this hesitancy stemmed from the fact that it is hosted […]

 
The Perks of Being a Fainting Goat

If you’ve ever looked up funny animals on YouTube, chances are you’ve come across ‘fainting goats’. Seemingly, they’re just normal goats – yet when startled, they topple over with their legs outstretched, like plastic toys that have been knocked over. It’s a cuteness overload and the most popular videos on the subject usually involve entire […]

 
When Nixon Went To China

An unpopular president, struggling with corruption allegations and a foreign policy agenda based around the appearance of unpredictability. No, it’s not 2017. It’s 1972. Richard Nixon is President of the United States. He and his National Security Advisor, Henry Kissinger, are about to undertake an initiative that will change the balance of the Cold War. […]

 
Plastic Poop

There’s no denying that the Baby Born dolls were a childhood gem for us ‘90s kids. Maybe you or your sister had one at some point. Or you can remember hearing the jingle during Cheez TV ad breaks. Perhaps you even have memories of seeing a fellow kid at Toyworld screaming for their parent to […]

 
The Maycomb Era

My sister has never really liked to read. Being dyslexic probably doesn’t help the matter, but it often led to her questioning my love of it. “Why are you so obsessed with looking at black things on a page?” she would often ask me. I would casually shrug and nestle my mind further into that […]

 
City of Blue

the clouds and the birds float by.

 
Schubert Dreaming Down the Tacuari

?? ??????? ?? ??????? ??? ??????!

 
For & Against: Vodka Cruisers

FOR BY Ashleigh Barraclough If euphoria were a beverage, it would undoubtedly be the Vodka Cruiser. The luscious, fruity notes of everyone’s favourite drink literally taste like that time in Year 11 when you got absolutely plastered in some guy’s yard while his parents were sleeping inside. So if you’re feeling fed up with the […]

 
Nine Must-Listen-To Podcasts Before Swotvac

About a year ago I became addicted to podcasts. If you ask anyone who knows me, they’ll tell you my addiction is ‘pretty annoying.’ As March was #trypod month, a National Public Radio (NPR) initiative celebrating podcasts, so there is no better time to start listening. To avoid scrolling through 250,000 obscurely named podcasts, here […]

 
Hockney Hacks

Like most exhibitions at the National Gallery of Victoria, it’s quite easy to say “oh yes I’ll go there soon. It’s on for three months anyway,” only to find that you’ve let time slip by and missed out. Either that or you’re still not that bourgeois as to be heading to the gallery on a […]

 
Interview: Des Bishop

When I meet Des Bishop, he’s wrapped head to toe in sports gear, “I walked here,” he tells me. I also know that Des can speak three languages and has been selling out his comedy festival shows after killer reviews. Is there anything this man can’t do? We get talking immediately in the studio, as […]

 
Interview: Tessa Waters

Tessa Waters is arguably Australia’s best physical sketch-comedian. Her sense of humour is novel, and weaves its way through the imagination – manifesting all kinds of hilarity from basically thin air. We race up four flights of stairs into the Radio Fodder studio, as Tessa keeps me laughing the whole way up through her funny […]

 
Review – Alice Tovey: Mansplaining

Young comics, Alice Tovey and her co-star Ned Dixon present a musical comedy performance on the very current and relevant topic of mansplaining. The hour-long performance consists of original songs and compositions ranging from ballads to a beat poem. In these songs, Tovey challenges racism, politics, masculinity and sexism in a satirical manner. The Butterfly […]

 
Review – Shut Your Juicy Mouth

Shut Your Juicy Mouth was an ensemble comedy experience. Held in the intimate space of the Loop Bar, it featured three comedians with 15 minute sets. The night was engaging and warm. All comics bringing their own strange taste of the world to the stage. Phoebe O’Brien, Anthony McCormack and Stephen Porter each shared with us […]

 
University of Melbourne students seek justice for refugees

50 students from the University of Melbourne joined thousands of people at the Palm Sunday Walk for Justice for Refugees rally yesterday afternoon.

 
Review – Rhys Nicholson: I’m Fine

“And then, like some sort of Dickarus who had flown too close to the sun…” He holds the rubber fist sex toy up in the air, triumphant. The lights black out. Thus concludes Rhys Nicholson’s newest show, ‘I’m Fine’ – a hilarious performance in which the audience is made privy to the inner workings of […]

 
Interview: Stuart Goldsmith

Stuart Goldsmith is the Stephen Hawking of the comedy world. His analysis and obsession with the mechanisms that induce laughter, as well as what lurks behind the curtain of the comedy industry is fascinating. We discuss how Stuart found his own comedic voice- having progressed from a street circus performer, into a man who performed […]

 
Interview: David Quirk

He’s a skateboarding, vegan, comedian. David Quirk is an artist who students have admired for many years. Described as having a ‘hyper personal desire towards inner expression’ by a peer in my Philosophy class, David Quirk is in a different paradigm of comedic thought entirely. His ability to manifest visceral crowd reactions, is extraordinary. We […]

 
Anne Aly fails to declare directorship of Co-op Bookshop

Her former directorship of the bookshop could put her in hot water. Students are set to ambush the Annual General Meeting of the bookshop today.

 
Working it out

A National Union of Students (NUS) working group has been established to look into the relationship between the NUS and the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU).

 
A national day of factions

On the effectiveness of a national day of student protests.

 
Vice-chancellor takes action against jaywalking

A recent Victoria Police crackdown on incidences of jaywalking in the outer CBD has prompted action.

 
Stonewall

Data indicating the University’s performance in the first nationwide survey on sexual assault on campus may never be released.

CONTENT WARNING: Mention of sexual assault.

 
Eating Ourselves Into Extinction

It is no secret that we are heading towards an apocalypse that would give even Buffy the Vampire Slayer a run for her money. The 21st century has nine out of the ten warmest recorded years of history. We are well on our way to securing the two degrees Celsius increase in our global temperature. […]

 
Music As Protest

CONTENT WARNINGS: RACISM, VIOLENCE, SLURS/SWEARING Under overcast Sunday skies in Cleveland, police cars and protesters intermingle in a messy foray. Amongst the chaos, a singular chant rings out in a burning ritualistic reverberation: ‘Nigga, we gon’ be alright / We gon’ be alright.’ Rarely has a social movement generated as much controversy in America as […]

 
Planet of the Grapes of Wrath

Oh no! A character from earlier threatening our happy ending!

 
Student protestors demand greater funding to higher education

Hundreds of Melbourne students have gathered on the steps of the State Library of Victoria on 22 March to take part in the National Student Protests against cuts to higher education.

 
Interview: Sam Taunton

Last time he was at UniMelb a sausage was thrown at him from a BBQ adjacent to the stage where he was preforming a stand-up gig on North Court.

 
Review: Ken’s Quest

Cher Chidzey’s novel, Kens Quest, takes the reader on a journey with Ken, a Chinese immigrant who travels to Australia to start a new life. The novel explores the challenges and trials that come with migration through Ken’s struggle to obtain permanent residency due to his status as an ‘illegal’ immigrant. The novel explores the ways people from different cultures […]

 
Helium Boy

He could feel himself rising, and not in the good way.

 
One Corner of a Poster in a BP Roadhouse

Pies in Ponds was the last pie floater stand in South Australia. Em found it drunk and dreaming.

 
Skeleton Crew

Students will be returning to university in 2017 with less academic and career services available following significant staffing restructures.

 
The Arts West Animal

There is an animal with antlers who trots around Arts West. She cannot use the marble stairs (due to her hooves), but she can fit into the elevators fine. She loves the Arts West elevators because they are very shiny. Sometimes she hides in them to watch the Arts students arrive. This is why those […]

 
Student Groans

The Grattan Institute has released a report recommending that all students be charged a universal 15 per cent loan fee when borrowing from the Higher Education Loan Program.

 
Stop Right Now

Students interacting with stop one are in need of a ‘human touch’.

 
Locking out Lockheed Martin

Protesters camp outside Carlton Connect to make a bold statement against the University’s partnership with arms manufacturer, Lockheed Martin.

 
For & Against: The Asteroid That Killed The Dinosaurs

FOR by Jasper MacCuspie The dinosaurs sucked. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a particularly popular thought, but it’s true. They weren’t the cool, scaly lizards of Jurassic Park; no, they were covered in feathers, none of them spat acid, and perhaps for the better, none of them could speak in weird dream sequences. Apparently […]

 
How To Lose A Bird In 10 Days

On a few tiny islands off the coast of New Zealand, there lives a fat, flightless, and rare parrot called the kakapo. The kakapo is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous birds to ever exist, with Benedict Cumberbatch once describing it as “a bird that is as un-bird-like as it is possible for a […]

 
Not Queer Enough

My first female kiss was an alcohol-induced blur, at a backyard party when I was sixteen, on a freedom-high from a recent breakup. Bottle of cheap, pre-mixed alcohol in one hand, I was hit with an astounding moment of clarity: I kind of really liked girls. But the next morning, I was overcome with a […]

 
The Incel Community

A thread titled ‘This is why you can’t get laid’ greets those venturing into the ‘incel’ (involuntarily celibate) community. It details the many shortcomings  individuals may have that make them unattractive to those they wish to bed –  in this case, almost always women. Such include “because you’re rude to people”, “you don’t want her […]

 
Dark Side of the Aisle

There’s a lot to be confused about in today’s world. The government’s doing something wrong, the environment’s doing something science-y, the economy keeps acting up. Despite all the mystification, when we enter a store and are faced by the aisles all uncertainty fades away. No more confusing shades of grey on these shelves, just two […]

 
How To: Friend That Fur Baby

Most of us, at some stage or another, are guilty of being desperate for a pet’s attention. Whether that be your best friend’s fluffy feline or a stranger’s pooch you see whilst strolling down the street, there is a strong satisfaction gained from patting a furry friend and having them reciprocating your affection. As a […]

 
Psyched Out

When I was in primary school, we had to wear a hat during recess and lunch when the weather was hot. Those who did not have one were forced to sit under the shade outside the Art Room. It was a depressing spot, nothing but a rectangular slab of concrete under a veranda. I would […]

 
Who’s Afraid of the Rich and Entitled?

As I got older and left high school, social class began to emerge in my life like a great beast shoving its way through a calm, fairy-tale forest. The more I read and the more I engaged with a larger and more diverse group of people, the more apparent this great invisible force controlled by […]

 
Review: Nocturnal Animals

  In 1750, Jean Jacques Rousseau attempted to diagnose the sickness at the heart of his contemporary French artistic life. To the maverick philosopher, France’s art world “stifled in men’s breasts that sense of original liberty for which they seem to have been born”. The artists of his day, obsessed by status and reputation, had […]

 
Indigenous student silenced at NatCon

An Indigenous Student was prevented from speaking during discussion on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander (ATSI) policy at National Conference (NatCon) this week.

 
NUS-capades: VCESS, Banks and the 2017 UMSU Budget

A motion to increase the University of Melbourne’s Student Union’s (UMSU’s) funding to the National Union of Students (NUS) has failed during today’s glacially paced, three-hour-long Students’ Council meeting.

 
Racist posters discovered on campus

The posters contained racial slurs as well as the image of a swastika. A slogan at the bottom of the posters read, ‘Keep Australia White!’ along with other explicit, anti-diversity sentiments.

 
Emotional Abuse: It Can Happen to Anyone

I bottled it up for a long time but finally decided I wanted to share my experience when more and more friends were sharing similar experiences with me.

 
JOIN THE TEAM

Hello future Farragoblins, It’s time to get rocking and rolling with your applications to us, your 2k17 editors. It’s going to be an absolute firework of a year, with media going off in all directions, sparking and surprising all and sundry. But maybe you’re feeling a bit lost. That’s totally okay, because we’ve got you […]

 
A Kind of Magic: An Interview with ‘We Will Rock You’ Actress Erin Clare

Farrago caught up with actress Erin Clare, who’s currently performing one as the rebel bohemian Scaramouche in the Melbourne season of the rock musical We Will Rock You.

 
Albino Alone

Translucent skin and pointed pink nipples reflected back at her, neon lights flashing ‘I’m not right!’

 
Away with Words

Who loves words as much as Christian Tsoutsouvas does?

 
Students’ Council 6/10/16

This is a liveblog for the UMSU Students’ Council Meeting 16/10/2016. Topics for discussion include changes to UMSU Policy and Regulations and matters surrounding accountability.

 
Love Letters to Phar Lap on his 90th birthday

Amie Green on the national racing icon’s peculiar birthday celebration.

 
Bed Train Desk Train Bed

MONDAY It never quite makes sense. The act of turning up at a desk five days a week, followed by the arrival of money in my bank account seems strangely disconnected. As with birth and death – how wonderful it is to never truly understand the link between the two. I enter the building early. […]

 
Button Mashing My Way Into The Machine

I’m always thinking about the end.

 
Surveying the System

Paloma Herrera reports on universities trying to improve safety on campus.

 
FLASH FICTION: ClichÉ Destroyer: Kill a clichÉ. Kill it with fire

This edition’s flash fiction features the prompt: “ClichÉ Destroyer: Kill a clichÉ. Kill it with fire”.

 
Dead Moths, Wishful Thinking and a Boy I Used to Know

I read somewhere that moths use moonbeams to guide them back to their nests at night.

 
Sweat Stains

A short story by Sarah Peters on the similarities between a person and a sweat shirt.

 
Shanghai Awakening

The jigsaw puzzle of a city shunned me and yet beckoned me.

 
For & Against: Goodbyes

This edition’s for & against is on goodbyes.

 
Something Wicked This Way Comes

Chelsea Cucinotta on a modernised Scottish play.

 
The Deluge

There was once a young man, who knew on the same day both Joy and Sorrow. They came down in waves upon him, and stripped him of warmth, smothering layer upon layer in a python-constricting womb, till his lungs were forced out of all air, and his screams became nothing more than silent bubbles, empty […]

 
The Feminine Critique: Diversity Part 2

Part two of diversity in feminism

 
Ninety-Six

This year marks the 20th anniversary for every single thing that occurred in 1996; the zodiac rats and pigs that were born and the art that was made.

 
Instant Death Syndrome

Three days into September, having just left one of Morten’s coldest recorded winters into a spring that brought what we figured was the warmth of things looking up, my mate Rob carked it halfway between the pier and the local.

 
Four Things You’ve Done After a Year in Inner-North Melbourne

When I first decided to move to inner-north Melbourne, I knew I was setting myself up for a life of brunches, bicycles and burgers.

 
Failing Grade

ANU will be the first Australian university to assess students’ applications with criteria other than solely ATAR results.

 
For & Against: Student Elections

Every year for a few weeks in the middle of Semester Two, the campus becomes a battleground.

 
How Not To Be A Dick This Paralympics

Jack Francis Musgrave on the glory of the Paralympics.

 
Button Mashing: Over and Over and Over

Gabriel Filippa writes about relationships, video games and growing up in a digital world

 
Cool Kids on the Block

Major bling!

 
Counsel in Couplets: Advice Columns

Problem-solving, with poetic rhyming

 
The Revolution Will Be Computerised

Soon, computer science will take over the world. But why?

 
Losing Sense

8 short stories by Cara Chiang.

 
Mind Your Head

Stephanie Choo wraps her head around concussions.

 
In Defence Of The Fangirl

Monique O’Rafferty is proud of her passion.

 
Christmas In July

Brace yourselves, the UMSU Winter Festival was here.

 
Free Speech in Academia

Peter Tzimos argues that freedom of speech encourages the promotion of ideas, the importance of staff and students’ mental wellbeing should ensure these ideas are both safely explored and readily available.

 
Fair Play

A look into MU Sport’s (it exists!) funding model.

 
Black and Blue

Claire Miller claims that Unimelb was robbed of the gold.

 
Green Bulb

A man leans out to spit thick raindrops stick and slide down glass. A man’s legs are spread too close      to your puckered goose skin. A fat raindrop plops behind your lapel, a slippery finger beading on your nape wetting paper skin, it is cold. A man has a too big bag stuffed with […]

 
Bird Leaves

A poem by Rose on birds in the trees.

 
Hopes For Across The Seat

The lady with the mechanical cog tattooed on her back sits with her left leg decisively crossed over her right. I hope she enjoys the sunshine today.

 
When I Ripped My Pants

Like in teen movies when the nerd girl takes off her glasses, I ripped my pants and was ready to disappoint my parents.

 
Arts Vs The World

Eleanor McCooey in support of the worth of Arts degrees.

 
The Future of Film

Leo brutalising innocent fauna may not just be emblematic of my emotional state but of the future of the film and television industries

 
Free Education

Chih-Yu Chou on WTF MOOC stands for

 
Fucking Finally

Chelsea Cucinotta decides whether or not the new arts west justified tearing down a one-year-old building.

 
Lost name

A succinct and beautiful poem by Darby Hudson.

 
A Farewell to Arms

Lucas Grainger explains how he escaped the body building cult.

 
To Pee Or Not To Pee

Scarlette Do on why she’s always rushing to the loo.

 
Under the Knife

It is an unspoken truth that the University relies on animal subjects to advance research in a range of disciplines.

 
Census Material

Listen to Linus read “Census Material”. The sweet smell of burnt rubber and stale coffee fades while body odour breaks over my face. It comes with a puff of red smog, similar to the sun’s naked orange floodlight. I force my shovel into a wedge between the body and the tram, and she unsticks. Mid-40s, […]

 
Ethnic in the City

“Do you think he likes you because you’re Asian?”

 
For & Against: Winter

Winter is here.

 
The Queer Umbrella

Why is it called the ‘Queer’ Department?

 
Counsel In Couplets: You Can’t Have a Bite

Every fight my significant other and I have is because I refuse to share food.

 
Button Mashing With The Fadeaway

The game allowed you to hurt and degrade the players you knew you could never become.

 
Number 114: The Confusaphone

The Confusaphone – if it still exists – is not a weapon.

 
Feel Good, Fatalist Feminism: The Cult of Two Bitches in a Car

Thelma and Louise cuts deeper as a feminist film by acknowledging that the system, and the odds, are stacked against us.

 
YouTube Red

YouTube Red is a change from the free video sharing and streaming site into a paid subscription monster

 
The Melbourne Space Program

Jesse Paris-Jourdan explores the nation’s first steps into the final frontier.

 
John Medley

Getting distracted in John Medley

 
Back to the ’80s: <i>The Culture Club</i> Concert Review

Boy George was just as fabulous as ever.

 
3 out of 5 Nuggets: <i>Fried</i> Review

‘Fried’ is basically just a show about a shitty kid who is pissed at having been friend-zoned by his sexy co-worker.

 
Proofreading at Egg Sake

Proofreading essays while eating Tofu Curry.

 
DISEASES WITHOUT BORDERS

A better approach to global health?

 
Counsel in Couplets: Exams

I’m stuck in a vortex of GOT binges and can’t bring myself to study for what will be my first ever uni exam period

 
’TIL DEATH DO US PART

Clear blue thoughts swim in familiar eyes, some mornings they say ‘I don’t know you anymore’, looking more closely in the mirror, they say ‘Get out of my face!’

 
A (Virtual) Evening with Edward Snowden

This weekend the conversation will reach a new intensity with Snowden’s first ever Australian (virtual) interview.

 
PBS Takes the Plunge

It’s important that people have ready access to an alternative attitude in broadcasting, away from the pulp of commercial media.

 
Study Tricks

Bella Barker explains 5 tricks to get that H1 on your next exam.

 
The Risk of the Asterisk

Mary explains why Wom*n’s should be Women’s.

 
For & Against: Pineapple on Pizza

Pineapple on pizza?

 
My Mother Wrote Poems on Green Toilet Doors

my mother wrote poems on a green toilet door all the secrets buried in the halls of her chest stories hidden in walls and drawers and floors in a place no one looked, her words would pour black ink on green paint, a place to confess my mother wrote poems on a green toilet door […]

 
OB Reports

Read the newest OB reports!

 
No Napping for Napthine

Martin Ditmann, for one, welcomes our new corporate overlord.

 
King of the Jungle

On human superiority in The Jungle Book.

 
Lost

When I photograph my cat, secretly I consider if the button-eyed, belly-up portrait is a perfect LOST/REWARD poster, just thinking ahead… Now too, each photo of a loved one poses the question – is this a MISSING PERSON portrait? An OBITUARY photo? “Face more forward please,” you never know… A selfie – this is the […]

 
Budget promises steady science funding; Chris Pyne carps on about innovation

Funding for science is set to remain steady in the near future.

 
REVIEW: MTC’s Miss Julie

MTC’s Miss Julie is frustratingly predictable, flittering between a sort of Lydia Bennett and a tedious Ophelia.

 
Let’s Go To The Beach

Weeks 1-12 and the only topic studied: the beach.

 
Muggles Playing Quidditch

Muggles playing Quidditch. Passion or appropriation?

 
Invisible Sunflowers

Often as I lay awake, I will raise my left hand above my face and stare. To lose a hand is a hell that is so difficult to simulate. A hand is, foremost, the port of call upon action. A hand is potential. Maybe this is why I stare at the remaining one every night, […]

 
Number 78: Wilkinson’s Passport

What remains of Kenneth Wilkinson’s diary was recovered from the charred remains of his Croydon apartment.

 
A Roll of the (20 Sided) Dice

On why Dungeons and Dragons is so spellbinding.

 
What Makes A Migrant?

Ella Shi on why economic migrants should still be considered refugees.

 
The Golden Myth

Amie Green talks about her goldfish tank in this creative piece.

 
Button Mashing: At 200km/h

When people tell me that Australia lacks an inherent culture – something defining – I tell them to look at car culture.

 
 
Not So Hot Anymore

“Hotties of Melbourne University” goes cold.

 
Students Protest at the National Day of Action

“Bullshit! Come off it! Our education is not for profit!” If you took a tram through the city yesterday afternoon, you might have heard these fighting words, as around 200 people marched down Swanston Street and up Elizabeth Street to protest the government’s proposed changes to the higher education funding system. The National Day of Action, organised by […]

 
FFMU Prepares to Flood the Campus

A 350.org campaign entitled “Flood The Campus” has given the University of Melbourne – and six other major Australian universities – a deadline of 15 April to commit to cease investing in the fossil fuel industry. The campaign, which is working in conjunction with Fossil Free groups at these seven universities, pledges to take “bold action” if […]

 
Review: Paul Foot

The audience begins a descent into the mind of a comic genius. Or a total lunatic. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

 
Review: Tripod

After twenty years, Tripod has lost absolutely zero momentum.

 
Review: Dave Hughes

Dave himself, seems to be surprised he’s on stage and performs as thought this is a dream.

 
Review: Go get Mum

Split roughly between Jacob and Luke performing individually, Go Get Mum was consistently funny and thoroughly enjoyable.

 
Review: Neal Portenza

You might get the chance to lick his chest as the lucky guy sitting in front of me found out.

 
Review: Celia Pacquola

Pacquola takes the audience through an assortment stories, mainly about her life as a 33-year-old, semi-alcoholic cheese eater.

 
Review: Frank Woodley

He really is a modern day silent movie star in the way he can make you laugh without saying a word.

 
Review: Doug Anthony All Stars

The Doug Anthony All Stars are veterans in their field, drawing some of the Comedy Festival’s biggest crowds.

 
Review: Matt Okine

Okine’s comedy is humble and self-critical. It’s a refreshing break from the arrogant observational ramblings of some.

 
Big Ass ‘Daredevil’ Review (Season 2)

As a huge fan of the skull-donning vigilante, I was very excited about the inclusion of the Punisher in this season and can comfortably say my expectations were surpassed.

 
Review: Wil Anderson’s Fire at Wil

Anderson has the audience in illimitable laughter and applause.

 
Review: Sam Simmons’ Not a People Person

He’s the type of guy who works to the beat of his own drum and that’s what makes him so special.

 
Review: Willy Wanka

Will Reinehr, in the title role of Wanka, stood out with a huge stage presence.

 
Review: Aunty Donna

They aren’t the future of Australian comedy. They’re the now. So get around them.

 
Interview: Rhys Nicholson

Essentially my comedy is “penises and how they relate to me”.

 
Review: Golden Plains

Another festival passed, another year dustier. Thank you Aunty Meredith for a supernatural weekend away.

 
Your Fave (Song) is Problematic

I thought I would ruin the fun of four popular songs to really make you think about what your favourite songs are teaching their audiences.

 
Rio & Evie #2

Evie gives Rio a plant to take back to her planet. Will it survive?

 
The Feminine Critique: Cultural (In)appropriation

The line between appropriation and appreciation lies in understanding and acknowledging privilege.

 
FIG TREE

A poem written by Rose Kennedy on fig trees.

 
Number 52: PROJECT ARES

Project ARES is a myth, yet the story’s reputation persists despite a lack of clarity and accuracy. It is time to put paid to the paranoia – the experiment never happened.

 
Big Love

Only a brave few heretics would dare question the essence of monogamous love.

 
Existence Is Futile

It seems to me as though everyone and their dog is having an existential crisis these days.

 
The Magna Charter

Belinda Lack talks sustainability with the university.

 
POINTLESS BRUTALITY

Duncan Caillard talks about the media’s history of violence.

 
THE AI WEIWEI WAY

Ben Meurs looks at the artist as freedom fighter.

 
The Haps With The Fap

Farrago breaks down the proposed flexible academic programming model.

 
The Visit to M. Night Shyamalan

“You know, it surprises me every time I sit down to write that there’s some kind of conversation about faith that’s going on in reusing the subjects of aliens and comic books or whatever”.

 
WANNSEE: MANAGING THE PAST

Exploring a place of beauty and darkness.

 
HEATHERS: A CULT CLASSIC WITH CULTISH UNDERTONES

This black romantic comedy is anything but black-and-white in its characterisation

 
FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT (TO STUDY)

Rather than just being on the defensive, he says, students are now able to push for improvements to higher education funding.

 
Review: How to Set a Fire and Why

Much of How to Set A Fire and Why has to do with Lucia’s initiation into a group of arsonists.

 
The Future of Books

The future of books is a strange and scary place that most Arts students prefer not to think about.

 
An Hour in the Life: 8AM

The 8AM love-affair of Patrick Hoang.

 
ATAR: Just a Number

Does your ATAR mean less than our Universities tell us?

 
Comeback King

Justin Bieber, he is inescapable, omnipotent to the point that I am constantly trying to find ways to dodge the vaguely symbolic and Illuminati­ inspired album cover

 
Donnie Darko and the Appeal of Genre Transcendence

Donnie Darko, and the appeal of genre transcendence (and teen angst).

 
Funding the Party Line

The 2016 UMSU Students’ Council has met for the first time, discussing issues including the allocation of student funds and cuts to student department budgets.

 
It’s a World Wide Web Out There

There’s a piffling argument about when to celebrate the birthday of the World Wide Web.

 
The Worst Part About Being a Stormtrooper

The worst part about being a Stormtrooper is needing to pee. Going toe-­to­-toe with Luke­fucking­Skywalker would probably be easier.

 
Uniform of Chains

I would weave my fingers through the dirty forest of hair on the creature’s heavy head and I would apologise, over and over again.

 
Where Would We Bee?

Imagine the world 135 million years ago. Imagine a time when dinosaurs roamed the earth and the planet did not look anything like it does today.

 
Chainlink Ceiling

Funding barriers at The University of Melbourne are preventing refugees and asylum seekers from pursuing an education. A recent report by the Refugee Council of Australia has found asylum seekers and refugees are blocked out of the education system due to funding restrictions. It paints a damning picture of tertiary institutions’ funding allocations. This is particularly […]

 
Always Check the Label

Words are important. They can even be lifesaving. So please, stop trying to take them away.

 
Aisle of Conciousness

Intermittent tales from a ‘Check-out chick”

 
BEACH HOUSE W/ SMOKE BELLOW @ 170 RUSSELL FEBRUARY 11

My boss once told me to turn the music off at work when Beach House’s Depression Cherry was playing because it reminded him too much of a funeral.

 
Student Reps Return to Uni Councils

The governing body of the University of Melbourne will see a shift in structure following legislative changes introduced by the Andrews Government. The amendment to the Education and Training Reform Act 2006 will see elected student representatives once again granted voting rights on university councils. The university council is responsible for the appointment of the vice-chancellor and […]

 
Peak Pyke

You were a shadow held aloft, / In a world less vast / But for all these shrinking hearts.

 
Agony Agatha

“I have to move out of home and find a share house – what are your tips for finding a flatmate?”

 
Back To School: Music Previews with Jack Kilbride

Tchaikovsky’s romantic tales will soothe you like the waters of a hot spring. The Grates will throw you head first into the icy waves of the ocean.

 
Neighbourhood Watch / Halls Gap

It very much feels as if nature is king in the Grampians, and the structures built in its shadow seem slapdash.

 
Coffee Sucks

Coffee is largely a social affair; as such, it’s important to find (non-alcoholic) alternatives for those who aren’t impressed with espresso.

 
Housing Our Future

Recent housing reports and concerns for the wage gap raise serious questions for the future of young Australians. It’s no secret that housing is an expensive enterprise, but this basic necessity is becoming a near impossible end for millions in the work force. If Australia continues to allow the wage gap to increase, and the […]

 
Tools

“Look, it’s just a really blokey environment. Some people just can’t hack it.” I was in a meeting with my manager (a woman) and the store manager, after making a complaint about a 23 year-old new male work colleague. I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure if safe workplace environments accommodate someone who: […]

 
Cyclord / Don’t be a Dickhead (Part 1)

It can be heaps of fun being a cyclist, but at times it’s less than great. Sometimes this is really nobody’s fault, like when it’s raining (thanks, God!) or when your destination is at the top of a steep hill. But sometimes your bad experience is due to the reckless or downright dickhead-ish behaviour of […]

 
Playing the Field / ‘Brandzac Day’ Short History of Football on April 25

If you can cast your mind back to what must be a while ago now, you might recall the eruption of something between a minor furore and a full-blown national panic when Woolworths ran a campaign, which some have noted may have been misguided, to commemorate the centenary of Anzac day and make a little […]

 
Tracking the Trackers

It was a cold and drizzly Melbourne evening, the sort that seems to sag under the weight of its own dampness. I stood watching the glum faces of overworked Melbournians as they trudged home from jobs they hated, to families they’d lost any enthusiasm towards. This spot, one tram stop past the free tram zone, […]

 
Drawn to Science / The Spiny Leaf Insect

The ‘Fearsome’ Spiny Leaf Insect When PhD student Yasaman Alavi first saw a spiny leaf insect, it was not exactly love at first sight. “To be honest, I was a bit sceptical of working with them,” she says. “I had never seen insects that big.” Spiny leaf insects (Extatosoma tiaratum) are large and a little […]

 
A Name to a Statistic

Trigger warning: graphic depictions of sexual assault “Welcome to Melbourne, where the local time is 11:40pm. Please remain in your seat with your seatbelt fastened until we have come to a complete stop. We hope that you have an enjoyable trip here in Melbourne and if you’re fortunate enough to live in this beautiful city, […]

 
Over the Corporate Rainbow

As the glitter finally begins to wash out of our hair and the rainbow flags around the country are taken down, we are reminded that Mardi Gras has come and gone for yet another year. The annual event, which includes an arts festival, Fair Day, themed parties and of course the big Parade, celebrated its […]

 
Cyclord / Is Cycling for Me?

There’s something about that word -‘cyclist’. It’s almost as if it’s a way of life, an identity, rather than a means of getting around, a sport or a way to unwind on the weekend. To some extent it is, or can be. But maybe it’s just the way things are here. In many European cities, […]

 
Postmen’s Trail

On a quiet suburban street dotted by too few trees, a pair of postmen ride along on electric bikes. The street is wide enough to allow two cars to pass with ease, so in riding side by side these two aren’t risking any trouble from the traffic. “I’ve got mostly letters today, but some interesting […]

 
An open letter to Four Corners

A while back, you aired a program presenting all the ways international students are ostensibly lowering the standards of Australian universities.

 
The Horror

The first horror film ever made, if you use the term ‘horror film’ loosely and decide to not give a fuck about context, authorial intention or even common sense, was about a train. Specifically, it’s about a train arriving at a station in 1896; it’s not some Metlink slasher flick, but in fact a silent […]

 
Neighbourhood Watch / Bendigo

Like most of my relationships, the dynamic between Bendigo and I can best be described as odd, vacillating and a little bit scandalous. In the period spanning late ’08 to early ‘10, I harboured an acerbic hatred for the place that likes to brand itself a ‘city’ when it can in fact be more accurately […]

 
The Book: Saga

While Saga is a serious story, it never seems to take itself seriously, and its characters are never overburdened with the humourless gravitas that fills the pages of so many high fantasy books.

 
Melanie Basta and the Book of Azkaban

“Then, in a higgledy piggledy fashion, with interruptings, rememberings, dead accurate sound effects, impersonations and slight exaggeration we told our extraordinary story to the disbelieving parents.” I first read 45 + 47 Stella Street and Everything that Happened when I was eleven and it is still to this day one of the most distinctive portrayals of […]

 
Artist Profile – Felix Ching Ching Ho

Felix is an independent theatre-maker and performer from Hong Kong. Now an Australian citizen, Felix is perfecting her craft by undertaking the Masters of Directing for Performance program at the Victorian College of the Arts. She has been director, assistant director, and a performer for the Arts Centre Melbourne, Melbourne Fringe, Melbourne Theatre Company (MTC) […]

 
The Tropical Liver-Fucker

My first encounter with the cocktail known as the zombie, or the skull-puncher as it’s sometimes called, was at an empty Tiki bar on a Tuesday night. A friend and I were trying to find a place to get a quiet beer and instead had stumbled upon an opportunity to get roaring drunk, en route […]

 
Best by Test

I never saw the waterfall that the path through the trees at the end of the street where I grew up led to. From the day I was born, I knew nature was worthless. I did not enjoy poetry, either. It seemed to me that my twin deficiencies – the inability to derive pleasure from […]

 
Trigger

I’d concealed the brogue prior to it. Let me speak for a few minutes; I won’t be long and I need to tell this. Every bloke in my bar as a rule tries – demonstratively – to act tough, though of course they never have to go through with anything. There is equilibrium to my […]

 
UHT’s New Artistic Director

Petra Kalive may be new, but she already has an eye on the future. Coming into the role of Artistic Director of Union House Theatre at the beginning of a particularly turbulent time for the student union theatre, Kalive has a lot on her plate. The relocation of Union House is on everyone’s minds, and […]

 
Dead White Men: The Problem with Student Theatre

The UMSU theatre department’s approach to programming theatre is great. Union House Theatre works tirelessly to realise works entirely initiated by students. It is one of the only organisations in student theatre nationwide to do this. We are really, really lucky. But this semester, one of the biggest pitfalls of this system has become evident. […]

 
Academology: International Students

Many international students who study in postgraduate courses are struggling with their studies in the first month of semester, asserting it is largely a result of unexpected language difficulties. Several of these students come from Asian countries. Students such as Hannah Huang, who studies engineering, feel anxious about final academic results. “Although there are still […]

 
Mathamphetamines

How do you prepare to study? Do you collate notes? Order a coffee? Temporarily deactivate Facebook? Get your highlighters in order? Or do you pop a pill to get you focused?

 
Living Life with Lady Liberty

Fun things to do for free in Melbourne!

 
The Art of Parma: Your Guide to Unimelb’s Best Parma

Just like life’s too short to read a bad book, it’s even shorter to eat a bad parma.

 
George Paton Gallery: A View

In 2015, the George Paton Gallery is brimming with exhibitions and events showcasing a wide variety of talented students across facilities and campuses. This semester the gallery is pulling back on its inter-departmental exhibitions program to focus on student exhibitions. VCA Proud Prize winner Spencer Lai will be exhibiting after Easter with his piece Youth, […]

 
University Fees Battle: Unions

Education unions are urging education minister Christopher Pyne to reconsider further pursuing university fee deregulation, with some calling him to “get off his ideological high-horse”. On March 17, the Senate rejected proposed higher education changes, including the deregulation of university fees, for the second time in three months. However, Mr Pyne has vowed on multiple […]

 
Uni to Remove More Smoking Areas

The University of Melbourne removed two designated smoking areas in its Parkville campus, showing a tougher move to be a tobacco-free university. Professor Richard James, the Pro Vice-Chancellor of Equity and Student Engagement, said the removal of the two designated smoking areas was a deliberate effort to restrict smoking on campus. “We’ll gradually remove more […]

 
Tur(n)ing on the Computer

On the life and legacy of Alan Turing.

 
Artist Profile – Jaccob Mckay

Jaccob McKay is a multidisciplinary artist who works in sculpture, installation, photography and sound art. He is currently completing his Bachelor of Fine Arts in Contemporary Music at the Victorian College of the Arts. His work deals primarily in themes around nature with a particular view to abstracting the beauty he finds occurring naturally in […]

 
Chronic Frustration

I’m tired.  Tired of explaining to friends that their desire to take a nap is not equivalent to debilitating fatigue.  Tired of endless blood tests and waiting lists.  Tired of jaded university doctors dismissing multiple referrals. Tired of being told that my symptoms are all in my head.  Exhausted.  Shattered.  Spent. Yet, the most frustrating […]

 
Two Seasons

evening lookout sun’s replication of me gone but to return *  *  * bouncing from one flower to another hungry bee *  *  * cricket chirps dominate summer’s orchestra eyes wide night *  *  * afternoon light a stream of golden flakes by the cemetery

 
Intern-alised

Knowing that my academic record leaves something to be desired, I submitted my internship application for Aurora’s Internship Program minutes before the deadline. I had no more optimism than captured in that motto: you’ve gotta be in it to win it. But I’m proud to say I’m one of the 37 successful interns from 102 […]

 
Grand (Rehearsal) Designs Australia

It’s the start of semester, which means the beginning of the student theatre season, and the beginning of rehearsals! There are an exciting few months ahead for Union House Theatre, with double digit shows playing, and MUDfest, Australia’s largest student arts festival in planning for August. If you’re feeling keen to get involved in (pretty […]

 
MCM Synthesises Dr Who Instrument

In a move that will delight Doctor Who fans, the restoration of a rare Electronic Music Studios (EMS) 100 Modular Analogue Synthesiser has just been completed at the Melbourne Conservatorium of Music (MCM). It’s an exact replica of the synthesiser used to create sound effects for the original BBC series! The Synthi 100 was shipped […]

 
Beyond the Binary

Trigger warning: discussions of transphobia and queerphobia Despite the chill, the annual Pride March in St Kilda this February drew a large and vibrant crowd. It was heart-warming to see the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and intersex (LGBTQI) community marching together with its allies without fear of harassment or judgment. There was an overwhelming […]

 
Academology: What is HECS?

By the time Farrago goes to print, the Federal Government will have put its proposed higher education bill to the Senate (again). There’s a student National Day of Action on 25th March set to protest the Federal Government’s philosophy on higher education. We got Ryan Cushen to take a look just before the storm hit. […]

 
Uni Teams Up With Its Demons

The University of Melbourne has signed a memorandum of understanding with the Melbourne Football Club (MFC) that affirms the institutions’ intention to collaborate on research and community engagement projects. University Vice-Chancellor Glyn Davis and MFC CEO Peter Jackson formalised the partnership in late January, noting a shared investment in the future of the City of […]

 
New Pt Nepean Campus, VCA Gallery

The University of Melbourne is set to spend a total of $28 million into two planned off-campus developments, beginning this year. The first will be a $26 million contemporary art gallery at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA), funded by property developer Michael Buxton to house his personal collection. The second will be a […]

 
Mark, Who is an Artist

My dirty sheets seemed to be the main thing that bothered Maria. I remember her telling me that she didn’t like coming here because I never changed the sheets. “Everything smells like sweat, weed and pizza,” she said. “Don’t you ever clean?” She swiped a finger across the body of my Telecaster, and inspected the […]

 
The Needle and the Damage Done

Do you remember when you were a child and climate change was still referred to as ‘global warming’? The term climate change became more widely used while ‘global warming’ was adopted by climate change deniers in order to argue their scientifically inaccurate points. They couldn’t wrap their heads around a concept called global ‘warming’ that […]

 
Scene Change

The stage is set for a crucial year in Union House Theatre. Twenty fifteen may be one of the most turbulent years in recent memory for the University of Melbourne’s extracurricular theatre program. The institution faces the new year with Petra Kalive replacing Tom Gutteridge as Artistic Director, new Arts Officers Bonnie Leigh-Dodds and Isabella […]

 
Triple Jaded

The Hottest 100, Triple J’s annual Australia Day countdown of the most popular songs from the previous year, has passed once more. And, once again, it has provoked heated discussion on the relevance and ‘mainstream-ness’ of Triple J. This year’s countdown has arguably been more controversial than usual, due to the ‘grassroots’ campaign to push […]

 
Staff ‘Bipped’ As Changes Sweep Uni

At the end of 2013, the University of Melbourne decided to implement a Business Improvement Plan (BIP), in order to strengthen their position amongst international universities. The plan was to reduce 540 fixed term contract and casual staff by 1 January 2016, without affecting the academic quality of the university. The intent was to save […]

 
Big Shift in Student Clubs

The Clubs and Societies (C&S) Committee has proposed several significant changes to clubs this year, including the launch of a Clubs Collective on Tuesday 17 March and the launch of Clubs Online in Semester Two. “The Clubs Collective is an informal meeting where students can meet with [C&S] to discuss issues in clubs, and for […]

 
Diversifying Your Alphabet: DSG vs. LGBTIQ+

It’s only a matter of time before one of my sweethearts gifts me a label maker. It will be a joke, but also not. I really love labels. The sense of security they give, that concrete feeling that you know a thing. The blunt definition thrills me like a seamless translation of a complex text […]

 
Pop Cultural Studies

Last year, Rutgers University in the US inaugurated a new course of study called ‘Politicising Beyoncé’. The Internet experienced a minor haemorrhage as a result. The announcement presaged a surfeit of online articles exposing other similarly left-of-field studies offered by American colleges – from Princeton’s ‘Getting Dressed’ seminar (in which you chart the major trials […]

 
Smoketrails

The designated smoking areas on campus are a familiar sight to smokers and non-smokers alike, introduced last year as part of the university’s transition to being smoke free. While it’s easy to see them as utilitarian, uniform alcoves for sneaking a durry on the way to a lecture, there’s more to these smoky little spots […]

 
(Pod)Cast Off Your Chains: My Month Without TV

Podcasts. They’ve always seemed to occupy a beguiling space in the vast, vast realm of downloadable content. Are they for the scores of old people who, otherwise preoccupied with getting a hip replacement, missed their favourite Radio National show? Are they a safe middle ground for the opinionated amongst us who are too restless to […]

 
Voluntourism

As an alternative to working or boozing their breaks away, school leavers and university students are increasingly choosing to volunteer their time in developing countries to assist community development. Labeled as ‘volunteer tourism’ (voluntourism for short), commercial operators offer young people placements in countries such as Ethiopia, Cambodia and Argentina, in an industry worth an […]

 
Playing the Field – Australian Open

Once upon a time, the world’s best tennis players were more often than not inclined to skip the Australian Open. Rather than brave the eight week boat trip required to overcome our geographic isolation, it seemed like a better idea to stay put and focus on preparing for the more substantive tournaments in Europe and […]

 
Pipe Dreams

Trigger warning: illicit drugs. If you ever find yourself travelling down the Western Highway, north-west of Melbourne, you’ll eventually pass through Horsham, a sleepy wheat and sheep-grazing town situated on the banks of the Wimmera River. Only now fully recovering from years of relentless drought in the nineties, Horsham and other rural Victorian centres are […]

 
How I Bruised My Lady Parts

No one ever tells you about the weird stuff before you start working with kids. No one tells you about the multiple bodily fluids (not yours) that will be shared either consciously (the dogs) or unconsciously (the kids). No one tells you about the bruises with no discernable origin that will surface on your skin […]

 
for and against / Beyoncé

Queen Bey. Yay or nay? You decide. Laura Foo and Harvey Duckett battle it off.

 
rhubarb

Ellen Cregan shares her poetry piece on rhubarb.

 
playing the field / AFL Grand Final

Dexter Gillman discusses Melbourne’s love affair for the AFL.

 
trigger warning

Ava K discusses the complex issue of trigger warnings. She has collected a few of the arguments against trigger warnings and explains why they are absolute tripe.

 
Tree-ting Maladies

Did you know that there are some plants that can treat a range of symptoms from your self-induced hangover to your university-induced headache. Rachael O’Reilly elaborates on some of these over-achieving plants.

 
agony agatha

Agony Agatha is back…but this time, she responds to a regular column writer from Farrago!

 
Best Bargain Boogies – music previews with jack kilbride

Jack Kilbride is back with another music review. This time on Drunk Mums and Woodlock.

 
IN THE MOOD FOR MOVIES

Candy Zoccoli gives us her verdict on which films are must-sees.

 
melanie basta and the deathly books

Melanie Basta reviews the popular text; The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.

 
Taipan Tiger Girls

Charlie Lempriere reviews the music group Taipan Tiger Girls.

 
Gender and Cycling

In many places around the world, Australia included, the majority of people on bikes are male. Is this a problem? Alexander Sheko believes so.

 
Getting it right?

Meg Sheehan shares her thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner’s docu-series.

 
so your fave is problematic

What do you do when a singer, actor, or sports person that you like – let’s say fave from here on in – says or does something ‘problematic’? Jennifer Balcomb shares her thoughts on whether to back down or defend your love.

 
Earth’s Lungs

Rainforests have substantial control over Earth’s climate, giving us 60% of all fresh water and 20% of the oxygen we breathe every day. Yet nearly one fifth of the largest rainforest; the Amazon, has been deforested. The Amazon is often described as the lungs of Earth. And, like a chain smoker, we are slowly destroying it.

 
your brain and video games

Ruth de Jager discusses the cognitive benefits of video games.

 
agony agatha

Why does Agatha love reading about murder? Find out why…

 
Nostalgic November – music previews with jack kilbride

Jack reviews Fleetwood Mac and The Darkness.

 
gold nuggets

Gareth Cox-Martin provides insight into the fast food nugget war. Who will win?

 
Angie McMahon – artist profile by Eliza Lennon

Eliza Lennon talks to Angie McMahon about her music journey.

 
mythbusting: AGri10039

Australia in the Wine World, is the infamous breadth that everyone during their time at Melbourne Uni thinks about doing. With so many misconceptions about the subject, it’s time to clarify these myths.

 
lerb sperl

Corey McCabe discusses the Liberal party’s spill and their new leader Malcolm Turnbull.

 
mudfest, not a dudfest

Declan Mulcahy talks to Farrago about his positive experience directing a show at the arts festival; Mudfest.

 
For & Against: The University of Melbourne

University of Melbourne or University of Smellbourne? FOR Words by Jenny van Veldhuisen Ah, Melbourne Uni, the innumerable things I could write about you. The usual clichés are to be expected in my argument: your consistently high world university rankings; your prestige and history that saturates the beautiful old-timey buildings; your notable alumni; and your […]

 
Election caused bans on Holocaust mentions

This year’s UMSU student elections included a ban on mentions of the Holocaust, as well as another ban on grounds of assault. There also accusations on the grounds of Holocaust denial between members of Fresh and Left Action. Returning Officer for the election Jaimie Adam prohibited anyone from mentioning it for the remainder of the […]

 
Shorten and Carr Launch Campaign In North Court

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten and the Shadow Minister for Education Kim Carr today visited the University of Melbourne to speak briefly to a small crowd of students and press at North Court. They continued their fight against Tony Abbott’s unpopular budget with a rousing speech clearly aimed to incite the student body to fight against […]

 
Uses for Unionism

The University of Melbourne Union was set up in 1884, recognising a need to promote the interests of students on campus and to promote social activities between members. The fact that we are still standing almost 130 years later (albeit having undergone several reincarnations) perhaps indicates that they were onto something in the 1880s. Student […]

 
Come and Look

When David told me about this dream I didn’t know him, and I can’t really say that I know him now. He was a friend of my then-girlfriend Lucy, who took me and a few carloads of others camping in Central Australia last November, when a bad year was finally reaching its end. One afternoon, […]

 
Laura

Our apartment was always littered with glasses and mugs. They never confined themselves to a single room, they followed our scattered paths—all excitement and groans—as we got ready each night. Evidence of how we led our lives, and the liquids that fuelled them. We pulled at our wardrobes until clothes fell onto our bodies. We’d […]

 
The Gossling Goss

Gossling isn’t a name that would be foreign to anyone with half a thought for the Australian independent music scene. With a trio of EPs to her name, plentiful festival appearances, and a debut record about to be released, Helen Croome has got it all going her way. Farrago: Let’s talk about the record for […]

 
The University of Melbourne

In a decade or two’s time, when my son asks me how I became a C-grade comedian, part-time tutor, and freelance writer, I will proudly tell him I attended the University of Melbourne. I’ll get so excited by his question that I’ll arrange a Sunday afternoon father-son trip to Parkville. We’ll gaze up at the […]

 
Back on Course

I had never seen so many machines in the one place at one time. They were all connected to me. A sea of coloured scrubs surrounded me and everybody was smiling. They said I had been in a car accident and it was Thursday. My family were outside. You want to know the first thing […]

 
What the Fridge?

If you’ve ever taken a gander inside a sharehouse refrigerator then you too have felt the nausea, lightheadedness and fear that grips you like a vice and shakes you to your core. Your nostrils burn, your eyes water, your gag reflex activates. You think, ‘it smells like something died in here’. And you’re right—something did […]

 
Playing it Safe

American figure skater Johnny Weir is worried about competing at the Sochi Winter Olympics. “Just walking down the street, going to get Starbucks in the morning […] somebody could arrest me jsut because I look too gay,” he told CBS News. Does it seem too absurd to contemplate? Alarmingly, this snippet of Russian legislation means […]

 
Map-Happy

Maps are cool. Ok, maybe only in a nerdish kind of way way—but that’s cool enough, right?. Today, anyone can create their own own, thanks to the fact that a lot of research data is now posted online. The rise of huge (and slightly creepy) data-gathering satellites—along with the increased interactive abilities of the Internet—have […]

 
SSAF No More?

The future of the Student Services and Amenities Fee is now up for discussion as Tony Abbott’s Prime Ministership kicks into gear. While ‘PM Abbott’ might take a while to roll off the tongue, his consistent opposition to the SSAF and models of compulsory student unionism have many asking exactly how much longer the fee […]

 
Anthropoloco

Homo sapiens: they wash your car, repair your iPods and designed your Myki. Heck, if you’re reading this, I’m supposing that you’re not a rare, literate goanna—you’re probably a homo sapiens too! Is it not a remarkable thing to be a member of a truly puzzling and, in many ways, unique species within Earth’s biosphere? […]

 
Psyched Up: Flying Solo

Brian King of Japandroids is hunched over the mic. His entire body heaves. “When they love you and they will/ (And they will!)/ I’ll tell ‘em all they’ll love in my shadow/ And if they try to slow you down/ (slow you down)/ Tell them all to go to hell.” Lying atop outstretched hands are […]

 
Glyn Davis chats to Farrago

In April, the Federal Government announced plans to cut $2.8 billion from tertiary funding in order to help pay for the Gonski school reforms. In an interview with Farrago, the University of Melbourne’s Vice-Chancellor Professor Glyn Davis was asked whether the link between university and school funding is more logical or political. “I think it’s […]

 
NTEU Consider Action

University staff could strike or protest on campus this year after voting for industrial action on working conditions. The National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) and the University have been negotiating a new collective agreement, which would cover staff from professors and tutors to security guards. NTEU campaigner and archivist at the Baillieu Library Katie Wood […]

 
Students Strike Against Cuts

Students from universities around Melbourne gathered at the State Library on May 14 to protest against the federal government’s proposed $2.3 billion cuts to tertiary education funding. The protests call for a cancellation of the cuts proposed to facilitate the Gonski reforms earlier this year. They also demand free education and a different allocation of […]

 
SES: How Was It For You?

The University of Melbourne will begin releasing the results of the Subject Experience Surveys (SES) to students this semester. While the survey questions have not changed, this decision demonstrates a step by the university towards more interactive student feedback on the standard of education they are receiving. The SES results are to be released via […]

 
September is Coming

This is an election year. A desperate time for everyone in this vast and empty country, but especially for those men and women in cheap polyester suits and $10 haircuts whom we call politicians. Soon, the more reflective among the nation will plunge into a miasma of despair, out of which, there is no clear […]

 
Where’s Our Education Revolution?

Michelle See-Tho reports on the two steps forward, one step back education policy that’s costing us millions.  Funding for universities will take a massive blow this year, despite demand from multiple bodies for increased funds. The federal government announced that it would cut more than $2 billion worth of funding for the higher education sector […]

 
At The Falls

I fell for a friend at the falls. The time knew, did not intend didn’t mean a thing at all. A matter of blood—physical. Below the stream disorient and fell on rocks at the falls. In water resounding stories saw Her ‘selfish lover’ in the air doubt it didn’t mean a thing at all. Grazed […]

 
Eight Memories

YOU MUST TAKE THE URINE–STAINED STRETCH of sidewalk leading to the nearest station. You count the time you have to hold your breath by the cracks in the pavement, but get distracted by the sight of something dead and undignified by the fence—something with fur and feathers mashed into a slab of brain and guts. […]

 
Quick Classics: The Canterbury Tales (Geoffrey Chaucer)

In Sum A group of pilgrims, of backgrounds high and low, hold a story-telling competition. The trip to Canterbury is passed in sledging, blaspheming, and storifying: pilgrimy piety is largely (mercifully) absent. Why The World Thinks You Should Read It The first modern (-ish) English work to canvass the great and glorious grottiness of man, […]

 
Really Really Cheap Eats

Last month, The Age released their annual The Age Good Food Under $30 (formerly known as the Cheap Eats Guide). To be included in this so-called tight arse guide for foodies, one must be able to get a decent meal for under $30 (not including drinks). For most university students, $30 is nowhere near cheap. Therefore, for the true cheapskates, […]

 
Made of Microbes

A famous guy once noted that there are more micro-organisms living on or in the human body than there are cells. This fact might make your skin crawl. Actually, the skin crawling could just be the mites living in your pores… The fact is most microbes that inhabit your body won’t cause you any harm […]

 
Alive and Hopping

When Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park way back in 1990, the idea that extinct animals could be brought back through cloning technology wasn’t pure fantasy, though it was certainly at the fringes of what was conceivable at the time. But time passes, and science marches ever on. On March 15th, the National Geographic Society and […]

 
Gentrified Graffiti

It’s almost midnight and I’m in Hosier Lane. My slick new friend Jones asks me to ‘spot’ him. He is wearing brand new Nikes and has a pair of Oakley sunglasses balanced on his head. From nowhere he produces an enormous silver roller-marker, does a lay-up off some broken milk crates, and in one movement […]

 
Oh Snap

The National Union of Students (NUS) held snap rallies on 17 April to protest $2.3 billion worth of cuts made by the Gillard Government to fund the Gonski education reforms for primary and secondary schools. The cuts include wipeouts of payment discounts for upfront HECS–HELP repayments, conversion of Student Start Up Scholarships to HECS style loans […]

 
Advisory Groups Advise

A re-structure of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) and the Melbourne University Student Union Ltd (MUSUL) passed by Students’ Council on 17 December 2012 will see the introduction of four Advisory Groups (AGs) to UMSU operations. The changes mean that control of student services previously the responsibility of MUSUL, including Union House Theatre […]

 
Average Students Don’t Want Celebration

The passing of a motion by Students’ Council that “celebrates [Margaret Thatcher’s] death unreservedly” was disrespectful to Margaret Thatcher, her family, and her friends in their time of grieving. One should deal with political differences by attacking the ideas, not the person. At the very least, Thatcher’s critics should be respectful enough to let her […]

 
Free Speech in Action

The past week has seen a vitriolic attack, led by the campus Liberal Club, against the Student Union and its right to free speech. I’m a Left Action Councillor involved in moving the anti-Thatcher motion that sparked this attack, and would like to make two brief points. Firstly, the anti-Thatcher motion is consistent with the […]

 
UMSU Low and Vile

Recently UMSU engaged in a low, vile and repugnant act. It celebrated the death of an eighty-seven year old woman. In doing this UMSU forgot the foundation of morality; the basic undeniable dignity inherent in every person. A self-worth that belongs to a person no matter what they do, who thy are or their political […]

 
Thatcher Fires Up UMSU

Student activism has been awakened at Parkville after a period of slumber, over a controversial motion passed at Students’ Council that ‘celebrated unreservedly’ the death of Margaret Thatcher. Left Action Students’ Councillor Patrick Alves brought the motion. It included the condemnation of Thatcher’s support for right-wing dictators like Pinochet and Suharto, her violent crushing of […]

 
Hiding Away

Even the most casual reader will tell you, the publishing landscape has changed. The last decade has shaken the industry with an increase in technologisation and a further decrease in people actually willing to pick up a book. Marketing techniques as dispiriting as ‘buy one book, get one free e-book’ have followed in an effort […]

 
History’s Greatest Chumps: Oreste Baratieri

Sometimes a military man can sneak his way up through the ranks without anyone realising that he is actually a dangerously incompetent chump. Some such men will scrape through without getting thousands of their own men killed. Baratieri, however, was not one of them. How does a man go from Italy’s most celebrated commander to […]

 
Some Bars I Used to Know: Edition 2

I’m over the gay bar. I think it started when I came back from California. While studying abroad, I took a class on the history of the gay bar. However, I also spent this time exhausting the West Hollywood club scene. By the time I came back to Melbourne, it was understandably time for a […]

 
A Few Dirty Jokes

I caught up with a fellow student the other day for coffee. I asked her how her part time job was going. Nonchalant, she replied that she was unemployed, and that it was nice to have more time on her hands since leaving her job as a waitress in a small, but well-known restaurant. When […]

 
(untitled)

The geriatric dude’s overtaking me. Again. I take a look behind because I’m sure someone’s laughing at me. It’s raining and I’m jogging around Princes Park. I wanna throw up in my coach’s face. Rest assured, this is all part of my genius plan to kick social anxiety’s ass—by putting myself in situations that interest […]

 
Tentative Exchanges

The Student Exchange Program is an opportunity for hundreds of students to visit the University of Melbourne for one semester. The aim is for foreign students to experience cultural life in Melbourne while contributing to their academic education, but in many cases the academic side is of secondary importance. Grades usually don’t count towards their […]

 
2013 Edition 2 Editorial

We’ve never worked well within a theme. Bustling within these pages is the collective psyche of the student body–excitable, scruffy, and untamable. Literally defined as a ‘confused mixture’, even the dictionary thinks Farrago is a bit of a mess. But as your words started rolling in to fill these motley pages, collections of ideas seemed to […]

 
Mission Impozible

First of all you have to get a hold of some music, so you fork out $20 for a CD, record, iTunes download or whatever other obscure format a band is putting their work on. Then it turns out that they have a massive back catalogue you weren’t aware of. So now it’s your responsibility, […]

 
Political Report Card

Christine Todd grades our political parties. LABOR POLICIES > Introduced Clean Energy Bill with the support of Greens and several independents, carbon-pricing scheme implemented. > Implemented plain cigarette packaging laws, fought off a constitutional challenge from the Big Tobacco companies. > Maintained the health of the economy during the GFC. > Introduced Minerals Resources Rent […]

 
Auteur 101: Michael Haneke

James Zarucky explains the careers of filmy people. In a career spanning more than three decades, Austrian director Michael Haneke has established himself as one of the most important contemporary European auteurs. His films are notable for their unrelentingly austere style and disturbing subject matter. The director himself has stated that he wishes to challenge […]

 
Sidney Myer Music Bowl

Kevin Hawkins explores new ways to keep yourself entertained in a city you thought you’d exhausted. The Sidney Myer Music Bowl is like a red flag to a bull to a cheapskate like me. The amphitheatre with its wire fences and unobstructed sound just begs for me to find a way to beat the system. […]

 
My Goreng

Nothing gives students more joy than Mi Goreng. However, eating it plain every day can get pretty old, so here are five ways to make noodles and MSG more interesting. 1. Substitute the hydrogenated vegetable oil for dashes of sesame oil to give the noodles a pleasant, nutty flavour. Simple, yet effective. 2. Go all […]

 
Digging Deep

Merran Reed investigates the pains and gains of young people heading down the mines. A couple of years ago I worked as a flight attendant flying miners to the various mine sites around Western Australia. Places with names like Coyote, Nifty, Area C or (my favourite) Cloudbreak. The other girls and I had a game […]

 
Cycling and the City

Alexander Sheko investigates bike safety in the CBD. There is no doubt cyclists are vulnerable road users. In 2011, one fatality, 70 serious injuries and 200 other injuries were reported among cyclists in the City of Melbourne. Perry Singleton, a Melbourne University student, was recently hospitalised following a collision with a car caused by the […]

 
2013 Edition 1 Editorial

Welcome to edition 1, 2013.

 
Campus Bests

BEST COFFEE Kere Kere is the best cup on campus—pay for a beverage, collect your playing card and then decide whether a portion of the proceeds goes back to the owner or to social, environmental or cultural causes. BEST TOILET TIP If in doubt of the location of the amenities, your closest toilets will be […]

 
2013 Edition 1 News in Brief

$9/hr The hourly rate that Barack Obama wants to raise the minimum wage to by 2015. It’s currently US$7.25. In Australia it’s $15.96. “WE ARE BOUND TO EACH OTHER IN THIS LAND AND ALWAYS WILL BE. LET US BE BOUND IN JUSTICE AND DIGNITY AS WELL.” —Julia Gillard introducing the Act of Recognition of Aboriginal […]

 
Cheap Arts

Samantha Riegl shares the best spots to be a sophisticated cheapskate. PLATFORM, Platform Art Spaces, Degraves St Subway Tucked away in Campbell Arcade, Platform has been running for over twenty years. During this time, the 13 glass windows, vitrine and sample space have housed work from many established and emerging artists. The space is simple […]

 
The Iliad by Homer

IN SUM Agamemnon appropriates Achilles’ wife. Achilles throws suitably Epic tantrum, refusing to help Agamemnon and Achaeans besiege Troy; both armies suffer heavy losses, described in lovingly gory detail. Gods score numerous sacrificial oxen and respond in novel and unhelpful ways. Achilles rages on. And on. And on and on and on… WHY THE WORLD […]

 
Good Morning

If I could remember, I’d tell you how much it hurt to see the sun coming through on your shoulder, where I held you for the thousandth time. How I was just the right amount of drunk and awake to notice the tan line on your neck, and miss the hostile cold of a hung […]

 
Feeling a Little Queer: with Homo Erectus

Re: Behind the Veil Shalom and Salaam, Having just spent the last few weeks in a steamy hot Israel and Palestine, I thought it pertinent to have a gander at the situation gay in the Middle East. We’re not limiting ourselves just to Israel and Palestine because then i couldn’t recount last night’s tryst with […]

 
Life S’Port: Blow My Whistle, Baby

In the good old days of lunchtime four square, I spent more time waiting in the queue than playing on the court. It wasn’t that I was a particularly bad downballer; it was just that my friends were much better than me. And so one day, I put forward an idea. Instead of participating, I […]

 
Profile: Daniel Andrews

Few people know who Daniel Andrews is. At first I was going to begin this article with the moniker, “Daniel Who?” But after interviewing Andrews, who is the Victorian State Opposition Leader, I immediately changed my mind. Two thing strike me about Andrews: he is the sort of down-to-earth friend you could laugh and socialise […]

 
Finding Sunlight

Partner Rape and Intimate Partner Sexual Assault (IPSA) are forms of assault in which a person is sexually abused by their partner, spouse or someone else they are intimately involved with. Despite the fact that they make up a majority of sexual assault cases, these forms of sexual violence don’t get a lot of press. […]

 
Stranger than Fiction

Fact or Fiction? Science fiction has minimal grounding in reality. While Stephen Hawking and illustrious company may still be going back and forth on time travel, we can all agree that overdosing on gamma radiation will incinerate you, not turn you into the Incredible Hulk. Yet fret not, science students! Like-minded individuals have achieved scientific […]

 
Razika – Program 91

Norwegian four-piece, Razika, offer always-uplifting pop rock with a strong ska influence. Tonally, they are a female, European incarnation of American hipsters Real Estate. Water-drop guitar licks and trebly rhythms doused in ceaseless reverb are just some shared features. Overall, Program 91 offers little in terms of originality, but still manages to endear the listener through […]

 
New Releases with Thomas Abildgaard

Grizzly Bear – Shields GrizzBear don’t disappoint. They are like the anti-Mickey Rourke of the music industry, in that they don’t inspire fear and discomfort, and vomit on your floor in the middle of the night.* Perhaps a little less accessible than pop delights such as “Two Weeks” from Veckatimest, but what Shields lacks in […]

 
All Things Bright And Beautiful

Dolphins are scarily intelligent. While the dolphin-apocalypse predicted in that one episode of The Simpsons may be a little out of their reach, they’re still far more cognitively advanced than we might be comfortable acknowledging. They have incredibly complex social structures, which even transcend species. Spotted dolphins and bottlenose dolphins have been observed hunting together and even looking […]

 
Softcore Prawn: Food Art & Its Origins

Do you know what the most important part of a dish is? Is it the taste? The subtle balance of sweet and salty? The freshness of the ingredients? I’ll let you in on a secret. It’s the garnish. That’s right. That little sprig of parsley. The smear of a tangy coulis beside a delicious vanilla […]

 
Bec Jones chats with Jake Preval

In the Old Testament is the story of Noah and his ark. Two by two, each animal was placed on the ark saving them from a flood that would decimate the land. But VCA student and multi-disciplined artist Jake Preval is asking, “What of the animals who didn’t make it aboard?” His exhibition Costumes for the […]

 
2012 Edition 7 Editorial

In the penultimate edition for 2012, Farrago tackles sexuality in sport. In recent weeks, Melbourne University graduate and country footballer Jason Ball came out publicly to petition the AFL to tackle homophobia within the sport and its community. His action took great courage and has already yielded positive outcomes with the AFL screening ‘No To Homophobia’ advertisements […]

 
Yes We Kanis

When Jennifer Kanis walked into Melbourne University as a 17-year-old student she found the place daunting. 25 years and three degrees later, she looks at the tertiary institution and sees a plethora of challenges and opportunities. But as Melbourne’s new state member, she can ill-afford to still be intimidated. After forging successful careers as a […]

 
Union Restructure

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) and its service provision appendage, Melbourne University Student Union Limited (MUSUL) is set to undergo a restructure. After the restructure, UMSU will manage all student related students services. MUSUL will manage everything back-of-house, such as finances, human resources, and the Union House building. UMSU General Manager Justin Baré […]

 
Interview: Bully

A major problem in schools American schools (and, let’s face it, Australian ones too), bullying affects the lives of millions of children and families each and every year. Driven by his own experiences as a child, New York documentarian Lee Hirsch shines a light on five especially troubling cases, in order to bring greater attention […]

 
Of Quarks and Bosons

“We’re all just protons, neutrons, electrons that rest on a Sunday, work on a Monday,” or so The Cat Empire tells us. Yet the truth is always more complicated, as revealed on 4 July this year when the Higgs boson discovery was announced at the International Conference on High Energy Physics in Melbourne. Yes, we […]

 
Interview: Husky

Husky, one of Melbourne’s finest newcomers, now well and truly a part of the international music community, took the time to chat with James Burgmann shortly after their hour-long set at Melbourne Uni’s North Court. Overcoming extreme jetlag and fatigue, they managed to muster up the energy to discuss their amazing album, Forever So, fake […]

 
Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

It. Is. Everywhere. A curious grandma totters into Readings, “Do you have that new book, really popular, something about shades of green?” The sales assistant, jaded from answering this question all day, replies: “50 Shades of Grey is sold out across our stores, we’re hoping to get some next week.” “Oh,” Granny pushes on regardless, […]

 
Review: Yeasayer – Fragrant World

Yeasayer, arguably one of the most popular postmodern bands around, has produced a highly listenable and groovy third studio album. Though not quite reaching the extraordinary feat that was their second album, Odd Blood (2010), Fragrant World is laudable for its wholistic, cohesive electro sound. On Odd Blood every track was just so damn easy to […]

 
Synergy’s welfare waste

I would like to draw your attention to waste that in the UMSU Welfare Department.

 
2010 Edition 5 Editorial

Federal elections and the future of journalism

 
The World According to Goat: Edition 2

Telephone calls, lady-goats, and the Westralian elections.

 
Student Alcoholism Exposed

Me want beer now.

 
Fee-orama!

Melbourne University leads the increase in full-fee students